Quote:
Originally Posted by
ah.ben
Dont be silly to die as your other related kin will be very sad like your father and mother.
Life is so precious, don’t die because of a girl! Everyone has to go through some happy and sad moment.
You must be happy at least the feeling from her to u has gone before any serious commitment like marriage or family started.
Try to look at the bright side and think that she has missed you the nice and lovely guy, can she find a better one than u? It may not right.
Take some time to rest and free yourself, sometime it is good to have freedom. U can visit any cheong place u like, call any pros or visit GL as u like. No need to report to any girl friend, find a few samters and join the fun at the pub or KTV.
How nice that I am your age, young and free to do anything. No commitment.
So, treasure what u have and what u are now. People trying to live and u want to die.
Bare in mind, your mind belong to u, u are the one to think what u want to think, everything got at least 2 faces - good and bad.
Think good GOOD READLLY GOOD ONLY GOOD and u will be GOOD.
Live long and good. u will find a better one. Set her free and if she is back and u are not attached then she will be your.
very well-said.
Thank you HuiGE and covenn for the defend.. Maybe the rest are juz trying to use the hard approach to make me wake up, make me hate her so I can let her go. I don’t think there’s much helpful ppl around here huh.. Most are so hostile towards me, and I don’t why. I haven offended them in anyway, or stepped on their tails whatsoever. Juz like covenn said, nobody’s the same, different ppl handles different situations differently..
Thanks to Ah.Ben too. But it’s easiler said than done. I’ll try to think GOOD. Thanks again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
but I’m
feeling very lost and helpless
….
This is normal….you are human…..
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
MY gf of 6 years broke up wif me , saying she wanted to be alone. I was living in hell for 3 weeks before she agreed to patch up wif me ..But ALAS, she broke off wif me again on …We had an hour long talk last night, she sounded happy, relaxed, excited at the new found single-dom. …
I think she tried to start all over with you again but the feeling just isnt there anymore as she had mentioned.
Had you been trying to control her too much till she had no private breathing space?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
Though she admitted she loved me alot alot, but it was the past, the feeling has faded. I almost cried out, but I told myself not to cry infront of her. She assured me and
my uncle
that there’s no 3rd party. She just want to be alone. Why the sudden change? I don’t understand. …
What is your uncle doing there? How old are you? I thought relationship involved 2 person only….
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
She let our r/s of 6 years go so easily! I really love her very much and I really feel like it’s end of world now. I want to die, but I can’t. I haf no mood for anything now. No one has ever made me so miserable b4, the 3 weeks of tears I’ve shed are more than wat I’ve cried when I was still young. This fall is so great, I don’t think I’ll be able to get up. The scar is so deep, I won’t accept another….
Everything is in the mind….tell yourself you can do it …then you can. It’s never easy but you won’t go anywhere if you dun try. Most ppl had several failed relationship before finally settling down….breaking up is part of life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
I don’t her to be owned by other ppl, other guys. I want her to be mine alone only. I even joked to her that if ever she’s married to another guy and she invites me to her wedding, I’ll sing Eason Chan’s Hun Li De Zhu Fu. I can’t imagine other guys, holding her hand, kiss her cheeks, etc. I’ll go MAD. I think I’ll kill the guy, kill her then kill myself. I’m serious……
Are you a possessive guy? You dun own her…..even if she marries you, you still dun own her….she is a human, not a thing…pet or etc…her life belongs to herself…you get it? Possessiveness will just make you an unhappy man. Learn to let go…your emotional burden will be lighter….
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
There’s this girl I’m very close to all along, during the 3weeks, I confided in her most of the time. She had hinted that she’ll be wif me if I asked. I feel she just wanted to help me forget her. All the more I can’t accept her,……
Never jump into an relationship to forget the former one…it’s a start on the wrong footing….wrong plaform to begin with…good you had this in mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
biker
She flew off to China this morning 10am for a week long holiday wif her sister. Women can be so heartless ya? After hurting someone she’s loved so long, still can go enjoy…
Perhaps knowing you too well that you might kill her since you can’t your-so-called “own her”, it was a sensible decision to leave the country for the time being for you cool off and let your senses retrun to your brain….. I think you need a break yourself….locking yourself in self-pity dun solve anything…you will just keep feeling miserable…while she is feeling happier each day as she chose to start a new life and get on with it. Get on your feet and start afresh…nobody can help you….we can can give you verbal consolations but end of day it’s all up to youself.
Cheer Up!!!! There’s more to life….
Moonblaze, thank you for the consoling words. My uncle is our counsellor whenever we have problems, be it our problem, or personal problem. And I didnt control her during the patch up of 4 days.. She still went out for dinner with friends, KTV on Tue and Wed.
Bigguy, no need to be so perturbed. I’m asking for opinions. I’m not pin-pointing you. I’m not put off by any of the comments, by you or any other.
Maybe I’m just looking for other alternatives to forget her. Just like posting here in SB, at least my mind will be off for a few moments.. At the same time, maybe someone here will type something here no one has typed b4 and I wake up from this? Who knows, rite?
Thank you guys for all the invaluable advice. And thanks to those who posted kind or unkind words too. And I am very disappointed at some who posted insulting, disrespectful words towards my uncle, as he helped me alot in times when I needed help. If you’re not happy with wat I posted, there’s no need for you to reply. Thank you. I really have thought of death, but like wat I typed in my 1st post, I know I cant, and I won’t. I feel abit better now. at least for now after reading so many GOOD replies. Some have alot of sense in the replies, which I sincerely think have helped me. For those who tried to spike me, try harder pls. But pls bear in mind, insulting words / intentions will only reflect badly on you. *No offences intended.*
I would like to thank all again for the effort put in. I really feel better. If I continue to live in misery, all the more she’ll look down and despise me even. So, I’m going to be stronger and prove her wrong. I’ll try. Won’t know results if I never try, agreed? I’m definitely in a clearer state of mind now compared to ytd morning.
All nice replies.. thanks all. But during my slp juz now, I dreamt of her. I woke up to find myself back to the initial stage of feeling. Kinda loser, but I’m trying to be strong, I know I’ll be lying to myself. But like wat you guys said, life has to go on. I cannot show her the weak side of mine. But it cant be helped, the feeling juz creeps out of nowhere, grips me by my neck and leaves me breathless. I really hope I will climb up / out and carry on, this feeling is so miserable, I dont wan it, it’s so bad, I never experienced before.
I think the problem is I cannot stay at home, I’ll be alone, I’ll start to think. I’ll see her belongings. But this is stil my house, I cannot run / hide from my house, from myself. This scar will be with me til I breathed my last. This is the deepest, longest scar ever. I think a counsellor or phychiatrist will help. I hope…
Just came back from dinner with my uncle.. Went to church with him just now. A place I’ve never been to for a long time. The place is so serene.. I really find that I’m more comfortable with ppl around me. I believe I’ll go church whenever I have the time for the weekly service. At least I won’t think so much. Thanks again for all the invaluable advise and experiences you guys shared with me. Really appreciate it.
Bro Tai Zi, I truly love her, esp after wat she has done to me, it juz made me realized how important she is / was to me. I haf to admit that it is oso due to the fact tat I had her for the past 6 years, a sudden lost of her seems too much for me to take too. I would say it’s both love and “habit” of used to having her around.
Bro BigGuy, no need to get into a roll becos of wat I posted. Let’s juz make this world a better place to be in (since we haf no choice but to be in it), esp SB.
For those unmentioned names / nicks, your replies did not go wasted. I really read everyone of them. Some had sense, some do not.. Nontheless, THANKS again. I believe it’ll take time for me to heal, but I do haf the rights to be sad, don’t I?
ps: I realized the one I love is the old her, not the present her. I’m so glad I realized this on my own. Juz sad, sad y she’s the one who changed. Angry, angry at wat made her changed? Lost, lost to myself. I thought I could survive w/o her, and thought she will be the one who’ll be sad.
Actually the hardest part is sleeping and waking up. Cos b4 sleep will think and think.. den will sleep late.. den will dream of her when in sleep.. den wake up late cos slept late.. den wake up still remeber the dream.. the feeling really fcuked up.. Really miss her.. the old her.. I know whatever I do now will not change anything.. but the hurt is still there in my heart. If I say I’m fine now, I’ll be lying, but I’m trying.. Really miss the old days.. Thx everybody..
Thx BigGuy. Would like to ask a very stupid question: How you guys manage to stand it, knowing tat the one u love is enjoying company of other man? esp sex? Knowing that the meat rod that is not yours is giving her the pleasure you used to give. Everytime I think of this, I wan to go mad..
Com’on guys, we’re grown ups.. dun treat pts so precious k? deduct mine if u all wan..
She’s back from China liao… Din expect a call, but she called me the moment she reached home at 715am! I was so delighted upon seeing her number appear on my mobile screen. She said she bought things for me, will be dropping later in the afternoon to pass me the things and to pack her things back to home at the same time.. I took urgent leave and stayed at home to wait for her.. We’ll be meeting for lunch later near my house b4 she somes up to pack.. Wonder wat topics will we be touching on. The feeling will be so weird. She’s so bent on leaving.. This is so not her. Even my friends (guys and gers) also agree she has changed alot. Even my friends comment that the reasons she gave are crap.
I appreciate for all the replies here. But I still hope she’ll return one day. In fact, ASAP.. I still feel the same amount of hurt , pain since 25th MAR. Yes, I know I shd move on. But I dunnoe how, I dun wan to. If I moved on, and one day she wans to return.. I’ll dunnoe wat to do. I dunwan to lose such a ger. She’s a nice ger in person. Very nice.
And thanks Jus Jeronimo for up-ing my pt..