Quote:
Originally Posted by
yinyang
Can relate. But often than not, we cannot have our cake and eat it.
Will pass (I think)… any plan B as it’s close to eob now?
ha ha.. just some ranting that is all. this world is not perfect so we have to live with its imperfections
Plan B is just to get some hole to screw and release.. easily done. Just did that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
infinitiumus
ha ha I know I know.. but Sue is really a long shot.. signals are encouraging but sometimes we can read it wrongly..
Can easily date her next week. It is ok to be patient although as much we would like to rush it.
Again, I am starting to have doubts if I should continue to pursue Sue, knowing that I could hurt a sweet and innocent girl in the process of bedding her..
So I rather be patient and take things slowly..
hmm.. in that case, why u never considered her seriously as a partner rather than a conquest?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Spud_Boy
hmm.. in that case, why u never considered her seriously as a partner rather than a conquest?
ha ha in life it is much more complicated than that. Being in love and sleep together is one thing. A partner for life is another thing. Don’t confuse the two.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
infinitiumus
ha ha in life it is much more complicated than that. Being in love and sleep together is one thing. A partner for life is another thing. Don’t confuse the two.
quite true though.. all 3 different stuff.. well, it’s never easy finding all 3 factors in 1 person.. it’s making do with what u have..
Quote:
Originally Posted by
infinitiumus
ha ha.. just some ranting that is all. this world is not perfect so we have to live with its imperfections
Plan B is just to get some hole to screw and release.. easily done. Just did that.
Sigh,.. I guess that’s what happens when the cookie crumbles…
Quote:
Originally Posted by
infinitiumus
ha ha in life it is much more complicated than that. Being in love and sleep together is one thing. A partner for life is another thing. Don’t confuse the two.
I think as most senior bros here say - sometime it is better that just pay n get it done with…
Do understand your feeling of not wanting 2 hurt another fellow human… I did my fair share and sometime do feel bad when i think about it… But too bad that a lot of time, a lot of decisions are ruled by emotions or worse lust…
Nevertheless, it is great following your life stories - much better than TV drama serial… Carol, SYT and Sue - following closely all your threads…
Can’t wait to read all your happenings on daily basis…
Just to let all know more about me. I am actually a very ordinary man, in my 40 and have stable job with good income. I spent easily about a few Ks a month on sexual activities. I am not good looking of any sort - average height and weight (read 1.7+ M, 70+ KG) with a tummy as most middle-aged man has. Nothing remarkable about me. I have no OCs to bother me, I am free to do what I want - except to bring girls to my house and marriage is out of question.
So, how can I possibly date sweet young things? That is the most puzzling question. I used to be so self-conscious of my age when I was with young girls until one of my ex-fb said she didn’t even think about the age and the most important thing was that we are both happy for the moments we are together. I can tend to be a little over-protective over them, even sometimes the boyfriends that they went out with - but always as a concerned “uncle”, nothing more. But mostly I am easy going, comforting them when they needed a shoulder, partying with them when they needed me, fetching them when they called in the middle of the night, sending them home when they were drunk or at times just chatting with them till the day break. Some of these girls I gave them money because that was how we started; some stopped taking money from me but still I gave them on at adhoc basis or other times I will give them presents or take them out for shopping.
So I have been hopping from one girl to another and in between there would always be commercial sex for me: GL, HC, thai, local FL, PRC etc etc. this is because even as my FB, these girls are not exclusive to me. Some of them have boyfriends (but was neglected), others have more than one FBs. The only type of girls I don’t touch: young girls less than 18 years of age or married women. Mostly I target women from 20 to 30.
And now suddenly I found myself without a regular FB. The last was Carol. The girl before carol (that is another story) decided to stop because her boyfriend was back from overseas and she was feeling guilty. Some lasted like for just a few fucks, some lasted for more than 2 years.
So as I set out to find another FB, I began to ask myself where I will be heading to. But at times I tell myself that life is short and I won’t have many more years to enjoy the sex as I can now. One of my friends suggested I “bao” women. I don’t like the very idea. He was telling me that “baoing” a PRC is cheap.
I don’t like the idea of “baoing” because that would mean it is exclusive to me and if it is exclusive to me, it means mutually exclusive as well. So the girl I baoed cannot sleep with another guy and to be fair I wouldn’t sleep around as well. This is too restrictive and I don’t have all the time in the world to stick with one girl. And to bao in this manner, the sex would get monotonous. And in my personal opinion, PRC grils suck at sex. By and large, they are very realistic and their motivation is to extract the maximum out of out. I prefer local girls, still find that they are the best in terms of GF feel when you find the genuine ones. the only problem is that we have to be discreet as mostly they wouldn’t want to be seen in public.
So much for the digression
So yesterday night I took Sue for dinner. I brought her to this German eatery in Yio Chu Kang road. Nothing fancy but just to enjoy the time with her. We spoke at great length and eventually I decided to tell her about Carol.
Me: “You know Carol well right?”
Sue: “Yes.. quite well”
Me: “Did carol tell you about me?”
Sue: “No.. never. I don’t know you knew each other till that day we met at the pantry”
Me: “Ok after that.. did she tell you anything?”
Sue: “No.. why?”
I took a deep breath.
Me: “OK.. I am going to tell you something but …”
I paused, searching for the right words.
Sue: “Ok.. what is it about?”
Me: “It is regarding me and Carol”
Sue: “Ok.. i am willing to listen”
My tone was serious and Sue was looking intently at me. I didn’t know why but suddenly I felt a sense of closeness to her that I thought I can lay my heart to her.
Me: “As you know, Carol was divorced..”
Sue: “Yes, I know that”
Me: “I as well.. in the same boat as her”
Sue: “Oh.. I don’t know that.. sorry.. can’t tell cos you are ever so cool and happy”
Me: “Well, we guys hide all our emotions inside. We hide in our caves when we are down. We don’t bring them to the office”
Sue: “Ok.. I can understand.. want to tell me more”
Me: “Mine is complicated, tell you about it some other time.. for now I just want to tell you about me and Carol”
Sue: “Ok..”
Me: “You know, or perhaps not.. I knew Carol 8 years ago when she just joined the company. "
Sue: “oh.. i didn’t know that”
Me: “ha ha.. back then Carol was a bit over-weight.. She actually fancy me then.. but I was then happily married.. and I took no attention of her”
Sue was nodding her head.
Me: “Then we met recently and being in the stage we are.. some sparks flew and we ended up…”
Sue: “.. together?”
Me: “not actually.. She sort of confided in me about her marriage.. getting a bit emotional.. we had some drinks.. emotionally charged.. and we ended up in a hotel”
Sue “Oh dear”
Me: “I am sorry but Carol is really a nice girl. And I don’t want to hurt her. So I told her that the sex was a mistake because I told her I could not get into a relationship with her”
Me: “But still we meet frequently and ended up as FB”
Sue: “What is FB?”
I moved closer to her and whispered in her ears:
“Fuck Buddy”
Sue: “Oh..”
I thought I saw her blushed and she was giggling. Then there was silence.
.. to be continued..
Yes, there was a long silence and I looked into her eyes. She was shying away. The atmosphere was a bit tense and I wasn’t sure if I had used the wrong words. But I knew I didn’t want to lie about my relationship with Carol. That is me. I rather be frank and direct with a woman.
Me: “Sue.. u ok?”
Sue: “Ok..”
Me: “Why so quiet now?”
Sue: “hmm… don’t know what to say”
Me: “Ok.. why don’t I tell you a joke?”
Me: “What type of mushrooms we can eat?”
I saw her trying to think..
Sue: “wait huh.. what type.. can eat type lah..”
Me: “try harder”
Sue: “don’t know.. i fail biology”
Me: “All types”
Sue: “You sure? thought some are poisonous?”
Me: “Yes some are poisonous.. but still we can eat”
Sue: “Poisonous…. how to eat?”
Me: “Ha ha still can eat.. only difference is you are dead after eating”
Sue broke into a laughter and she was laughing quite loudly and she almost choke on her saliva. And her right hand was grabbing onto my hand and squeezing it.
Then she took a sip of water and let go of my hand. I didn’t know if her grabbing of my hand was intentional or just an instinctive action.
Sue: “Can I ask you something..”
Me: “Yeah .. shoot”
Sue was looking at me shyly and then:
Sue: “What is a FB. I mean why FB and not lover or ?”
Me: “ha ha why you want to know”
Sue: “I heard about it but always wonder why would any girl want to be FB.. won’t they lose out?”
Me: “Ok.. it is a bit complicated. OK for guys you know lah… the concept of FB cos guys can separate sex from love..”
Sue: “yes.. that I understand”
Me: “For girls a little complicated but there are already many emancipated girls who view sex as something to be enjoyed.. and not necessary for love.. in that sense it is not something different from what girls like to do..”
Sue: “is it.. I always thought sex is for doing with the one you love..”
Me: “Yes, that is probably the traditional way of thinking. Mostly girls who are not exposed will think that way.. but for some when they are sexually awake.. they will not think like that”
Sue: “Sexually awake?”
Me: “Yes, I mean a lot of girls don’t enjoy sex because they think it is just their duty as a girl friend/wife to do it.. not because it gives them pleasure.. so to them sex is a chore.. not an activity to enjoy”
Sue: “Yes.. i am like that too”
Me: “But once you are able to be sexually-awaken.. once you can enjoy sex as it is.. then you may want more.. just sex for sex-sake.. not for love”
Sue: “Really difficult to think in that manner… for me”
Me: “Can I ask you a personal question?”
Sue: “yes..”
Me: “You had sex before right”
She didn’t answer but nodded her head.
Me: “Did you enjoy it?”
Sue “Not really.. "
Me: “ha ha.. quite normal.. you are not awaken yet”
Sue: “I don’t know.. to be .. like most girls.. we do it cos boyfriend asked for it… I rather prefer the closeness than the sex.. I mean the sex itself not much feeling.. a bit pain.. but not much joy..”
Me: “Don’t you even have an orgasm?”
Sue: “No.. not from having sex.. err.. orgasm yes.. by myself ..”
Me: “As in masturbation?”
Sue turned her head and I must say she was really shy to talk so much about the sex and masturbation. She nodded her head.
Me: “I am sorry to ask you personal question. ha ha.. Do you think I am a pervert trying to lay you and lead you on?”
Sue: “No.. no.. you are very nice.. actually I don’t talk about such things.. even with my ex… and never with any guy.. so I feel a bit pai sei.. but ok.. you are ok.. I mean the way we talk..
Me: “Actually you are wrong. I am a very bad man.. Dirty old man.. wolf in sheep-skin.. you just didn’t see the real me yet”
Sue: “No lah.. no lah.. "
Me: “ha ha pulling your legs lah.. "
Sue: “Now can i ask you a personal question as well?”
Me: “Yes.. shoot”
Sue: “Do you think guys find me attractive.. I mean as in sexually-attractive”
Me: “Yes of course… err.. at least I find you attractive, sexually that is”
Sue: “in what ways? cos my girl friend told me I am lao tu always wrapped all wrapped up”
Me: “Ha ha.. that is the beauty.. wrapped up means what is concealed is more interesting.. ha ha”
Sue: “Is that so.. she always ask me to dress a bit more sexily.. but I am very self-conscious..”
Me: “Self-conscious of what”
Sue: “Cos I got small boobs.. I am am very worried and self-conscious”
Me: “Ok.. don’t worry. Sexuality is about confidence.. not about boobs size”
Sue: “Is it.. I have no confidence leh..”
Me: “It takes time.. when we got time I’ll tell you more..”
Sue: Ok.. thanks”
It was getting late and I saw sue took a peek at her watch.
Me: “Getting late.. you have to go?”
Sue: “Yeah.. but ok lah.. been nice talking to you. In the office you are normally very serious and cool.. but I find it nice and refreshing to talk to you. Learn a lot of things. Me a mountain tortoise. Really nice.. need to learn more from you”
Me: “don’t say that. It is my pleasure. We can have another date right?”
sue: “yes, dinner anytime”
Me: “How about besides dinner.. "
sue: “what do you mean?”
Me: “I mean.. mm.. other than dinner we can do other things together”
Sue: “Like what.. don’t tell me you want to ask me go…”
Me: “Go where, can you guess what I am thinking”
Sue: “Go hotel?”
Me: “ha ha no lah.. You dirty girl.. I was thinking of asking you to go outdoor.. I like to take some picture of you.. outdoor.. cos I find your look is really refreshing..”
Sue: “opps.. must be too much talk about sex.. you brain-wash me already”
Sue: “Take photos huh? I am shy leh.. Not photogenic leh.”
Me: “Not to worry lah.. just relax.. if you don’t want.. I can take it naturally.. you like botanical gardens.. been there?”
Sue: “Actually no.. never been there..”
Me: “I arrange ok.. bring you to botanical garden.. we go there for picnic”
Sue: “yeah.. haven’t done picnic for ages..”
.. to be continued..
I don’t know what you guys think. Actually if I have asked her to go hotel, I was thinking she will say yes. But somehow I am not ready. Shucks. I really got reservation about bedding her.. so I prolonged the process
Quote:
Originally Posted by
infinitiumus
I don’t know what you guys think. Actually if I have asked her to go hotel, I was thinking she will say yes. But somehow I am not ready. Shucks. I really got reservation about bedding her.. so I prolonged the process
Maybe….she reply “sakura? fuji?”
A little more diversion
It has been a couple of years since I was in my current situation - a marriage on the rocks and with me neither here not there. I have dated some girls but mostly SG girls or other girls after a few dates would asked a lot of questions about my personal life - what what was I doing for a living, where do I live, who in my family.. etc etc.. I can’t blame them as sometimes they look at me as a potential partner although up front when I dated them I told them straight that marriage is out of question. Still they tried but after a few dates it will naturally die a natural death.
Mostly, I haven’t even touch them yet let alone have sex with them. But having sex with them is not my only intention - I am finding a companion, in fact multiple companions to do things together (including sex) and in this sin city, it is really a tough challenge to find one.
So I ended up hunting for girls just to fuck. This is easy especially if I am willing to pay. And I find paying for sex is good because at times because there are not messy business to clean up.
And yet, after the debacle with Carol it really sets me thinking. And now with Sue - this really sweet and innocent girl, I really don’t have the heart to just fuck her.. and yet, I am lusting for her deep inside.. and somehow I am so worried that I would reach my destination too soon (and it will end pretty soon) and that is why I am trying to go slower.. maybe it will give me a bit more time to collect my thoughts.