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She found out that I have a Queen and baby at home.
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She realised that I’m not able to give her the $ that she’s seeking.
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S$440 (including postage) in a brand new Samsung handphone that I gave her two months back, S$400 in cash I brought over to Saigon last week (but some of this was consumed by me, in terms of food, drinks, shopping and entertainment) and US$58 spent on accomodation.
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Another S$100 in a phone battery and charger and postage that I had sent earlier, before I realised she was actually asking for a new phone.
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About S$120 in Chatchat calling cards that I have spent on in the past two months, and another $70 or so in SunPage IDD phone bills earlier, before I realised the massive savings with calling cards.
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Lots of time spent at work chatting on the phone and talking discreetly at home.
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Lots and lots of feelings. I had put in my true feelings for Lan. Yes, I knew we couldn’t be together eventually but I still gave her my real feelings. That’s just me. I tend to fall for every “nice” girl I meet. I’m the sentimental, emotional type of person.
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Basic but gramatically correct Tieng Viet – I had gone as far as to learn basic Vietnamese so that I could converse with Lan.
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An undertanding of the lives of ordinary Vietnamese. This is something you will never get as a tourist, even if you sit down with the locals at roadside stalls for breakfast. You don’t get the kind of insights into how locals lived their lives unless you’re involved on a personal level with somebody for a period of time.
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A better geographic understanding of Saigon, especially District 1. I can say I can confidently navigate around the Pham Ngu Lao/Bui Vien area and find good eats and hotels in future.
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The wonderful feeling of having a new girlfriend, one who’s young, fair and pretty. It’s really nice to relive the feeling of courting someone and being courted, and to be able to visit nightspots again, with a gf in revealing clothes in tow. Trust me, this is something I never get in Singapore.
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Most important of all: AN IMPORTANT LESSON ON THE WONDERS AND RISKS OF ENGAGING IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH FOREIGN GIRLS. I had been a newbie in BGR with foreigners prior to arriving in Vietnam. I had previously had Tingting from China, but our relationship was forged here when she was working in Meiya, and we had engaged in the occassional chat when she returned home. But this is the first time I had allowed myself to be with someone to such a deep extent, in a foreign land. Now that I have tasted failure, I believe I have emerged a stronger person.
I’m thinking of doing Part II of my Vietnam story. The story of what happened when I finally returned to this country. Is anyone interested? I’m concious of the fact that not everyone will take to my longwindedness!
By the way, I have some queries here. I’m not sure if this happens to me only or it’s common among all the brothers here.
I find that when we befriend girls in such countries like Thailand and Vietnam, they’re okay with getting by with not knowing fully about us. For one, never once did Lan ask about my age. Neither did she know what I was working as. It was only when one of her “sisters” asked me the above in Lan’s presence that she found out. Lan didn’t even know my full name till I told her on my own. Also, Lan permitted me to take nude shots of her during my first visit, no questions asked. She didn’t ask for any of my photos in return. And on the recent trip, she allowed me to take photos and videos of her at the bar, plus shots of us together, but did not ask me to send them to her. I remember that when I was in Bangkok earlier this year, the girl at a massage place let me take her topless pictures and invited me to her home, but she also never probed about my personal life.
The above behaviours wouldn’t be seen if I was dealing with Singaporean girls. Anyone knowing a guy would naturally be curious about him and his family/work/personal life/etc. My guess is that girls in the “lesser” countries are only hoping to score comparatively richer boyfriends or husbands. So long as they can achieve this, nothing else is important. It’s not so much that they’re bochup, but that they simply don’t see the need to probe.
Any brothers here have the same observation?
Thanks brothers nyquist, rapebill, magicafe, rock777 and Intel_Ops. Your comments are very much appreciated.
Before I go on to post Part II of my story, here’s an update. Yes, if you have seen the title up here, I have been dumped. Ha… I already started to sense that things weren’t quite the same after I left Vietnam last Tuesday. Before I arrived on my second visit, we would talk everyday – sometimes she did the calling, sometimes me. She would get upset if I did not call. However, since Tuesday, she has not contacted me. My numerous SMS to her went unanswered. And she doesn’t call me anymore (except for a call last night; see below). She didn’t go to the extent of rejecting my calls. She did answer them, but I notice she doesn’t call me Darling anymore. And each and every call is just so short. She’s always busy and always promises to call or SMS afterwards, but of course they never came.
In the past, even when I called her at work, she never failed to set aside a couple of minutes to chat. Hmmm…
Anyhow, I felt so sad about losing Lan the past few days (I thought about her even when lying on the bed at night) that on Saturday night, I actually sneaked out of the room when the Queen was asleep, to make a call. That must have been about 1:00am Saigon time or so. Of course the call went unanswered. Last night, at 1:30am here, I was awakened by a call myself. It was that familiar number +8490xxxxxxx. I actually think that Lan was seeking revenge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
magicafe
Bro Tomahawk,
Excuse me! From my experiences related to your ?, you’re just another of her potential sugar daddy until further progress that your are sincere. She likes u but in love with u. She has feeling for u but not the love’s kind of feeling.
How right you are, brother magicafe and others. Brother nyquist also mentioned TLC. What’s that BTW?
Anyhow, I now fully understand what you guys have been warning me about. Yes, love blinds one when one is immersed in the wonderful feeling. I did know what you guys were talking about when you told me Viet girls are out for money. It’s just that one has to go through the school of hard knocks before you fully appreciate the meaning and put things in perspective.
So, Lan now doesn’t contact me anymore. I suspect it could be due to two reasons:
I’ll release the details in the story that will follow. However, for now, I guess I have to be consoled by the fact that I got away rather easily. The outcome could have been worse. After Lan found out that I was married, she continued going out with me on Day 2 and we had sex a few more times. She acted like nothing had happened, preferring to do a quiet goodbye after I departed. She could have simply left the hotel and left me to fend on my own.
Rounding everything up, let’s see. What have I lost?
What have I gained?
I was so sad in the past few days when it finally dawned on me that, in rapebill’s words, I was no longer Lan’s sun. Even though I knew it was a futile attempt to get Lan to talk to me again, I still tried hard to reach her. I even ordered a bouquet of flowers for her, hoping to reverse things (oh yah, I had spent a couple of hundred dollars on gifts for Lan so far). I was so sad yesterday. The pain was excruciating. Still, I had to had maintain a smile on my face, as I was at home with the Queen and baby.
I remember that earlier, I had naively hoped that I would be able to break off with Lan next year, after she got her passport – of course, the longer she took to come over, the better. I did expect a not-so-good ending to our BGR, but I didn’t expect it to end so soon. Also, I thought I would the one dumping her, not the other way round.
Now I know that Lan had been using me. And when she realised I could not give her what she wanted, I was no longer of any use to her. And of course, I have no doubt that though she liked me, she did two-time me.
Maybe the break-off was a blessing in disguise. At least now I don’t have to be always on my toes at home anymore. Now that the terror alert situation has eased, the alert level can revert to green. I can finally switch my phone back to General mode. No more Silent or Meeting mode and putting myself at risk of not knowing when my mum calls or when the Queen forwards jokes to me.
Yes, the pain yesterday was unberable. But I definitely feel much better now. Perhaps it helped to pour out my sorrows here. Thanks guys for sticking through the episode with me. If anyone here would like to meet up for lunch in town, I’ll bring Lan’s pictures along – I still wonder why she left a stack of photos with me on my last day
.
bro Tomahawk, it is better to put everything behind you now, no pts keeping on with her photos. Let everything start new again and dun look back. Anyway, just take it as a short fling. You are still you and there is a saying ‘old one dun go, new one wont come’.
Sunday, 4 November 2007. It was about 1:30pm local time. The aircraft was making its way to Tan Son Nhat International Airport. Flying over the Mekong Delta, I was awed by its beauty. During my first trip here at the end of August, I had already noticed this natural geographic formation, but didn’t quite know it was a well-known feature in this part of the world. It was after a full weekend over which I wasn’t able to reach Lan at all and she explained she had followed her friend Lien to her hometown in Mekong Delta that I knew of the existance of this place. Subsequent checks on the map revealed that this was the very location that I had passed on the way to Saigon two months earlier.
Now, as the aircraft started its descent, my heart was filled with excitement. I had waited for a long time for this day. Returning from the commercial hub of Vietnam in early September, I had wondered when I would be able to return. I missed Lan a lot. I had had a tearful farewell with her during my last day on my previous trip, and so many things had happened since then. In the second half of September, I had shipped a handphone battery and travel charger and to her (I spent a good S$100 then), as I knew her old phone was faulty.
It was during one hot afternoon in Singapore when she called me during a meeting to express her disappointment. “I no want battery. I want phone, you know?” she protested. I had, right in the beginning, told her that I would be getting a battery and travel charger for her, and made sure she understood what I meant. However, when the shipment arrived, it appeared that Lan had gotten less than what she had bargained for. I did not know if it was a ploy on her part to con something out of me, but for the sake of our future relationship, I took the plunge and invested S$398 in a brand new Samsung SGH-E900 from Harvey Norman. Add to that another $36 or so for EMS Speedpost, and I had easily spent almost half a thousand dollars. I noticed a marked difference in her attitude towards me once she got hold of the mobile device. She called me excitedly a week later and we spoke for a good 5 minutes or so. Usually she requested me to call her back in order to save on IDD charges, but not this time. She was full of delight. From then, we had engaged in daily conversations. Sometimes she called, sometimes I did. At the very least, we SMSed each other. On days when I did not call her or when I refused to answer as I was angry with her, she got upset and demanded to know why. One such day, she sounded so desperate in her SMS, “Why yesterday you no call me or SMS me? I miss you, you know?”
And so our daily conversations continued right till the day before my departure. This time, I wanted to play a trick on her. She did not hear from me all of Saturday. Then when I was at Changi Airport on Sunday noon, I sent a quick SMS out. “Sorry darling, I am sick. Yesterday and today I feel no good. I will go see doctor later. Maybe next month I try to go to Saigon, ok? Sorry.” Lan’s reply came quick and furious. “I don’t no you sick. Yesterday you no tell me. You don’t come to Saigon, no fonblem. Then I no call you and sms you. Bey.” Minutes before I boarded my flight, as I was standing at the gate, I gave Lan a call. Clutching a shopping bag containing a small teddy bear for the sweetheart, I called her.
Me: Darling, I’m sorry. You angry huh?
Lan: No.
Me: I’m sorry okay? But today I’m sick. You know, yesterday and today I don’t feel well. I’ll see a doctor later.
Lan: It’s okay. You don’t come to Saigon, it’s okay. No problem.
Me: I’m sorry…
Lan: You tell me you come to Saigon. Then I wait until today. But today you tell me you no come.
Me: But I’m sick… You angry huh?
Lan: Yes! I tell my sisters, my mother, my friends you come Saigon. Today morning I go to book the room. Then now you tell me you no come. I go cancel the room.
I got anxious. Lan had booked a room for me at the Lien Ha Hotel and I didn’t want to risk having no girl-friendly roof over my head when I arrived.
Me: You mean you have already booked the room? So you are going to cancel it?
Lan: Yes.
Me: Wait, have you cancelled the room yet?
Lan: Yes.
It was time to tell the truth.
Me: Lan, what time is it now?
Lan: …
Me: Lan, now it’s 11:25am in Saigon (it was 12:25pm in Singapore, 20 minutes before my flight departed)…
Lan: I don’t know… but you say you come Saigon, now you no come…
Me: Lan! Listen to me. Now it’s 11:25am in Saigon ok? Later, 1:50pm, 1 o’clock and 50 minutes, you go to Tan Son Nhat Airport ok? I see you there.
Lan: It’s okay. You sick, you stay Singapore ok? No problem…
I was running late. It was only 15 minutes to departure, and the waiting area was nearly empty. The X-ray scanning folks at the gate were watching me as I talked animatedly on the phone.
Me: Okay. I have to go, okay? Later, 1:50pm you go to the airport. I see you there. I’m running late. Byebye!
With that I hung up and made my way onto the aircraft. While on my seat, I sent the girl a couple of messages.
Me: “Darling Lan,
anh yeu em lam
. I miss you so much. I want to kiss you and hug you.”
Lan: "
Lan cung the
."
Me: “I am on the plane now. Later 1:50pm we meet in Saigon Airport ok?
Lan co muon di uong ca phe a Highlands Coffee khong?
Heehee…”
Lan: "
Co. Em nho anh nhieu lam.
Hehehe."
Me: “OK. The plane is flying soon. I cannot talk anymore. See you later, darling.
Toi di.
"
Lan: "
Toi di.
"
During the two months I was in Singapore, I had mastered basic Vietnamese, in part to communicate with Lan more effectively. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to master a new language, whether for personal achievement or for career advancement. I hadn’t mastered quite enough to be able to hold a decent conversation, but I was able to string a few simple but gramatically-correct sentences together.
The plane touched down in Saigon. I beamed to myself as the aircraft pulled up at the gate. In a few minutes, I would be reunited with my darling. My last trip here, I had come to Saigon on official business, though I had extended my stay by a day. This time round, I did something very bad. I had told my family that I had a project to do here when I had none. Oh my… I didn’t expect myself to stoop so low. I was letting everyone down, all because of a pretty 18-year old. I wondered if I would be emotional enough to cry when I had Lan in my arms. I also wondered if I would starved of sex enough to pin her to the wall or wardrobe and lick her all over the moment we checked in to our hotel. I was interrupted in my thoughts by a call. I was still in the aircraft.
A strange number appeared on my phone. 017000. Who could that have been? "
Chao em!
" I uttered as I walked past the stewardesses who had lined up to say goodbye. Silence. Another call came, this time with a different number, something like 0802100000. "
Chao em!
" I said again. Again there was silence. I knew it must have been Lan. Why I saw funny numbers instead of her own mobile number, I wasn’t quite sure.
I made my way to Passport Control, but not before stopping by a bench and keeping my ring. The last thing I wanted was to give Lan ammunition to fire me with. During the past month, she had questioned me on my marital status and made it clear that she did not want a married man for a boyfriend. She had recounted her bad experience in Hanoi when she found our that her then partner was a married man with a baby. I had come thus far to be with this girl, and I didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardise my stay here. I didn’t want to lose her. If anything, I was intent on bonking her, after I failed to do so two months before. To put it crudely, I did want to recoup my investments, having spent S$400 on a new Samsung phone for her.
I swopped the memory cards in my phone and camera that contained my family’s pictures with less offensive ones. Another call came in.
Me:
Chao em!
Lan: Where are you?
Me: I’m in the airport already. But I need to spend some time in Passport Control. You know, Passport Control?
Lan: What time you come Saigon?
Me: I’m here already! But you wait for a while, OK?
Lan: OK…
I was greeted with long lines at Passport Control. While I was fussing around with my phone and camera earlier, another flight had arrived. Before me I could see a large group of footballers from Guam who had arrived on Korean Air. Lan called a few more times. I shut her up with an SMS.
Finally I was done. I picked up my luggage and made my way out of the Arrival Hall. I scanned the people standing outside for my sweetheart but could not find her. Did she not come pick me up? Was there some miscommunication?
I managed to leave the railed area and walked out into the open area, wandering aimlessly. Out of nowhere a bouquet of flowers was shoved into my face. I turned around to see Lan. She was in a knited yellow top and had a smile on her face. As I beamed a large smile she offered an embrace. It felt so nice to hug this girl again. No, I did not cry this time.
Lan led me along as she surveyed the taxis around us. As a local, she knew which ones were good and which were rip-offs. In a minute we were on our way to Lien Ha.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Reaper
another one bites the dust……..
But hopefully a stronger Tomahawk will emerge from the dust! Hee…
I have been wondering… Some of you guys have been talking about f*** buddies. How do you define a FB? I know there’s a no-strings-attached relationship and you do nothing but do it when you meet, but how do you maintain that relationship? Do you ever send any money to these girls in between meetings? I’m quite certain that Tingting in Shenzhen can be my FB. I have yet to meet up with her since she returned home, but I’m quite sure that we’ll be able to have lots of fun when I do visit her. I don’t send any money to her, but I know I will buy some simple gifts when I visit.
Now, given a chance, how could I have made Lan my FB right in the beginning? It seems that given the circumstances, I had no choice but to make Lan my gf, and I had to lie that I was single in order to be able to secure some bonks. How differently should I have approached her in the beginning?
Its all learning process dude.
The common pitfall any hot blooded male to get the fairer sex onto bed is to LIE at the outset. Once u made this move, no more FB scenario.
Just be honest at the outset and if chemistry gels, meaning she knows u have a happy marriage and still flirts with you, u made the first step.
Think big but Keep it simple.
I know what you mean, brother Pearl. The problem is, if I didn’t lie in the beginning, I risked not getting Lan into my arms at all. If Lan had been a WL at a brothel or massage place, sure, no problem. I could always tell her the truth. The nature of her work would have deprived her of a bf or husband and I could easily fill in the void. But I had picked Lan up in a disco. If I had made it known to her that I was married, I am pretty sure I would not have managed to bed her at all. Then I would have made an empty trip.
To tell the truth, I felt very bad initially when I had won her trust and lied to her. However, now that I know that she has been sleeping around, I don’t feel that bad. We had both been playing games with each other.
Tomahawk