My good for nothing life


    Chapter #31

    After wiping myself I thought fuck now I am all messed up how the hell do I go back to Delta. I smelt of semen. Rachel passed Me a towel and signal me to take a bath. After the bath I was fresh but urggh I have to put back on my sweaty running singlet.

    Rachel had finished moping the floor.

    We sat leaning on the wall. The block of flat was old thus the corridor was noisy with kids running about. Awkwardness was in the air.

    Rachel:. My sister will be back soon she is buying food for me so you better leave.

    I looked at Rachel she was the type of woman I ever wanted. Simple and yet elegant in her way. There was no earring piercing or fingernail polish on her daily lifestyle. I can never understand why woman will want to poke a hole in their ears for attractiveness.

    Me:. Ya I got to go. Thank you as I make my way out of the flat.

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    Chapter #32

    I arrived back at my home after a bath and changing into new clothes. I sat on my bed wondering should I message Rachel.

    I never did message her I just uploaded my steps for that day on wechat moments. I laze on my bed just thinking of Rachel there was a few moments I reached for the phone with the urge of calling her.

    I refrained as I did not want to be appear needy. I though to myself she will eventually let me go or even disappeared. Sometimes not having something is better than having it and losing it.

    I looked at my room and think of my life prior to being lean I was dabbling in occult stuff as I wanted my boss to show me compassion but it backfired and I quited that MNC. My life was a mess why dragged other people down with it some more it could be my wishful thinking. With that thought I just muttered prayer till I was asleep.

    Things went back to normal I was still uploading my daily steps. Work was damn busy in office a little some info of the layout of office. The office had a little pathway to the main door so my desk was situated near the entrance. Ppl will have to walk pass me to go to the entrance. Things are getting shitty I cannot go out often as those 3 reservation fat aunties will gossip I been slacking thus I stayed most of the time in my desk listening to those fat aunties munching their biscuits.

    I had developed a habit leaning my head to the pathway whenever I heard Ann footsteps heading to the pathway as she was wearing heels whereas the aunties wear slippers or even barefooted.

    Ann was always walking swifty creating a gush of wind when she walked past me I was always trying to catch a whew of her perfume. This was my past time in that hell hole I had given up hope on probation just waiting for January to come and throw my letter.

    It was that last week of December where I saw Ann teary eyes around knock off time.

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    Chapter #33

    Me: Ann are you okay.

    It was knock off time the 3 fat aunties had left on the dot and I never saw ann’s hr assistant that whole day. Actually I knew what happened.

    Ann and her assistant had got into an argument regarding the Xmas party layout. I overheard her assistant complaining to the 3 fat aunties supposedly joining their league. This place was a mess.

    Ann was there in a teary mess eyes all swollen. I looked at her my expression forever in a stoic expressionless look.

    As I was no stranger to politics it’s best for me to stay out.

    Ann: are you knocking off soon. We can go to mrt.

    Me: OK.

    With that we walked out of office. It was a silence a complete contrast from Ann usual cheerful demeanour.

    Ann: you know what happened right you should have heard the argument in the daily meeting.

    I nodded.

    Ann: sorry I just needed someone to talk to usually it’s my bf but we quarrelled a few weeks ago. You look like the silent mind your own business type.

    Me: yah dun worry I have no one to gossip to anyway.

    With that we headed off to a coffee house.

    I fetch her a latte while I was drinking black coffee with no sugar.

    Ann: you dun feel bitter drinking that?

    Me: nah I am used to it.

    Ann: I noticed you never ate in lunch. A couple of time I saw you walking in the shopping mall.

    Me: I grab a quick bite.

    I lied as I did not want anyone to know I was doing one meal a day as it was like a taboo to just eat once daily.

    We went on to talk about culture in hotel actually I was doing the listening. I was wary of all woman even Ann.

    Ann: life is tough in hotel line.

    I nodded my head and said tougher than my previous job.

    Ann: I feel so isolated here in the past I had yen as my assistant but she tendered today and was telling me she had enough. Life is so bitter.

    Me:. Ya life is like an over cooked steak.

    Ann:. What an analogy.

    Me: I watched a Japan movie before there was this girl who was overweight and was chased out by her family. She got a job as a bar tender one day she was gang raped but despite all this she never cried. After that she begin to pick up boxing as a sport and she was beaten so many time.

    One day she was all bruised out after a match, her coach gave her a overcooked steak to eat. She finally cried saying her life is like this steak unchewable yet she had to chew it to survive.

    Ann: that’s a good analogy we are always wondering why are you so quiet.

    Me: I am just minding my business

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    Chapter #34

    Me: please do not be sad. There will always be people putting you down especially the fat and lazy.

    Ann: i knew whom you are talking about i cannot do much about those 3 mountains in office

    Me: haha i thought hr are supposed to be unbiased.

    Ann: they always think i am finding fault with them but they often went for 2 hours lunch.

    I saw another side of ann but its normal in fact its human nature for her to flare up. She was dressed in a tight black dress exposing her collar bone and nicely touched up make up. She had gone for a re touch while i was queuing for coffee.

    A few angmo in the cafe was staring at her i was not surprised at all.

    Ann: how was your work so far.

    Me: counting days ba. I was never the first choice.

    Ann: ya i knew it was not up to me to decide.

    Me: nah i am always grateful to you for not giving me a hard time in my interview

    Ann: if i would to ask you accompany for lunch every now and then will it be okay.

    Me: sure.

    i am thinking it wont happen. Pretty girl will never ask me for lunch

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    Chapter #35

    After the chat with ann I went home. It has been a week since my encounter with Rachel. She had yet to message me and I did think of her every now and then. I guess she was angry or anything but I did not message her back as I did not want to be insulted.

    I was being paroid but phobia of women had sunk into my soul. Monday came and those few weeks are my worst period. Everything was a mess I was in a office where gossip are like disease. I had difficulties sleeping at night I told myself just give up and throw in letter before your probation. They won’t confirm you anyway.

    I was now planning for the upcoming cocktail and mocktail promotions. Thus frequents ran to restaurant was a necessary schedule.

    As expected Ann did not ask me for lunch which I am not surprised. She was a manager level. Her assistant had ask for early release thus she was alone rushing here and there.

    I was still catching a whew of her perfume whenever she walk past me. But I will shunned whenever those 3 mountains walked the pathway. No way was I going to smell their odour.

    Sometimes fate works in strange way I was in the front counter working out promotion for decorations of the festival season. I saw a couple walking to the front counter it was vincy with another male.

    As soon as I made out it was vincy I quickly ducked and walked off. The male was a pudgy man in his forties with bald spot. Vincy was taller than him. It had been a year and time was not kind to vincy she had at least put on 10 kg.

    I managed to sneak off to a corner. Next morning came and I was on the way to office passing the breakfast crowd when I came face to face with vincy.

    I thought to myself: please do not recognize me.

    Vincy smiled at me and after that I received a wechat invitation from her.

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    Chapter #36

    No i did not add vincy straightaway. I was in a tight spot that time. My job prospects are dim and i cannot afford to go massage like in the past. Thus i ignored the wechat invitation.

    Evening came and it was time to knock off. I packed my stuff and began to proceed to the door. Ann was still in her room, the 3 mountains had left on time

    I heard ann suddenly called my name frantically. I went inside her room and found her pointing at her laptop.

    Ann squealed: help me catch that cricket.

    I saw a small cricket hopping on the laptop. I thought to myself: heng its only a cricket not a cockroach otherwise the stench will be foul.

    I catch the cricket and jokingly asked ann does she need to take picture so that we can inform the pest busters.

    Ann passed me a tissue and asked me to dispose the insect.

    Siao i thought its only a cricket no need to kill it. I just went out and release it onto main road.

    When i came back ann thanked me. I looked at her.

    Her hair was in a mess and beads of sweat was forming along her collar bone.

    Me: no worries i catch alot of this during my ns days.

    Ann: its good to have a guy in this office. You leaving now lets go together.

    I nodded and we switched off the lights i looked at her tight butt. She was dressed in a tight pokka dots pants clearly showing the outline of her panties.

    She looked at my attire and noticed i had brought my running gear bag with me.

    Ann: you are going for a run?

    I nodded.

    Ann: do you want to go to my cross fit gym. I can itroduce you to my group. First session is free trial.

    Post #103
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    Chapter #37

    I hesitated and asked is it free?

    Ann nodded and said her team partner is on overseas trip thus i can do a free trial session.

    I thanked her and agreed to go as i was always curious about cross fit session.

    Alittle something about myself at that time. I was lean towards the 72 to 74 kg range a far cry from the 110 plus kg one year ago.

    I was experiencing changes in my body beside able to see my penis while standing up without my belly blocking it.

    I was lean that i had a clear vein in my bicep and i can see my xiphoid process a small lump in stenum area. Initially i freaked out as i thought it was cancer but a trip to polyclinic taught me some new found knowledge.

    At that time i was wearing my ajarn fon rian amulet for metta ren yuan.

    I had also purchased a phae on instalment basis.

    A phae is a goat shaped amulet made from a dead buffalo horn which has been struck by lightning. It was believed to be the number one opposite sex attraction artifact by thai natives.

    For those interested in knowing more you can google lp um phae. I am not trying to promote any superstition belief.

    During that time. I had given up.hope on being converted to perm as well as i was wearing 2 well known opposite sex and renyuan metta amulet. I began to talk more to ann even joking to her thus we became more acquainted that past few weeks.

    So off we proceed to the gym and i stunned when i saw ann had changed into a tight blue training bra.

    Post #108
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    Chapter #38

    Ann was dressed in a blue strap addidas sports bra and she had been tanning rather frequently resulting in an evenly light brown skin.

    She looked at my saf red singlet and commented it brings out my broad shoulder.

    Off we go for the briefing it was 10 person in a class with 2 per group and a trainer to supervise.

    Stations are pullup. Sumo deadlift and tyre smashung with hammer with a 5 min run carrying a medicine ball around the premises after each station.

    My comfort zone was chinup as usual. I been doing it daily but in crossfit the trainer encourages kipping pullup which i have reservations on that.

    Despite the trainer advice to ask me to kip i proceed and did 20 standard chinup and whe it was ann’s turn.

    I really wanted to advise her from kipping but i refrained from it. I was told to provide support in case she fall. Thus ann proceeded to mount the bar and started to kip.

    After few reps perhaps i was quite near her. Her thigh suddenly straighten and lean on my cock.

    Images of that night with rachel flashes across my mind.

    Pullup bar are like mistletoe for my cock whenever i stand under a pullup bar my cock gets a treat.

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    Chapter #39

    Thus after few rounds of circuit the cross fit session came to an end. After cooling down i went to the changing room for shower.

    Ann: how was the session. You wanna join this gym. My partner needs to go overseas often thus often my partner is the trainer.

    Me: its rather pricey for me but thanks for showing me around.

    Ann: hey after you washed up we go for a meal at food court.

    I need to talk to you on some work issue.

    I thought shit next week is the end of my 3 month probation chances are dim.

    After i washed up i waited for ann at the doorway. I was praying to my phae amulet to at least not make the probation issue awkard. I knew i am gone case but at least grant me a quock death. I saw ann dressed back in her corporate attire with her hair washed up and frizzly wet. She looked fresh and radiant.

    We proceeded to the food court and order dinner individually.

    When i was chewing my food, ann suddenly laugh.

    Ann: finally i saw you eating food. In this 2 months plus i never seen you take a bite of food be it birthday celebration or entertainment you are there with black coffee or water.

    Me: oh i am human i have to eat.

    Ann: i knew you are doing one meal a day judging from your pattern i just amazed that you can tahan for close to 3 months.

    I sigh there was no need for me to deny. I just hoped ann as a hr will not make a fuss on worrying whether i will faint etc.

    Ann: did hongjie dropped you any hints on your probation.

    Hongjie was my front office manager one of the few guys i am close to as we are both combat medic from the same camp i was 2 years his senior thus we had some topic to talk on.

    Me: ya he did asked me whether do i mind a female boss that is younger than me.

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    Chapter #40

    Ann: huh thats it? Wow that guy really never talked at all. Okay i talked to the director of sales as well as general manager. We felt that there is not much stuff that a marketing executive can do here as you can see our menu and room packages are promotional based.

    The general manager suggested in cramping the marketing executive with hr executive position.

    Me: oh meaning?

    Ann: you will still do the same stuff but you also will need to report under me.

    A million thoughts was going through my mind. Bloody place i was never the first choice thus first day of work i did not even get a proper superior and staff lunching.

    Me: i never handled hr duties before.

    Ann: well there is always a first time i can guide you along what do you say but there will be a 3 month probation too.

    My face became stoic emotionless. To me its okay as when i was doing night shift i did not also get staff benefit like annual leave.

    Ann: i hoped you will consider and accepted as hongjie and me persuaded general manager for this.

    Me: why?

    I was quite surprised as hongjie is a kind person by nature thus i am not suprised that he will put in a word for me but ann have ni much interaction with me.

    Ann: you know the culture here mostly female gossip environment. The application i received are women too. I think hiring a male will be good this time round. Also hotel environment are very messy i feel safe with a male staff.

    Ann was right. In my 2 months plus in hotel line. This industry was a cess pool. Different types of people are being hired for junior cooks and housekeeping. There are several times fights broke up due to salary issue. I was needed to restrain a few china guy while waiting for the police to arrive as the security guards are mostly old folks.

    Ann: give a thought and reply me on monday.

    I thanked ann and we went seperately after the meal. I remembered i was so vexed and disappointed i went straught to binge on fast food later on that night.

    Its been 2 weeks since my interaction with rachel i did not wechat her and neither did she. Sometimes i jerk off while thinking of that night with her. I had an urge of texting her but i refrain. Fuck it i thought i added vincy’s invitation.

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