- You claim to love your ex so much that after 6 months on knowing her you want to marry her.
- You claim that she loves you so much that she shows you photos of her parents, home etc and tells you what you should do in order to marry her.
- Then after she suddenly deleted her facebook profile, changed her HP number, deleted you from her QQ friends, you suddenly felt that she was out to con you all along:
she’s must be quite fond of you to cut you off before milking you. it happens. they have feelings and/or decency too.
i hear stories about boys like you, they’re always saying how stupid, how silly, how “in love” guys like you are with them. putting the obviou$ issue aside, some ferry them around, ferry their friends around, wash their clothes, even peel their fucking oranges!!!
so don’t worry, you’re not the most lovesick puppy out there, and she’s not the meanest bitch you’ll come across in your life. all in all you got a good deal. who knows, maybe you even owe it to her to give her 5K
The points I’m trying to make and which you simply can’t understand are the following:
(The gal and I were very close, very loving, to the extent that we were planning marriage. And yes, we had had sex many times.)
(She showed me pics of her hometown, her father, herself back in China and told me the things I had to do in order to marry her. She said I need to bring my parents to China to see her parents and hold a banquet there. As you guys, can see we were very serious.)
i)
I guess for these 6 months she was nurturing me, to get me really hooked onto her before asking for $ or material stuff.
ii)
Why resort to cheating me? I learnt from her the tricks gals use to hook men.
iii)
I think she does have some genuine feelings for me but these are ranked 2nd. Her 1st priority is to con me.
iv)
also she sent me 2 smses that hint at her hidden agenda. She said," since you already know my motive why did you pretend to be silly and continued dating me"…
another sms said,“all these while i accompanied you (socially) and 陪睡, for free, you obtained quite a bit of advantage.”
Now, let’s be objective. You loved her very much and she loved you also like you said and both of you were considering marriage. So I presume that you already knew her character and how she was like before the thought of marriage even came into your head.
However, you then said that she suddenly decided to break off completely with you and you now suspect that she was out to con you all along.
Let me be very frank and honest with you. In all your posts so far, you have never even bothered to consider whether it was anything you did intentionally or otherwise that caused her to have a change of heart. Instead you conveniently said that she cheated your feelings and was probably out to con you. Do you have any proof of this?
And now, she has suddenly added you to her QQ contacts again and is asking for 5K from you? May I ask what the heck is this 5K for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
steinbecksg
guys.. the lady just added me on QQ and asked me to transfer 5k to her bank account… My heart is being killed by her. knowing her real motive, now I can really move on thanks to her.
Hi steinberg, please move on and open your eyes n ears big big next time u meet a gal u like. If a gal is materialistic, u can spot it even if haven get into a r/s. However, as the saying goes “love is blind” which u’ll be blinded if u r head over heels about her.
Thus always approach a r/s wif a open heart n rational mind, never ever jump into it coz time will let u know if the gal is really serious about u. If u r not rich but has aspirations to make life good, even if u r very poor now, a gal who’s able to see tat will go thru thick n thin wif u. Not easy but will come by if u persevere
Since you put it that way, ignore her request and move on with what you have left and start anew. Closure and ignore. No 5k, no compensation. Just you now.
bro darklord… do u understand the psychology of a guy deeply in love?
imagine a guy deeply in love with a gal.. and someone tells him:“the gal is trying con you.” do u think the guy would listen? NO WAY! The guy would be strongly denying such a possibility and that someone would get a roasting.
It is the same for me. I, more than anyone, hate to state that my ex was out to con me. I was extremely resistant to the idea because I loved her so deeply. Even though there were obvious red flags that signaled she had ulterior motives, I was in denial. I kept jumping to her defence in my mind. I would analyse a suspicious thingy to the dead and tell myself:“no she is not like that. she is true to me.” To finally wake up to the dreaded fact that she did not love me but was out to con me caused me a lot of pain.
so don’t worry.. i did not wrong an innocent gal. Like what newbieboy had said, it is likely she found that I was sincere and treated her so damm well she decided to drop me without milking me.
When she was sleeping over at my place, I was afraid of disturbing her sleep, that i slept on the floor or sat by her side. The sight of her sleeping so contently made my heart melt. Though she told me I should instruct her to do housework because it is a gal’s duty according to her, i did not.. i did all the chores on my own, cooked for her and washed the dishes. I loved her so much i can’t bear to let her do the slightest chore in my house.
Sigh… when we were together, she remarked i would make a good husband, that i was a good man. after she dumped me, she insulted me repeatedly over QQ, calling me a bad man. Quite absurd huh? I tolerated all her insulted and did not retaliate although some of the insults were really abhorrent. She called my mother an old prostitute, called me a mad man, called me a poor man…
though we knew each other for only 6 months, she kept pressing for marriage. I told her we need to get to know each other better but she persisted. also when we had sex, she seemed to be very eager to get pregnant. I asked to ejaculate outside her body but each time she would get me to do inside her. And she lied to me once she was pregnant, that she got the kid aborted.
I didn’t take advantage of her. I really loved her.. sex is the natural progression of love. And before some of u guys think that she is a tall, model standard chiobu, she is not. she is 1.58m tall and she is not fair. she is only average, definitely not a head turner.
I loved her.. I really do and i still do… but she has finally shattered the trust in me. I cannot guarantee i will not capitulate if she tugged at my weak spot. But I have become a lot more sceptical and cynical about her. It will not be easy for her to manipulate me again.
But on second thoughts, I really love her so much, if she is willing to come back to my side, i am willing to consider forgetting and forgiving the unpleasant past and start anew with her. I am not a playboy.
What has PRC got anything to do with it? That’s stereotyping at best and racist at worst. Couples breakup all the time. To be honest, how can a girl, irrespective of whether PRC or not, love a guy who doubts her sincerity, motives and character? I don’t mean to sound harsh, but if I were her, I’d run away as well.
Bro, who has not been deeply in love before? But you are nuts if you fuck your gf without a condom and you are seriously nuts if you really want to get together with her again after all that has happened.
Anyway, this is your life. And since you are already old enough to make your own decision, do whatever you please. Just don’t come back and start another thread saying how you got cheated of your money after marrying her.
The exchange between TS and darklord really amuses me.
It’s as clear as day that TS has got NO IDEA about love and relationships. And we have tons of other folks trying to help explain his situation. Already, from this case we already can see it’s a case of fish outsmarting the fisherman. Yet TS still denies being a fisherman, and goes to the extreme to prove that he is really looking for pure love and blah. It’s obvious that TS is BLINDED by his own opinions and doesn’t care less about others except to whine about it.
And we have here darklord trying to telling him what’s going on to the extent that even I felt pissed off with TS’s response to DL.
Wake up TS, with your mentality, you will never be able to succeed in ANYTHING.
One thing, don’t bother to reply me. I’m not keen to reply back. I’m only posting this here because I cannot log in to the other forum.