Hi Bro Tomahawk, just by reading your story above, I can also feel the pain in my heart, especially when Lan said: “You don’t come to Saigon, no problem. Then I no call you and sms you”!!!!!
It must have been very sad and painful for you at the airport, especially when you have lied to your Queen that you were on an overseas trip due to work!!
Anyway, I’ve been following your story very closely and I felt that all brothers can learn from your lesson as below:
a) Vietnamese girls are never satisfied. Lan asked for a battery handphone charger, then later ask for a handphone. Next she’ll probably ask for a computer so that she can chat with you and other people, including other men on the internet.
b) Vietnamese girls think that we foreigners are the ticket for them to get away from their poverty and country. Once I was whisked off by a Vietnamese syt to see her parents the moment I touch down at the airport, eventhough I only met her a few times at a Joo Chiat pub. I guess we foreigners are considered a "
Ji Ping
" in Vietnam and they can’t wait to show us off to their parents and friends. But why should we play along with them?!!
c) As I mentioned in my earlier posts, you’ll never know what they are doing behind your back in Vietnam. If you can cheat them, so can they. But they are experts when it comes to making you part with your hard-earned cash, or toying around with your feelings. But at least you managed to bonk her a few times, so I guess you didn’t
lugi
that much also.
d) Lan even returned all the photos back to you. This means that she is determined to break all contacts with you, and she can then hook up with other unmarried men!!!
e) I’m glad that you have emerged stronger after this episode. But I have a hunch that the same thing will happen to you again the next time you met a sexy syt again. When will you ever learn to “hit and run”?!!!
f) As I mentioned in my earlier posts, we will need to eventually return to my Queen and baby at the end of the day. Sadly I didn’t read anything about you buying gifts from Vietnam for your family, nor do I read about you feeling guilty to your family. How can this be!!!!!
g) I’m sure you’ll still feel hurt by this episode. But life goes on. Never give up an entire forest because of 1 tree. Besides, you still have a Queen and baby that loved you deeply, and very much dependent on you for support.
Lastly, Bro Tomahawk, thank you very much for your very touching story. Like they say, "
love is blind
" and "
short pain is better than long pain
“. Anyway, I wish you all the best, to you and your family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tomahawk
Now, given a chance, how could I have made Lan my FB right in the beginning? It seems that given the circumstances, I had no choice but to make Lan my gf, and I had to lie that I was single in order to be able to secure some bonks. How differently should I have approached her in the beginning?
There is always a line to be drawn if you intend to further the r/s or just a sweet holiday. From the start, you were assuming that she could be a GF material, instead of just a FB or fling. Otherwise, you won’t have put it so much effort, time and money to maintain and continue the r/s.
Unless you looking to increase your investment on her even further, otherwise this is the best and sweetest ending you could get. Just imagine if she accepted your marital status but demanded even more attention, time and money? How would you manage your time, attention, emotion, financial and responsibility equally well on both sides? Would you risk your family happiness for her?
If you get a chance to return to Vietnam or any other poorer country, continue to explore further beyond the WL venue, I am sure you will find plenty more LAN. The storyline will be about same and soon you will realised these are all just part of the game and you got to play the game by its rules. That is to enjoy the sweetness of the moment while you can and give up when time reached.
Hello haha_123, let me respond to your points one by one. A couple of corrections are in order.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
It must have been very sad and painful for you at the airport, especially when you have lied to your Queen that you were on an overseas trip due to work!!
No lah. I didn’t feel any pain at all, because I knew that I was only playing a trick on Lan mah. I was sure that both Lan and I would be happy to see each other when we met.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
a) Vietnamese girls are never satisfied. Lan asked for a battery handphone charger, then later ask for a handphone. Next she’ll probably ask for a computer so that she can chat with you and other people, including other men on the internet.
No. Lan never asked for a handphone charger. In fact, right from the beginning, Lan didn’t ask for anything at all. She brought me to that unnamed hotel on my first trip, and she didn’t ask for money. She didn’t take the wallet that I had left on the dressing table as I had my bath. Even on the last day, during that tearful farewell at the airport, she didn’t ask for anything. I bought the battery and charger for her on my own accord, because I knew her old phone was giving problems. The strange thing is that even though I made it clear I was only giving her these accessories, she thought, or perhaps she “thought” I was giving a new phone. Maybe it was only from this time that she saw the “Robert” potential in me? I don’t know. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt. For the sake of future bonks, I bought a new phone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
b) Vietnamese girls think that we foreigners are the ticket for them to get away from their poverty and country. Once I was whisked off by a Vietnamese syt to see her parents the moment I touch down at the airport, eventhough I only met her a few times at a Joo Chiat pub.
Agree with you on this point. I would like to know your experience. How was the meeting like, apart from the fact that you
bi shou hua jiao
? How did you end the relationship eventually?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
c) As I mentioned in my earlier posts, you’ll never know what they are doing behind your back in Vietnam… But at least you managed to bonk her a few times, so I guess you didn’t
lugi
that much also.
Precisely! That’s why I was intent on continuing to play the game and get something in return. I had a few scares along the way though. You’ll read in the next few instalments of the story what actually happened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
d) Lan even returned all the photos back to you. This means that she is determined to break all contacts with you, and she can then hook up with other unmarried men!!!
Nope. The photos that she passed to me on my last day weren’t my photos, nor were they photos of the two of us. They were pictures of Lan and her colleagues from Bar Stop. Some of them were taken during their holiday in Mui Ne, and others were taken during Chau’s wedding. If you remember, Chau was a Mandarin-speaking colleague of Lan’s. So, those were entirely Lan’s personal pictures. I’m not sure why she gave them to me. But I won’t discard them. Though I had a painful episode, I still want to retain some memories of this short-lived sweetness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
e) I’m glad that you have emerged stronger after this episode. But I have a hunch that the same thing will happen to you again the next time you met a sexy syt again. When will you ever learn to “hit and run”?!!!
I probably won’t! Haha… Okay, seriously, I have to learn to let go at some point in time. I have this soft spot in me that tells me to chase skirts when I meet them. Yesterday, when I was feeling blue, I called up my girl in Bangkok. I had met her at the Embassy Lounge in March. She was so elated to hear from me, and honestly, each time I speak with her, I find that she’s so much more sincere than Lan. She asked when I would go visit her, and asked me to be with her during her birthday (January). I told myself to not fall for her like what happened between me and Lan. I want to declare that I’m already married. But I’m waiting for the correct time to do that. I think I’ll do that only when we meet face-to-face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
f) As I mentioned in my earlier posts, we will need to eventually return to my Queen and baby at the end of the day. Sadly I didn’t read anything about you buying gifts from Vietnam for your family, nor do I read about you feeling guilty to your family. How can this be!!!!!
Not writing anything about buying gifts and feeling guilty towards my family doesn’t mean these things didn’t happen! I did buy gifts and I’m constantly feeling apologetic towards the Queen, the baby and my parents. It’s just that I concentrated my story on the happenings between Lan and me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
g) I’m sure you’ll still feel hurt by this episode. But life goes on. Never give up an entire forest because of 1 tree. Besides, you still have a Queen and baby that loved you deeply, and very much dependent on you for support.
Yes, I know that. In the past few days, I thought my investments in learning basic Vietnamese had gone sour. And I was pondering if I should pick up Thai instead. Then I told myself that I will soldier on and master Vietnamese well (a shipment for higher-level courseware is already on the way actually) and forage again in future, this time with a much clearer head!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
haha_123
Lastly, Bro Tomahawk, thank you very much for your very touching story. Like they say, "
love is blind
" and "
short pain is better than long pain
“. Anyway, I wish you all the best, to you and your family.
I’m glad that I could help. I am still learning, and I hope brothers will learn from my mistakes too. I apologise for the very cheong hei narration though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MrDevil
There is always a line to be drawn if you intend to further the r/s or just a sweet holiday. From the start, you were assuming that she could be a GF material, instead of just a FB or fling. Otherwise, you won’t have put it so much effort, time and money to maintain and continue the r/s.
…
these are all just part of the game and you got to play the game by its rules. That is to enjoy the sweetness of the moment while you can and give up when time reached.
I’m not sure why I identified Lan as having gf material in the beginning. When I got close to Tingting in the past, I did like her too, and I was damn sad when she returned home. However, this feeling didn’t last more than a week or two. Soon, we started to drift apart, and had it not been for her weekly or biweekly calls, we would have lost contact by now. She does miss me, and I admit that I miss her too. However, I have never sent her a single gift, but I know that we’ll bonk like rabbits when we meet. I know she’ll be my FB. The background to our relationship is that she had worked in Meiya (GLH) and I had bonked her in a hotel and her Geylang apartment during her stay here.
I think I treated Lan differently because of the need to keep in touch with her following my failure to bed her on my first trip. Had I bonked her at the unnamed hotel, I wouldn’t have had the need to cling on to her. It was probably this clinging and the desire to secure future bonks (remember I bought a phone to secure her?) that made me go deeper and deeper. I admit that a major motivator for getting close to her was the fact that she’s an 18-year old SYT, someone I would never ever get in Singapore. Looking forward, if I get to meet a SYT like her again, I’m not sure if I would be able to make such a find a FB rather than a gf.
I have something to announce here. I have been thinking hard these two days. I know that brothers here have been asking me to leave the past behind me and look ahead.
At the height of my anger and disappointment over the weekend, I was actually contemplating flying to Saigon to confront Lan. I realised that for all the things that had happened, I had one advantage over her. Because the war happened in Vietnam and not here, I know where she lives, works and plays, but not the other way round. If I wanted to, I could always stalk her and do something nasty to her. I even went as far as to think of grabbing her phone, returning her the SIM card, and smashing the device. Now, thinking back, I realise I had been very childish.
Brother Pearl’s post sort of woke me up. I had lied right from the beginning to a girl who had put her trust in me. Yes, I know that Lan had been making us of me (to get a better life) but I had been making use of her too (to get bonks and to a lesser extent, to learn Vietnamese). However, I’m feeling bad about having lied to her. I know I got dumped not only because Lan realised I’m not able to give her the $ that she wants, but also because she’s hurt that I had been lying to her. Never mind the intentions behind introducing me to her mum.
The fact is, I did betray her trust
. If anything, being someone who lives a comfortable life, I should close one eye to her motives and actions. People like Lan and her friends did not ask to be born poor. They do what they have to do to get a better life. Like what you guys say, I should have made Lan my FB. Instead of that, I made her my temporary gf while misleading her into thinking that I was true to her.
I looked back at my own actions and realised that I had been a
xiao ren
. I am so disgusted with myself for having lied my way to reach some girl’s pussy. Why should a man have to stoop so low to do that, don’t you agree? I should have been open right in the beginning. Lying doesn’t bring one anywhere. Rather than play by the rules,
I lied my way through and tricked Lan to bed
. In fact, yesterday I even sent Lan a series of not-so-nice SMS while still pretending to be on a high moral horse. I know that right after finding out about the Queen, Lan was already disheartened and disappointed, but still put on a brave front. She acted like nothing had happened and went on to introduce her friends to me and even shopped with me for the baby’s clothes. She could have abandoned me or even confronted me, but she chose to suffer in silence and to accompany me right till my departure, then do a silent farewell. And I had the cheek to demand to know why she did not explain things properly. Her actions and mine made me hate myself more.
Having made a grave mistake, a man should be gracious enough to apologise.
I intend to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.
Apart from making myself feel better, this would also make things less awkward when we bump into each other (and Lan’s friends and colleagues) again in future. I know I will visit Saigon again. I will visit Bar Stop and Lan’s restaurant again. Avoiding these places doesn’t solve the problem. I also want to ward against having anything happen to the Queen and me when we visit Vietnam in future or when Lan comes over to Singapore (though this is unlikely to happen). Like what Chinese say, no matter what happens, we should always
hao lai hao san
.
I hope I have you brothers’ support on this.
Finally i managed to read wat happened. Well, time to move on and back to reality my friend. It must have been hell of an experience aye?
Im rushing now, will post more later when I can.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tomahawk
I have something to announce here. I have been thinking hard these two days. I know that brothers here have been asking me to leave the past behind me and look ahead.
At the height of my anger and disappointment over the weekend, I was actually contemplating flying to Saigon to confront Lan. I realised that for all the things that had happened, I had one advantage over her. Because the war happened
Apart from making myself feel better, this would also make things less awkward when we bump into each other (and Lan’s friends and colleagues) again in future. I know I will visit Saigon again. I will visit Bar Stop and Lan’s restaurant again. Avoiding these places doesn’t solve the problem. I also want to ward against having anything happen to the Queen and me when we visit Vietnam in future or when Lan comes over to Singapore (though this is unlikely to happen). Like what Chinese say, no matter what happens, we should always
hao lai hao san
.
I hope I have you brothers’ support on this.
It takes a brave man to admit his wrongs.
From someone that has gone through all your motions now, I have this to say:
Just close this episode and move on. No point apologizing since the damage is beyond repair. If u still want to see or bed her, throw her money. That is the only way. Hard facts but true.
Lose this LAN u will have other LANs to work it out.
Cheers and good luck with your future LANs.
l am sorry, tomahawk brother, as lately l hav been a bit busy wif my work stuff. yupps read abt ur incomin msg to ask for my own opinions.
l didnt mean anything, serious. Jus a bad feeling l developed as l continue to read ur stories. l tink the feelings l had, sum brothers in here had oreadi commented it out le.
l tink u should put it to a stop if possible.
there are a few things l suspect, l tink u oso noe it urself.
That this gal, lan, u say she noe the locations of hotels, fro this, u can see tat, she frequent hotels alot, isnt this suspecting. The possibility of her going out wif other guys to hotels cant be ruled out.
And oso, fro ur post, l could see tat she didnt try to probe abt ur stuffs. In my own humble opinions, l feel tat if a gal is really into u, she will surely like to noe more abt ur stuffs, to hav a better understanding abt u. U may term it as their culture of not trying to probe into other ppl stuffs. But certainly l dun tink tat this had to do wif culture thingy.
Summore, she keep asking u for things.
But anyway Tomahawk brother, wadever advices me and the other brothers in here had given u, u can jus listen. Cos l noe had a feeling for lan, and it is impossible to forget a person or break off wif her when u both had spent sum happy and quality time together. right?
U can still follow ur heart and do wadever u deem, but if u smell troubles, do get away asap.
Anyway ur stories really interesting,l had read ur stories of tingting and this one. From the start to the end. Learned sum tinz fro u as well.
Nice meeting you too, brother carmeo88. What should I do huh? I know what you guys mean when you say just forget the whole matter. No point saying sorry and so on.
But what would happen when I set foot on Bui Vien Street again? I really don’t rule out the possibility of going back to that bar and the restaurant. I foresee that things will be awkward when we all meet again.
Something in me tells me that my actions were not right. Call me over-sentimental or over-emotional, but I feel that I have to do the right thing. Even if my actions don’t change anything, at least I know that I have done my part and I don’t owe anyone any explanation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
magicafe
Bro Tomahawk,
Take it easy! if u happen to set foot on Bui Vien Street again, things will be the same. The same Lan will be glad seeing u and serving u. Remember! She is a pro. She get over her misery more easier than u expect.
Just that the sex will not be raw
. maybe, trying more hard to suck your sing$$$. that’s all!!!
I’m not so sure about that. During my few days with her, she had such a casual attitude towards the use of condoms that it scares me now, thinking back. I wonder how much raw sex she has had with the men she has met!