Quote:
Originally Posted by
nakadashi555
What I said in my initial post to you: get off your high horse as the first step.
Again, youre not answering the question.
You cant answer this, because you know what youre typing is bullshit pulled from you arse.
At least timeliness puts in the effort to throw big words around(though he doesnt fully understand).
As what someone rightfully mentioned, timeliness damn kuniang. I use the words “motherfuckers” ,“low ses”,also kena offended wanna to step intellectual. No wonder kena kc by 30yr old ml.
Ya, ad hominem your lampa
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nakadashi555
Never has there been a better case than to just let the evidence stand by itself….
Again, saying a generic statement without truly saying anything.
No logical reasoning, no argument, no point.
Typing to you really fucking waste time.
But then again, lets recall why you suddenly hijacked my thread and became my number 1 attacker?
Ahhh,because i exposed you for asking raw fl ctcs and trying to use said info to coerce them into giving you raw.
Do me one last favour before i go. Zap me back to 0. Start with 0 end with zero. A truly poetic end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
staminadick
原来你是零号👌
我们都不是喔
Bro. Help me. One last favour for a fellow bro.
Through my sbf journey alot of clones(no need to say who, yall can tell from this thread) keep try to zap me.
But for some reason alot of strangers keep up me. I cant hit zero.
Do me one last favour. When the clock hits 12, zap me back to zero. You have so many points bro.
This is my final request. A final bullet to the head, a coup de grace.
Though we dont know each other. We both once walked the same path. 可以吗大哥？
[1/3]Looks like my journey here has reached its final crossroads.
The final hour happened on Monday afternoon, at a seedy hotel in a wretched place.
I relapsed again, for the umpteenth time. I cant remember how many times I had relapsed. All i know was that my bank account had decreased by 4 digits.
This time, I went to RTF a popular AP that I met last week. She was one of the best encounters I had, in terms of looks and service. Every fiber of my being wanted to chase that dopamine high again - making relapse all but inevitable.
When we proceeded to do the deed, I couldnt get hard at all, much to my surprise. She even tried to raw me, but I still had difficulties getting turned on. I had completely lost all desire for her. There was no lust, passion or addictive thrill that compelled me at all.
Eventually I managed to finish, but couldnt bear to put myself through the torturous ordeal of getting hard again, so I gave up the second shot. I couldnt give a damn anymore.
On my way home, I felt empty and numb. No emotions at all. Usually a wave of regret, shame and disgust would overcome me, but this time was different. I felt dead inside. Perhaps, this lifestyle had dehumanized and desensitized me. Even now, I still dont know.
On the bus ride home, I immersed myself into deep self-reflection. I tried so hard to quit this lifestyle, but always failed. By now, at least 2 bros had PM-ed me thanking me for giving them the courage to quit. I just checked their accounts - both had been inactive since the last time we conversed. Ironic isnt it? I helped many to quit, but yet cant quit myself.
As I pondered about my journey thus far, a revelation dawned upon me. Morality, financial cost, fear of stds, and landmines couldnt make me quit. Even hearing the real-life horror stories of sex addicts from my peer support group wasnt enough to scare me. I finally realised I was missing something very important- a burning fire within me that could eviscerate the darkness of this lifestyle.
[1/3]
[2/3]
That fire is none other than self-love. You see, I never truly loved myself. I am just an average guy from a middle-class background- what’s there to love? I was nobody special, just a face amongst the crowd, a number within a statistic.
But i forgot something. I am loved by my friends and family. I am loved by God, who chose to forgive me of my wickedness. Even though I am nothing but a poor broken wretched fool, God has chosen to grant me his grace and mercy - protecting me from std scares, giving me a peace of mind when I was at my lowest, and linking me up with a caring support group.
I was so loved, but I simply refused to see it.
I now understand that the first step is to love myself first. Yes, i am an average bloke. But i am a unique individual with a unique story who has his own dreams and aspirations. I owe it to myself to live the best life possible. I owe it to myself, to pass on the goodness that has been shown to me and help others who are suffering. I owe it to myself, to be happy and live a meaningful purposeful life.
Yes,I have made many mistakes. But there is no shame and condemnation in my story. Only grace, mercy, forgiveness and compassion.
You see, without self-love, I did not have the self-respect and dignity to walk away from this lifestyle. I saw the destruction it had brought me, but I did not love myself enough to truly quit.
I thought that I deserved all this pain and suffering. That is was normal for an average guy like me to fall into vice.
I was in pain and suffering, but did not love myself enough to pull myself out of this bottomless pit.
I always gaves excuses on why I could not quit. I am a young and horny male. Addiction cant be controlled. Its a mental disorder that makes me compulsively act out. But I finally realised that it was all lies. There has always been a ladder out of this dark pit. But I was simply hiding in a corner, pretending not to see it. I grew comfortable in the shadow of darkness, afraid to step out into the light. As plato once said, “the greatest tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light”. [2/3]
[3/3]
Make no mistake, this lifestyle has caused immense destruction to my life. I now objectify women/have unrealistic expectations of sex. I have no doubt that my experiences will have negative effects on my intimacy with my future partner.
But what has happened has happened, and I have to reap what I have sowed. The time for my healing journey has begun, and my conviction to start afresh has never been stronger. I feel like a brand new person, completely born again from the crucible of pain and suffering. The fire within me has never been stronger. Even in the depths of winter, there is an invincible summer within me that can never die.
I will not fail. I will not fall. I refuse to live my life on bended knees. It is only at a man’s lowest that he truly sees himself for what he really is. And I can see it as clear as day. I am a fighter to the very bitter end.
To all the bros who have crossed paths with me, though we may have had our disagreements, i wish you all the best.
And to my cynics who tried to bring me down, just remember this. History will repeat itself, and young bros will stumble onto this forum asking for advice to quit. You can be as cynical as you want, but do me one last favour- remember to wax lyrical about my story.
It is living proof that there are no impossibilities in life. Only men who are lacking in will, courage and imagination. There are no shackles in life, only the ones you impose upon your own mind.
Oh, and I finally realise why some bros here are so quick to dissuade me from quitting. Because they were once like me, in my exact shoes. But they failed. Seeing me succeed simply reminds them of their failures. I am like a mirror to them - exposing all of their flaws, weaknesses and failures; reminding them of what they could have become if they chose to fight the good fight.
My journey has been treacherous but it has just begun. But though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.
Signing out,
Regretfulman
A man of regrets, and a hopeful future.
This has been one hell of a roller-coaster journey. But i have finally found my peace and its time to walk in the light again.
Goodbye all.
[THREAD CLOSED]