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Daily prayers at a nearby church. Prayer has had a profound effect in making me feel better. I need to make this part of my daily routine
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Proper sleep schedule - been very erratic the past few months
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Daily intensive workouts of heavy weightlifting and HIIT( i have been neglecting this aspect of my life ever since I started cheonging, which has previously given me alot of structure/discipline in my life)
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Cold showers and meditation. Found out that cold showers have helped me “snap” out of addictive phases. Meditation to help me develop self control and mindfulness.
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Meaningful activity - will be looking to give back to the community in meaningful ways. Figured it will be better to spend my time to help those in need than to chase hedonistic destructive activities
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Indulge in new hobbies - recently took a liking to classical music. Will be exploring how art can help me in my healing journey.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sbwow
TBH, I don’t get what is the issue here.
If you want hot babes, there are plenty of opportunities in local universities. Lots of co-curricular activities to sign up each year with tonnes of hot girls. You could join dance clubs, sports activities, etc
Church is also one of the best places to mingle and socialize with girls isn’t it? With that many activities planned, you could easily hop among groups.
If with above tips and you still cannot find a hot babe, follow the below.
If you can’t get it in the market, then DIY.
A hot babe usually has good skin complexion and what they need is the good make up.
There are girls that are willing to change and doll themselves up for guys that they like.
This is where the DIY comes in.
Over the course of the relationship, you need to suggest how she dresses this and that in a way that makes her look pretty like a hot babe.
Please do not be blatantly honest and tell her upfront that she needs to do this and that to be a HOT BABE. This is a turn off which tells her that she does not look pretty.
Sooner or later, you will get a hot babe.
If she still does not change, then find another girl to DIY.
Like I said, hot babes do exist. But im an average looking guy who is not an ah sia. So I cant get them.
Makeup makes a girl look better, but it doesnt transform a plain jane to a chiobu
Quote:
Originally Posted by
catlord
Yep I know very well. If you’re a 5/10 guy, you will not get 5/10 girls. You’ll get 3/10 girls, maybe a 4/10 once in a while.
But bro…….. beggars can’t be choosers man. That’s what you can get, you take it. Don’t be like those fat girls you see online who think they deserve rich and handsome guys and think that average guys are gross. That’s just delusional, unsightly and pathetic bro.
It’s not like I don’t understand. In his youth, a man is at his horniest, yet also most unattractive to women. All the traits that women like in men are at the lowest when you’re young. Our youth is the most sexually frustrating parts of our lives, I believe this is something all men share.
This drive to improve himself to get girls is a very powerful force, but these days there’s porn and easy access to FLs. It’s actually a very common problem to get too used to them and ruin your motivation and therefore your life. I myself had that problem. I was a huge porn addict in my teens. I was a loser who couldn’t get girls too, I lost my virginity to a GL hooker at the age of 24. I remember, I couldn’t get hard at all even though she was really hot. I had ED at the age of 24. My dopamine receptors were just fried from years and years of porn. I quit porn cold turkey and eventually cured my ED, but then I got used to the hotness and easiness of FLs. Like you I couldn’t stomach average girls after chionging for a while. However I woke up and decided this is not the life I want for myself, I didn’t want to be a loser who has to pay for sex anymore. So I quit chionging cold turkey and worked on myself. At the start I had to settle for 5/10 or 6/10 girls and didn’t like it, but I got used to them and started to enjoy them too. As I improved myself my results improved. These days I can get 7 and 8/10 girls regularly and I haven’t looked back.
You have to know what’s at stake here bro. If you keep having unrealistic expectations from FLs and you can’t enjoy girls of your own level, you can’t ever form a real relationship with a girl. How are you going to get a fwb/gf/wife? How are you going to procreate and continue your bloodline? You have to decide this is not how you want to live your life and quit. Of course this requires willpower, but that’s what separates winners and losers in life bro. Nobody will help you at this, nobody cares about you, you have to do it yourself. Those who have willpower and discipline, will go out and achieve great things and procreate. Those who don’t, will be losers for life and die alone. It’s up to you which one you want to be.
And I saw your unwillingness to get therapy cos of fear of judgment. I’m sorry but this reeks of loser mentality bro. First of all, doing this can save your life. Think what’s at stake. Would you rather get judged by a stranger, or be a loser for the rest of your life??? Secondly, don’t think you’re a special snowflake and nobody else has your problem. Do you know how many young men out there can’t get girls and have FL addiction?? I was one too, and when I frequented GL in the past, guess what, there were many young guys too not just old uncles. And I bet professional therapists has dealt with way worse shit (sex offenders, murderers, drug abuse, incest etc etc). Seeing you would be like a GP seeing a flu patient; a total non-event.
Anw I’ve said enough bro. If you have enough willpower, you’ll get out of this and thrive. If not, you’ll live and die a loser. It’s up to you.
Thanks for the hard truths bro. Probably the best comment in this thread so far. Written logically and not just bashing me for quitting FLs like some of the replies here.
Thanks for taking the time to give me advice from your life experiences. We should keep in touch, I have alot to learn from you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AUDIFANSG
i think there are a lot of reasons why people engage in FL/ML services. For me its an easy and quick and relatively quiet way to fulfil my sexual urges. My wife sex drive has gone down by 90% since the birth of our kid. To me she is at least a 9 but wats the use if she has almost zero sex drive? FWB/mistress is a no-no cuz i don wan any emotional attachment. To a lot of people u pay the FL to shut up and leave after sex. Its a business transaction.
Just ask her lie down and open legs lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by
dieth1234
Don’t expect too much from ML. You will not be happy if expectations are set too high. There is not connection with ML. Just pay and go. Pure transactions. I am sick of it and stop. Just switch your time and focus to other area of life. Pick up a new hobby and meet new friends. You never know what you will get.
Yes bro, im never in it for the emotions in the beginning. Only fools wanna wife a whore lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xels
the best advice given in this thread thus far - many other guys besides TS can also take a lesson from this.
Yup guess i just have to accept that I can get never get 10/10 influencer level hot chicks. Either settle for an average sinkiebu and accept my fate like 90% of guys, or get rich and get a gold digger/sugarbaby who only likes me for me money.
I guess some things in life are fated - maybe God wants to punish me, and want me to love a girl only for her personality/character and ignore her looks.
Anyways fuck it im done, regardless of the outcome i just need to quit this bullshit and thats that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sbwow
Then why do average joes manage to get Hot chicks while you can’t?
Also, why do God wants to punish you and wants you to love her personality/character only? Why not love all three traits or more?
According to bible, God is all-knowing or omniscient, then why didn’t God answer your question. But rather the person whom you agreed with most is a commoner and not even Christian.
Since he is all-knowing, he will be able to provide you with all answers to your questions isn’t it?
There are Christians out there who can hear God’s voice, why not seek their help for God’s perfect answers?
Sorry bro, never met a 5/10 average looking guy who earns 3k/mth with a 10/10 bombshell. Yes an average guy can get a stunningly hot chick, provided hes rich or famous.
God is omniscient, but he doesnt reveal everything to us. If he did, ill be a billionaire by now.
Just an unrelated story that I suddenly remembered of after seeing a post about stds. This is a true story from my encounter with an FL from Dome 1(she is still listed here lol) about a month back.
After my shower(which i did alone), she went into the bathroom to shower herself.
I saw a plastic bag on the tabletop and decided to rummage through it due to curiosity.
To my horror, I found pills(the name was inscribed on it but i cant remember anymore) and immediately googled it. Turns out it was a variant of penicillin, which is used to treat gonorrhea. When she came out of the toilet i confronted her about it and she said it was used to treat her eye as someone had hit her. Obviously that didnt make sense and i exposed her for it, and she got angry and defensive. Decided to not pursue the matter further as I didnt want to escalate things. During the deed i didnt dare to french or paint her lol.
To bros reading this, do FLs premptively take medicine that is meant for stds? Or is it likely she alrdy kenna and using it for treatment?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
catlord
TS I saw your PM. This is not a direct answer to your PM, it’s just additional critique from me that will also tell you why I’m not gonna teach you anything. I’m gonna write it here in case it might be beneficial to someone else.
Man I have so many things to say to you but I really can’t be bothered. Basically in my opinion you really need to be less judgmental and close minded. Be more open minded, understanding and imaginative. Of course if I just say it like that, you’re not gonna understand and you’re just gonna get defensive. I like to write detailed long posts, but to get this point across I’ll need to write a fucking giant post that I really can’t be bothered to write. I’ll just give you some summary here, if you don’t get it or don’t agree, I don’t have time to explain or argue with you. No offense but spending hours writing a super long post for a stranger on the internet gains me nothing, I have an empire to build, a life to live and girls to fuck.
I saw you being very judgemental on guys cheating on their wives. Bro, I was also very judgemental as a young guy, but over time we learn to not judge people and not be so idealistic. You haven’t been married before, you don’t know what it’s like to have a wife who you still love, who won’t fuck you anymore. It’s easy to just say aiya just divorce your wife, aiya just ask her to open her legs, but that’s just lacking imagination to put yourself in their shoes. If you’re in that position, maybe you will do the same thing. Instead of judging, the better response would be to acknowledge that you lack real world experience and you don’t know shit. Open your mind and try to understand why people do the things that they do, in doing so you will gain a more accurate understanding about the real world.
Being too moralistic/idealistic without being realistic is a dangerous combination. It will lead you to make wrong decisions that might have dangerous consequences. An example that comes to mind is the minimum wage laws in the US. Some time back (can’t rmb exactly) the US implemented an arbitrary minimum wage law. The politicians sold it a good and moral thing to get votes (nobody should work for $1 an hour, that’s just slavery etc etc). They applied it to everywhere in the US, including American territories like the Samoa. However, Samoa was a third world island where the main business was tuna canning. Suddenly they got slapped with first world minimum wage laws. Labor costs had to rise tremendously and the island’s industry became uncompetitive, which put Samoa in a severe economic depression that took it decades to recover from. The local government repeatedly asked for the minimum wage laws to be repealed, but the federal government stuck with their ‘ideals’ and didn’t care. They failed to understand that their ideals hurt the very people they are trying to help. You can’t make a business pay people more than their productivity’s worth, either the business would go bankrupt or they’ll have to automate the jobs below the minimum wage, which means instead of getting paid more, the low wage people now can’t get a job. Moral of the story is, blind morality that is detached from reality is a recipe for disaster. The road to hell is often paved with good intentions.
When I saw your reply that you guess you have no chance to get hot girls and have to settle for average sinkiebus, that just shows me a lack of imagination. I don’t care how well you did in school. School is school, this is real life. School is finite. You just have to study a finite set of rules in your textbook and you’d do well. Doing well in school just means you can follow given instructions. Real life is open ended. There are so many possible answers to the questions how to get rich and how to get girls. There are no set instructions to follow. Instead of giving up like you did in that post, you have to have a wondering mind and curiosity. Are there guys that are not 9 or 10/10 that are dating 9 or 10/10 girls? (spoiler alert: yes) What are they doing that I am not doing? How can I learn their skills? Why are the girls with them? Many wonderful things are possible if you have the ability to think outside the box. There are youtube channels making $1mil a year from ad revenue alone just by making calming rain videos. That’s 100% passive income bro. Likewise there are many ways to get hot girls that are not ’normal’. Only by having imagination and thinking outside the box can you spot opportunities like these.
See I didn’t really flesh things out but this post is alr so long. Anw yeah I’m not gonna teach you how to do anything. The first thing you need is a better mentality. Be open minded, imaginative and think outside the box. They say teach a man to fish and you will feed him a lifetime, but I think, teach a man the right mentality and he will research and teach himself the 101 ways to fish, plus how to open a fish business, run the town council and bed a hundred women.
Thanks for taking the time and effort to write the post. Yea writing on SBF js very tedious lol
Wah fuck. Totally lost my mind today. Relapsed and ended up rawing a FL today. As usual, felt depressed and disgusted with myself.
I suspect I have a split personality disorder - when the addiction kicks in I totally lose all sense of self control and rational thinking. All I can think about is booking ML/FL. But once the deed is done i feel fucking disgusted and cant wait to get the fuck out. Feels like im swinging from two ends of the spectrum.
If theres any bros out there who are qualified psychiatrists, am I suffering from some sort of mental disorder? Or have I just lost my fucking mind? Whats the cure/treatment?
Seems like im trapped in this vicious cycle: Addiction kicks in and relapse > feel fucking disgusted > quits for one week > addiction kicks in and relapse.
What the actual fuck is wrong with me? Anyone experts can shed some light?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
catlord
Dude…… You need professional help. Even when I was frequenting GL I wasn’t as bad as you. You’re way worse. At this point I don’t think you have enough willpower or personal discipline by yourself to solve this, I’m telling you you need therapy. Why would you think you’ll find qualified psychiatrists in SBF? Go find a proper one. Like I said, don’t be a bitch and be scared of being judged. You’re not as special as you think, there’s nothing you can say they haven’t heard hundreds of times. Remember, whether you die a loser or a winner nobody really gives a fuck, only you can help yourself.
Thanks for looking out for me bro. I know Im just a stranger on the internet that means nothing to you but from the bottom of my heart, thanks for all the support and help. This also goes out to all the bros out there who have supported me so far.
Right now my finances are in a pinch as Im planning two overseas trip this year. The stock market crash last year and my frequent cheonging have also depleted my savings so I doubt I can afford therapy.
But one thing I know for sure is that im an absolute trainwreck right now and Im going to take actionable steps to rectify it. I will be dialling in every facet of my life as such:
Will update my journey along the way. As usual, full transparency and accountability.