Trying to find a forum I can share about my sickening sexual past. Found this site might be suitable for me. I’m a just an ordinary middle age single white collar guy you see on the street everyday. But I do have an unusual past to share, it’s sickening & it’s buried in me for years……
As much as I can remember, I lived with my mum, grandma who is a widow with another 4 in a one room flat at Bukit Merah. My grandma is a widow selling fresh soya drink at wet market. My mum is the eldest together with 4 younger siblings. My mum was found pregnant when she was 17 & I was born normal. My mum has 4 younger brothers. All normal.
My childhood was grown up with lots of bullying & abused by my mum siblings. My mum cannot even defend herself less say about me. My grandma never liked me and my mum I have little to feed ourself. Life was hard.
It was then my grandma managed to find an older man who willing to take care of my mum & me. He’s a karung guni in his sixties, almost 40 years older than my mum. I remembered the day he took us away, my grandma did not even took a second look on us. It was the last I ever saw my grandma & my mum siblings since then.
My Stepfather was a Karung Guni man living at Beach Road. He was quite well to be as the first few days living with him was quite good as I do not have to go hungry as he feed us well. People like my mum & I destined to lead a sorrow life with him as he shows his true colour.
My Stepfather was quite abusive to my mum as he will physical beat up my mum whenever she did something wrong. How to expect much from a woman with Down syndrome.
He started to throw punches at my mum when she dirtied the floor or eating messy. We were not allowed to leave the house as he will locked the door with food on the table when he goes to work. At times when he will forced himself on my Mother while I watched when he got back home. I cannot remembered how old was I watching my step Father ripping my mum naked as he disgustedly forcing himself on her while I hid under the table watching in horror.
Whenever my step Father is drunk, he will always like to stripe my mum naked & threw her out of the house. I was always crying until I learnt to bite my lips & take the pain in myself. I will always wait for him to fall asleep before opening the door for my mum as I was too young to fight him & I was too afraid as well. Mum will always grab some wet clothes to wear first while waiting for the door to open. My neighbours were all too afraid of my step Father as no one came to our help.
That was just some of the incidents that happened but still not too bad for my mum & myself as we still get food & shelter. I started to learn to do house chores as well. In fact at very young age, I started to teach my mum how to do things correctly in order not to provoke my step dad. We were like living in prison as very seldom my step Father will bring us out but at least I still have a black & white TV to watch, food on the table & some old toys to play brought home by my step dad.
That went on for quite a while when I also fall prey by my step Father. I was not aware an old man as my step Father can disgustingly raped me. I noticed or rather felt my step Father started to take interest on me after a year or more living together. Watching my step dad raping my mum is a norm now. I was deny education as well but I learnt from TV. Sex was not needed to be learnt as I have my stepdad having sex with my mum almost Everyday.
Then things started to change as instead of me bathing alone & always my mum will bath with my step dad. I cannot remembered when my step dad started to bath for me. I remember,breed that evening when my step dad came home.
I can smell his body of stinky sweat smell while I was naked with bare hand washing the clothes in the kitchen. I ignored him as usual as he watched me washing the clothes not aware he’s actually staring at me. Then he call over my mum to him where he stands at the entrance of the toilet as he pulled off her shorts and unzipped his pant and doggie my mum while staring at me. My mum was moaning as my step dad banged her hard and firm gripping on her waist with his shirt on & pant hanging between his knee.
My step dad continued staring at me till after a while, he called me to his side to help him remove his shirt & pants. I did as told as he continue doggie my mum. Then, he suddenly grabbed my cock and stroke me,
I stood there dumbfounded as my step dad fucking my mum doggie while he stroke my cock. I cannot forget the evil look on his face till he pulled out his cock suddenly from my mum pussy as he cum on my cock. Disgustedly, he rub his cock full of cum on my face before calling me for the first time as well to scrub his back while he bath.
The first time but definitely not the last time as he did more sickening things on my mum & I.
As I grew under my step Father claws of evil, I was made to do many disgusting things in return for less beating for my mum. If I ever slightly disobey him, my mum will suffered and I did many things to please him.
Cannot remembered when it started as whenever my step dad came home, we will be naked in the house. Yes, he will force us to stripe all our clothes as we did the cooking, washing and house chores all nude when he’s at home.
It has become a norm as my mum & I will remove our clothes and attend to my step dad when he’s home as soon as he locked the gate & shut the door. It was also that I had my first anal with him as well when he brought home a VCR with tapes of gay sex.
I was forced to sit beside him stroking his cock as we watched the VCR of the gay video. Then he wanted me to do as according to the video as the man had an blowjob with another man. I watched disgustedly and did my very first sucking my step Father cock learning from the video.
Then it was not too long after as my step dad rimmed my little arse and he had anal sex with me raw. It was painful at first but I soon get used to it. I had learnt how to relax my arse to take accommodate my step dad cock and using saliva as lubricant. It’s sickening as I was just a young & innocent boy just about to enter my teenage hood.
I stay strong and take up all the abuse as much as I can as a way to protect my mum. Beating up my mum by my step dad has lessened as I will try all ways to please my step dad. Especially I knew he enjoys me rimming his arse while he raped my mum.
Thinking our life cannot get worst than this being my mum & I sexually abuse by my step dad, but even worst happened. My step dad started to mix with a group of men around his age going to night club every here and then. At first he seems less interested with my mum & me as we do have months of decent living with no need to sexually pleased my step dad & less of the physical violence.
My step dad friends started visiting him as they bragged about how they had sex with the girls in the night club and no one seems to have an interest in a late twenties woman with Down syndrome & a skinny young teenage Chinese boy.
My mum first fall victim to my step dad friends. There came a night when they brought beers and food to my house just like any ordinary night. But that night I watched with my own eyes how my step dad & his 3other friends sexually assaulted & having fun humiliating my mum in front of me.
My mum was bitterly crying as they poured beer in her mouth and stripped her naked. They took turn to rape her in every disgusting ways you can think off. It’s gross as well to see 4 men raping a woman even to the extends of retarded. Hate buried deep in me as I will wait for the day to take my revenge.
My step dad took some money after that night from the other 3 men. My guess is to pay my step dad from those men to rape my mum. Luckily I must say, those guys were not keen to have more session with my mum, and for whatever reasons, my step dad did not contact them anymore. Life for us back to the sickening old days.
The next few years started to get better for us as my step dad had a stroke. It was then I found out a lot of things from my step dad. He has a huge amount of savings and he actually an orphan himself. That’s explain why he never mentioned anything about his family. Step dad was bed ridden since then, it was me at a young age, had him send to the hospital for treatment and arrange ambulance to transfer him to & from between home and hospital.
Think my step dad appreciate what I done for him and he handed over his access of savings to me as so as we can continue to have daily allowance for my mum & me. He even got me to a school for my education even I was over aged, the school accepted me and I finally had formal education. It was heaven as I taught my mum how to take care of my step dad when I’m not home attending my school. I will come home to bath for him & cook for them both. Grossly, i remains his little toy boy as he continues to sodomize me even when he’s bedridden. I am disgusted every time he pressed my head down to give him a blowjob & his hands were toying with my cock every night. I had to sleep with him and even offered my ass for his pleasure whenever he wanted. My mum was spared as he did not seem to be interested in her.
I did some studies myself and I knew I need him to legally allow me to inherit all his money and house, so as much as I can, I please dhim. It was years when he finally signed the will for me.
My step dad passed away peacefully when I just completed my JC waiting for enlistment. Grossly I remembered a day before he passed away in his bed in the ward, he requested me to give him a last gay sex together as he knew he is dying.
I was very reluctant as we were in the public hospital but still I did as told. I transferred him to a commode for bathing and brought him to the bathroom. In there, I removed his clothing, looking at his skinny & sickly body make me puke. But still, I removed all my clothing as my step dad with his already weak left hand toying my cock. I started rubbing soap on his body as I watched his cock erected. Much hate was in me but I have learnt to swallow it as I soap my arse and had anal sex with him raw.
It was rather clumsy to have anal sex with someone on the commode but I had learnt to do it for all this years. Grossly as it can be, I have lost count how many times I had to perform oral for my step dad while he is on the wheelchair.
Everything was over when he died on his sick bed. I looked at his breathless body and my mum sitting next to the bed asking me for food not knowing what the world has come upon her. The moment he died, we are free as I laugh deep inside my heart. Not a bit of sorrow, not a bit of sadness.
I think back how I grow up under his evil claws, from a innocent boy to a guy who had to sexually pleased him every night on his bed. Thinking back how he had raped myself & my mum in the early days, forced me to watch those sex tapes and act like one to please him and many many more disgusting things I did to please him.
One incident which buried deep inside me was having anal sex with his friends many occasions. I always felt it was the humiliating incident in my life during that period of sufferings. You cannot imagine I was just a young boy at that time as I had to please those men. The most I ever did was 4 men took turns to had anal sex with me the same night.
I was left swollen and bleeding after that and they can laughed about me teasing me as a little virgin. I was forced to wear skirt and feminine clothings they brought from time to time to amuse them. I had to wear those clothing to serve them beers and I felt I’m just like a toilet bowl as they will raped my ass apart while the rest watched.
I ever tried to resist but the beatings from my step dad was hard, and he spread the violence to my mum as well. No one in this world has been experienced such humiliating bringing up I guess. Pervertly, there are occasions I do enjoy it when I was having anal with one of them while another bloody old guy sucking on my pathetic hairless cock and I’m giving blowjob to another guy. Sandwiched by them in such manner often arouse me.
I arranged cremation for my step dad and pour his ashes to the sea. I went back home that day with an extremely calm & peaceful mind. Never I had this feeling in me. I hugged my mum tight to me, looking at the house, it’s a new life and new start now. But unfortunately, it wasn’t as decent as what I thought as my mind was wild, hooking on to the terrible past.
All this while waiting for enlistment, we were being interviewed numerous times by the authority as my mum was not able to have independent mind as diagnosis and I was not legally 21. It was then they tried to locate my grandma & my mum siblings. Sadly, my grandma passed away years back. The rest of the siblings were uncontactable. I guessed they must have avoided us every possible ways.
So my mum & i were being placed under the authority for special scheme. The court had awarded us under one of their senior officer, who is a fat plumb middle aged guy for all authorised documentation & we were allowed to take a small amount of money for our livings monthly.
Life was rather carefree now for me & my mum. But the thoughts of the past continue to haunt me. I have been masturbating non stop daily since my step dad passed away. Mentally I realised I was not right. I started to patronise the brothel at Geylang. All our monthly allowance was spent on woman, transsexual and even I paid the foreign worker at Little India for anal sex. very soon, I used up all my allowance less than a month. I had no choice but to approach the plumb officer who took charge of me.
The plumb officer was in his fifties, white short hair with a big beer belly. It was not the first time I meet him but he’s seem to be really interested to what I spoke to him about my past our of records. We both developed a really close relationship as he started to give me some money and requested from me just like my deceased step dad.
We developed a really good relationship. I shared with him all my past, every details as he will listen. He offered to help me to defer my enlistment and he too applied for many helps from all agencies that I paid nothing for my house, medical, all fees & charges related to my house & even free packed food everyday.
As our relationship grew, he visited me almost everyday. We will go out together for meal together, he will help to bring my mum for medical aid home in the day so I get part time job to work in the day. Everyone thought we were just like Father & Son. Only different is, he very plumb and grey hair while I’m fit & tall & sporty as well as I was preparing myself physically for the enlistment.
Our relationship takes a turn when he caught me visiting Geylang again as my sex urge was too strong to be controlled. I recalled spending 120 bucks for 3 Thai ladies that evening, it was terrible and I was really mentally ill. I cannot control myself.
When I got home that night, he was sitting in my house waiting as he angrily questioned me. I sat down as I dare not to look at his big, fat plumb outlook and my head was hanging down looking on the floor.
Finally I broke down, I was like a little baby, he was shocked as I never cried since young, I broke down completely and cried helplessly. He sat close to me and hugged me as I cried like a baby.
Then, as I finally calming down emotionally, I felt his hand was rubbing on my inner thigh. With his coarse voice, he suggested to help me. I rest myself comfortably on his plumb body, smelling his sweaty body as I kept quiet. His hand started to move between my leg feeling my groin. All thoughts of my past flooded in my mind that very instant, especially thinking back how I was being toyed by those men, the past started to haunt me again.
I had an almost instant erection as his short and fat fingers unzip my jean and slip in, pushing aside my underwear as he grabbed my erected cock fondling me gently. I moaned softly as my hand too started to unbutton his shirt feeling his hairy chest. It was then I realised he was very hairy from his chest down to his groin.
Disgustingly, he pressed his plumb body on me and our lips locked. We were both nude and in 69 positions as I sucked on his little cock which is only about 3inches. I have never seen such a short cock as my step dad easily have a 7 inches tool and so does his friends.
I was on my four after a while as he topped me. I was almost suffocated when he cum in my ass and collapsed on top of me within minutes in my anal. He did not went home that night, he spent that night on my bed sodomizing me just like how my deceased step dad did. And sickly, I fulfilled all his request on me, be it anal, rimming, wet kisses, blowing…. we all did it. I did not managed to cum that night, but he cum at least 3 times before snoring away like a pig hugging me tightly. His body odour was very strong and I did not managed to sleep that very first night.
So here I was again back to the old sickening and disgusting days whereby my cock & ass was once again being toyed by another much older man. It was an even more extreme situation this time as I’m mentally being addicted to sex and this plumb man who has an even stronger sex drive and more ways to lead me into getting more addictive to having sex with him, less talk his small penis, the rest was just horrifying actually.
He started to bring me to a group of men who has the same interest who regularly share their partners or exchanging it. I was the youngest within the group, every meet up I was being toyed by numerous guys. We became regulars at a pub in Chinatown alley where most gay/bisexual men finds partners. I was very popular among them as I’m someone more to both bottom and top.
I disliked it especially now as many times I woke up in a hotel or some stranger place with different man/men. My sickening lust for sex is getting worse. Having sex with man alone after a while cannot satisfied me. And I’m again hate being toyed by those disgusted men. I grossed by the smelly odour from the plumb man and hate it when they held gathering with a group of men who will torn my ass apart and not spare my cock. I have to perform different disgusting acts with them as the rest watched or took turns to lay their hands on me.
Finally I was enlisted and was assigned to desk job. 9 to 5 with additional grants to support my mum & I. I stopped my ridiculous relationship with the plumb officer ending our sickening gay relationship after 4 months. I struggled hard to contain my urge for sex. It was terrible and several times I cannot control myself and I went to the public swimming pool to seek for someone who is sadly seeking for guy partner as well. It was quite easy to find someone like me preying in the public pool and the bathroom of the public pool.
I rented 2 rooms of my unit to foreigners and one of my tenant who rented a room from me together with her sister who both worked in singapore with permits. Another room I rented to a young Phillipines couple.
My Malaysian tenant was 8 yrs older than me. Her Sister living with us as also 5 yrs older than me. Both actually works in a famous night club at Paradise Center along Mount Sophia Road. The Couple was also quite young both working for a modeling company as the Husband is an award winning pro photographer and the Wife is working as a pub manager with S pass.
My life was rather routine as my desk job is simple. With the additional money I had renting out from my house, my frequent to Geylang brothel has been a daily affairs. Some days I will still roams around gardens & Swimming pool preying for guys as well. But sometimes your life can just twist and unexpected things happened.
One fine day when I went home, it was almost to 9pm. Heard some commotions between my tenants. The 2 Malaysian tenants were confronting my phillipines male tenants. The heated arguement almost turns physical if not of me stepping in right on time. Finally I managed to understand, my idiot Philippines male tenant went to took some pictures of one the Malaysian tenant while she’s bathing. No wonder as I saw one of the female tenant only wrap with towel.
Finally I resolve the matter by destroying the photo of the bathing scene and my phillipines tenant was asked to move out within a week with compensating some money to the 2 Malaysian tenants so as not to get the police involved & letting his wife know about it. That night, i masturbate at least twice thinking back of the nude pictures I saw from the camera.
The next night, both my Malaysian tenant Sister treated me to a nearby
Coffeeshop for a beer for helping them. I was trying to shake my mind off the pictures of one of the Sister nude pictures while drinking. Both sisters did not went to work that evening as we drink.
I was not a good drinker as I was also carried away and told them both about my step Father past with my mum minus me also being a toy boy to him. Both girls were older and they seem to be sympathetic about my mum past. We seems to chat well as I get to know they started to work as bargirls ever since their mum passed away in Ipoh 2yrs ago.
Both sisters were very opened that they told me they will sleep with their customer from the night club if the price is right. As I was a bit drunk and tipsy, I told them about my unusual sexual behaviour of masturbating every night before sleep but did not told them the truth about qmy sickening sexual preference. Big sis Yan seems to know I’m a bit drunk as she told her younger sis, Mei we should drink at home instead.
So we bought some beers back home and drink in their room as they do not want to see the Phillipines tenant till they moved out of my house. My room was not convenience as my mum was in it.
As I walk into their room for the first times ever since I rented it to them, the room was like a war torn zone with soiled clothing, broken panty hose, worn bra and panties, used tissues, empty instant noodle cups, cigeratte butts and empty beer cans and bottle, even used sanitary pads all over the place. I rented the room to them for half a year and guessed they never tried to clean it at all.
With the help of more beers, I took the courage to volunteering myself to clean the room for them. Both girls were not even hesitated and agreed. Immediately, I took a broom and mop with cloth and started to clean their room. I also secretly took a few of their worn panties and lingeries with sanitary pads back to my room as I was already so aroused with the sight of their room.
They don’t seem to bother at all