My good for nothing life


    Chapter #11

    I was just 1 month shy of being 33 that year. Its been 6 weeks since i worked there nearing end november.

    Everything was tense and stressful. I need to invite the food influencers to sample the xmas menu and arrange for photo taking session of food. One thing that had changed me completely after working in this industry was i depised those so called cuisines food.

    Very often i get a heavy scolding from chef if i failed to pitch a desirable idea of his signature dishes. My only method of destressing was to take long brisk walk after i knocked off. I will walked from bugis junction to plaza singapura then somerset direction till i reached ion and i take a direct bus to my house in delta area. Its a friday evening thus i was walking in dhobty ghaut area my ex mnc company was near somerset area. Very often i will bump into my ex colleagues but i reckon they wont revognise me from that fat man that i used to be.

    I was wrong. I felt something nudged my shirt sleeve i turned around it was rachel. Rachel was the purchasing executive in my ex company and she was perhaps the only person that was sad when i tendered my resignation. We had a lot of interaction as i always need her to source for quotations etc.

    She was a young lady from kuala lumpur always liked to boast she was 165 cm which i realised later she was only 162cm. Rachel was not skinny but rather meaty but she had nice features however she does not have the fashion sense like most corporate ladies. Her attire will be t shirt jean and slippers which incurred few complaints. However she had a very nice superior whom shield her.

    Is that you what happened to you as she exclaimed in delight. Its been a year since i bade farewell to her after that i changed my hp number. I was in shock as while i knew i will bump into my ex colleague one way or another but i like taking long walk in cool november weather while looking at the xmas lighting.

    I said hello to rachel. She has not changed a bit still cheerful. During my 6 years in that company we are really close i always said if she were to slim down by 5 kg she can be the top 3 sexual fantasies of the company. One thing i like to comment about malaysia ladies is rarely they are A cuppers most are C Cuppers and above.

    Post #25
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    Chapter #12

    Hello rachel was all i can muttered. I was never an intelligent person but i was always told i can crack joke and make people laugh if i ever wanted to.

    That moment i was dumbfounded as my 6 years of life in mnc flashed right through my mind. There had been moments of happiness and satisfaction of job. I prided myself back then in finishing every assignment being placed to me but my ending was a brutal.

    I had a male vp boss initially but after 5 years he had promoted and a new superior came. Due to work differences and my lack of experience in sweet talking to old lady i sorta offended her and my remaining days are hell. I was verbally abused and there was a couple of time whereby she will called me insulting names to her kaki friends in watsapp then realise she had watsapp me wrongly instead. Names that i would not even want to remember.

    When i was serving my notice period i apologise to her if there was anything in work differences but she will still mock me and her kaki friend would come to me asking me whether can i leave earlier so that they could intro people for interview. My ending was brutal in that mnc i recalled i changed my number as soon as i checked my salary and cpf had been banked in.

    Rachel eyes was still as gentle as always i asked do you wanna drink coffee. We went to grab a coffee. Wah what diet pills did you take can intro me was her comments when i passed her the coffee.

    I had a shitty job that requires me to walk alot thus i slim down was my reply.

    She exclaimed damn you look tall and fit and even your dimples are visible now but how could you changed your hp number. We tried to ask you out for bbq session and realised you had changed your number and she went on to rant about life at her department.

    I reached out to hold one of her hand and pleaded rachel i have moved on with my life please do not talk to me anything about that place. Of all women i met in my life rachel was the most ideal. She was intelligent and yet sensible she knew when to place the limit so as not to hurt anyone.

    She sorta smiled and nodded. I recalled the atmosphere was so surreal it was xmas season and rachel had blossom.

    Her usual ponytail had been permed into curly shoulder length and her slippers was replaced with a high heel.

    She was wearing a formal blue button corporate wear shirt and black pants. I wondered who coaxed her into wearing this.

    She saw me staring and passed me her namecard. My boss just promote me to group purchasing assistant manager after i had graduate with part time degree last month.

    That explained the changes i nodded and commented finally you been subduded by the corporate ladder germs but thats a great wear.

    She giggled i always hoped i met you near this period as she knew i have a thing for xmas lighting.

    Post #28
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    Chapter #13

    I kept staring at rachel high heel its pink color at least 5 cm in heel. I asked rachel not tired wearing that. Rachel replied aiya dress code no choice but my height is 165cm wearing this heel of 5 cm makes me 170 cm towers alot of man.

    I nearly choked as i was chewing on the ice left on empty black coffee glass. My dad was 165cm theres no way rachel was 165cm especially i saw her walking barefooted before many many times. She asked you are around 186cm right?

    I nodded my head. She went on to say your girlfriend must feel protective walking beside you. I replied :Nah i am still single old and broke no singapore woman will bother to give me a stare, at that time i was exhausted from the yelling i received earlier on that day by the executive chef.

    One thing i found contrast between singapore and malaysian ladies was most sg ladies prefer korean drama malaysian mostly love tvb hongkong drama. I still remember rachel’s idol was joe ma de zhong a strapping 186cm tvb actor.

    I jokingly said you now modified 170cm have you found your ma de zhong. She said no lei tall guys seldom are single, auntie may kept ask about you. Auntie May was rachel’s superior and she dote rachel like her daughter. There was a couple of times auntie May told me rachel had a crush on me and a few of my colleagues did mentioned they spotted rachel standing beside my partition several times.

    I dissed all of it as bullshit but this moment i stared at rachel’s hair and milky fair face and neck i begin to have an impulse in my brain.

    Post #30
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    Chapter #14

    One thing i find endearing about rachel was she had this village lady charm she knew guy are staring at her c cup breast and fair flawless skin but she will not insult the guys for being tiko or brag it she will just carry on with her stuff.

    Back then we are really close we will spend hours chatting on tvb drama and food. There were few moments where she needs to check the goods delivery and needed to bend down causing a zaogeng. I had quite an eyeful on her cleavage she was really a c cupper not those pushup bra bullshit. Her bra was those auntie bra that my mom wore. Single color and inexpensive. She caught me staring several times and was rather embarrassed. At that time she knew i frequent massage shop for handjob as we are that close.

    She was still the same or at least not yet completely been devoured by the cold reality. As we progressed to chat about recent life i lied to her that i was working as an event coordinater with a charity company. I figured that there was no point in telling that i an working in a hotel which was kinda close to the mnc company.

    She joked:you sure you so kind hearted to work in charity. Of course when you are hungry i can even be a beggar was all i can muttered.

    The past 1 year had changed my life views i had basically given up hope on humanity. I always told people that i am close to 2 things.

    1: i am not a good guy as being good is a very tiring thing to be so please do not see me as good guy. I can delete or block a long contact friend without hesitation as soon as i felt i am.starting to feel a sense of attachment just like what i did to vincy.

    2: i am a good guy according to 80-20 rule i am not like those 20 percent of person who geuninely treat you well like your parents etc but i am a considered a saint as compared to the other 80 percent of the people who are around constantly digging your info so that they can spread it to harm you.

    I wont harm you but neither will i helped you.

    I stared at rachel buttoned shirt there is a small gap just enough to see her black bra. I burst out in giggle wah you not longer wearing those market color material.

    Post #35
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    Chapter #15

    Sometimes in life there are moments which we may remember throughout. That friday night was one of those moment.

    Rachel blushed and pinched me on my arm and said: Black is easier to wash. After a while its getting late i told rachel i needed to go home as i have to work on sat noon to entertain some food influencers.

    There was a hint of disappointment on her expression as i knew all along rachel was a lonely lady as well she had shared an apartment flat with several room mates from malaysia but woman and woman can never get close to each other. Thats why she will always do ot or have her semester module material in her desk whenever other people knocked off.

    I laughed and said we can still wechat and i have this win win situation for you to lose weight. She looked amused and said share lei. I added her on wechat and showed her my contacts she was the only one after i deleted vincy and several china ml.

    I said we can have a challenge every day we can upload on wechat moments the numbers of steps we did at the end of the day as well as our body after workout. This serves as a motivation for both of us. I proceeded to upload my steps for that day as well as a picture of my body after a run. I was toning up as i did not take extreme step to lose weight like those lemon juice diet i was fasting yet ensuring i was not starving i was lucky to escape the common stretch marks.

    She exclaimed :Wah you had a 4 packs. I just said thats the by-product of having a stressful job. As we proceeded out i recalled the rain had just stopped and weather was cold and the xmas lighting was impeccable as a compliment to this scenario.

    I feel a hand surrounded my bicep and i shivered as rachel had positioned her hand around my upper arm. She whispered: i always wanted to do this with a tall guy now that you had slim down it adds to the excitment as you looked like a total stranger.

    Post #38
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    Chapter #16

    Stranger? i mumbled. I looked at her with a wink and became to hum a song slowly: 你是谁 你是谁 忘得爱过我……..

    This is a song from both of our favorite movie the YouTube link for the song us below.

    Aiyo so disgusting she laughed you really think you are takeshi kaneshiro. You still remember this song? I smirked as those days at MNC I always played this song silently whenever I think of my first relationship. There are a few times Rachel overheard me humming while I was in my partition during lunch and she was delivering documents.

    I actually sang it not to act romantic but rather as a way of easing the tension. I told her you know when a girl wrapped her hand around a stranger arm it means one night stand.

    Ya right you think so easy but it’s really nice wrapping around your arm please just walked me to dhobty ghaut mrt as we exited from plaza Singapura she whispered.

    I nodded as we were single then for the first time in many years I felt as a magical ointment had been applied to me numbling all the pain even just a few minutes.

    Post #42
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    Chapter #17

    Dear all last input for the night thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I may decrease the number of input tomorrow as I need to fly off to kl for work trip.

    I am terribly sorry if this story is kinda draggy as I wanted to do the ladies justice by adding depth to them. Here’s goes.

    We parted way at the entrance of dhobty ghaut mrt she stayed at toa payoh whereas I stayed at Delta. I could have followed her in and alighted at tiong bahru however woman and mrt station combination was a deadly poison to me.

    I waited at yew tee mrt for 2 weeks skipping classes everyday from 730 am till 11 pm just for a conclusion. That conclusion never came through waiting this was after all not an idol sitcom but it taught me waiting was always the toughest phase in every situation be it waiting for a break up conclusion or siting outside a doctor consultation room waiting to see if you had cancer. Waiting was undeniably the worst part of the package.

    I reached my home purchased a subway sandwich and broke my fast for that day - I had only black coffee earlier on. Once home I laid out my laptop and back to reality scouting for new pitching tag lines. A part of me was still thinking of that moment her hair smell there was no hint of perfume on Rachel which I was kinda happy at least she still kept her simple lifestyle somewhat somehow.

    I scout the net for tagline to be used for the xmas menu. First time in this job I faced the difficulties of stuck at my wits end. I looked at the calendar I have up till Wednesday to come up with a tagline and concept and Tuesday was the team building event. Suddenly I heard a vibration it was my wechat message greeting from Rachel and picture of her in black yoga pants and white shirt with 2 black bra strap sticking out.

    Post #43
    6 comments
    Chapter #18

    I had few pm asking me several questions. Below is my answer.

    This story is real and i did wait daily from 730 am till 11 pm at yew tee mrt as she mentioned that she will reached yew tee around 745 am thus i waited. I guessed she never lived near yew tee perhaps she she lived somewhere near and took other transport after we left.

    I stopped after 2 weeks as i felt like a stalker and extremely tired. I did watsapp her daily saying i be waiting in yew tee for 2 weeks .

    After the horrible phone call i received people might assumed i slim down etc. I was 118kg then for me walking was a chore let alone slim down. In fact i dared not even looked in mirror for months resulting in uneven shaves and cuts on my neck. All i ever wanted in my first relation was a proper closure but the ending taught me black pill and self care.

    Back to story. Rachel had definitely became more daring. Perhaps it was in her all along but it only surfaced when we were not longer colleagues. I looked at the picture wondering whether should i dare her for more it was close to 12 am. I did not as i was too exhausted thinking of my tagline and this night had been special so far i did not want to tarnish it at least not this night.

    I looked out my window it was drizzling my heart had started to beat a bit faster a feeling i had when i was in my mid twenties. Its been 9 years and i had slimmed 40 plus kg.

    At the age of 32 till now i had prayed to a thai deity known as ajarn fon some senior might knew or worshipped him.

    Ajarn fon was a man who was born with no nose making him hideous but he learnt great magic till his in born talent making him a master of great metta aka ren yuan.

    I prayed in front of his bucha not asking for love as it will be a disrespect but for protection. Protection against all harm i rather chopped off a limb than to wait another day fruitlessly.

    I muttered a set of mantra my heart was still beating thinking of rachel. Screw it i thought if one mantra was insufficient i will chant till i became exhausted which i did and fell asleep.

    I was awoke at 6 am by another wechat picture

    Post #50
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    Chapter #19

    Once again thank you all for taking the effort to read and do pardon my english. I have this bad habit of not vetting through my lines until it has been posted then do i realised there are several grammer mistake.

    I am currently in kl thus input will be low this few days. When i penned this story i an also reading through my diary for that period of time trying to invoke the exact emotions during those days. This story is going to be a draggy one as a person does not get from point A to point B instantly. Here goes:

    It was 6 am i saw the wechat icon message people might assume i was going in for the kill or at least excited as there was only 1 wechat contact at that time. For me i was horny like hell as i just woke up with a hard rod but it was not the first time i engagged in wechat video sex etc.

    I been in tagged and wechat search for 3 months prior to this after i reckon i am kinda decent looking. I am very fair skin being credited to my mother heritage. I was by no means handsome just presentable clean cut and fair. I started tasting tagged and wechat sweetness one after another.

    Pinay girls are the easiest i had a taiwan female teacher several milf mother from malaysia. No i did not jack off in front of screen as i am not a smart guy but neither was i retarded. It was always a dare for them to remove clothings while i kinda ahem ahem. I once had a girl from singapore polytechnic giving me a bj from wechat search. She was looking for a buddy to train with her and i managed to convince her after i showed her my before and after. She blocked me afterwards but i had my share of fun and i am no stranger to being blocked or being let go.

    I wanted to open the wechat to see whats in store for me but a sensible voice in my mind told me do it after your morning run and workout. I been engaging in either body weight training and run alternating but every weekend i will spent 2 hours doing both. 1 hour circuit training and 1 hour run in fact as i am penning this story now i am in hotel gym. Every paragraph means a set of chin up or dips and 500 steps of walking round the gym.

    Motion creates emotions. This line was taught to me by a great mentor. He told me always pitch an idea while you are in motion rather than glued to your seat as you will be more creative so in a way rachel is very important to me as i wanna reply to her after a workout when i am.in my creative and stressfree state.

    I went for a run follow by circuit training. It was 930am after my workout cool down and shower. I opened the wechat it was indeed from her it includes a welfie photo of us several years back as well as a welfie of us last night at coffee house also attached was a samsung health steps of 8000 plus steps for sat.

    I was puzzled i checked the time of message 0558 am so for her to achieve 8000 plus steps she must been walking for at least a hour plus perhaps at a span from 4 plus am till now.

    I reply to her wechat: you never slept yesterday?

    Post #61
    1 comments
    Chapter #20

    Its was only 4 hours later while i was in the hotel restaurant entertaining some bloggers did i received the wechat message.

    Rachel: sorry i just woke up too tired as last night cannot sleep.

    Me: What happened. Your house haunted? I can lend you a thailand sea shell biagae used to expel ghost. I think you became prettier so all tiko ghost started to haunt you.

    Rachel: siao you still wear thailand stuff.

    Me: ya wearing for ren yuan hoping people see me wont dislike me you know my history in that place.

    Rachel: you changed a lot should attract some positive reaction from.charbo. i almost cannot recognise you.

    Me: how you know its me my attire is different now all slim fit from 43 size to 32 ultra slim fit lei.

    Rachel: your manner of walking you like to scratch your backside and also adjust your underwear as you told me your pant too tight so your backside will be itchy.

    I thought some habit never die.

    Rachel: last night i kept looking at our welfie.

    Post #63
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