folks,
Questions:
- r u very “busy” towards ur spouse/partner??? but got time for outside??
- hw frequent do u make love within a wk?? izzit spouse or…….??
- is it while having kids?? (link from above question)
- or 2 independent lifestyle but r married oredi?? (link from above question)
- hw do u find such topics being discuss??
do comment……..
we r all simple but lonely creatures living in tis world,
carvin for simple tender lovin care from others onli…………….
jz sharin,
Work woes: sex difficulties in busy people
Lifestyle changes to reduce stress
You also need to make some lifestyle changes that will benefit your mental and physical health – and impact positively on your love life.
Eat breakfast
It is crazy to skip breakfast when it only takes three minutes in the microwave to make some porridge. This is a good way to start the day.
Oats give you a slow-release of energy and line your stomach before a tension-packed day. Or eat some muesli or another healthy cereal. If you can’t face that, at least eat a couple of bananas.
Take a lunch break
You may say no-one in your office takes lunch, but why not be the exception? If you can get out of the workplace for half an hour and get some fresh air, you will feel more relaxed.
On days when you have to eat in the office, try ordering in salads, fruit and nuts. This is good fuel for your hard working body.
Drink more water
Make full use of the water cooler. People often get more tense and irritable when they are dehydrated. You will feel better if you drink water all day and cut down your coffee intake to a maximum of two or three cups a day.
Exercise more
Somehow you need to get some exercise. If you look carefully at your timetable, you should be able to find the odd half hour where you can fit in a workout or go for a swim.
If none of this is possible, get off the bus or train two stops early or park your car a few streets away and walk to work. At the office, take stairs instead of lifts between floors.
jz sharin,
What if I don’t have time to make these changes?
When you are busy and your career is going places, you probably feel you must put work first.
But unless you strive to bring some balance into your life - and you find the time to be loving and close to anyone who matters - you may find that your life begins to feel rather empty and meaningless, despite your healthy bank balance.
jz sharin,
folks,
hw was the topic on
Work woes: sex difficulties in busy people???
comments??
do u feel stressful at work which leads to lesser sex??
was it helpful from those pointers given??
remember:
action is the greater master, than just thinking master onli……
my next discussion/topic shall be:
Premature ejaculation (PE)
jz sharin,
Premature ejaculation
What is it?
Premature ejaculation (PE) means coming too quickly, and it’s one of the most common sexual problems.
In our survey of several thousand British males, approximately 10 per cent of them said that they often or sometimes had this trouble.
We found that it’s commoner in younger men – which is not surprising, as there’s a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older.
However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that many middle-aged men still have this problem. Fortunately, good treatments are available.
In 2010, a new treatment became available in Britain and several other countries – details below.
Definitions
It’s almost impossible to get an accurate definition of premature ejaculation: what some couples consider a satisfactory length of intercourse would be very inadequate for others.
At the 2006 Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, an American research paper reported:
the average lasting time of men with PE was 1.8 minutes ’normal’ men lasted an average of 7.3 minutes.
But there were males who claimed to have premature ejaculation, yet who could last up to 25 minutes. This clearly shows people have wildly differing ideas about what is normal.
At the same Congress, Professor Waldinger reported that 2.5 per cent of men couldn’t last 90 seconds inside the vagina. Those males undoubtedly have PE.
From our own clinical experience, there are plenty of couples who would regard intercourse that lasts under 20 minutes as less than satisfactory, and would feel that any ejaculation in under 10 minutes or so is decidedly premature.
As a working definition, if either you or your partner feels that orgasm is happening too soon, there probably is some degree of PE.
jz sharin,
Does it matter?
In most cases
premature ejaculation
does matter, because it makes people unhappy and frustrated.
And in severe cases
PE
can threaten or even ruin a marriage – simply because it spoils the sex lives of both partners.
Sometimes, the condition is so bad the man can’t have sex because he ejaculates before he can get into the vagina. This can be devastating for a man’s self-confidence. And it can be hugely frustrating and annoying for his partner – especially if she wants to get pregnant.
However, most men merely find
PE
a considerable irritation.
It’s a condition that makes them come very soon after they enter their partner – say, after only a minute or two, so neither party gets a lot of satisfaction.
jz sharin,
guys,
any bros got experience of ejaculating too early??
or situation such as before real bonking, we ejaculated oredi????
i shall start d ball rolling 1st:
durin my younger dys (early 20s) unsure whether due to anxious or too scare before penetration even begin, my ex gf was totally turn-off then.
later realised, its partly mental, partly technique problem.
self learn controlling skill
jz sharin,
What causes it?
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early conditioning.
In other words, the man’s early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick so as to avoid detection. The idea is that this conditions him to climax as quickly as possible.
However, our own surveys have found that many men with
PE
did not have rushed early sexual experiences – though others say they did.
It’s worth noting that from an evolutionary point of view, it’s probable that males who climaxed quickly were more likely to have children. In other words, if you were a caveman who came very fast, you’d stand more chance of impregnating your woman and enlarging your tribe.
Some men seem to be highly triggered right from the start of their sex lives, and we have encountered instances where their fathers were much the same. Therefore, we feel that the tendency to reach orgasm quickly may possibly be inherited rather than learned.
Finally, there’s no question that anxiety or ’nerves’ play a part in many cases of
PE
.
If you’re nervous, you’re likely to come too quickly.
This is why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely.
But we wouldn’t recommend alcohol as a treatment.
So, what can be done for
PE
?
jz sharin,
Treatment for mild cases
If you have mild
PE
– for instance, you can last five minutes but would like to last 10 – there’s probably no point in going to a doctor.
Why? Because you should be able to improve matters by simple distraction techniques.
This means turning your mind to something else when you sense that climax is near. For example, you can think about something totally unconcerned with sex or pinch yourself.
Local anaesthetic gel
Some men try to treat themselves with a local anaesthetic gel that’s applied to the shaft of the penis shortly before intercourse.
This product is advertised to the public as a good way to ‘damp down’ sexual sensation in the penis.
We do not advise using this gel because the local anaesthetic can ‘dull’ the sex sensation for your partner.
It can also cause a distressing skin reaction in either partner, with intense itching, redness and soreness.
‘Long love’ condoms
German scientists have come up with a slightly different approach that won’t cause vaginal irritation.
It’s called the ’long love condom’ and it contains a local anaesthetic (benzocaine or lidocaine) inside it.
Long love condoms are now being sold in many countries, under a variety of brand names.
A few male patients have told us they do last longer with these condoms, but the man is still at risk of a sensitivity reaction to the local anaesthetic.
jz sharin,
Treatment for more severe cases
If
PE
is causing you significant problems, it is best to consult an expert for treatment.
The Masters-Johnson method
This method cures the vast majority of men, provided that both partners are keen to co-operate (which isn’t always the case).
It’s based on a special ‘penis grip’ developed by the American therapists Masters and Johnson. They employed it in a ’re-education’ course lasting weeks or months.
The finger-grip abolishes the desire to climax, so if, under careful instruction, the couple use it over a period of weeks, they can usually re-train the man so he can last much longer.
What does it involve?
- Your partner places her hand so that her thumb is on one side of the man’s erect penis (the nearer side to her when she is facing him).
- Her index and middle fingers are on the other side.
- The index finger is just above the ridge of the glans (the ‘head’), while the middle finger is just below the ridge.
- When the man feels that he’s near to a climax, he tells his partner.
- She then squeezes his shaft firmly between her thumb and the other two fingers. (Don’t worry: it’s painless!)
The programme and the grip can work for male couples as well as for heterosexual ones.
Does it work?
We have seen many men with
PE
who couldn’t last for 30 seconds, but who were able to last as long as half an hour after careful training over a period of months.
However, unless this is done as part of an organised programme, it probably won’t work. We often hear from guys who tried to do it themselves, and achieved nothing.
The Masters and Johnson grip really needs to be demonstrated to you personally by an expert. Most couples who try to learn it from the Internet or a book get it wrong.
Our advice: see a professional.
jz sharin,