Since I’ve written a fair bit ahead, why not?
Anybody minds another update? Let me know?
—————
gog: I’m sure you can do it, don’t give up, it’s only 3 more.
B(ernice): I’m tired, mentally. It’s very painful and tiring.
gog: Your kids, you cannot give up on them.
B: I know but… I’m really tired. At the 5th one I already contemplating stopping. You won’t understand…
gog: Actually, I do.
Bernice looked up at me when I mentioned that. I shared about a loved one, being eaten away by the same illness. How the battle was fought to the last drop of blood before all was gone.
A good 15 - 20 years still is left even in the worst case scenario. Bernice still has a long way to go in life. Remission is real and possible, so she has nothing to worry.
gog: If you don’t mind, I can go with you for the remaining treatments.
B: You don’t ha-
gog: Shut up.
I remembered saying that because… shit happened after I said that.
Tears rolled down her face one after another. She was holding back still.
gog: Nobody, deserves this. This… this… illness is so bad that I won’t even wish it upon my enemies.
B: Why you can understand and be so nice, but he cannot.
Uh-oh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fwchong
I have a close friend of mine taking leave to bring his wife for treatment going through the up and down with her.
That is why I can understand why B feel this way as other hubby can sacrifice their job or time and why not her hubby…
Co-incidentally, there is a korean drama showing the a character with the same issue as B right now. How she has to go through treatment in USA, going through depression and returning back to Korea to reboot her life and is a struggle for her…
If other bro want to know what a lady goes through during this period, this korean drama depict some of real life drama. we can appreciate those who really love us to go through together….
https://asianwiki.com/Love_Next_Door
Show is a bit dramatic but the support and pain is real.
It’s not about the money, but being there alone in a room full of death unknown one day you’ll just be with the rest, is quite scary. Walking alone into the hospital with nobody with you. You coming out or not also nobody knows.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lipe
No worries on timeline.
Just continue with your story.
BLUE BALLS or no BLUE BALLS your story is captivating.
I try to blue
but can start posting more already, will start to flood a bit until I stop writing then ration again
Good day all… a bit of heavy hearted sharing. Based on what I remembered from our chat that day as it also cuts me when Bernice shared.
————-
-—— Splitting up her rants, accompanied by my thoughts that day, so that it’s easier to read ——-
B(ernice): Do you know he didn’t help me at all? He earn more than me but never once asked if I needed help or what.
And guys complain that their wives don’t give them sex.
B: He even say I’m not working, can send the kids and pick the kids from school. I tell him I have treatment some days then he wasn’t happy.
Guys, if you treat your wife like this, don’t be shocked she is in bed with your friend or somebody close, enjoying. No, she is not upset. She will be enjoying herself. Or the friend or somebody will be definitely enjoying. Either way, it won’t be you enjoying.
B: I am in so much pain and tired after treatment then he always say I’m not helping or thinks I’m joking. It’s expensive and painful.
gog: I can help a bit with the expenses.
Bernice smiled a bit and dabbed her eyes with tissue again at the mention of that.
B: It’s okay, my insurance paid out that’s why I can take a year off to rest as well. Luckily for insurance else I don’t know how.
Yes, I called up my insurance agent not long after. Buy adequately. Insurance is for your family and loved ones, not to keep you alive. It’s to keep them alive after you’re gone.
gog: Just let me know if you need help.
B: Thanks, even you can understand, but he never does. He always more on the selfish side of things and likes to put people down.
Now coming back to this. I think he underestimated Bernice. Her resilence is pretty strong and she is mentally strong too, just that the process of treatment is wearing her down as well as her will to continue.
Bernice has been left alone to handle everything. It can get weary, and tiring that way. Without emotional support, even the strongest physical person will be worn away like rust eats iron.
It was sad watching Bernice cry and unwittingly, pour out her pain and sorrows to me. She needed a ear, and I lent her mine.
gog: I’m sure he didn’t mean it, he just doesn’t know how to help you. To him maybe it’s just like a flu, a long term one. He won’t know what you’re going through.
B: Lucky I got you as a friend.
gog: When’s your next treatment?
B: 3 week’s time. I just completed one last week. Now putting on weight again.
gog: I’ll accompany you, let me know your schedule? I’ll pick you up and go with you.
B: Huh… no la, parking at Novena is so expensive.
Okay, now I know where she is seeing doc… no wonder her treatment is not cheap, private.
gog: So what? Even if go 10x with you, it’s only a few hundred dollars. Money is not the issue here. Issue is I don’t want you to go alone. It’s just 3 times more.
B: Sigh, even you can understand this, but he says it’s expensive, so he drops me there sometimes and then I go back myself.
And people complain their wives are unfaithful. Look at your own actions, the way you treat your wife. Stop complaining folks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
gotnotime
Wa lao the husband really deserves what’s cumming from gog liao lor.
I’m just merely repeating what was shared with me back then. Not exactly word for word but based on memory, I rebuild the words and scenarios.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shenlong
This story is getting serious.
seriously real.
Sorry bro, I don’t get your comment? Can elaborate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
junior_cannibal
Whatever the reason that her husband behaved like that, only they or he knew. As outsider, we only got to hear one side of the story.
There are bound to have assholes that neglect our ill treat their partners. I once knew a ATB who stayed in private property, married a Singaporean, had a young son. Yet she needed to work as a sales manager in a boutique as the husband wouldn’t give her money. Later she told me there were some old men who would date her, bought her gifts and she would return in kind by sleeping with them.
Wasn’t sure if her husband still slept with her, if so, he’s sharing her pussy with many cocks.
Anyway, whatever the reason why Bernice hubby behaved like that, she’s the mother of their children, the least he could do was to show some care and concern.
You didn’t realise I don’t really reply to Bernice on her comments but I only share more on my personal thoughts and feeling on this?
Usually I lend an ear but I don’t lend my heart, as in I don’t add oil, add seasoning, add vegetables and meat to fry it up. The decision is always left to the party in pain, I usually only support them in the aspect of their decision made eventually.
I don’t encourage people to break, or curse the husband so as to bed the lady. Revenge fucks can go pretty wrong in this sense.
Whether Bernice eventually used sex to close deals or gain gratification for her needs it’s her doing, I won’t judge. She has needs also, she’s human. So nothing to judge.
What happens in her family is also hers to bear and manage. Only she can make the decision, nothing else. That said, everybody wants a support, a comfort. Simple hug can provide a lot of support; physical pleasure can release endorphins and give happiness.
After a while even transactional based sex like the ATB can be fulfilling to them. Humans are just wired this way.
Sorry for the late reply all.
———
gog: You just need to hang on, exercise and keep yourself fit. The treatment will weaken your body, you need to strengthen yourself to undergo the treatment.
B(ernice):But after the treatment I really feel horrible and tired the next day.
gog: Aiyah, not immediate la. Rest 1-2 days then you must start exercising. Build up resistance and body. Strong body, strong mind.
Bernice smiled a bit more and no tears were dripping. I’m kind of glad I managed to make her smile and also listened to her complains. Getting them off her chest surely feels good.
Weird though, she chose me to tell me about all these. I’m just a customer.
gog: Eat up.
B: Sorry, think not safe to share food.
gog: Yeah you take first, whatever you can’t finish, I’ll eat.
The treatment causes low immunity for the person. Any wrong move, might result in catastrophic reaction. So it’s better not to share food or anything. Not that I’ll catch the illness, but my body might have some viral in it and it can seriously cause her to fall sick further.
B: Thanks for listening to me.
It was a good 3 hours+. Her unhappiness with her husband, her two cute kids, how she is surviving with her insurance payouts.
She shared about considering therapy with husband. But her husband refused to go. Church, commercial therapy alike, avoided it like the plague.
Bernice contemplated leaving the marriage but decided against it as tongues will wag and also church will not really want it also. Her children are also growing up, she’s concerned for them.
gog: Remember to keep fit. Drink more water. Treatment is heaty, flush out all the drugs and keep yourself hydrated.
That was my last advice to Bernice before we parted. The next time we meet, will be treatment day #8.
*DING*
After I turned out the carpark, Bernice messaged me.
B: Thanks for listening. Thanks for the lunch. Thanks for accompanying me. Sorry to hold you up.
gog: If I get a dollar for the ’thanks’ and ‘sorry’. I will be very rich. Cheer up. Will support you all
the way.
And yes, folks, don’t TEXT and DRIVE!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shenlong
Well, the plot on how some men took extreme measures to ignore the problem. This is extremely real.
Though the story went to a more serious tone, the realism adds depth and triggered and invoke the multi layered feelings of being human.
It’s as real as it gets. Not everyone will have chance to experience this. And those who saw or experienced first hand inadvertently relive the realism of the story.
Ah yes, thanks for elaborating.
This is what i remember from back then. Sharing is easy when you experience it. Hearing it first hand makes me understand why some ladies eat out.
Men eat out because mostly for variety and lack of it at home. Women break the rules because they are always indirectly being pushed out by the men themselves.
Taking this opportunity to also share awareness that sometimes the little things in life that become a norm is a red flag even if wife or gf don’t complain. By then they already accepted it. Not saying all will eat out but… ladies being the emotional creatures will be easily targeted and lured away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fwchong
are you able to share a bit what Bernice husband behaviour was like when Bernice share if
If money is no issues for him and why he choose to let Bernice go through it alone…
From the insurance payout, we can see that this is once off and that means that afterwards, Bernice cannot be eligible for any insurance protection in the future.
Once an insurance pay out, it means that it is quite serious….
Curious to know if Bernice is still alive today ?
The MCP term, I coined it up based on what Bernice shared.
Her husband is rather condescending in most sense, it’s like Bernice is below him. Not worthy on par, Bernice was more of a vase for him as a flower. Meaning it’s like he complements her. Without him Bernice is nothing.
Eg if Bernice sells Toyota, her husband will smite Toyota brand and say it’s bad, and tell people he selling Honda, it’s better. Or Bernice says something wrong and he reacts negatively, telling her off infront of relatives or friends.
He’s like a disciplinarian more than a husband, in my opinion. I’m upset he doesn’t respect Bernice appropriately as a wife and person. Of course I can only share these here and not go around talking about it in person (thanks for forum anonymity).
He probably waited for Bernice to voice her happiness about the monetary issue before offering or likely begrudgingly sponsor her for treatment. He is the type that you need to push to get something. Bernice just chose not to knowing he will go around telling people he helped, he paid for it etc. His pride is higher than Eiffel Tower.
I remember Bernice telling me about the parking fees at Novena. His explanation for not accompanying is that the parking is very expensive. 10 visits will cost hundreds.
Alamak once a month. 3-4 hours. $10-15 or so only, got so calculative? 10 visits $150 la, can? Like that also want to calculate. That kind of situation and your wife is already in pain, your concern is money. Seriously? When you see someone lying on the deathbed, I assure you even if your most favorite possession worth $100B at that point of time, you won’t think 2x giving it up to get the person back. He…
As for payout, it is determined by doctor on the severity and the policy coverage. She can get other coverage but those related to it or extended from it will not be covered. Insurance are assholes but not so assholes.
She is around still, the breakup is inevitable of course, nothing lasts forever. Will share in the end. If I don’t, remind me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Freacher
“Insurance are assholes but not so assholes.” - actually mother of all assholes.
True la… like my car insurance, but for hers, I’m glad it sorted out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
terwong
I have always maintained it is one of life’s enduring mysteries why insurers are not subjected to gaming taxes.
In truth, they operate no differently from casinos and gaming operators, but are somehow viewed favourably due to the positive spin synonymous with it.
Haha didn’t mean to start another bag of worms here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fwchong
wow…from your comment below…
That kind of situation and your wife is already in pain, your concern is money. Seriously? When you see someone lying on the deathbed, I assure you even if your most favorite possession worth $100B at that point of time, you won’t think 2x giving it up to get the person back. He…
it shows that this husband is really an asshole…I dont think he treat her as a wife, more like a maid to bring the kids around..I wont be surprise if he also fool around while the wife is in pain…
Glad to know that Bernice is a strong will person and alive…good to know…cheer you on…
I won’t say if he is one or not, but I just don’t like the way Bernice was treated, as a friend or outsider, I feel Bernice wasn’t dealt fairly. He should be supporting her, but he behaved like it’s another bout of flu.
It’s amazing how some people can get trophy wives in a way and then treat them as a stepping stone.
Good morning all.
Hope everybody has a good day.
-————————–
>>> Fast Forward >>>
Nothing eventful the next 2+ weeks. I managed to message Bernice.
gog: So, it’s this Friday, right? What time?
B(ernice): I can go alone.
gog: 1pm? I’ll pick you from your place at 11? We go lunch?
B: I’m staying with my in-laws for now. They will cook. You can pick me at 2.15pm. I’ll be at XX, Mergo Road. The appointment is 3pm.
Great… now I have to eat lunch myself. Sigh, there goes my hope of getting a handjob before her treatment.
Time passed… and before I knew it, it was friday.
gog: I’m on the way, see you.
B: Can you park slightly further away from the unit, don’t park outside. I’ll walk over.
Erm. Feels weird, but always good to avoid any misunderstandings. Not like we’re doing anything WRONG.
gog: I’m here.
No response. I was parked about 4 units away. I know for a fact, that the unit I’m watching, should be Bernice’s in-laws'.
I saw the gate move and Bernice came out in a white shirt, and jeans. She closed the gate and walked towards me. She waved ‘hi’ gently.
Started the engine and inched closer so she didn’t have to walk much.
Bernice walked abit more until I was next to her and she boarded the car.
gog: He is at home?
B: No… he wanted to send me, I told him I will take a cab. He was more than happy to go work.
gog: Kids?
B: My in-laws will take care of them.
Bernice’s face was not really white washed, but I can see her anxiousness. I can’t imagine the pain she has to go through later. I hope I never do as well.
It was a quiet ride. I played some Christian music for her, hoping it can bring her some peace. She seemed more relaxed.
Parked and she got out. She was shaking slightly. Evidently she was reluctant. Despite all my encouragement and being there with her, she really doesn’t want to go for treatment.
Don’t know why, I went over to her and without saying a word, I hugged her in the carpark. She held on to me and hugged tightly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mbhavana
Although this is a sex forum, I felt really touched reading about how you hugged her… You are definitely a gentleman
Hugging is often a norm for ang mohs I guess. For Chinese and Singaporeans, we don’t use hugs to express our support or gratitude. Over there hugging is norm, over here people will ’eeee, they hugging’ or ’eh he trying to feel my body'.
So I don’t know why I did that. I guess I could feel the fear in her and wanted to help make it better. Not sure if it’s other girls they would slap me already.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JBlunt
Correction. He is a good-looking gentleman.
Eh no.. I a bit plump and not handsome, but I got feedback from ladies I’m a damn good listener. I also tend to notice the small little things which they like.
Definitely, also a gentleman
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DaisyGanPluto
He wants to feel her soft pillows la hahaha
KNN leh you all lol.. of course I want, but that time, I didn’t, there are times I hug other girls is to feel the softness and also touch the bra band.
You can say it’s cheap thrill, but touching and physical contact is what I like…
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fwchong
Proxy husband…
I also want to know how to make love to a woman who has been through such kind of medical treatment as most of the time, sex is the lowest agenda…
It didn’t happen bro, not here and maybe not for the rest of the story.