[PART 1]
Hi all, today will be my last day here as I have resolved to quit this scene for good. Before I go, I want to share my story to inspire those who may read it. This is me being my most vulnerable and authentic. Nobody on this planet knows that I visit ML/FL, except for a certain priest who I confessed to.
I am a 24 year old undergraduate at a local university. I came from a good middle-class background and attended church regularly. During my A-levels which I took at one of the top jcs here, I even managed to score straight As. On the outside, I look prim and proper. But everything is just a cheap act- I am simply wearing a mask to keep up appearances. There are only 2 people who know the true depravity of my heart - God and I.
I first came into the scene after a short holiday in thailand, where I visited a sex club(which showcased ping-pong shows, etc) and came back to Singapore with a massive case of blue balls. Instead of wanking off and calling it a day, lust took over me and I booked my first ML on SLG. I still remember my first time and the name of the ML(shuang shuang) who serviced me. The euphoria of zhut zhut on a hot syt was addictive beyond measure. But as I soon realised, all cheap pleasures in life come at a cost, far beyond the $120 that I paid.
After my first session, there was no turning back. Having broken the mental barrier of visiting a commercial sex worker, I fell down the rabbit hole of sammyboy and dirty massages. Ironically enough, my nickname encapsulated what I am right now - a man full of regrets. Perhaps I had the foresight to predict where this dark path would lead me, but the thrill of this lifestyle simply hijacked all logical reasoning.
Before I knew it, my visits to ML became a full blown addiction. Initially it was difficult to book due to my new number, so I was forced to settle for landmines, aunties, and mediocre plain janes. I still remember having booked a visit to a ML at the infamous min wah hotel. When i opened the door, the ML looked quite cui and the place was lapsup as fuck. Paid her a $50 rejection fee on the condition that she wrote a good review for me which she accepted. Later on i found out from another ML that I still had no record. Felt like a fool thinking that a whore would honour her word lol.
Over time, I managed to visit almost all the so-called ang pais on SLG. Having spent over $5k over an 8-month period, honestly the only gem that I found was xiao xue. Young pretty syt with a body to die for. The most supple and soft natural D cup boobs which fit her frame perfectly. And for those complaining about her vanillaness, yes she did allow me to zhut her every single time(just to rub it in one last time before I go lol). Perhaps in another life in an alternative universe I could meet a girl like her and make her my girlfriend. Unfortunately we live in the reality of lao aunties on SLG, so too bad I guess lol.Now you’re probably wondering- Why did I spend so much money on different girls with average looks? Because it was an addiction to me. The thrill of meeting a new 7/10 ML was far greater than constantly RTF a 10/10 ML.
Eventually this addiction led me to try out bbbj which led to a certain health scare that cost me $600 to test for at a private clinic(thankfully was negative). Honestly looking back, most of the ladies offering bbbj are old and quite cui. Not hot at all. But alas, the high of blowing my load in a ML mouth was more than enough to lower my standards.
The worst part of this addiction is the need to constantly find new thrills. When i first started, I swore to only stick to HJ, but now I was craving to try a FL. One day I was browsing through the domes and the horniness just took over me. Those who are addicted will know the feeling. Feels like you are possessed by something and the only thing that matters is getting your fix of the thrill. This ended up in me visting 4 different FLs on 4 consecutive days. Yup thats right, I went on a sex rampage. How did I sustain the energy? Because I workout and take a supplement called ZMA which helps to replenish sperm quickly lol.
Anyways, everything changed on my 4th visit. She was a hot and exotic syt. I started to french her in missionary position and my rock hard dick was grinding against her. Eventually I got off her and rubbed my dick against her pussy. There was no resistance from her - so I penetrated her raw. Before i got into this scene, I would NEVER even think of rawing a FL. But thats what this addiction does- it makes us do unthinkable things that are out of our character.
Rawing her was honestly the greatest high of my sex journey so far. Soon, i turned her over and banged her in pronebone. It was only 2mins of banging but I was going to shoot my load. For context, it takes me 20mins to shoot during bbbj. That was how much this experience turned me on. Creampie is honestly one of my greatest fetishes, and I was about to finish in her raw. But for some reason, a divine miracle at the eleventh hour happened. For some reason I regained my presence of mind and could think rationally. At the last moment, I pulled out and finished on her back. Soon enough I regained my post nut clarity and was absolutely disgusted with myself. What in the ACTUAL FUCK was I thinking? Wanting to raw creampie a FL and risk pregnancy and stds over 5 mins of fun.
[Continues in part 2]
[Part 2]
Once the deed was done, all I could think about was how low I had fallen. From a once innocent young boy to a sex addict rawing a FL. This addiction had consumed me and degenerated my mind. As I reflected on my life, I realised that this lifestyle is just a dark pit of destruction and emptiness. Once you start its FUCKING hard to stop. You just keep wanting to find new thrills. It never fucking ends. Eventually one day you realise you have become a completely different person.
But this is where the miracle of my life truly happened. As I was walking out of the place feeling depressed and disgusted with myself, I suddenly had the urge to go to a nearby church. As fate would have had it, there was mass service happening at that hour. Before that however, the priest was giving confessionals. For those who dont know, basically you confess to a priest of your sins behind closed doors and he is bounded by an oath to never tell anyone, no matter how illegal or wrong it is. Wah I tell you , that shit was next level therapy. Keeping this addiction a secret and living a double life is tiring as fuck. Those of you in this forum with girlfriends and wives will understand what i mean. If you’re thinking of bringing this secret to your grave, you can do what I did, even if you’re an atheist. Trust me, it will take the weight off your shoulders and make you feel less guilty. And its free too, so you can skip the therapy, lol.
Anyways, service began and I managed to take holy communion. Basically this means confessing our sins to God, and wanting to repent. But this is where the magic happened. You see, over the past 8 months I NEVER wanted to quit. I enjoyed the fuck out of it, like a kid in a candystore. There was no guilt or remorse, I was completely desensitized to it. I was just a fucking addict chasing after the next thrill. Thats what this addiction does, you dont even realise what youre doing is fucked up or wrong. The high simply hijacks your brain and you cant think rationally. But for the very first time in 8 months, i wanted out. I wanted to get the fuck out of this lifestyle and run as far as possible. It was like being blind your whole life and suddenly being able to open your eyes. I realised that this addiction had consumed me and led me on a dark path. All the time,money and energy wasted on vice which added no value to my life. All the fucking lies and excuses I made to my family about where I was, when in fact I was bonking a FL. This was all just escapism from reality, cheap pleasure which does not satisfy and give 0 happiness.
And let me tell you something, this vice does indeed dehumanise you. I can say this from my first hand experience. This shit corrupts the soul and mind 100%. You start to see women as sex objects and only think about your own sexual pleasure. Why do you keep seeing samsters on the news for upskirts, sex crimes, etc? Because i tell you the truth, their mind and soul kena corrupted like fuck liao. Till the point they dont even realise that what they’re doing is wrong. Thats how dark this lifestyle is.
So what exactly is the point of me sharing my story? Firstly, to inspire others in the forum and warn newbies who are new to this thinking that its “cheap fun”. No its not cheap at all. The price you pay for is your own soul. This shit corrupts the fuck out of you. Im not being a religious zealot preaching from a moral high ground. I’ve been through this bullshit first-hand. And once you start its FUCKING hard to stop. Secondly, I want to write my story here so I can revisit this post whenever i have the urge to go back to my old ways. Not gonna lie, the temptation is strong as fuck. After i went home I keep having the urge to revist the FL and creampie her raw. Even went to book with okt, but managed to wank 2 times in a row and had the clarity to cancel. Thats how strong this addiction is. And if I ever relapse, I will probably be seeking professional help. Probably more worth it than paying $150 to bang a third-world villager lol.
To the attached/married guys reading this, ask yourself this, do you want to constantly live with the guilt of a double life? To break your matrimonial vows? To destroy the intimacy you have with your wife? Disappoint your kids by letting them know daddy is paying money to fuck a hooker? Or worse still, spread stds to your wife?
To the single guys reading this, do you want to waste time, energy and money on this meaningless vice? Or spend your resources wisely to build your life and become successful? Do you want std scares? By the way now DSC wait time is 3 mths, so you need to visit private like I did, which is expensive as fuck. Do you want to fall down this rabbit hole like I did and end up with regrets? Live with the shame of visiting hookers for the rest of your life?
By the way guys, im not preaching from a moral high ground, feel free to disagree with me. Im just sharing my own personal experiences. But I must admit, it feels FUCKING GOOD to be free from this addiction. Finally wake up my fucking idea. This must be how all those guys who kena KC or gong-taoed by siambus must feel after wanking and having post-nut clarity lol.
I know this healing journey will be difficult as fuck, but i will persevere. I know some of yall will read this and slam me. Perhaps say things like “Dont step religious”,“there’s nothing wrong with this lifestyle”, etc. But let me just say this. Don’t ever try to glorify this lifestyle. It’s fucking disgusting. Because throughout all cultures, across all religions, and through the span of human history, this has always been a vice. And I know that history is on my side.
Signing out,
Regretfulman, a man full of regrets
Quote:
Originally Posted by
dieth1234
I can feel you. I have the same experience. I stop for a few months since 2022. The standard of SLG drop like shit in 2022.
At first, I thought I will feel great visiting ML and get lots of pleasure. In reality, you will get shit. End up, most visits, you will get lousy services, old aunties with syt photos, money-faced ML asking for top-up and 30 mins shortchanged service. I feel so much worst after each lousy visit.
I am also cheated by belle. I am stupid to transfer her money and never get any service. I asked myself, WTF I spend money and I feel so misery and stupid? That’s the last straw.
Then my mum is sicked. I feel so guilty for neglecting her. I start to accompany her. Buy her supplements and healthy food. I spend whatever free time I have to help her with natural healing methods. End of the day she is better and I have more savings.
Reflecting back, I admit it is my bad. I thought I can get the feeling of love by visit to syt ML. Shortcut the process of dating to buy love feelings. I even justified that $120 per visit is cheap because I cannot guarantee to get anything from girlfriend even I bring her to restaurant and buy her expensive gifts. I realise what make me feel great with ex-girlfriend is the connection I have with her and it is not possible with ML.
Of course, I am still tempted to go back to ML. It is not easy to cure. Sometimes, the withdrawal symptom make me moody whole day. In my free time, I learn new skills, exercise, accompany my mum, go to beach and park etc. I don’t think I am completely cured but I am making progress and trying my best.
Update your progress when you are free so I can learn from you. Thank you for sharing and I know I am not alone. Happy Chinese new year 2023 and all the best to you.
Use the money for better purposes bro. Imagine every month you dollar cost average into S&P index fund $1000 that you would normally spend on ML. After 30 years can compound into million dollars. Or invest in treasury bills to keep up with the ever rising inflation.
Ya the withdrawal symptom is real. Will feel fucking depressed. Basically what happens is that when we visit ML, our brain produces a chemical called dopamine which gives us pleasure. Over time our brain becomes addicted to it, and makes us feel like shit when we don’t get our fix. I recommend cold showers and going for a workout, will definitely help boost your mood.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AvidFan
I feel you and it’s a constant battle everyday to fight your inner thoughts,I wish I had your strong mentality. I started my journey in 2021, at first it was curiosity to feel what it’s like to have sex with ladies. Then it turned into a dopamine addiction..
Get the fuck out now before it’s too late. At least you’re still new to the scene. Imagine those in the scene for over a decade, cant possibly imagine how hard it is for them to quit. Like asking a chain smoker who smokes 1 pack a day for the past 10 years to quit. If you still struggle and have the budget, maybe can consider seeking professional help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FreebiezWanker
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord. Acts3:19
Those who dwell in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I have no fear bro. I won’t let this bullshit addiction control me anymore. I’m a free man, not a slave to vices.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
NaughtyTeacher
errrr.. can share which FL is that….
Don’t be a cheebye la. I see your post history you married with children, yet u still want raw a fl. It’s ok bro I understand. You just horny in the moment, the feeling is like kena possessed, I also got experience before. You just want to satisfy your urges at all cost.
Go take a cold shower and wank it off. I”ll do you a favour and not tell you, for the sake of your health and your wife’s health.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AvidFan
Yeah, I really need help controlling my urges. I wonder if religion can save me, can I ask what’s a best way enter a church community or any
Can just visit nearby church for service. After that usually if you’re a newcomer they will try to find a cell group(basically a small group of fellow churchgoers for you to join. Purpose is to give you a sense of community and help each other out. Or you can also ask your friend who is a church goer to bring you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Xgenre
since you believe in God, you will be going to heaven right?. Christ forgives all your Sins right? So stop going to SLG go to heaven. Don’t stop going to SLG also go to heaven. Why not enjoy your life?
You totally miss the point bro. The point is to escape this addiction which has brought me 0 joy,happiness,or fulfillment.
Yes God does forgive our sins. But why does he want us to not sin? Because its bad for us. I guarantee you nobody here had their lives improve after entering this lifestyle. In fact let me share with you my story.
Used to go the gym frequently, but ever since i started to cheong, only go once a week. Last time fucking strong can incline bench 1.4x my body weight, now weak as fuck. Why bother to be in good shape when I can bang a hot syt on demand for $150?
Work ethic and discipline also fall alot. Last time fucking driven, but this lifestyle of instant gratification make me weak as fuck.Started to get lazy and everytime only can think of finding new ML. Totally no motivation to improve my life.
If any bros here became richer,fitter, and much happier after bonking FLs please step forward ah.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
donut88
Bro, u r young. Why no gf?
Is there something about u that preventing u from having a gf?
Ya this is my fault. Im an average looking guy, like your typical guy next door. Couldnt get any hot chicks and im not willing to settle for average girls.(bc im a horny dude who only wants hot girls lol)
This is something that im trying to work on as well. To be less superficial and try to be attracted to things other than looks. Quite worried that my cheonging days may give me unrealistic expectations also lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by
WILHD
Bro, this may be harsh, but given your beliefs:
Don’t judge aunties on their looks. They have hard lives too, I don’t think they’d chose this job because they wanted to. Yeah they use fake pictures, because men are too superficial to choose anything less than a perfect fantasy.
You want to think about spirituality and God, remember the only real reason your acts are seen as sinful is because pleasure is bad, but because no amount of money is in reality worth the body of a human being for even one minute, even if she’s ugly. You still have the client pride within you when you judge that harshly that you’ve been scammed for what you don’t even consider to be lawful trade. “Rejection cost” is a disgrace, you’re putting another insult on a sacred body. Try to see the souls before you as well.
Yes your right. I dont judge them for their looks since everybody ages and most of the people are not in control of how they look. I also understand most of them are in this line due to economic hardship and unfortunate circumstances.
But i must admit, when i was in this lifestyle and the lust took over, when i open the door and the lady looks cui i will be fking dulan. I wouldnt say “rejection cost” is a disgrace. Its like you buy durian and the seller open up you can reject. But the only difference is that its free. But then again durians are commodities and humans are not.
So if youre in my shoes and the lady is a landmine, you will just accept?