Although I’m hardly near retirement but I’m pretty sure the 3 years I spent in my previous company was no doubt one of the most interesting and formative phase of my career development.
I had a decent learning curve and I was blessed to have met some really nice and interesting colleagues.
It was a roller coaster ride, one which I would not want to go through again, but I would be lying if I say I did not enjoy the plunge and the thrill the free fall brought.
They’re in every office, the snitch, the back stabbers, the office slut, you name it, there’s bound to be some colourful characters in your workplace. If you are lucky, there might be that rare breed of people working alongside you who gives you that gentle nudge up the ladder, perhaps fend off a knife or 2.
I’ve never considered myself lucky, I believe I’m just being helped by ‘Gui Ren’ who happens to be around.
It’s been 2 weeks since I left my job, I’ve had a good break this couple of days and now would be a good time to just pen this down.
July 12th , 2010
Monday.
It was my first day in the new office.
I could feel a mixture of excitement and anxiety, that funny feeling you get when you know you’re heading into a fresh start.
A new environment, new colleagues, new adventure.
I made sure I was early, arriving well before the 8.30am HR stipulated in the letter.
I stepped into the lobby at 8.10am sharp and I informed the receptionist that it’s my first day.
She introduced herself as Charlene and asked me to wait in the meeting room.
Moments later, the same lady who interviewed me a couple months back entered the polished glass office.
James : Good Morning Diana.
Diana : Morning James. .. Morning. Welcome to the family yah.
We shook hands and after a short brief, she offered to give me a quick tour of the office.
The office is not big, there are about 45 of us.
Although we are not linked to any government agency, The founder used to be in the civil service and the company was run in a similar fashion. Some of the older staff even commented how some of the forms and formats used in the office is literally a copy of the ones used in public office.
I could see some old typewriters , ammonia prints and old school relics displayed in the office. Somewhat like a walk down the past.
It’s hard to believe the office is founded 30 year ago.
Looking at the size of the establishment, I was feeling a little intimidated, it’s was my second job and I was working for a small firm of 8 for the past 4.5 years.
I told myself to suck it up and take things easy.
One step at a time, I kept repeating that in my mind.
One step at a time.
9.15am
Diana showed me my seat and introduced me to the team I’ll be working with. I shook hands with the team and tried my best to remember their names.
9.45am
I finally got the administrative part of the day sorted out and I was in the midst of sorting out my email when one of my colleagues slid 2 seats down on the row on his chair, bumping gently onto mine.
He was not part of my project team, if he was , he would have been introduced to me.
He introduced himself as Qing Long.
I had to scrunch up my toes in my shoes and bit down on my teeth when I shook Qing long’s hand.
It’s rude I know but I had to stop myself from laughing.
I was reminded of my own Chinese name which was somewhat similar in spelling, Qing Hui, and all thoughts of anything funny left my mind.
Qing long, pronounced exactly as a direct translation of ‘ Green Dragon ‘ in chinese . My god. I felt as if I had travelled back in time.
James : Hi Qing long.
Qing Long : Yoz James. You need anything I’m 2 seats down. Feel free to ask.
He gave me a wink and slid back to his seat.
I caught a glimpse of his screen and saw that he’s checking out air ticket prices.
Well I’m not complaining about colleagues being friendly on my first day but having met my fair share of people, I tend to be a little wary of people I don’t know well.
How do I describe it ? It’s like you get a weird vibe, perhaps it’s 6th sense.
Anyway, One thing I’m pretty sure though, looking at his stubbles and the amount of hair he had on his arms, I know White tiger aka ‘ Bai hu’ would not be anywhere near this Qing long if you get my drift.
10.45am
I’ve already started working on my first assignment and it’s as if Qing Long could reach my mind. Right when I was about to ask for help regarding which printer to send my prints to, he popped up beside me and gave me a quick run through.
Maybe he noticed my scanning around the office and checking out the list of printers on the network.
James: Ehh. Thanks ar.
Qing Long : No problem bro, btw, do you smoke ?
James : Ermm.. socially yes. Only when I drink.
Qing Long : I see, I see.
He drifted back to his seat and I saw him pick up his phone, made a few calls and I noticed a couple of colleagues seated further away got up and the smoking gang made their way to the lobby.
11 am
I went to the printer to collect my prints and right when Qing Long and the gang came back in, I saw this lady emerge from the finance office which made me take a 2nd look.
She was walking along side Diana, with some documents in her hand.
She seemed a little pale, and she was wearing a cardigan.
The smoking gang dissipated back to their seats while Qing Long went over to the pale looking girl and exchanged words.
I got back to my seat and tried to get a better look of the girl discreetly. Angling myself towards the walkway along the row of cubicles, I pretended to be looking at some documents as my eyes waited for the legs of the girl to appear along the path.
I saw a pair of grey slacks, like something you wear for a yoga class flash into my cone of view before I registered a black cloth like pair of flats she was wearing.
Just when I was expecting the legs to go pass, it turned into my row and I noticed the girl coming closer to me.
The steps slowed and looking up, I saw the girl bent down to my seat and introduced herself.
Belle : Hi James, I’m Belle from finance.
James : Oh hi . Morning.
She went on to pass me some documents asking me for some information for salary crediting. There were some insurance forms to be filled in too.
I tried not to look at her lips too much but they seemed a little chapped and dry. I could hear several sniffs of her nose as she fought to keep her funning nose in check as she spoke to me.
I reached into my bag and offered her some napkins which she gladly accepted.
She straightened her back and grabbed a recently vacated chair from another colleague and sat down beside me.
Belle had a grey V neck t-shirt on her, the plunge was not anything to shout about but she made sure to hold her hand close to her chest whenever she bent forward.
There’s a unique smell coming from Belle, I’m not talking about shampoo or perfume, definitely not body odour, it’s felt as if she had just roused from her sleep. Belle had a nice mane of long hair, they seemed a little puffed up though. Her eyes were naturally big and you could see the tiredness in them.
She had a sweet smile, 2 pronounced dimples and her eyes naturally squinted when she gave a wide grin.
I couldn’t help myself but allowed my mind to stray, I wondered how does she look when she sleeps.
Did her legs curled up while she laid to her sides ?
Perhaps she likes to hug and snuggle up to her bolster.
Belle stood up signaling that the brief was done and I thanked her.
James : I hope you didn’t come back from sick leave because it’s my first day ar.
Belle : Haha, no lah. It’s not.
As she walked away, I saw Qing Long slid out of his chair and waylaid Belle.
He spoke softly to her again before she went back into the Finance office.
I did not think too much of it and went back to work.
11.40am
Belle emerged from the finance office and I could see she was carrying a mid size tote bag.
She was unzipping it as she came towards my direction again.
Out came her wallet and as I stood up to head to the copier.
I saw her counted 4 bills of fifty dollar notes and passed it to Qing Long and left without a word.
No need for any documentation.
Damm, Finance in this company sure is flexible.
Lunch came and surprise surprise , Qing Long insisted I join him for lunch.
It’s just as well, my team leader Steven had the afternoon off and he suggested a team lunch the next day.
I was expecting a couple of other from the smoking gang only to discover there’s only 2 of us.
I wanted to ask about his usual lunch group but felt it’s a little weird so I left it at that.
As he chatted casually over lunch, I wanted to ask about the money Belle gave him but held my tongue because we do not know each other well enough to be probing too much.
Qing Long reminded me of a typical Ah beng, albeit English speaking. He’s fluent with his dialect too and I’m surprised he was married since I did not notice any rings on him.
6.30pm
I left work thinking about Belle.
I noticed a few girls in office that were not too bad, sweet, elegant and well dressed but I did not know why I was drawn to Belle.
Maybe it’s the weak vibe she was emitting since she was sick.
It made me feel like protecting her.
I shrugged off the thought and laughed at myself. It’s only the first day at work and I’m already thinking too much.
July 13th , 2010
Tuesday.
8.00am
I was early, the buses and trains came on time and the journey took less time than my estimate.
I settled into my seat and powered up my work station.
8.20am
A few colleagues filed in and went to their respective seat.
8.30am
I saw Qing Long and Belle enter the office together.
I did a double take to confirm what my eyes saw. They were walking together alright but they were not speaking. They were walking a little too close for colleagues yet there seemed to be a little barrier between them.
They parted ways when Belle entered the finance office.
1pm
I’m having team lunch that afternoon, Qing long did not approach me, I’m guessing he knew about the team lunch.
7.15 pm
The day ended with me checking out Belle’s dress as I waited for my turn to wash up my coffee cup in the pantry.
She flashed me a smile and asked if everything is ok so far and I nodded.
James : yup, all good.
Belle : That’s good to know, let me know if you need anything.
I watch her back as she clicked off on her heels back into her room. She look visibly different from the time I first laid eyes on her.
There was colours back in her cheeks, she looked a little more radiant.
I picked up my bag and was about to head off when I saw some documents in my in tray.
It didn’t belong to me though, it was addressed to Qing Long.
I took a look at the name and realised why the mistake was made.
Qing long and I had the same surname.
The envelope was addressed to Koh Qing Long
I dropped the envelope at Qing Long’s in tray.
His table was in a mess, papers and documents piled up high, leaving barely enough space for his keyboard. His stationaries were scattered all throughout the desk. He had stuff and junk pushed all the way back to the rear of the LCD screen.
I was about to head off when my eyes caught sight or something.
I noticed a fallen photo frame tucked at the right corner of his desk, the black frame almost blending into the tangle of wires and cables.
I took a closer look and I saw a picture of Qing Long and Belle.
Belle is his wife.
I felt a mix of disappointment and shock as I checked out the picture again in case my eyes were playing tricks on me.
It was indeed a wedding picture of Qing long and Belle.
I laughed at myself for being so desperate and silly. And I thought she was a nice girl.
I went home and had difficulty falling asleep, I was hit with pangs of jealousy and frustration. I had to slap myself twice to really shake my head clear.
Although I wouldn’t term myself a gentleman but I have my principles, married women are off limits.
July 16th , 2010
Friday.
I realised it was payday on the 16th for the office as I saw Belle handing out the payslips together with another girl which I came to know as Xiu Ping.
When it came to my turn , Belle said that i’m still new, they haven’t got my stuff in order at the moment, I’ll be paid the following month.
James : Sure no problem.
Belle : Everything ok so far ?
I nodded and smile.
The moment she walked away, Qing Long slid over to me.
Qing Long : Eh Brother, tonight I got a room. Introduce some contractors to you.
James : Eh, what do you mean ?
Qing Long : Mai keh keh la,Some of my contractor say he know you. Haha
James : Ehhh. Who ?
He rattled off the names of 2 project managers I use to work with and I nodded, saying that I join them occasionally.
James : Entertainment cum business development.. I don’t usually go one la.
Qing Long : Aiyah, I already promise them I’m bring you along, give face la. I see you in the lobby after work yah.
I felt a little compelled against my wish but I don’t want to give a rude rejection on my first week at work.
6.20pm
Qing Long kept gesturing me to be quick and we left the office at 6.30pm
I can’t help but bring up the question.
James : Eh, Belle is your wife ar ?
He nodded as he lit a fag the moment we left the lift lobby.
Qing Long : Yah, that’s why must be fast, wait she catch me I cannot go out liao. Haha.
I did not think that comment was funny so I just nodded.
8.40pm
It’s coming to 2 hours and I could see Qing Long was pretty hyped up by the alcohol.
I caught up with the contractors I worked with before and like Qing Long promised, he introduced a couple of steel fabricators to me.
We all had girls around our arms, nothing to rave about.
They flew around every 10-15 minutes or so.
9.00pm
One of the Main contractors called for the bill and settled it without batting an eyelid. He asked for the remaining 3 bottles to be kept.
I on the other hand had to keep rubbing my eyes.
As if rubbing wasn’t enough, I batted and blink as well.
No I’m not referring to the usual touching and caressing.
I couldn’t care less when I saw Qing Long cupping his hands around the breast of that China girl, I didn’t even think it was out of the ordinary when I saw his hands disappear under the skirts of a few girls.
Nothing to shout about.
What I couldn’t believe my eyes was Qing Long’s constant whisper and gesturing with the girl, as if he’s bargaining for something.
I saw a nod from the girl and they stood up.
Qing Long gave me a look, put his finger to his lips and left the room with the girl.
I turned to my contractor and he just shrugged his shoulders, “ Not the first time “
Two things went through my mind that instant.
One , I hope he practice precautions and maintain a certain level of hygiene, I’ve got to be careful of sharing food with him.
Yes yes, me and my draconian mindset . I know science too, but this is probably more of a mental issue for me.
The second thing I was pondering about was , you guessed it.
Belle.
11.30pm
I stepped out of my shower, feeling refreshed. The cold water cleared my head and the quiet room gave me the chance to think.
What I could not wrap my mind around was I’m a new addition to the office. I knew Qing Long barely a week, intimate details like these should not be revealed to me.
It’s a bit weird.
The way he acted was so casual, as if nothing was wrong.
He casually mentioned say will ask me along when there’s another round.
End of the day, it’s none of my business but I can’t help feeling a little unjust for Belle.
I hardly know her too and technically it’s none of my business if her husband is eating out but I don’t know why I felt like telling her.
I laughed again in that empty room.
I hardly know Belle as well, I have no business walking up to a colleague I knew for a week to tell her her husband just banged a China girl he met at Peace centre.
Big offices sure are more interesting.
July 17th , 2010
Saturday
My appointment states it’s a 5.5 day work week but HR told me that usually nobody comes in on Saturday unless they have stuff to clear.
The central A/C stops at 12 noon at Saturday.
I brought along some of my trusty old files with notes and stuff I’ve compiled over the years. Stuff that’ll come in handy at work.
I got to the office at 10am and the lights were on.
I took my time arranging my stuff onto my desk, placing some comfort items and figurines at the corner.
I saw a couple of colleagues seated far away and the only person walking around was the pantry auntie who was going around with a trash bag.
10.40am
I’m all set at my desk and I was about to left when I notice the Pantry auntie, Auntie Goh , that’s what everyone calls her fumbling with a set of keys in front of the finance office.
I pushed back my seat and was walking along the path when Auntie Goh asked for help reading the small tags on the key rings.
Auntie Goh : Ah Boy ah, can help me see finance room key.
I laughed and replied in mandarin that I’m flattered she called me Ah boy.
I felt a small spark of static hit me as I took over that bunch of keys and I cycled through the selection. There’s about 12 of them, each individually labeled and tapped over.
I found the key labeled Finance and help Auntie Goh unlock the door.
James : Nah, Done.
Auntie Goh : Thank you arh.
She shuffled in and her leg found a rubber door wedge by the side and she stoppered the door from closing.
I’ve never been inside this room before and that was the first time I saw the interior layout of the room.
Staring right at me was Belle’s desk. Her name embossed and cut out on a timber block.
I saw 3 more desk and a connecting door to HR.
I felt a rush of excitement and curiosity when I saw Belle’s desk.
I did not want to loiter too long and I left.
July 19th , 2010
Monday.
I passed by Qing Long at the pantry and he gave me a nod and none of us made any mention of last Friday. Not that I’m keen to start a conversation about it, knowing about it is disturbing enough.
Work started coming in and by the end of 2nd week, I believe I’ve pretty much settled in.
I steal the occasional glance at Belle at work, she dresses well, and she’s friendly with everyone. Perhaps with exception of her husband.
Maybe it’s professional courtesy that they want to appear a little cold in front of everyone.
July 23rd , 2010
Friday.
I was rushing to put together a presentation for my team leader and the day was a complete chaos. I did not even realised I had missed lunch until my stomach started growling at 2.45pm.
None of my teammates budge and I did not want to be the one to break the silence so we slugged on.
We finally put together everything at 4.15pm and my team leader Steven, sped off in a cab to the airport.
I could not take it anymore and said I need to eat.
My team mates Terry and a Thai guy who goes by Po, came along and we had a slow lunch + high tea at the café tuck in the corner of Amara hotel.
We chatted casually, I asked questions about the company’s culture and the people and they answered them. When I brought up the name Qing Long, they laughed and said he’s an oddball.
They added that he’s married to the girl in Finance, a fact which I already knew.
Lately they seemed to be having some problems and only just last month, they quarreled in the pantry after work.
The topic changed suddenly for no reason whatsoever and we began talking about other girls in the office. Nothing too sensitive , I’m still new afterall. I could tell they were holding back certain information they deem inappropriate for me.
We got back at 5.45pm I was already in the weekend mood.
I cleared a couple of email and was getting ready to pack up and go when I saw Qing Long stood up, grabbed his bag and left at 5.55pm
No one cared.
I left the office at 6.10pm and made my way to the train station.
It’s already packed and I waited for the 2nd round before I got onto the train.
I alighted at raffles place to switch onto the red line. Right when I was crossing the platform, I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure some distance away.
I knew that gait, the way she held her laptop and tote bag together.
I knew we made it into the same train but in different carriages.
I caught another glimpse of her as she excused her way into a corner.
I lost sight of Belle the moment the trained moved off
The crowd started to clear visibly when we reached Ang Mo Kio.
I saw a vacated seat and was about to take it when I saw Belle a distance away fiddling with her phone.
She did not notice me and I see no need to go forward, I’m not sure why.
Perhaps subconsciously I wanted to distant myself from her, I knew it’s trouble if I get too close.
As the train approached Yio Chu Kang, I saw Belle slowly walking towards the exit and held on to a grab bar, her eyes never left her phone.
I knew I should not do it but my curiosity got the better of me.
I waited for her to alight and when I’m sure she made the 90 degree turn towards the escalator, I got off as well.
I kept my distance, but my eyes never left the tightness of her behind, her bottoms filled up the black pair of work pants comfortably, not too tight that I can see squished fats but it’s full, supple and so… delicious.
These are the times when i realised that i’m just a sick closet stalker.
Her pants tapered and cropped towards her feet, ending a couple of inches above her ankles, exposing the naked white flesh of the shin.
Her white blouse was translucent, clinging close to her body.
I could see a modest white singlet beneath her blouse.
I saw her shifted her weight in her heels, her body angling from right to left as she made way for the moving traffic on the right of the escalator.
I reckon she can’t be a day over 30, she looked young but commanded an air of maturity.
I angled myself to her blindspot and followed from a distance, my mind racing for a reason should she happen to turn around and see me.
Belle turned left from the exit, heading towards the stadium.
I waited for her to finish the narrow pathway beside the tennis courts before I quicken my pace to catch up.
I reckon she must be heading to the gym.
I emerged from the narrow path, trying to catch my breath and try not to appear too obvious that i was looking around.
I turned towards the gym and realised that she’s nowhere to be seen, turning to my right, I caught sight of Belle heading towards the pool.
Fuck the gym, she’s going to swim.
I felt a little frustrated as I do not like to be caught unprepared. Then again there never were any plans to stalk Belle in the first place.
I watched a little helplessly as I observe from a distance Belle buying a ticket and disappearing into the swimming complex.
The thought of heading in too crossed my mind but I’ve been inside the pool before, it’s pretty much exposed and I figure it would be hard to hide if I couldn’t blend in naturally.
I quickly retreated to the podium under the gym and had a drink from the cooler to calm myself down.
The thought of coming so close to seeing Belle in her swim suit yet being unable to fufil my perverted desire is putting me on an edge.
I could already visualize the wet fabric clinging to her tight supple body.
Droplets of water slowly dripping down the tips of her wet hair.
It’s coming to 7.10pm , I’m hungry, the humid weather got to my brain too as I considered my next move.
Part of me wanted to just stop this nonsense and head back for a shower, but another part of me felt that since I had already come this far, I should perhaps just hang around a little. It’s not as if I had anything better to do.
Such is the sad life of a sick pervert.
I got myself a drink from the vending machine and I walked around, checking out spots which gave me a clear view of the pool entrance. I did not know what time Belle would be done, it could be an hour, maybe 2, god knows.
I open air carpark at the pool entrance was pretty full, giving me plenty of spaces to hide if I needed to. The thing is I’ll probably be arrested if someone calls the cops about an idoit behaving suspiciously among rows of parked cars.
I lasted whole of 30 minutes before I gave up.
I made my way home to hougang and I almost wanted to say how much I despise myself at my reflection in the mirror.
July 23rd , 2010
Saturday.
I made plans to meet my friends for lunch in town after running some errands for my mum. I was still a couple of hours early and I did not want to spend it stoning at a coffee joint so I made my way to the office.
I arrived at 11.45am that Saturday morning and it was empty with exception of Auntie Goh who was about to leave.
Auntie Goh : Eh Hello. Later remember to lock door ah…
James : Ok.
I played some games on FB, killing time for about 30 minutes before I decided to do some snooping around. I took a casual stroll along the cubicles, checking out other colleagues’ stuff and keeping an eye out for anyone who might have come into the office when I was busy with my games.
Fresh memories from yesterday’s stalking stired up the sick sie of me and i decided to make my move.
I made sure I was the only one around and I tried the door to finance. It’s locked, no surprises.
HR’s room is locked too.
It’s weird that I could feel an erection creeping up on me as I slowly explored the empty office.
I went to Qing Long’s cubicle, and I tried the drawers. Those that could be opened did not contain anything interesting. The pedestal was locked but I did not have the key.
I took the photo frame that was tucked in the corner and dusted it , it was dated 2008. Belle looked even better couple of years ago. I could not tell if it was the look of bliss and happiness on her face or the photographer did a great job of capturing her at just the precise moment.
She was not looking directly at the camera, more like a little sideway glance, with her face angled slightly. Her smile was sweet and it was the look of someone in love.
I replaced the photo frame and I tried to make sense of the mess on Qing Long’s desk.
I gave up halfway and went to the pantry.
I opened the cabinets in the pantry, drawers, compartments, everything. Looking for anything interesting but there were none.
Auntie Goh had a corner where she always sat and rest which was piled with some boxes and plastic bags and I gave it a brief probe.
Nothing.
12.20pm
I was about to head out to meet my friends when I paused at the reception.
I made sure all the lift indicators were not anywhere near my floor and I snooped a little at the counter.
The reception holds a treasure trove of information. I tried drawers and cabinets. Most of them were locked but I got lucky with one drawer.
I opened it and I saw a bunch of keys.
It was not the bunch Auntie Goh had but this was another bunch, each key was marked with 4 digits that were not in running order and the numbering did not make sense. It was written on a piece of masking tape and unceremoniously wrapped around the top.
I replaced the bunch of keys and shut the drawer, right when I was about to head off, I caught sight of the list of telephone extension stuck in front of the reception.
The last 4 digits of the extension were printed in red.
I quickly took out the bunch of keys again and I double checked my extension number
A light bulb went off and I searched for the one with my telephone extension and matched it with the one I have in my key ring.
It matched perfectly.
It’s the key for the small metal pedestal under our desk.
I checked the time on my watch and reckoned it’s a little late to head out and make a copy.
I made sure everything was returned to the way it was and I was about to leave the desk when I caught sight of another piece of document.
The receptionist had a large piece of print out inserted underneath the bottom of her desk which tracked Staff’s leave schedule for the month.
I found Belle’s name and saw that the day I started work, she was supposed to be on sick leave
Satisfied with the amount of information I’ve gathered, I went and met my friends for lunch.
July 26th , 2010
Monday
I got to work early on purpose and stepped into the office at 7am. I buzzed myself in, dropped off my bag and immediately went to the reception for the bunch of keys.
I retrieved the keys for Qing Long and Belle and left the office with some documents and files.
I took a slow walk to Tanjong pagar market for my breakfast and I waited for the hardware stall to open and made a duplicate of the 2 keys.
9.30am
I strolled in leisurely , waving at the recep with the documents in hand.
I settled down into my seat and got to work.
And I kept willing for time to pass faster that day.
3.00pm
Perhaps it’s just me but Belle seemed a little tan that day. I commented that she looked a little tan when I pass her at the pantry and she gave out a soft reply
Belle : Really ?
I saw her twist her forearms and looked at her elbows before checking out the rest of her exposed body.
Belle : Don’t feel any different leh. Haha
James : Hmmm. Must be the lighting then. Haha
She returned the parting smile and went back to her room.
6.20pm
I took my time with my work, leaving some last bits to be finished up before I step out to grab dinner.
The office was almost empty by the time I got back at 7.10pm .
I was the only one in my immediate area and I quickly retrieved the key I duplicated for Qing Long’s pedestal . I took a quick glance behind my shoulder before I dragged his pedestal out and putting mine side by side.
I took a few pieces of material boards and placed it on top of the 2 merge pedestal, in case somebody came by, I could say I’m just borrowing the space.
I unlocked the drawer and I was not surprised it’s a mess. There were old receipts, a zippo lighter among a mess of papers. Some photos from company events, post it pads.
Some loose change, probably bought $20 .
I briefly glanced through the receipts and slips of paper and I finally found something which i’m after.
I saw a receipt dated back a year ago for the installation of wallpaper.
I scribbled down the address and returned Qing Long’s cabinet.
8.45pm .
There were still a few person left in the office but it did not look like they’ll be leaving their seat anytime soon. I took a calculated risk and went to the reception.
I made sure no one was looking and I replaced the missing keys.
9.00pm
Still a bit of a crowd at the train but I’m feeling pretty good that day.
I took the train to Yio Chu Kang and I alighted.
I caught my bearings and I took the overhead bridge and I slowed down my footsteps.
I stopped at the block and thought about heading up to the unit listed on the wallpaper receipt but decided to take a look up from the carpark.
The lights were off, did not seem like anyone was in.
There were some rags and cloths out on the laundry bamboo, nothing interesting.
I decided to take a quick walk up to the 3rd storey unit and check out the exterior.
There was 2 bicycles that looked neglected being chain locked together. An incense burner bin sat at one corner.
There’s a shoe rack but the items on it looked rather old and dusty, no hot heels of Belle for sure.
9.45pm
I left YCK and upon reaching home, felt silly and ashamed once more at what I had just done.
July 30th , 2010
Friday.
I was prepared. I had both my gym and swim gear.
I tried to act casual when it’s almost 6pm and I kept checking to see when Belle is leaving the office.
When I saw her wave to a few colleagues at 6.10pm, I started packing.
Qing Long told me he’s heading to textile center and asked if I would like to join.
I politely declined.
Qing Long : Mai buay steady leh, Lai la. I treat.
James : I’m meeting friends for gym.
Qing Long : Wah, steady, so healthy. Another time then.
Qing Long wasted a bit of my time and when I saw him leave, I got no choice but to let him go ahead as I want to avoid any unnecessary conversation.
I manage to catch up with Belle only at the platform at Tanjong Pagar. I tried my best to squeeze and pray I would get on the same train.
There’s no way of knowing if she’s heading back to swim or what but I’m just trying my luck
When the carriage arrived, it was war.
Amidst shoving bodies of sweat, I managed to get on in an awkward position and I manage to catch a quick glimpse of Belle’s pink top before a giant man blotted her out from view.
I heaved a sigh of relieve as I struggled with my work bag and my gym gear.
Easy part’s over.
Now I can only hope she’s heading for her work out.
7.20pm
The majority of the crowd cleared at Ang Mo Kio and I lost sight of Belle. I did not want to walk into another cabin so I held out my hopes that I’ll see her alighting at the next stop.
7.25pm
I took my time strolling out of the train and I felt my heart skip a beat my eyes found Belle again.
My own actions creep me out as I kept a safe distance.
Belle took the same route and I followed a little closer this time round.
I saw her make a right turn towards the pool and I kept up my pace.
I slowed down considerably to allow Belle to get her ticket.
At the back of my mind I tried to reason with myself, why am I doing this ? I could not answer the question.
It’s definitely not love at first sight but Belle looked sweet and alluring in her own unique way.
7.35pm
She entered the gantry and turned towards the ladies.
I quickly got my ticket and I entered the pool.
Talk about being prepared, I was wearing my trunks the whole day.
I rushed to strip myself off and almost ran to the adult pool.
It was a gamble, 33% chance. 50% if you consider she can’t possibly be at the kids area
That left the 1m pool and the main one which I’m dipping myself into.
The water was cold and there was a gentle breeze blowing. I had already wet my hair and I pulled on a swim cap, my futile attempt at a disguise.
I pulled my goggles on as well and my eyes were finally rewarded.
Belle had on a 2 piece swim suit. Not a bikini or anything revealing but simple and functional. The top looked like a bigger version of a sports bra but the cups had layered folds in them as part of a design.
The white colour hit me like a ton of bricks as she stood out among the evening swimmers.
She turned heads, she really did and I saw a couple of swimmers turned to catch a glimpse of her.
I even caught the lifeguard stealing a glance.
I was expecting her to use the ladder or perhaps find a corner to get into the pool but I was wrong.
Like a nimble acrobat, she stepped to the edge, lowered her body head’s down, arms stretched straight and her body pierced the water with hardly any messy splash.
I’ve always wanted to pee whenever I got excited. And although it was pretty inconsiderate, I couldn’t help but let go there and then in the pool as I see her glide gracefully pass me a few metres away.
As she glided past, I felt an erection stir.
I thought the front part of the swim top looked good, but the multiple thick criss cross strap at the back threw and image of Japanese bondage into my mind.
I paused to wait for my manhood to calm down as it’s pushing hard against my trunks.
I pretended to swim, my eyes feasted on her body under the water. Her breast was not big, I would say a really full A if I trusted my eyes under water, but her bottoms and her legs took my breath away.
Her bottom swim piece was like a tight version of FBT shorts. The fabric clinging tightly to her bums.
I managed half a lap behind her when she was doing breast stroke.
Everytime her legs parted, I was hit with a sick and perverted thought.
It was then I realised I needed professional help. I can’t be stalking people like this, but somehow Belle had stirred up this strange curiosity in me.
I briefly counted 12 laps non stop before she started slowing down.
I’m guessing it’s about time so I left the pool when I saw Belle swam towards the other end.
I showered and change, packed up and left the complex.
I took the path Belle would be taking to head back to the train station and to her place 3 times. Back and forth, checking out the spots near the tennis court and the gym.
I found a spot I wanted and I went over to that spot.
The light was strong at the side but where I was standing the strong light casted a dark shadow.
There I stood, and I waited.
I could not remember exactly how long it was before I saw a familiar figure heading towards my direction. It was already pretty dark and I had already mistaken someone else twice to be Belle.
I can’t be wrong the 3rd time and as she drew closer, the light from her hand phone illuminated her face, casting a white glow on her amidst the orange light from the street lamps.
Gone were the office clothes, Belle was clad in a simple denim shorts, faded light blue, almost to the point of being white. She had on a white singlet and I could see the outline of a black tube underneath.
I waited for her to pass me by before I slowly slid behind her.
I must be mad, I knew I must be to be just following behind her in this manner.
But I felt strangely alive, the thought of it sent waves of indescribable pleasure down my spine.
Following and stalking is one thing.
The desire to get closer, to get nearer without your target realizing it was another matter altogether.
The mere thought of closing the distance between 2 moving bodies, the mere sight of her appearing bigger and nearer as you bridge the gap, the mere whiff of her shampoo sent blood rushing to my manhood.
I tried to match my footsteps with hers, the path we were taking were flanked with matured trees. Their dried leaves and twigs littered the ground around us.
Every scrunch , every snap of a twig echoed.
I tried to be as natural as I could, I wanted to play the role of a passing resident, the role of a harmless civilian, the insignificant role of a passer by.
As I drew closer, Belle was still engrossed on her phone, she looked up only when she crossed the road at the bus interchange.
The crowd got bigger once we near the train station, I must have been an average distance of 7-8 metres away. I could see Belle’s wet hair, I could also see the visible wet patch it caused on her white singlet.
There seemed to be a small scar at the back of her left knee.
A sudden breeze carried the smell of her shampoo towards me, together with the smell of car exhaust.
I slowed down considerably as we approach the overhead bridge. There’s a possibility she might turn or notice me when she climb up the steps.
There were other people heading to the bridge, I tried to blend in, pretending to check my phone.
I closed the gap once more as I descended the steps on the other end and watch Belle head to her place. The same address I got from the receipt.
As she disappeared into the stairwell, I headed over to the other block and looked up from the carpark.
I waited and soon I saw the kitchen lights come on.
I estimated it must have been close to 15 minutes before I saw the swimming costume being hung out as I observed behind a column.
Belle opened the window and in a swift motion like a samurai thrusting his blade, she stuck out the bamboo and retracted into the waiting hole.
If only I could describe the sick thoughts that came with that sight I saw.
Belle disappeared from the window and I stood quietly a distance away.
The swimming costume she just wore for the swim flapping gently in the evening wind.
If only I could get my hands on them.
I felt my phone buzz and it snapped me out from my trance like state.
I read the message and I decided to risk another look, closer this time.
I took the stairs as quietly as I could, stopping almost one entire flight before the 3rd floor.
Thankfully the neighbour’ door was close and I was able to get within 5 steps before the landing in front of Belle’s place without having to worry about the neighbour.
Belle’s door was opened. I could hear the TV. I tried to think of ways to catch a glimpse of her but I was ill equipped for that task.
My eyes darted to the shoe cabinet again.
There’s were no shoes, no heels, not even the pair of wet flip flops she was wearing.
There were 2 bicycles chained on the next landing one flight up, I’m not sure it those belongs to Belle.
I took note of the time at it was already 9pm.
I could feel my stomach rumbling.
I decided to call it a day and head back home.
July 31st , 2010
Saturday.
I made plans to be in office early that day. I had some work to clear but it’s not urgent.
I’m going back for Auntie Goh.
I reached Tanjong Pagar at 7.30am and I made a trip to Maxwell market to have breakfast. I made sure I got a generous serving of the tapioca kuey that Auntie Goh mentioned she liked.
I took my time enjoying my coffee and porridge before making my way to office at 8.30am
I got there at 8.40am and I gave Auntie Goh a wave as I got to the pantry.
James : Auntie , lai, have some kuey.
Auntie Goh : Wah, thank you thank you.
I left it at the pantry and went back to work but my main objective was to observe Auntie Goh’s routine.
She emptied the trash first, making her rounds around the entire office before she unlocked the HR and Finance room.
Trash from the room were emptied last, which meant whatever was thrown would be right at the top.
It still would be quite a task to rummage through the black trash bag.
The 2 doors were then closed as Auntie Goh started with the plants, moving on to the meeting room. I could hear the vacuum come on and she must have spent a good 15 minutes inside the room.
The bag of trash was just sitting beside the pantry unattended.
Auntie Goh came out with the meeting room, did some stretching, then she disappeared over to the reception.
I did not know how long she would be taking but I grabbed a plastic bag and I quickly headed over to the pantry.
I opened the black trash bag and confirmed that it was mostly paper trash. i must have grabbed like 5-6 fist loads of top layer trash before I filled my own plastic bag.
I tied up the my bag of treasure and quickly returned to my seat.
5 Minutes later , Auntie Goh turned back around and started the vacuum from the front of the office.
Throughout this time there were a couple of colleagues from other team strolling in but thankfully they were seated closer to the front of the office.
It’s going to be a challenge getting into the room and checking out Belle’s desk.
I needed a plan.
I needed to think.
First I got to sort out the trash.
I left office at about 11am, heading back home with a packed lunch. It’s going to take a bit of detective work, my apologies, stalker work to sort out the information.
I separated the piles, some were shredded paper, no doubt confidential stuff from finance and all. I ignored those, got to be realistic. It’s not going to be easy to piece those together.
I’m not much of a gambler but each time I smooth out a piece of crushed paper, my heart skipped a beat. If you asked me exactly what I was hoping to find, I would not have been able to answer you. Piece after piece, some were torn pieces of fax, letters, but they were torn in large pieces, easy to piece them together.
As the pile got smaller, my hopes dimmed.
Then as I got down to the last couple of pieces, I struck gold.
Not exactly gold but more of another piece of information that I could use.
It was an application for a flea market stall by Belle. I saw the location and my mind had already started thinking of the possibilities.
It was a hand written application, but I saw some mistakes in spelling at the home address part. Belle spelled Singapore wrongly and instead of cancelling it out, she must have decided to fill in another.
She must love the country.
That’s pure assumption on my part.
I checked the date and marked my calendar, although I had no way of confirming the flea market stall was allocated to Belle, I knew I had to find out one way or another.
2nd August 2010
Monday
I squeezed out every bit of my brain juice, re-enacted every possible scenario I my mind, but I could not think of an appropriate way to ask Belle directly, afterall we were just colleagues, hardly close enough.
I took a glance at Qing Long who was playing games on his handphone and shrugged the thought off.
It would be interesting to find out the story between these 2.
As the week drew to a close amidst tight deadlines , I felt more and more helpless as the day of the flea market approaches.
I hardly got to speak with Belle that week, I tried to time my pantry visit when I see her heading there but there always seemed to be someone else there who would know her better and my conversation was limited to just a mere ‘Hey’ , and ‘ Coffee time ar ? ‘
The only part which lit up my day was Belle’s smile and a gentle nod of her head.
6th August 2010
Friday
I repeated what I did, stalking Belle to her swim
I did not know why but I was feeling more relaxed since I know the route she was taking. One thing I could not understand was why she still looked pretty fair for someone who swims.
Perhaps it was the moonlight.
I did not enter the pool that time round, I stopped near the gym and went for my jog on the threadmill. It was pretty amazing that I actually felt aroused while I jog, thinking of Belle swimming barely a few hundered metres away.
I did not see the need to stalk her back to her place that evening and I made my way back.
7th August 2010
Saturday
I was up at 9am.
I asked 2 friends out for lunch in town at Concorde hotel.
It was a gamble and I was hoping it would pay off.
10.30 am
I could see stall owners milling about, some of them setting up their own stalls. It was quite a long corridor and I could not spot anyone that resembles Belle in that crowd.
I decided to grab a coffee before coming back later when more stalls were up.
11.45am
I came back and when I turned the corner, I felt my sprits lifted.
I saw Belle.
She had a small table of neatly arranged accessories and a rack of clothes by the side.
There was also a opened suitcase with more clothes on the floor.
I felt an erection coming. I did not know whether it was from looking at Belle sitting crossed legged on her chair reading a book or it’s from the beautifully written sign that says ‘ Pre-owned dresses and tops ‘
Pieces of clothing that Belle had worn before, right in front of my eyes.
Did she perspire in them ? Did she wash them properly ?
Which one was her favourite ?
Perhaps some feminine stains left on them by accident ?
I even saw a row of marathon running shirts and singlets in an array of colours going for $2 each.
I would buy the whole lot if I could, the thought of Belle running and panting in them as they clung to her wet body.
The flea market was one place I could own them legally, but it would be pretty dam awkward if I were to buy them.
I was lucky with my choice of lunch Kahkis that afternoon. With them around, it’s going to be interesting.
I needed it to be interesting.
Because I wanted to use that as an opportunity to start a conversation with Belle that would be able to last and perhaps branch out into something more.
I turned away and waited for my friends at the Hotel Lobby.
Alex and Bert were my client once but we hit it off and became close drinking buddies.
They were perhaps one of the nicest clients I’ve had.
There are those good looking hunks that turned heads wherever they went but I had to be a little cautious whenever I meet them. I already got my butt pinched several times in a joking manner.
Don’t drop my soap bar I was told when I went swimming with them at their club.
They arrived on time at 12.30pm
We chatted for a while and I ignored the comment from Alex that he’s glad I initiated the meeting in a hotel.
I bought them lunch. Put up with some of their sleazy comments and finally asked for their help. They burst into laughter which drew the attention of a table of ladies.
Bert was all charming and smiling towards the girls and he raised his glass at them, evoking a suppressed giggle from that group of girls who can’t be above 21.
We concluded lunch at 2.30pm and after a good round of catching up.
We’re ready to go.
I’m excited about the idea and Alex and Bert were up for some fun too.
2.45pm.
I made my way towards Belle and her stall.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
StillLearning
“His table was in a mess, papers and documents piled up high, leaving barely enough space for his keyboard. His stationaries were scattered all throughout the desk. He had stuff and junk pushed all the way back to the rear of the LCD screen. "
I believe that it should be stationery (no s), not stationary (not moving).
Thank Bro, noted.
I considered a few approaches, part of me wanted Belle to spot me on her own, but the other part felt that I should initiate the contact.
I could see she was still engrossed in her book, there were a couple of people browsing but she hardly took note. I stopped a few steps away as I looked at what she was wearing that day. It was a simple T-shirt and Denim Shorts.
The denim shorts though had this trimming of white lace at the bottom. Something different. Maybe she had sewn it on herself.
Staring a bit too long at her exposed feet, I noticed for the first time her 2nd toe was longer than her big toe. I could feel my heartbeat increase as I stood in front of her stall.
She did not look up and I spoke the first word.
James : Hey. Moonlighting ar ?
It took Belle a moment to react as she looked up and caught my eye.
I could see the look of surprise in her eyes as she flashed me her smile, revealing a little of her neat white teeth.
Belle : Hey hello. ! What are you doing here ?
She placed the book down and uncrossed her legs, probably slipping into the flip flops beneath the chair.
Belle stood up and I continued.
James : I met some friends for lunch, saw the flea market , came in and take a look.
James : Office not paying you enough ar ? Come here moonlight ?
Belle : Haha. Yah lor. Not as well paid as you James. Haha.
I gave her a look and added.
James : Oh yah, you know how much everybody gets paid in the office.
She laughed and before her laughter died down, I saw a spare chair near the back and I dragged it closer to her and asked her a question.
I deliberately lowered my volume and tried to look serious and Belle came a little closer as she sat down.
James : Eh, seriously , how’s the business ? I’m also thinking of setting something up. You know, kind of like a passive income.
Belle : Haha, this as a passive income ? Cannot la. Haha.
She gestured the stuff she had and said it was mostly to clear junk, and she made $8 so far that afternoon.
James : My god, that’s quite bad. Haha.
Belle : Yah man, support me a little leh, buy something for your girlfriend.
James I laughed and replied politely that I’m not attached.
Belle : I don’t believe you James.
James : It’s true.
She shook her head and I could see Alex and Bert starting to browse the stalls at the start of the flea market.
I could sense the conversation dying down as Belle picked up her book so I quickly kept up.
James : How did you managed to lug all these things around ? You came alone ar ?
I saw Belle gave a sigh as she replaced her book again, I got a vibe from her that she did not want to continue the conversation further. Perhaps we don’t know each other well enough, or perhaps she wanted to be left alone.
It definitely felt like I was overstaying my welcome.
Belle : Yah, I took a cab. Ok la, can pack everything into the suitcase.
James : What if you need the toilet or something. ? This looked like a 2 man operation.
Belle : No money hire people la James, you very funny. I’ll ask the neighbouring stall to help Jaga for a while, everybody is friendly around here.
I nodded and noticed Alex and Bert taking their time.
I made a final desperate attempt at making new conversation by commenting on the amount of marathon she had run.
James : Wah, you must be hard to chase man. Look at all this.
I gestured to the array of marathon singlets and T-shirts and Belle gave a superficial giggle.
I did not know if I was being overly sensitive but she sounded a bit irritated at my constant pressing.
Belle : That was a long time ago la. I’m too old for anymore.
James : Nonsense, you don’t look a day over 25 .
She rolled her eyes at me and I could feel it wasn’t a friendly or funny one.
Belle : Nice try James . I’m a lot older than you.
James : No way. How do you know ?
Belle : I have your resume …duh .
I widened my eyes and gave a silly look.
James : Are you stalking me ? haha.
I was expecting a giggle, perhaps a friendly slap but Belle gave me a look that made me feel like I’m harassing her.
Alex and Bert arrived at Belle’s stall and I could see Belle literally staring at them.
My original plan was for the 2 good looking friends of mine to buy something, and then I could use the opportunity to chat with Belle.
First, I would make the sale to them, therefore crediting myself with the sale.
Second, I could ask Belle what kind of guys she liked, using Alex and Bert as benchmark.
Then again, My 2 friends did not have any intention of following my plan.
I stood up, straightened my top and spoke.
James : Feel free to look around, I’ll give a good price.
They ignored me and instead Alex picked up a necklace and helped Bert put it on.
I could feel Belle turning from the corner of my eye to look at me and I returned her a look. She gave me a look which told me she did not find that funny at all and I got hit with a mixture of worry and anger.
I hate it when things don’t go according to plan
I was a little lost for words when Alex spoke.
Alex : Do you think this looks good on my boyfriend ?
I did not know what to say so I said the first thing that came to my mind.
James : I think anything will look good on you 2.
Alex : Haha.. you are a sweet talker. What are you doing later. ?
That got my throat stuck and I was lost for words.
Bert came to my rescue and added.
Bert : He’s just kidding.
I was feeling a little relieve until Bert took up one of Belle’s dress and placed it on his body.
Belle must have found it so irritating that she did not even bother to look up anymore or entertain them.
I was just standing there like an idoit.
Bert smiled and replaced the dress.
Bert : I’m kidding as well. Haha
Bert : We’ll take the necklace though. How much ?
I did not know the price and Belle was about to check the tag when I blurted out.
James : $50.
Perhaps I was just pissed that things were not going to plan, I just blurted it out.
Belle cut in without looking at my 2 friends.
Belle : It’s 19.90
Alex took out 2 ten dollar bills and passed it to Belle.
My friends must have caught the vibe that something was wrong and they gave me a look and bailed out.
As they moved out of earshot, I turned to look at Belle and asked
James : Are you ok ? Shouldn’t you be happy you just sold something ?
Belle just shrugged her shoulders, hardly paying attention.
The change in plan made me lost my footing and I forgot what was my next step.
The entire situation was very awkward. It made me angry and felt like I’m a desperate loser trying to chat up a girl
Belle was usually friendly and all in office but she seemed like a different person that day.
I could feel myself losing it and I decided to make a move.
James : Ok, shall not disturb you further. I’ll make a move first.
Belle gave me a weak smile and a wave as I left the flea market.
Words could not describe my feelings.
All my planning, nothing seemed to work. I was irritated and upset, I could feel a sourish ache in my heart that felt like rejection.
It made me even more angry to know that she hardly responded to me.
Nothing, absolutely nothing was going according to my plan.
I dropped my friends a message to thank them for their help and I went back home. The more I thought about it , the angrier I got.
I should have stalked her more, find out more about her.
I know I was not supposed to do this, she is a married woman even though there seems to be some issues with her marriage but I could not help it.
The attitude made me want to fuck her even more.
Anger. It made me think harder, plot deeper.
I spent the rest of the weekend I my room, angry at myself for being such a desperate loser, yet at the same time thinking of Belle. That mix of emotions is driving me crazy.