-
You agree a time and quiet space to have a short talk. You also agree that during this period neither of you will swear, shout, leave and that each of you will listen intently to the other.
-
You toss a coin to see who should speak first.
-
The person elected to go first can speak for 5 minutes – without interruption – and then must stop.
-
Next, the other person can have his or her say for 5 minutes.
-
You can then jointly have another 5 minutes during which you can discuss the points raised in a calm and respectful way.
-
After 15 minutes (in total) you must stop and do something else entirely – unless you both really want to carry on talking. But whatever happens, the whole thing must not go on for longer than a total of 30 minutes. It’s a good idea to have something definite to do afterwards – like going out to see friends or to the cinema. That way, you have to leave the conversation and do something else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Torch_Man
不管是男人还是女人，你们都要清楚，自己的女人自己不哄，总有喜欢哄她的男人；自己的男人自己不捧，也总有 乐意捧他的女人。看看生活中的现实，很多 出轨的夫妻，其实仅仅只是想找一个哄她或捧他的人而已。由此看来，在婚姻生活中，男人务必要懂得一点儿哄女 人的技巧，女人也一定要学一点捧男人的方法。这 不叫虚伪，这叫智慧。。
1.家是讲情的地方、不是讲理的地方
这句话是我 与老婆吵了多年的架后明白的一个道理。夫妻之间不可能不吵架的，但是千万不要因一点小事纠缠不休，非要讲清 楚不可，有些事情是不需要说清楚的，说清楚反而 效果不好。同时，更别叫对方认错，即便道理在你的一边。因为夫妻之间吵架没有胜负的，不必分出输赢。反而要 睁只眼闭只眼；不但如此，还需要用你的真情去维 护才能保持一个真正的家。.
2.诚实很重要
男人们在外应酬时，有时总是喜欢隐瞒实情，说一些谎话来对付老婆。其实，只要不涉及工作，就没必要编什么“ 在开会”、“在加班”之类的幌子哄骗老婆。因为，说一句谎言往往要用十句话才能掩盖，还难免出 错，多累啊。
3.巧做“妻管严”
适当的“妻管严”没什么不好的，“妻管严”的家庭往往能长久。同时，这种男人往往心里明白，老婆承担了很多 的苦和累，所以甘愿被“妻管严”，他们很多时候，拒绝了一些非重要的聚会，而是下班回家帮助妻子做饭、炒菜 、洗碗等家务事。不仅如此，这种男人往往不会斤斤计较。
4.不指责老婆的唠叨
女 人一般来说只有在自己喜欢的男人面前才比较爱说话，爱唠叨的。也许男人那天因工作不顺，或刚好与同事闹了矛 盾，而此时老婆却像一只不知疲倦的小鸟一样，在 你面前叽叽喳喳的，使你的心情更加烦躁。但你千万不过多指责她，你只需要和她说：亲爱的，我很疲累，让我单 独休息一会儿。
5.男人要有承担养家的责任感
男 人勇敢地担负起养家的责任，不论老婆是独立型还是小鸟依人型的，即使老婆现在同你一样工作着，每月拿或多或 少的薪水，你也要把自己当作家里的顶梁柱！看到 老婆回家累了还要做饭的时候，男人要说：“这么辛苦，我来养你吧！”明智的老婆也会想到你的辛苦，得到了关 心和承认，老婆的工作干劲会更大！
6.纪念日一定要记牢
老 婆的生日，各种节日，纪念日，你不大张旗鼓庆贺也罢，但是要记得送礼物给她；你不送礼物也罢，但是要请她与 你共度晚餐；你不请她吃饭也罢，但要记得带束花 给她；你嫌送花浪费也罢，那就给她买点她喜欢的小零食；你不买零食也罢，但要记得电话问候一下，最不济也要 发个有意义的短信给她。你忘了发短信也罢，那就 等着她埋怨你吧.
7.对老婆要心细
在她生理周期的那几天，男人一定要心细，注意老婆的饮食，适当的给她做一些补血的食品，她一定会感觉自己很 幸福。.
8.要懂得赞美
男人一定要赞美自己的老婆，你不赞美自己的老婆还能去赞美谁呢？除非你脑子进水了。
9.君子动口不动手
如果因为两口子吵架，男人动手的话，会遭到所有人的鄙视的，那样的话，你的婚姻就危险了。
10.双方共同进步
女人要学习充实自己，男人一定要鼓励。这样能长期保持二人的某种平衡，不至于差距拉的过大。你能想象一个研 究生和一个小学还没毕业的人生活在一起吗？
jz sharin,
Torch
Hi! bro please check your quote…can’t read lah!!!!!
In your 30s
Statistically, by their early 30s most people have opted for a steady relationship.
At present, the average age of first marriage for women is 29.5, and the average age for men is about 31.
Naturally, lots of people aren’t married.
But a lot of them have ‘settled down’, in the sense that they’re living with someone – whether of the opposite, or the same sex.
There’s really no doubt that this trend towards ‘stability’ is a good thing for most men and women, and for society.
It reduces the number of sexual infections, and in fact STIs are much less common in the 30s than they are among younger adults.
Also, if children ‘come along’, they should (one hopes) arrive into a home that provide them with a steady, loving and caring environment.
From the sexual point of view, the characteristic feature of couples in their 30s is that they have started to get used to each other’s bodies and start to realise what the other person wants. But don’t take anything for granted!
At this stage of life, it’s important to make sure that the two of you do communicate in bed and that you ask your partner about what he or she needs.
Don’t be shy about this.
You shouldn’t hesitate to say things like the following:
- ‘That’s not quite where my clitoris is. Could you try touching and rubbing me an inch lower down.’
- ‘Actually, that hurts a bit when you do that. Let me show you how it’s done.’
- ‘Sorry, but you’re doing it too fast for me at the moment. Could you please slow down.’
- ‘I’m nowhere near coming yet, so please can we just take our time!’
- ‘It would be great if you would touch me with your tongue – right here.’
By the time a 30-something couple have been together for some years, then really they should be able to be frank with each other in bed.
But do remember that none of us react well to harsh criticism – so always try to be respectful and kind when you’re encouraging your partner to do things differently.
jz sharin,
In your 40s or 50s
The peak time for divorce in UK marriages is currently about 11 years, after the wedding.
So, although many divorce and relationship break-ups do occur in the 30s, these sad events often happen in the 40-plus age group.
How can you prevent such a thing happening to your relationship?
Here are some suggestions.
- At all costs, keep talking with each other: non-communication is the deadly enemy of marriage.
- If there are any signs of a problem, do find someone experienced to whom you can talk
- Don’t make the crazy, but all-too-common, mistake of thinking that
adultery
will help.
- Don’t get involved in wife-swapping – this is quite common in the 40-plus age group, and it usually leads to big trouble.
- Steer clear of orgies and group sex.
These activities have made a bit of a comeback in the first decades of this century because people have forgotten about the dangers of
AIDS
and other infections.
Remember: if the going gets rough, the best thing to do is to sit down and talk.
Now, if you’re a woman, you may find that when you want to talk, your partner will avoid this at all costs.
This is because men tend to feel that a serious discussion will lead to arguments. They also fear it will go on and on – and when people are busy, this is the last thing they want.
For this reason, we suggest something called the 5-minute rule. Men tend to find this much easier to cope with than an open-ended conversation.
What you do is this.
The 5-minute rule is a good way to discuss difficult or contentious subjects.
jz sharin,
Over 60s
Even when you’ve turned 60, you can still enjoy a vigorous and entertaining sex life together. Not everyone realises this fact.
Only recently, we were approached by a firm of solicitors, who needed help with a divorce case. These lawyers were absolutely convinced that scarcely any men over the age of about 45 ever had sex.
In reality, this is nonsense.
It’s now known, since the days of the great American sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, that those even at the age of 70 (about 70 per cent of men) are still sexually potent.
And these days, most men can make love if they want to – thanks to the discovery of medications like
Viagra
,
Cialis
and
Levitra
.
What about women? We still find that there’s a lingering belief that ‘females don’t have sex once they’ve passed the menopause’. This is wrong.
Although some females do find that ’the change of life’ offers them a convenient time to bow out of an activity that they never enjoyed much anyway, a lot of other women report that after the menopause they have a wonderful time in bed!
One reason for this may be the fact that by 55 or 60, they can enjoy sex without worrying about pregnancy. Also, they often feel confident about themselves, and have lost any hang-ups about getting great pleasure from their bodies.
No wonder then that in our research, we have found that a lot of females first learn the art of multiple orgasm when they are past the age of 60.
Mind you, not everything is plain sailing in this age group.
A large proportion of women encounter problems with vaginal dryness, due to the drop in female hormones that’s occurred at roughly age 50.
But it’s easily treatable, with pleasant sex lubricants or (if necessary) with vaginal hormone creams.
We must point out that not all mature women want uproarious sex.
In a recent survey carried out by one of us:
- 26 per cent of ‘baby boomer’ women said that they were definitely keen on sex
- 29 per cent said that they quite liked it
- 27 per cent said that they didn’t like it much (or at all)
- 16 per cent said they’d feel like it, if they got a new partner.
In this age group too, the key to sexual happiness is
communication
.
If you have a partner, don’t be afraid to talk to him or her about your needs. And if you don’t have a partner, remember that it’s never too late to start a new and fulfilling relationship.
One final note: because so many mature people are enjoying sex nowadays, rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in this age group have been rising. So, please take care, and always practise safe sex.
jz sharin,
folks,
hw was d topic on
Having a great sex life – the importance of communication
do comment…..
bin rather bz recent wks,
plus plenty of MRT or transportation issues in spore,
alot of deadline to meet at yr end…..
jz sharin,
Sex is not only a great way to maintain a healthy relationship,
but it’s also a fantastic way to maintain a healthy you.
Obviously when the mood strikes, the last thing on your mind are the long-term health benefits,
so we have listed them here for you.
jz sharin,
torch man, any idea on how to unlock the wow factor in a r/s?
Felt sth is missing after being with a gal for more then 1yr.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Torch_Man
may ejaculate far too soon
For the above i tried using gambir and so far so good, it seems to work.
Those interested can get it from
if you want to try
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Torch_Man
Obviously when the mood strikes, the last thing on your mind are the long-term health benefits
So true
Improves self-esteem
Having
self-esteem
is important for not only yourself but for those around you.
How you feel about yourself in the world dictates how you interact with it; and so can be a deciding factor on how you live your life both socially and at work.
Having the kind of sex you want when you want it can make you happier within your own skin. Being with someone who loves you for who you are and gives you what you need, can be a great confidence booster just for you.
fyi:
there will a chapter on
self-esteem
jz sharin,