Big trouble in little india

The earliest memory I could recall of my childhood was me standing at the side of the pavement and watching a platoon of army boys marching by.

I remembered seeing them covered in mud and grime as they walked past me.

They looked weary, tired and miserable. I remembered clearly a couple of them winking at me, some waved, someone made a face at me, and another waving for me to go back to wherever I popped out from.

I ran back to my dad’s drinks stall after that, happy to be back within my comfort zone.

Most boys my age would have never got a chance to enter a military camp, especially not on a daily basis.

My dad operates a drink stall in a canteen in a military camp. The money isn’t fantastic but it puts food on the table.

He pulls a mean cup of traditional Nanyang coffee and it’s aroma would fill the whole canteen when he makes a fresh brew.

I would run about the stall, monkeying around with the used cups and saucers.

Sometimes I would run to the soldiers that bought snacks and biscuits from my dad, hoping they would throw me a piece.

Sometimes they did. In case you are wondering, the answer is no. My dad may own the stall, but I never get any free snacks from the store. If I wanted anything, I had to pay for it.

I remember being bored most of the time.

I was the only kid around. My dad had gotten some special permission from the camp for me to be in there with him. There’s no other place I could be anyway. I only have him, and he only has me.

Behind the canteen is a small clearing with a cluster of old trees. An old hammock was tied there together with some discarded chairs. This is where the stall owners of the canteen would gather for a smoke or a chat when the day is slow.

The western food uncle, the bee hoon auntie, or the nasi lemak abang.

Everyone smoked.

Thankfully it was a habit I did not pick up. An old beach umbrella further complemented the foliage that the clearing had.

With the gentle breeze coming from the sea just beyond the clearing of the trees, it is a really peaceful and serene place to zone out.

That spot is also my unofficial play area.

I kept a bag of marbles, some old toys and even broken pieces of chalks. I knew where all the potholes are, which trees had cavities big enough for me to hide my toys and pretend they are treasure.

Everyday was an adventure for me as I played on my own. It did not bother me at all that I have no kids my age to play with in there. I just felt really comfortable alone.

As I grew older, I would venture and explore deeper into the forest. The idea of getting lost never occurred to me. Somehow I just knew the place like the back of my hand.

I knew which shortcuts to take to the training and deployment area where the trainees are.

I was spotted once by an officer. He was having a smoke and he gestured me over.

Officer : Ah boy…. 2 cans of 100 plus… how long you need to bring here ??

He gave me 2 $1 bill and I told him as soon as I can.

I ran back to my dad, pass him the money and off I went back into the jungle.

I delivered the ice cold drink to the officer and he shared a piece of his ration biscuit with me.

There, I just developed a new market for my dad.

Delivery on demand even before the concept took hold in the country.

Things like this don’t happen often, most of the time I’m alone, hitting spider webs with my stick or throwing grasshoppers I caught onto the giant web that spans across 2 trees. Then there is the treasure hunt that I play with myself.

You see, when the troops are gone after training, I would scout the area for items that I can pick up and play. Buckles, water bottles, sometimes a belt, pouches, half empty tubes of camouflage cream.

People leave all sorts of shit behind.

I picked up a magazine once. It was half buried in the dirt. Probably dropped off a trainee’s pouch during their exercise.

I ran back and gave it to my dad who was shocked. He immediately handed it to one of the regular officers that frequent our stall.

I don’t remember the officer’s name but I know him to be always wearing his signature smile. His slightly pudgy figure reminds me of a penguin but it’s his friendly demeanour and character that makes him so approachable. He’s like a Santa Claus albeit in green.

He saw the magazine, he turned behind his back and made sure no one is in the canteen before asking my dad to dispose of it.

I heard him say the matter is already closed. Let’s not complicate things by making it appear again.

My dad understood his meaning immediately and I walked with my dad to the same clearing he would have his smoke. We dug a hole and we buried it.

Dad : Never say a word… you understand….

I nodded.

He taught me that a honourable man’s word is worth its weight in gold.

I was too young to understand what it means but I knew I will take that secret to my grave.

Every time after that when I see this officer, he would give me a knowing look and a playful wink, as if trying to tell me there’s a little secret between us. I would smile cheekily, feeling happy to be part of something that is bigger than the usual responsibilities given to me.

Exploring and picking up items will always be an important part of my childhood. It’s my alone time, my precious memories.

Sometimes I will just lie down on the grass patch and look up into the cloudy sky.

I would look up into the clouds and try to imagine how my mother look like.

My dad never said anything about my mother before.

There are no pictures, no memories and no stories of her from him.

He never shared an ounce of information about her with me. He did not even show me their wedding photos.

When I asked him about it, he did not lose his temper, he was always patient with his reply.

And his answer is always the same.

Dad : Mummy…. Is gone… she is no longer around….

Jeff : why are there no pictures or her ??

Dad : they are too painful a reminder for me…..i love her… and she love you… with all her heart…. That’s all you need to know…

That was it.

I think every year during my birthday, I would ask him the same question, and without fail, my dad would give me the same answer.

That was pretty much what I remembered for my early childhood.

By the time I was in secondary school, I came to realise that my birthday, is also my mum’s anniversary. She died during childbirth. She died while giving birth to me.

It hit me hard.

Really hard.

It dawned on me that I’m a murderer. I take away a life when I was born.

Even before I learnt how to walk, I killed someone.

I killed my mother.

My dad accidentally blurted that out during one of our quarrels.

Come on. As a teenager, we’re bound to have conflict with out parents, I’m just like any other rebellious teen wannabe.

I never expected that war of words about me hanging out in the arcade to turn out in such a manner.

A manner which left my dad in tears.

At 14 years old, I understood what heartache meant. I really did.

When I saw the tears in my father’s eyes, it dawned on me how hard things had been for him. For 14 years, he had to raise the child that killed his wife.

Me.

I tried to put myself in his shoes and my heart ached in a way I cannot describe.

The pain must be unbearable. I cannot imagine looking at the very life that takes away someone I love.

Something snapped in me that day.

I don’t know what snapped but something broke. It broke me.

Perhaps it was one of the reason I do what I do for a living today.

My dad apologised for the outburst that day, something he has never done before throughout the years of bickering as father and son.

I sat down opposite my father that day and we just looked at each other. I grew up more within that 30 minutes than I ever did the past 14 years.

Not only did I grow up, I started to shut myself down. I stopped hanging out with friends after school and chose to help my dad out at his drinks stall. I became a lot more quieter, choosing to keep to myself.

Holidays, weekends, whenever I had free time, I would be at his stall. Sometimes even right after school, I will head straight to the canteen and do my homework at an empty table.

After I’m done, I would be by his side, tending to the sporadic flow of customers.

It’s not as if we grew close because of this. We’re close as father and son but there is always this invisible barrier between us.

A barrier between 2 men.

I learnt how to pull a good pot of coffee and tea. I knew the prices of the items we sold by heart.

I knew all the officers and who the powers to be are in the camp.

I knew how each of them liked their coffee, who has a feud with who. Office politics and what naught, I see them up close and personal when I was a teenager.

From the trainees’ gossip, I knew which are the officers that they respect and which are the ones they hated.

The curses they threw in the canteen gave a pretty good picture of their lives in the camp.

I watched many of those trainees pass out from a recruit to NS men. Some of them coming back years later for their reservist.

They would call out to me ‘ Ah boy’ and place their order.

For the regular officers, I watched many climb the ranks, getting promoted and taking on more responsibilities over the years. I grew old with everyone of them. From a scrawny little kid, to a teenager waiting for my O level results.

As a young adult, the soldiers and trainees no longer call me ‘ ah boy’ . They call me ‘Kopi kia’ , also known as coffee boy in dialect.

Yes, a 17 year old kopi kia.

It was during this period where the foundation for the rest of my fuck up life was laid.

I remembered clearly it was during the peak of the training season.

The current batch of trainee hated a officer to the core. I’ve heard complaints and curses over the years but never like this.

This officer is a sadist from the gossips I’ve heard. He takes pleasure in torturing the trainees. Injuries happen almost every day and he would have others shoulder the blame.

Many of the soldiers have their weekends burnt for no reasons at all. He fucked up the shared public phone that operated with phonecards back then, depriving many of the chance to talk to their loved ones.

It’s easy to pass this off as the typical complaints new recruits have but I am hearing the same things from regular officers and specialist alike.

They would huddle at their own table, lowering their volume and looking over their shoulders as they talked about this captain.

Captain Kenneth. From the pictures the gossips painted of this man, he sounded exactly like how a villain should be in the modern age.

His behaviour is very much dependent on his mood. The things he made the trainees do has nothing to do with training them to be soldiers, they were just meant as an amusement of sort to him. Kenneth is one of those scholarly type, elitist mentality who thinks everyone is beneath him.

He would pick on trainees, finding fault when there is none. Kenneth would deliberately drag the timing of the trainees during book out days. Sometimes releasing them only when the sun has set while the rest of the camp has left by lunch.

Insults and curses are never far from his mouth, he even cursed loudly when he is in the canteen. He cuts the queue and demands a fresh pot of coffee to be brewed when he is here.

It didn’t matter if the pot was brewed less than 5 minutes ago. He would demand my dad make a new one, if not, when the canteen stall comes up for review, he says there’s a chance someone else might get the spot.

I still remember the exact words he used till this day.

Kenneth : Everyone wants a stall in the camp you know…. If you don’t want to operate…. Plenty more in the queue….

My dad just smiled and nod as he served him his drink.

Deep inside I knew he was boiling.

I wanted to throw him punch. Do you remember back when you are 17 ?

Do you remember how hot blooded you are when it comes to seemingly meaningless confrontations?

It’s the fucking hormones, we get riled up just from a stare. Seeing how he put down my dad was really a test of my will.

I realised then it took a lot more control to hold back a punch then to throw one.

I also noticed that Kenneth is a penny-pinching bitch. He likes to chalk up his bill to be non- whole numbers. As in, $1.70, $3.10 , $ 2.30. Then he would only pay the dollar value, saying that he would make up for the rest the next time.

He never did.

A fucker to the max.

There is a couple of occasions he came in with a 50 dollar bill to get a cup of coffee.

My dad had no change and that was it. He got the drink for free.

He would judge people by their education level. If you are not up there with him, you are beneath him.

The bitching and complaints by the trainees went on for a while until one day there were rumours that something happened.

Something big.

Kenneth flew into a rage, coming into the canteen and verbally abusing his subordinates.

It seems that there was a near miss accident and he blamed his colleagues for it.

It appears as if one of the trainees attempted to turn his weapon towards Kenneth during a life fire exercise.

Thankfully he was stopped in time.

Kenneth cursed and scolded the junior officers and specialist alike at the canteen. I was shocked when I saw him slap one of them across the face when he said something in reply.

The man being slapped is Owen.

I like Owen.

He is the opposite of Kenneth in terms of character.

Owen is a young lieutenant that just started his career in the military a few years ago. He’s a tall and striking man. When he speaks, there is charisma in his voice and with his 1.85m tall height and well-built body, he looked exactly like the kind of man you would follow into war with.

A stark contrast with the thin and almost scrawny Captain Kenneth.

Owen is a reasonable man and he is well liked by his subordinates. He’s fucking fit as hell too.

I could not hear what he was saying to Kenneth but he looked like he was trying to reason with him over some issues.

Kenneth : FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND !!! I don’t give a fuck… this is on you !

Kenneth went on with his burst of curses while Owen and his men looked on without a word. Then without warning, Kenneth started hitting Owen for no reason at all, taking his anger out on him.

The rest of the men immediately went on to hold Kenneth back. Despite his threats, they dragged him away from the canteen and the eyes of common folks like us.

That very evening while I was packing up the stall with my dad, I saw Owen talking to another 2 of the specialists. They talked softly, looking around every now and then.

When I served them the last orders of the day, they went quiet.

Something that has never happened before. I knew something was up especially when they had to wait for me to leave before going on. I quickly served them their drinks and collected the money before walking away.

I barely got halfway back to the stall when Owen called out to me.

Owen : Jeff….. I need your help….

I looked at him and I did not know what to say.

Owen is a nice person. He is friendly with my dad and he always helps us out by buying up whatever is left on the kueh and currypuff tray at the end of the day when he drops by.

Now that he is asking me for help, I can’t possibly say no can I ?

Jeff : my help ? what you need me to do ?

I don’t know what he is thinking but what can I possibly do to help him ?

They are adults, they should have all the answers and have everything figures out no ?

Owen smiled and he gestured for his men to leave the table. They hesitated before getting up. They planned this together but it’s obvious Owen wanted it to be on him if anything goes wrong.

If it did, he’s going to shoulder it all on himself.

Owen : I need you hide something for me…

Jeff : oh…

Owen : you know the back of the camp like your backyard right… the clearing… the training areas….

Jeff : kind of… why ?

Owen was nice. He put it upfront that he’s not forcing me to do it. He gave me the chance to say no.

Owen : You can say no Jeff… it’s your choice…. But if you agree… you need to go through with it…. Till the end…. A lot of men…. And I meant a lot…. Will be forever grateful to you…

I turned to look behind my back, my dad was nowhere to be seen, probably headed back to the car to grab some stuff.

Jeff: ok… I’ll do it…

Owen smiled and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

Owen : We’re heading out to the field tomorrow night… campsite 2… you know where is it ??

Campsite 2 is pretty close to the canteen. Within a 5 minutes walk through a shortcut from the back of the stall. The same place I delivered the can drinks to the officer when I was young. The trainees however do not have the luxury of taking that shortcut. It would be a good 5km walk for them round the edge of the camp.

Jeff : yes…

Owen : the jungle trail… at the back… it leads straight there…

Jeff : I know… I take it quite often when I was younger….

Owen : I’ll let you know again when to meet after we deploy…tell no one… ok ?

I nodded and he gave me a brotherly tap on my shoulder.

I honestly did not know what to expect when a couple of days later Owen showed up with Kenneth in the middle of the day.

The trainees were deployed for training and Kenneth wanted to come in for a cup of coffee.

Owen placed the order and he told me to take the jungle path to the camp site immediately.

Owen : go all the way to the edge of the campsite…. There’s that old well, sealed up….

Jeff : ok… I know where is it…

Owen : my man left something there for you…

Jeff : what is it ??

Owen : Don’t ask.. take it… hide it…. Don’t say a word… go… now…

I nodded.

I told my dad I needed to go to the toilet and I went back out to the clearing behind the canteen.

Immediately I half jogged and ran up the dry forest path. It’s a well-used route by the regulars to get back to camp. There were hardly any trees and shrubs on the well trotted path.

I heard the scurry of some small animals as I went into the thick secondary forest where the campsite is.

The well is right in front of me, barely 20m away.

I went right up and I cursed under my breath.

Jeff : fuck …..

It’s a weapon. A fucking M16 rifle.

I looked around the area, it was totally empty.

Someone left it there for me.

I was honestly freaked out as I thought about the repercussions for this but I already promised Owen.

Fuck it, I tore a large leaf from a banana tree and I used it to wrap the weapon. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to leave my fingerprints on that shit.

Carrying that rifle, I half ran and jogged back close to the clearing that I played when I was younger. My heart was racing, I checked to make sure the place is clear before heading out.

I went to my favourite hiding spot, a hollowed out section of a dead tree and i put it inside there. I pulled some leaves and covered up the stump.

Then I ran as fast as I could back to the canteen toilet.

I washed my face with water and I went back to the stall.

I was trying hard not to tremble as I watch Kenneth cursing while Owen filled out a stack of documents.

They were well into their 2nd cup of drink.

I was drenched in perspiration.

Dad : Oei… you ok ??

Jeff : Yes… ok.. stomach ache…

Owen did not even look at me. Not even an eye contact.

10 minutes later, Kenneth and him got up and they’re gone.

Just like that.

I was really afraid as the thought of going to jail hit me. This must be the most fucked up shit I’ve done in my teenage years.

As I collected the used cups from the table I was hit with the realisation of what just happened.

Jeff: fuck….

It dawned on me. It finally did.

Owen made me hide Kenneth’s weapon.

Losing that shit is going to unleash chaos upon the whole camp.

It’s going fuck Kenneth’s career up good as well.

I did not have to wait long to witness the mayhem my act plunged the entire camp into.

Everyone, and I meant every fucking person in that camp has been activated to find that weapon.

From clerks to storemen , even drivers , everyone is now out and about searching the camp for the missing weapon.

The canteen operators gathered and watched.

Everyone knew something was up.

Dad : must be something big going on….jia lat…

I kept quiet and said nothing.

The search never stopped.

I kept looking at the time.

The initial nervousness was gone. I don’t know why.

I was calm when I thought about what Owen said.

That a lot of men will be grateful for what I did. This will fuck up Kenneth’s career, he will be gone.

My dad and I were just done cleaning up the stall that day when a group of men entered the canteen.

Kenneth and Owen among them.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw them pause at the entrance talking and gesturing about.

Something is wrong. I could feel it.

There was that tingling sensation in my stomach. I knew it, I knew the cat is about to be let out of the bag.

I excused myself through the back of the stall. I knew I had to protect myself.

I wasn’t really thinking when I went right out to the smoking area in the clearing and I picked up the packet of cigarette left there by the Nasi Lemak Abang. I grabbed one, lit it up with the lighter and took a puff before I choked and coughed out the smoke.

I took a few more puffs before I threw it away.

I walked calmly back to the stall and continued my cleanup.

By then Kenneth and Owen were right at the front of our drinks stall.

Someone was talking to them. A trainee.

He was pointing in my direction.

I expected myself to panic, to freak out, to get down on my knees and cry but no. I was surprisingly calm. I thought of all the times Kenneth took advantage of my dad, the anger and resentment took hold.

I was afraid of course, but I was aroused as well.

Yes, I was aroused. I could feel blood rushing to my groin as I relished that sick feeling.

That excitement. The anticipation.

Someone saw something. Someone saw me do something.

Someone saw me entering the forest and coming out.

If this were any other day, I doubt anyone would say shit about a kid heading into the forest at the back of the camp, but this is not any other day.

It’s a day where everyone’s day is fucked.

When you fucked up everyone’s day, when you messed up their schedule, when you do something that causes inconvenience and pain to others, people will talk. Everyone just wants their life to go back to normal.

Kenneth spoke first. His eyes bearing down on me as if he already passed his judgement.

It was me. I was the one.

Kenneth : WE found something…. Behind…. Near the clearing… where you all smoke…

The other stall holders came out, puzzled and unsure of what’s going on.

Kenneth started scolding and cursing everyone present, saying that whoever did this is going to face the full brunt of the law.

Kenneth : I will personally make sure you never see the light of day….! Fucking Chee bye… you want to play right… you all want to play with me !!

Kenneth went on to say that there is no way the trainees did this, they never left the camp site. The hiding spot is well out of their area of operations.

Kenneth held up a finger and shook it in a threatening manner.

Kenneth : I know people are unhappy with me… want to fuck with me right….right ??!!

He turned to look at Owen.

Kenneth : no one in company will have the balls to do this Owen…. Unless they have …

Owen : what are you trying to say ??

Kenneth : I never said it was you…. Why are you so defensive??

Kenneth and Owen had a good 5 seconds of stare down before he turned to my dad.

Kenneth : Uncle… someone told me…. He saw your son…. Running into the clearing…

My dad turned to look at me and I said nothing.

Dad : JEFF!! Is it you !!…. is it you !!!?

I kept quiet and said nothing. I directed my eyes from my dad to Kenneth and I said nothing.

I may be quiet but the endorphins fired up in my head like national day fireworks. It felt like I was high on drugs.

Staring Kenneth in his eye and remaining calm. It was a feeling that beats me masturbating as a teenager.

Defiant to the core in front of someone I hated.

Kenneth : see… guilty right !!.. I’ll fucking make sure he go to jail I tell you !!! ..

Dad : JEFF!!! JEFF!!! …. Answer me…. Why did you go behind today !!! WHY!!!

I looked up at my father and realised everyone’s eyes were on me including Owen.

It would be useless to deny. Someone saw me.

Jeff : Yes… I went behind today… but I did not have anything to do this this…

Kenneth : WHY… why did you go behind the clearing then !!!

Everyone waited for my answer and I calmly gave one.

Jeff : I smoked…

Dad : what !….

Jeff : I went behind to smoke…

SMACK! …

I felt my dad’s hand slam home across my cheek as he shouted at me.

Dad : you did what !!

Kenneth : don’t fucking lie to me Jeff….!… WHY did you go behind today … I know someone put you up to this… you won’t do this on your own….tell me who… tell me who… and I’ll let it all slide !!

Dad : JEFF !!!.. it’s you isn’t it… it’s you ????

I sniffed and held back my tears.

Jeff : No… It’s not me…

SMACK !!

The blow hit harder this time round and I could taste blood in my gums. I could see my father shaking as he pointed his trembling finger at my face.

Dad : Jeff…. Jeff….. say properly…. Say properly….

I could see the tears in his eyes, tears of desperation. Desperate for answers.

Kenneth : Jeff… tell me… you can be honest with me… tell me… who put you up to it…

Jeff : it’s not me…I really went behind to….

SMACK!! SMACK!!

It was a really hard hit. The first time I felt disoriented in my life.

When I looked at my dad, he was close to breaking down in tears.

He kept apologising to Kenneth, saying that I’m still young. That I don’t know what is going on.

Dad : sorry… sorry …. Sorry Sir…. My son…. He’s still young… he don’t know what is happening….

Jeff : It’s not me…

Before I could finish, my dad started hammering. He punched me.

He fucking punched me so that I would shut up.

I spit out blood onto the floor as I looked up defiantly at him.

Dad : You fucking keep your mouth shut NOW!!!!

My dad broke down completely as he alternated between begging Kenneth to forgive me while raining blows on me as the other people in the canteen looked on.

It went on for about 2 minutes before I collapsed onto the ground, sitting down as I took each blow without even a hint of pain.

There were tears in my eyes, they blurred my vision.

The blood tasted like raw iron and I could feel a long cut in the inside of my cheek caused by my own teeth.

Kenneth : tell me Jeff… who….who put you up to it !!!

Dad : JEFF!! …JEFF!!!! Tell him… for fuck sake just fucking tell him !!!

I sucked in a breath of air and I looked up at the gathering of men.

Jeff : I didn’t do it…

Dad : aRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

My dad lost it and he picked up a mug from a nearby table and hit me across the head as he cried. He broke down.

He completely broke down.

I touched the top right side of my head and I saw blood on my fingers as my dad got on his knees. He begged.

He begged Kenneth to give me a chance.

Jeff : Why are you begging him for….….

Dad : shut up… you just fucking SHUT UP !!!!

Kenneth grabbed me by my shirt and he glared at me. He put his nose close to my mouth and he took a sniff, then he grabbed my fingers and he sniffed them too.

The smell of the cigarette I took.

Another officer I have never seen came up to me. He did the same, smelling my breathe before nodding to the rest of the entourage behind him.

Kenneth took a deep breath before looking at me. The look in his eyes.

The judgement has been passed.

He knows I’m guilty.

Kenneth : it’s you…. I know it’s you…..Tell me who the fuck he is right now….!!! Or I’ll fucking make sure you spend the rest of your life…..

Before he could finish his threat, another group of men entered the canteen.

I saw a familiar smiling figure that I have not seen in years.

That same officer that told my dad to get rid of the magazine. Santa Claus in green.

He appeared with a few aides by his side and it was obvious he’s some kind of big shot even though he was dressed in civilian clothes.

Everyone backed off and made way for him.

He said something to Kenneth then to Owen. Both men walked away after that.

That same officer smiled at me and he pulled me aside.

Santa Claus in green : Ah boy…. I’ll only ask you once….

He flashed me his million dollar smile and told me it’s ok to tell the truth.

Santa Claus in green : Is it you …..? if it is…. Who put you up to it ? haha… is ok… just be honest…. I guarantee nothing will happen to you….

Jeff : It’s not me….. no one asked me to do anything…

Santa Claus in green : ok !… then it’s over… we’ll close this… ok ?

A medic arrived, he gave me the once over and said I should be fine. Just some minor cuts on my head and inside my lips.

I saw the Santa Claus in green talk to Owen before putting his arm around Kenneth and pulling him to a corner of the canteen.

Whoever he is, he is capable of turning Kenneth into a mouse.

My dad refused to talk to me as he finished up clearing the floor of the stall.

I could still feel many pairs of eyes on me and Owen is not one of them.

10 minutes later, it was over.

The Santa Claus in green came over to me and told me everything is fine.

He tells me not to say a word to anyone about what happened inside the camp.

Santa Claus in green : Ah Boy…. Very simple…. Ok… nothing happened…don’t say anything to anyone… don’t tell your friends…. Don’t tell your girlfriend…. No one… can ? …. Can you promise me that ??

I hesitated for a few seconds before I nodded.

Santa Claus in green : I’m Ron… ok… can this be our secret ? like back then ?

I nodded, a smile finally broke on my face as I found myself lowering my guard against this man.

Ron nodded his head and I saw him wave to my dad from where he sat, legs spread and palms resting on his knees like a boss.

Ron : alright then…. Ah Boy…. Sure you never take anything right ??

I nodded and replied.

Jeff : I never took his rifle. ….

Ron smiled and nodded.

He got up, tapped me twice on my shoulder before giving me a wink.

Ron : No one said it was a rifle….

The looked on my face betrayed me immediately and I could not believe how stupid I was.

My throat felt dry and I knew the game is over.

I can try to explain myself, I can think of reasons, but it was no use.

The look on Ron’s face told me everything.

He knew.

That knowing smirk.

He knew if right from the start.

Still, he said nothing.

Turning away, he walked casually out of the canteen with a swagger.

I went out to my dad’s car. He was sitting in it waiting for me.

I got in and he did not say a word.

It was a good 45 minutes after the mess was sorted out before anyone could leave the camp.

Even upon reaching home, my father did not say anything to me.

I washed up and went to bed.

There is nothing more to say.

What I did not expect though was for Owen to show up at our place.

At 11.30pm at night.

I remembered clearly that Owen knocked on the door for a while before it jolted me awake.

When I came out of my room, my dad was up as well.

He opened the door and came face to face with Owen.

They exchanged a look for 2 seconds before my dad turned and look at me.

Then without a word, my father went back to his room.

I walked to the door where Owen was and no words were exchanged.

What can I say ?

What can he say ?

He nodded at me, and extended his hand.

I took it and we shook hands as if we concluded some business deal.

It felt good.

Like I close some big sale as a salesmen.

If only I knew at my tender age back then I did seal a deal.

I did sell something that night.

I sold my soul, my conscience, and my life.

All to the devil.

……………………………………………………………………………

A few weeks after the incident, Kenneth is gone.

Vanished. Reassigned or whatever fancy word people can come up with.

He is no longer around. The word is he has been transferred away to another camp.

Some say he is being put on administrative duties.

No one really cares.

Peace finally returned to the camp.

The breezy peaceful clearing still stands and is still one of my favourite spot to hang out.

I’m old enough to drink in the blink of an eye and my favourite part of the day would be to open up a beer and just sit at the hammock after closing up the stall.

I completed my tertiary education in a polytechnic while continuing to help out at my dad’s stall whenever I could. I was pretty much the loner in school, someone who is there but pretty much invisible.

People know I’m part of the class of course but I’m not within the hip and happening group.

I’m not in the group of rejects either. I just floated around and got my diploma with mediocre grades.

I enlisted at the age of 19 a few months after graduation. I may have grown up in a military camp but I always knew it was not the kind of life for me. I’m all about the get it over and done with attitude.

It’s only 2.5 years. Just serve and fuck off.

Unlike my peers though, I never made it pass the basic military training in Pulau Tekong.

2 weeks in, my father passed away. He suffered a heart attack in the same hammock he loved so much in the clearing behind his stall. He passed away in his sleep.

I was given 2 weeks off to attend to the wake and other necessary matters. I don’t even remember what the fuck I did during that 2 weeks. Clearing out the stall, handing over to another operator who is the cousin of the Nasi Lemak Abang.

Less than 10 people attend my father’s wake. We kept to ourselves mostly and most of the visitors are people from the canteen.

Owen was there too, a couple of our neighbours who stayed in the same block in Bedok.

That was it.

I was all alone.

Life sure is full of surprises.

By the time I was back to camp, it was too late for me to join in the training. My friends had moved on ahead. I was considered a drop out and it was going to be a few months before I could rejoin another batch of trainees.

I was transferred out to be a storeman for a couple of weeks before someone paid me a visit.

Owen.

He appeared out of the blue dressed in jeans and a Polo T in front of my company line with my commanding officer by his side.

He asked to speak with me alone.

And he made me an offer.

Owen : Jeff…. Would you like to work with me ? ….

Jeff : what do you mean ?

Owen : A job …. I’m offering you a stable job… good pay…. Benefits…

I shook my head and told him I don’t understand.

Jeff : You want me to what….? Pursue a career with the military ?? sorry … I’m… I’m really not a military kind of guy…

Owen laughed and shook his head.

Owen : No…of course not…. I’m no longer with the military by the way… I’m…working directly with the …. Defence ministry…

Jeff : what’s the difference ?

Owen laughed and asked me to think about it.

Owen : It’s not going to be a walk in the park…… but what have you got to lose ? or is there someplace else you rather be ?? The storeroom ? …. Taking stock of inventory??

There was a brief pause as I looked at the blank wall behind Owen.

Jeff : Is it going to be better than what I’m doing now ??

Owen : You mean as a storeman ?? hahah.. of course…

I nodded and I agreed right away.

Jeff : Alright…. I’ll do it…

Owen smiled and extended his hand again to me.

The handshake from hell.

I fucked my life up bad that day.

I fucked it up so bad that it was hard to even put it in words. I was young, naïve and ignorant. If that same offer was made to me today, I would have told Owen to fuck off.

Anyway, I was pulled out of the military and the next thing I knew, I was in another country, Malaysia.

There was a plane ride. A long car ride.

Another car ride before I arrived in the middle of nowhere.

Then there was the jungle.

There is the training.

Physical, mental, educational.

There is no Rambo style kind of Hollywood shit by the way. A routine, yes, learning, yes, knowledge transfer, yes. Music blasting in the background while I crawl through mud while it rained, no.

Lifting logs and doing butterfly kicks on the beach, no.

It was like school. Secondary school.

There’s a classroom but there is only me.

Me and the lecturer.

There is a timetable, there are classes I needed to attend. I get to rest, to sleep, then I wake up and the day repeats.

I was cut out from the rest of the world for an entire year.

I could not even make a phone call, not that I have anyone I needed to call.

There were no indication of when I would graduate or finish whatever fuck Owen wanted me to do.

I lived and slept in fear everyday.

I was honestly scared. It’s like being dumped in the middle of nowhere and having to figure out this shit on my own.

I may not have much experience in life but I have common sense.

Something that many lacked these days.

It’s the things that were taught to me that scares me.

I learnt the human anatomy the same time I was taught how to use a knife. I learnt how to sever muscles and arteries from flesh and bones.

I was taught how to perforate a stomach if I ever need to dispose of something that has one.

What the fuck.

Why would I need to dispose of anything with a stomach ?

I remembered the lady with gold rim glasses saying gas in the stomach builds up during decomposition. Gas fills up, it rises. Perforate all organs that gases can build up, no gas build up, it won’t float.

I was taught what is the best way to deprive someone of oxygen. I shit you not, that is the title on the manual given to me.

The fucking titles they come up with on my training manual. The person writing it sure has a sense of humour.

I learnt how to shoot of course, with a variety of weapons.

I learnt how to drive, to ride a bike, to start a boat.

Then the Orang Asli came. The indigenous people and oldest inhabitants of Peninsular Malaysia.

Jeff : are we going to like hunt…. ? survive in the jungle or some shit ?

The trainer introduced himself as Shukri.

He gave me an raised eyebrow and shook his head.

Shukri : yo brother…. Come on…. Singapore got how much jungle for you to hunt and survive ? … you hungry go supermarket buy food la…haha

Jeff : oh… hahah…

Shukri was there to teach me how to take a life.

That of an animal.

He taught me how to do it quickly, cleanly with respect.

Everytime I took a live, I looked into the eyes of my subject.

I could feel the heartbeat of the small quail in my palm increase when it saw Shukri demonstrated what I needed to do to it’s friend.

Things like these messes with your head. It fucks with your mind.

The fear that helpless quail had while sitting in my palm.

Shukri waited for me to follow suit and I did it swiftly, ending the life of that bird in a snap.

I’m not proud at all of what I did but there was no point in prolonging the suffering.

I was taught to kill all manners of livestock, from a cuddly rabbit to a full grown cattle.

Each time I ended the life of a living thing, I knew at the back of my head it was a matter of time before I graduate to something else.

This was what Owen wanted me for.

A nobody. Someone who had nothing left to lose.

I was taught how to deal with explosives by a Hungarian man call Yusuf.

I learnt how to rig up someone simple with everyday household items. I learnt how to handle military grade explosives.

I was kept on a strict diet and workout regime.

My body is not mine to control.

I cannot have 6 packs that are too defined as if I’m some manhunt model.

I can’t have bulging biceps that looked like I overdosed on steroids.

I’m just supposed to be 64Kg and to look slim. I am strong, but I can’t look the part.

I’m supposed to look normal. It doesn’t matter I can run 2.4km in 8 minutes flat. I can’t run at that speed, I’m not supposed to run at that speed.

I had to attend chemistry classes taught by a Israeli.

Everyday I get wacked like a sandbag by a North Korean instructor who teaches me offensive moves.

Every evening I get wacked again by a Indian guru teaching me defensive moves.

Some afternoons a thai instructor will pop by and by the end of the session, it would be a struggle just to stand upright.

I was taught how to read people’s expressions and reactions by a Chinese man who turned out to be a professor in some university.

I was cramped with information but there were no test. Nothing.

No one came to make sure I remembered everything that was taught.

There was no need for that.

9 months in and I could easily work up a sweat while sparring with my instructors.

When Owen finally showed up after about a year later, you could probably guessed the first words that came out of my mouth.

Jeff : Fuck you Owen… fuck you !…

Owen : hahahaha…. Ouch…. Well…. Congrats on completing your basic training.

He offered me a hug and I gave him the finger which he laughed it off.

I stepped foot back into Singapore after a full year.

I felt disorientated and displaced.

It was then I realised I was so comfortable being alone with the trainers that I started to feel uncomfortable around other people.

I find it hard to believe I had to learn how to integrate and blend in with people.

The flat my dad left behind was kept in a immaculate condition. Everything was left exactly the way it was. Owen made sure of that.

What about money ? I had plenty of it.

Owen paid me and he paid me well. There was no need for me to spend a single cent.

Back in Singapore, I was given a range of roles to play and companies to work at. From logistics firm to a driver to a hawker. I did it all, hopping from role to role, job to job in the industry itself.

By the time I turned 23, I could act like a fool. I can joke like a seasoned joker, I can even play the role of a studious college kid.

I can even write erotic literature on a sex forum.

I can be the young adult you see going for an interview, or I can be the random guy walking pass you at the train station.

I can be anyone. A student, a boyfriend, a geek. Anyone.

I knew it was a matter of time before I got my first project as they call it.

Project.

Fancy name for a fancy job.

You will always remember your first time.

Unlike the fanfare of a Hollywood style execution, What we do is actually more subtle.

Unnoticeable.

Why ?

Well, because this city thrives on order.

Order maintained by the rule of law.

The challenge is not to take a life, but to do it without anyone knowing about it.

Who gives me the right to take a life ?

Who gives Owen the right to decide whose to take ?

A chicken and egg question that is really hard to answer and I gave up trying to figure it out.

My first project was a man call Malcom. Malcom Khoo.

So what exactly did Malcom Khoo do ?

This is how the process goes.

Owen runs the company.

No one knows how many staff like me exists except him.

He reports directly to the powers to be, whoever the fuck that is.

When a target is identified, Owen does not make the call alone to proceed.

A standalone audit department goes through the materials and information gathered, gives the green light, and a call comes to me. There, independent verification from a neutral party.

Once the audit department gives the green light, it will be pushed over to me.

Malcom is a hot shot banking executive working in town. At 30 years old, he has everything a guy would dream off at that age.

A career, money, a convertible and even a nice condominium in Marina Bay. He is the furniture in the most happening clubs, popping champagne like no tomorrow.

His money is clean.

His character though, is not.

May 2007

Malcom has a penchant for girls that are old. Real old. He was the suspect in a rape case but was never convicted. The victim was 68. She later committed suicide.

Another incident was a near miss of a 51 year old. The woman was traumatised, but Malcom paid his way out.

Owen has people on Malcom ever since. News like this would be hard to swallow even if published.

Not only does Malcom prey on the random stranger on the street, he bought his way into a nursing home. Owen has a collection of photos documenting Malcom paying off the nursing staff in the nursing home late in the evening.

He would enter the home and appear an hour later in the same manner an adult would pay for a hooker. He preys on the helpless elderly. People who had difficulty even expressing themselves.

From the document dossier given to me, I could see that Malcom’s computer is full of nude photos of prominent models and bloggers as well. He does some freelance photography as a hobby and he blackmailed several of his models after they agreed to a nude shoot.

All of them kept quiet for fear of their photos being exposed on the net. So, he ends up fucking them for free whenever he wants to.

The final nail in the coffin for Malcom came in the form of a video.

It was a video of him forcing himself while drunk on a 65 year old auntie collecting cardboards for a living.

The lady ran but Malcom went after her.

All these are captured in graphic detail via a camera phone. It’s shaky and blur but clear enough for anyone who sees it to know what is going on. The person taking it laughing and spurring Malcom on.

Malcom went to the house of the Auntie and came into contact with her granddaughter who is only 12.

The rest is no longer important.

So with these information on hand, it’s easy isn’t it. Pass it to the authorities, viola. They arrest him, splash his face across the paper, spend shitload of tax payers money to convict him, then spend more of our money to keep him fed, clothed and safe behind bars for the next 2 decades.

Just lock him away and forget about him while the rest of the victims live the rest of their life with the trauma of Malcom’s deeds.

No , of course not. It’s not that simple, it’s rarely that simple.

First, the person taking the video is politically connected to someone in a neighbouring country. We can’t touch him for geo political reasons. The big picture as they call it. The video cannot see the light of day because that person is never on the scene if you get my drift.

Second, people like Malcom, he will never stop.

Malcom needs to go.

He needs to go quietly and cleanly, like he never existed.

Owen : All the information is all there…. Can you do it ?

Jeff : yes….

Owen : First time is always the most memorable…. Do you need me to be there ?

Jeff : No…

Owen : How are you going to do it ?

Jeff : Do I need to tell you that ?

Owen : hahaha… as long as the job gets done…. And don’t get caught… draw what you need from the storeroom. You have 2 months.

I followed Malcom for a month before making up my mind.

I didn’t even need anything from the storeroom.

I simply waited for him to go for his run. He likes to run at MacRitchie reservoir along the jungle trail on Wednesday before his workday.

It was 6am on a weekday.

I watch his convertible pull into the carpark and I did my own stretching. Time to loosen up the muscles.

I let him get a 3 minute headstart before I started on the trail behind him.

I caught up with him in no time and I could see him about 20 paces in front of me.

There was no one behind me, I felt the rush of adrenaline as I opened up my steps and caught up to Malcom.

He did not even have time to react. Using my shoulder I bump him to the left, causing him to tumble down the side of the slope and into the edge of the water.

Malcom : hey !! arghhh!!! argHHH!!!…

He tumbled and rolled for a few seconds, cursing out in the dark at me.

I paused and waited. That would surely attract the attention of passer bys if anyone was there.

Malcom : hey !! fucker…. You … fuck you !…

I checked the path to make sure it’s clear before jumping off the track and made my way towards Malcom.

He was covered in dirt and he was panting hard. Imagine running flat out and having to take a tumble.

He looked like he was about to throw a punch at me but he never expected me to do what I did.

I ran at him and literally lifted him up and before I tumbled with him together into the reservoir.

Malcom :earehghh !

I took a deep breath as I clung onto Malcom like a koala from behind him and I relax my body, letting my body weight drag him under water.

He struggled, slapping the surface of the water as he tried to swim upwards for air, expanding what little oxygen he had in his lungs.

Malcom wasted a good 5-6 seconds trying to swim with me attached to him like a leech. By the time he realised his mistake, he tried to untangle himself from me but it was too late.

Panic set in. It was dark.

The water is cold. My legs were wrapped around his waist while my hands held onto his head.

I closed my eyes and I could feel the life in him slipping away.

His struggle got weaker. His instinct made him grab at my legs around his body but it was no use. I was wearing long running tights.

I could feel him going into spasm as his lungs filled with water. His hands reached wildly behind his head trying to get me and I just held on.

I could hold my breathe steady for 120 to 130 seconds. The max I did was 148.

It was coming to a minute by my count and Malcom was hardly moving by then.

I held my hold on him and relaxed my body further, letting the current carry us out into the middle of the reservoir.

At the 2 minute mark, I gently let go of Malcom and I surfaced for a breath of fresh air.

I looked at Malcom’s lifeless body a few metres away from me before I swam towards the shore.

I checked to make sure the coast was clear before I continued my run back to the car.

I got to my car, towelled myself dry and drove back home.

I gave Owen a text to tell him it’s done and the location.

He will handle the clean up and the administrative work that follows.

In a couple of days, there will be a small column in the papers about a jogger that lost his footing and fell during his jog and drowned.

Public are reminded to be vigilant when jogging along the dark paths of the park.

Autopsy, post mortem, paper work, all these will be taken care of by Owen and his team behind the scenes.

Owen came to look for me after my 1st project, offering me time off, a holiday. A time out session. I was sent to talk to a shrink who work for the same company. I had to go through evaluation by 2 separate doctors before I was certified fit to continue my work.

Honestly, I was afraid. I felt the fear like any others but I knew what kept me going. If I don’t do this, more innocent people will get harm.

That is what I tell myself every night before I go to sleep ever since I did my first project.

6 years on by 2013, I did 27 projects in all.

I was the best performing employee in the company.

Top in terms of KPI.

I took the lives of 22 men and 5 women.

I remember all their faces.

Every night before I sleep, I would see those faces.

That look in their eyes. That look of realisation of what is happening.

I know when my time is up, I would see those faces again.

I can’t expect myself to go to heaven having done the things I did right ?

Well, I still sleep at night, in the same bedroom, on the same bed, in the same house my dad left me.

I have money, more than I can ever spend stashed in different countries in the region.

I’m being paid 9k a month, and this does not include the bonus for each project.

Bonus for project differs by quite a bit. Criminals like Malcom are pretty low, terrorist pays pretty well, overseas jobs goes for double the rate. You get the drift.

The arrangement with Owen has worked well for me all these years. In fact I was thinking of retirement in a few years.

Then the consolidation came.

Instructions came from the top that Owen need to consolidate his operation. We can no longer operate the way we do. Someone is crying for accountability, documentations, paperwork.

Long story short, Owen needed to shift his operations from various locations around the island into 1 building.

Reorganisation.

A 12 storey building located in little india.

A building with a story of it’s own.

That is where my story begins.

It all starts with the number 6.

Why 6 ?

In the centre of the lobby lies a sculpture of that looked like the universal studio globe but it’s a lot smaller with digital screen running across the axis of the globe. Text runs from bottom up like the ticker tape of news channel.

The metal globe spins and I could see my call-sign appearing on the digital screen.

Hibiki 6 2 7

Owen : Want to know what it means ?

Jeff : Let me guess, 27 projects….?

Owen nodded.

Jeff : What does the 6 mean ?

Owen : You’re number 6.

Jeff : What ?

Owen : yes…

Jeff : I thought I was the top ?? … didn’t you say I was the top ??

Owen gave me a raised eyebrow and added.

Owen :I didn’t know you have such a big ego …. Haha

Jeff : fuck you…

Owen : 1 to 5 retired.

I turned to look at Owen and he immediately added.

Owen : It’s not what you think…. They decided their time is up, they vanished…. In time to come…. I guess you might do the same as well…

Owen gestured to the screen as it changed to feature other call signs before changing to a stationary screen.

E 2 45

W 3 41

S 4 40

N 5 39

Jeff : what is this…. EWNS ? The direction of a compass ?

Owen nodded.

Then the screen flashed again.

Jane 1 97

I blinked twice at the sign and turned to look at Owen

Jeff : You got to be fucking kidding me.

Owen shrugged his shoulders.

Owen : I don’t know man…. These are before my time…. my predecessors…

Jeff : What do you know about them ?

Owen smiled.

Owen : You interested ?

Jeff : Of course… tell me…. Tell me everything…

Owen took a deep breath as he gestured to the building still under renovation.

Owen : It all starts here…. When this was a old 2 storey shophouse… when Singapore first gain independence.

Jeff : They were pioneers ?… of the company.

Owen nodded.

Owen : In a time when chaos reign , we need people who dare to do what needs to be done…

In the same manner which the expressways are currently laid out, the country was divided into 4 sections.

The CTE, central expressway splits Singapore down the middle, separating the east and west the PIE, Pan Island expressway separates the north and south.

Owen : the 4 pillars each took a corner of the island. They did what needs to be done in a manner not too different from what you are doing now.

Jeff : wow…. Fuck… and who the fuck is Jane…. ??

Owen : Oh Jane…. Jane….. haha..

Owen took a deep breathe and told me what he is about to tell me is what he heard from his predecessor.

Owen : Jane…. Is a woman of focus, of extreme dedication …. She is the best the company ever had… she is trained by the 4 pillars themselves.

Jeff : where is she now ??

Owen : How would I know, probably a old woman by now maybe…. I took over this shit just after the Kenneth fiasco. You’re my first recruit man…. Why ? … ahha.. you want to meet her ?? hahahah

Jeff : Well… if she’s real… I would love to…

Owen laughed.

He tapped me on my shoulder and added.

Owen : She’s a black widow…. No one knows how she looks like, she kills everyone that comes into contact with her…. That 97 ? ….. I bet mostly are men… haha…. I’m glad she’s gone though…. Don’t worry… you are still the best performing employee in the company in my eyes…

I watched as Owen walk away to talk to a contractor.

Jane.

Well, sounds like a myth to me after thinking about it.

Probably made up to smoke newbies.

Jane cannot be real.

……………………………………………………………………….

The 12 storey building I work in consists of a lot of other tenants other than us. It’s practically a normal office tower with people in various trades.

Logistics, trading, law firms and even a couple of office suites.

It’s not hard to see that Owen is doing this to pacify the people funding the company. It’s some that needs to be done if we want to continue to operate. He’s not happy but he doesn’t have a choice.

The auditing and research department were housed together on the same floor together with admin and finance.

There’s a separate floor meant for meeting rooms, and discussion areas and a pretty luxurious pantry. That floor is not only open to employees like me, it consists of a virtual office setup and office suites too.

With something like this set up, the number of people coming in and going out of the shared space is pretty big. People of all kinds.

Gig workers, small business owners , the freelancers, you get the drift.

All these people provided the perfect cover for men and women like me to blend in.

I have my own office in a office suite complete with 2 desk for future assistants.

I was the first to move in according to Owen.

A kind gesture for the best performing employee.

After he brought me about, we took the lift down to the ground floor from the 8th.

Jeff : Why would I need assistants ?

Owen : You don’t want a hot secretary ?

Jeff : what the fuck for ?

Owen : we’re considering opening up internship positions….

I gave Owen a look which told him I did not find that funny at all.

Owen : well… I’ll be honest with you….. I have jobs lined up for you… they need you to go in deep for…. Extended periods…. You would need support staff…

Jeff : No I don’t…

Owen : I say you do….

Jeff : I work alone…

Owen : not for the projects I lined up for you… you need help…don’t worry…. I trained him myself….

Jeff : Oh… that pretty much meant you already decided….. and this is just to inform me ?

Owen : Of course… I’m the boss remember ? …. Chill man… he’s a nice chap…. A geek though….and he stays in the office…. No field work… he’s not trained for it…

Jeff : Great… when do I get to meet him ?

Owen : In due time… get yourself familiarised with the office… enjoy the space man… by the way… the food here is not bad…. Come… I buy you lunch…

It’s not often that I see Owen get so excited about something so mundane.

Food. He is never a fan of food. To him, he eat to live.

For me personally, I would say I live to eat.

I enjoy a good meal as much as I enjoy a good cup of coffee.

Owen was literally dragging me along as he checked his watch.

Jeff: what the hell man ? got lunch time promo is it ??

Owen : quick… quick… you won’t regret it…

I followed Owen into the small canteen that took up the east side of the building on the ground floor. A small eatery with 3 stalls selling drinks, Chicken rice and fishball noodles.

We took a seat and Owen gave me a quick orientation. As he rattled off the details, I committed those into my memory. If this is where I’m going to be most of the time, I want to know as much as I can about the people here.

You never know when those information will come in handy.

Owen : Drink stall owner… Freddy….. his son Lala.

Jeff: what ? Lala ?

I took a look at the 2 chaps behind the stall. Freddy is a old man in his late 60s while his son is probably about the same age as me. He’s big , but he’s not normal.

He smiles funny and his eyes darted and shift but his motor skills are normal. I watch him pull a nice cup of coffee as Owen went on.

Owen : Lala is what he respond to… his name is Larry…. Special needs boy… he’s ok…. just don’t get him too excited…. He gets a little violent when he’s excited or when he gets too happy…

Owen went on to say at Lala has had a couple of brushes with the law because he could not control his emotions properly sometimes.

Owen : He has hit people before…. For being rude…. So be nice…

Jeff : what would I ever be not nice to him ??

Owen shrugged his shoudlers.

Owen : Relax…it’s just a remark…. I know you can be nice if you want to.

Jeff : I’m always fucking nice…… even when I’m working…

Owen : Whatever… hahaa…. Lala may be… ermm.. slow in many ways but he takes care of his father…. Freddy will sometimes cheat you on your change…

Jeff : oh… ?

Owen : It’s not a lot…. 10 cents here… 20 cents there… just close one eye la….. he’s paranoid about saving up for Lala…. You know…. As a father… he’s always worried about the day when he’s no longer around….

Jeff : they’ve been here long ?

Owen laughed and said yes. All the stall operators have been here for at least 10 years. There’s nothing suspicious about any of them from what he could gather.

Owen : noodle stall…. Ah Kim… his wife Ah Kiao…. Retired couple…. Selling to pass time…. 1 son…. Doctor… practising in Australia…. Food is not bad… Laksas on Friday is nice… ask for extra hum ( cockles )

Jeff : ok… I’ll try that later I think.

Owen looked at his watch again and I could see he was waiting for something. Or rather, someone.

He was looking at the chicken rice stall but he did not start talking.

I turned to look at the same direction as he is and all I could see was a fucking grumpy man with a large cleaver dismembering chicken.

He had a permanent frown on his face. Each time his cleaver came down, I could hear the loud chop of the blade hitting the large wooden board. Faded tattoos covered both his arms and beneath that white cotton top with holes, I know there is a body that has more muscles than fats.

He knows his way with a knife the way a chicken rice seller would.

I was about to ask Owen about the chicken rice seller when I froze as well. My attention immediately diverted away from the chicken rice seller.

My eyes saw and immediately recognised what Owen wanted me to see.

I would hardly hear myself as I blurted out what I wanted to say.

Jeff : wow…. Fuck…. Is that who you are waiting for??

Owen : ohhhh…………. this is the favourite part of my lunch.

With skin fair as fresh snow, I watched as that girl walked into the café with her bag and a large drawing board.

Her shoulder length hair danced like silk curtains in a gentle breeze. Her eyes sparkled as she looked past our table into the distance. Her lips are pursed together before breaking into the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen on a woman.

There was this depth to her smile that I could not describe. Her eyes smiled the same time as her lips and all the muscles on her facial features just reacted at the same time, painting the perfect picture of a beautiful woman.

She removed her denim jacket in the café and time slowed down by 80% as I watch her smooth and toned arms emerge from the jacket.

Even the way she folded her jacket seemed to attract me.

Lala, obviously know her well and he literally bounced out from behind his stall. He gawked and smile at the girl, grinning cheekily at her.

The girl smiled and gave Lala a pat on his head like a elder sister acknowledging the attention of a younger brother.

My eyes ventured lower, beyond the firm full breast of the girl to her legs.

God those legs, that full and delicious thighs. They were a healthy shade of white like freshly whipped cream.

She works out, I can tell.

Lala reached behind his counter and took out a bottle of water for the lady. She thanked him and I heard her voice for the first time.

It was like a melody. That level of sweetness in that short thank you could give me diabetes.

She’s beautiful.

I found myself asking the question inside my head.

How do you define beauty in a woman ?

Is it the amount of makeup she wears ? The way she dresses herself ?

The amount of cleavage she is showing ?

Or perhaps is the curated pictures you see of them online ?

This woman in front of me has none of those.

She did not wear any makeup, and if she did, I’m sure she would look like royalty.

Her modest dressing is the classic example of the local girl next door.

Nothing too loud, yet the pieces she chose to wear suited her.

I saw her say something to the noodle seller Ah Kiao and when she turned to her side and smiled, I saw a dimple.

A small dimple that appears only on the right of her face.

Her teeth, straight and white as the commercial you see online trying to sell you a upscale version of toothpaste.

I did not realised that my mouth was half open until Owen asked me to shut it because I was being too obvious.

Owen : she’s hot right… my god… she is like the goddess in this building…. Hahaha

Owen had to stress the word ‘goddess’ as he grinned.

I licked my dry lips as I looked around us.

We were not the only people here for lunch or rather, we were not the only one looking at the girl.

There are single men with spoon paused in mid air, rice dropping onto their plates.

There was even a guy with his coffee cup lifted 3cm off the table but he froze as well as he looked at the girl.

She’s that attractive.

Yes. She attracts attention, in a classy way.

I watch her pay Lala for the bottle of water and she took a look around the small café trying to see how many customers are in that day. Her line of sight sliced across her field of view, cutting right past us.

That look plus her smile.

She literally looked around and gave everyone a brief smile, like a greeting.

Something that says she knows we are looking at her and that we should probably stop because it is making her blush.

Jeff : wow….

Owen : yeah… wow….

Jeff : what’s her name ?

Owen : Xuehua… ( smooth snow )

Jeff : god… that’s so true… her skin….

Owen : yeah… she’s…. out of our league…. Hahaha…and even if she’s not….

There was a loud commotion followed by the sound of metal meeting the chopping board.

CHOP! CHOP!! Chop !

The sound of the chicken rice seller’s cleaver smashed onto the timber chopping board.

Eddy : ORDER LA !!! STAND THERE for FUCK ! want to eat or not !!

The chicken rice seller erupted at a customer who was slow in his order because he spent his time looking at Xuehua.

Xuehua giggled as she helps to take a dish of chilli and utensils for the stammering customer who was trying to step further away from the swinging cleaver that is separating the pieces of chicken.

Jeff : let me guess…. That’s her father ?

Owen : hahah. No….Chicken rice seller…. Eddy…… Xuehua’s uncle…. He’s known for his bad temper and lack of patience.….other than that he’s ok….. The food is good though….

I waited for Owen to go on as he stole another look at Xuehua.

Owen : Xuehua…. Art student… fuck….. how romantic is that…art student ….. haha…. She’s same age as you…

Jeff : oh ?

Owen : She’s an orphan…parents died in a car accident… raised by Eddy… she studied medicine….

Jeff : A doctor ?

Owen shook his head.

Owen : dropped out at her final year….took a break to travel… then decides to take up art…. Pottery at first… then now painting…… she sells some of her works at small studios around the island….some are pretty nice….

Jeff : why does it seem like you dig deeper than you usually do ? … haha

Owen : hahaha…. Wouldn’t you have done that if you were me ??

I laughed and I offered to go get lunch for the both of us.

Jeff : Chicken rice can or not ?

Owen : what the fuck man… hahaha… can’t you tell I’m only here for the chicken rice ?? haha

I laughed and I got up.

Then I got nervous.

I don’t know why.

Every step I put in front of myself towards the stall, my heartbeat got faster.

This is wrong.

I don’t get nervous.

I get excited before I kill, I get angry, I get upset.

I don’t get nervous.

This feeling is new.

Before I knew it, I was right in front of the stall.

My lips felt dry. I think I started to hyperventilate.

The customer in front of me walked away.

Xuehua locked eyes at me the same time I saw Eddy’s cleaver pause as he waited for me to place my order.

I froze in front of Xuehua.

Xuehua : yes ?

I fucking froze.

I could see Owen laughing at our table. It must please him to see his employee fuck something up especially when it’s non work related.

Looking at her straight on felt like I was meeting some royalty for the first time and not knowing how to react. Like she’s a princess and I’m the lowly peasant.

Jeff : i… i..

Xuehua raised an eyebrow as she tried to stifle a laugh.

Xuehua : chicken rice ?? for 2 ??

Before I could place my order, I literally jumped out of my skin as Eddy’s voice rang out again.

Eddy : WHAT YOU WANT!!! EAT or PACKET !!!??

I immediately ratted off my order so fast that I don’t even know what I was saying.

Jeff : Chicken rice for 2, add gizzards, 2 braised egg, 1 additional plate of rice, remove bone please and no breast meat, give me some chicken backside. !!

Owen was clutching his stomach as he laughed out loud at how stupid I looked.

It like I’m trying to do a tongue twister.

Xuehua smiled and she looked away. I watched her arrange the utensils on the tray before telling me the cost.

Xuehua : $10 please…

As if her sweetness is not enough, I saw something that sent blood right into my manhood, inflating it rapidly.

It’s inside her mouth.

On the tongue.

She has a tongue stud. That shiny glint of meatal.

The way she looked, this level of sweetness, you can never imagine she has something like that.

If wonder what it would be like to kiss her.

She arranged the food on my tray and thanked me.

I hesitated for a second too long that she had to give me a look before raising an eyebrow and directing her head slightly towards the tray to get me moving along.

When I set the food back down at our table, Owen was chuckling as he helped removed the dishes from the tray.

Owen : Well…. At least now I’m sure you’re not gay….

Jeff : fuck you…. You thought I’m gay ??

Owen : it’s a stressful job Jeff….. everyone has their way of dealing with it…

I shook my head and ignored Owen.

Half way through our meal Owen asked me a serious question.

Owen : So…..can I expect you to be in office… when you have no projects on hand ? haha ….

I dipped a chuck of chicken into the blended chilli sauce before putting it into my mouth.

Jeff : yes ..

Owen : good…..

I turned to catch another glimpse of Xuehua.

I saw her turn her head slightly towards my direction but turned away when she realised I was looking at her.

She’s hot, pretty and no doubt smart.

I watched as she tried to open the bottle of water Lala gave her earlier.

She scrunched up her face as she tried to twist the bottle cap. It was then I realised Lala was constantly looking at Xuehua too. He bounced out from behind his stall, left the line of customers waiting for their drink and went over to Xuehua and helped her with the bottle cap.

Xuehua : hahha. Thank you Lala…

She took a sipped of the water and our eyes met again for a brief second.

I looked away first.

Owen scooped rice into his mouth and his tone took on a more serious note.

Owen : Jeff… I know what you are thinking….don’t.

I scooped another mouthful of rice into my mouth.

I did not need Owen to tell me that I don’t have a future with her.

It’s ok to fantasised about it, maybe wank it off but people like us.

People like me doing the things I do.

We die alone. In a place no one know, and when we do, probably no one cares.

A relationship has no place in the life I lead. I changed the topic and asked Owen about my next job.

Jeff : What’s my next project ?

Owen : Get acquainted with your new assistant … he’ll come in next month….

Jeff : If it doesn’t work out ?

Owen : it will….

Jeff : I meant what if ….

Owen : then it’s 28 for you….

Jeff : wow… you can be really cold sometimes you know…

Owen : I’m fucking kidding… don’t even think… I spent a lot of money and resources on him….

Jeff : Send me his files…

Owen : will do… anything else you want to know about him ??

Jeff : Yes….

Owen : What ?

I finished the last mouth of my lunch and I added.

Jeff : does he like chicken rice ?

Owen : hahhaha…

…………………………………………..

I found out from the files that Owen sent me that my assistant’s name is Billy.

He’s an orphan, no living relatives. Owen plucked him out of a police station when he was caught hacking into one of the telco company that he was part timing for.

Owen saw his potential and he made the whole incident go away.

In return, Billy was to go to school, complete his studies while working for Owen. The files contained mostly observations and a list of stuff Billy did. There was nothing in it that I can use to really evaluate him as a person.

I don’t trust him. It’s nothing personal.

It’s just the line of work we do.

3rd June 2013

Monday.

It was my first day with Billy and officially the 1st work day in the new office. Part of me was looking forward to heading back to the place for chicken rice even though I only had it barely 2 weeks ago.

Xuehua’s smile never left my head.

Her expression. Just thinking of her makes me want to break out in a smile. It was that infectious.

I woke up early and practised my smile in the mirror. I check my facial expressions and relaxed my facial muscles. I have no plans to show the real me in that building.

I knew I needed a mask to protect myself. I’m not the only one that does my line of work that is going to be entering and leaving that space. There are many more like me.

There’s a high chance that we might be taking the same lift, eating at the same place or even bumping into each other. We don’t know each other by face, but I know for sure everyone will be on the lookout.

Tell tale signs that is a dead giveaway is a strict no no.

Blend in, keep your head down and pretend I’m your everyday office paper pusher.

I have to also make sure I don’t reveal too much of my cards to Billy too. He may be my assistant but he still needs to earn my trust.

I got to the office tower in Little india at 7.30 am. I settled myself into a spot at the café and waited. It was then I noticed Lala and his father staring at me.

Fuck. It’s as if I’m taking up space when I did not order a drink.

I cleared my throat and went over to place my order.

Jeff : kopi O Kosong…..

Lala : 1 kopi kosong coming up…… kopi o… kopi o….. no sugar no milk… cheapest drink on the menu… kopi o kopi o….. 80 cents..

I think my jaw dropped an inch as I blinked a couple of times as Lala continued singing and announcing to everyone in the queue behind me that I placed an order for the cheapest drink.

I paid up and took the drink back to my seat. Right before I step away, I heard Lala singing the order of the person behind me and I felt a wave of relieve instantly.

For a moment I thought he was unhappy with me ordering the cheapest drink.

I enjoyed my coffee as I slowly took in the people coming in.

Many of the people working in that building know each other. I could see people greeting Lala and his father as they passed by the café. Some did no even need to place their orders, all the had to do was give a friendly wave and drop off their coins.

Lala knew what they wanted.

I stole a glance at Eddy behind the chicken rice stall. He hummed as he worked, opening the cover of the rice cooker as a column of steam rose up into the air.

Ah Kim and Ah Kiao are busy fulfilling the breakfast orders. Bowls of noodles served one after another. The sound of the porcelain bowls grinding against each other when being removed from the stacks and the light slam of the stainless steel cover of the boiler where the noodles are being cooked made the place feel so homely and warmth.

Lala and his father Freddy made sure there’s a steady clink of sound from the glass mugs they were using for the drinks.

The drag of the wooden chairs along the floor by customers, the occasional shout of orders.

If I closed my eyes it would feel as if I stepped back briefly in time when Singapore has yet to become such a fast pace concrete jungle.

The rattle of a trolley caught my attention and I saw a old lady pushing the cleaning cart towards the café. Her trolley has been heavily modified. It looked pretty amusing in fact.

Aside from the usually mops, brooms and bin, I could see a variety of hooks and makeshift shelves she attached on her own.

On closer look, her trolley had everything you can possibly need to keep the lobby clean.

Cleaning detergent, sprays, jumbo toilet rolls. There’s even a old radio antenna with rubber bands looped 2 inches high. The handles in which she is pushing the trolley is unique as well.

Instead of the usual horizontal handle bar , the lady gripped onto the what looked like the grip of a motorcycle handle. It’s damm cool I tell you. It’s a modified push bar complete with brake levers.

The stance in which she pushed her trolley, her arms spread shoulder width apart, she could well be riding a Harley Davidson. There is vigour in her step. She’s got to be in her sixties I think but there is still a bounce in her step.

The whole scene reminds me of a hip grandmother on the road.

The trolley jingled and rattled as it got closer to me, revealing more details of this interesting cart. A small radio sent streams of classic oldies to my ears. Songs that my dad use to play at his stall as well.

Lala saw the lady approach and called out to her.

Lala : Auntie Annie.~~~ Kopi O !!

I watched as Annie gave Lala a thumbs up as she parked her cart at the edge of the café like a boss. She walked like someone who just finish her Taichi class with a smile towards the noodle stall and place her order.

She chatted with the hawkers as she wiped the sweat from her forehead.

Come to think of it, Singapore must be one of the few places in the world where our elderly still have to continue working.

We are one of the most expensive city in the world to live in. The popular saying among the old folks is that it’s probably cheaper for you to just die than to fall sick.

I checked the timing on my watch.

I was scheduled to meet Billy at 8am at the café for breakfast. I know his face from the files Owen gave me. I dropped him a text the night before and he replied immediately.

He asked how will he know it’s me when we meet.

I reassured him that I will call out to him, besides, the café is pretty empty.

Most of the customers are getting takeaways.

I wiped my mouth and looked towards the main entrance to see if Billy has arrived. Surely he’s not going to be late for our first meeting.

Sipping my coffee, I leaned back on the chair and I could feel myself relaxing. It’s nice to be able to people watch in the morning with a cup of coffee. Perhaps it was because I have no projects on hand at the moment.

I spotted quite a few hot office babes entering the building and heading towards the lift.

I saw the entrance of a trio of classic character that looked like they came out of a movie.

3 large men, hair dyed blond with tattoos on their arms.

All of them wore black polo T with the name of their debt collection company printed in bold yellow font.

A 4th man caught up from behind, a thick gold chain around his neck almost blinded me as they hurried to enter a lift that was closing.

I saw the security uncle swagger over to the café as well. With a button undone on his shirt, he looked unkempt. His little booth by the side of the lift lobby serves more as a decoration than anything.

There is hardly any semblance of security in that building. No need to sign in or register yourself, and the security guard works from 8am to 6pm.

Quite unusual but it has always been this way.

I caught a glimpse of the name tag on the security guard. Just 1 word.

‘Leng’

I pretended to sip my coffee as he waved to Lala who immediately started to prepare his drink.

He acknowledged the rest of the café staff, says hi to Eddy before taking a seat at the corner of the café.

He shook his leg as he sipped his drink, singing a hokkien song softly. Retrieving some lottery ticket from his pocket, I watch him try to match the numbers to the ones on his mobile phone before silently cursing and crushing it.

My attention was suddenly drawn to the entrance of a well built man walking into the building.

He’s tall, at least 1.9m and even though he was wearing loose fitting clothes, I could tell he’s in top shape.

He’s well groomed, even his eyebrow is sculpted and trimmed. The veins on his forearms left little to imagination what he can do to a man’s neck if he put his mind to it.

He came to the café and several pairs of eyes went to him. His voice boomed deep and low, asking for a glass of hot water and a cup of tea.

Sitting down 2 seats away from me, his chiselled features looked grim and menacing. He looked at his phone and frowned, shaking his head as if he was disappointed with something he read.

What happened next came so fast that I had no time to react.

Billy entered the building.

Cradling a tablet in his hands with a set of headphones on his head, he half skipped and hopped into the café.

Billy carried a bag that looked a bit too small for him, it’s like he was still using the bag meant for his primary school. His jeans is ill fitting and baggy, like he was stuck in the era where baggy jeans are still the thing.

His t-shirt is definitely old school. A giant Alien head with the text Alien workshop printed at the bottom.

I was about to signal to him when he immediately jumped and took a seat in front of the large guy.

I almost wanted to vomit out my coffee as Billy sat down in front of the guy who stared at him in surprise.

Removing his headphone and keeping his tablet, I could see Billy nodding at the guy who had 1 eye brow raised.

My mouth opened an inch wider when I saw Billy jerk his head upwards at the large man, it’s as if he was waiting for him to do something.

Large man : What the fuck do you want ??

Billy was calm. He pulled his head backwards in a dramatic manner and regarded the guy from the corner of his eye.

Billy : whhhhhhaaattttttts uppppppp!!! Brother !!! ssssupppppp!!

I massaged my forehead and looked to the ceiling. Oh god. What kind of powerful creature did Owen send me.

It was at this moment when it finally became clear who the large man was waiting for. A woman with 2 kids came along. The 2 kids bounced up happily to their father who carried them up effortlessly.

Billy immediately realised his mistake and he apologised profusely, saying he made a mistake.

He got up, swung around and saw me looking at him.

He blinked twice, looking around the café once more just to be sure before he looked at me again.

I nod my head towards the seat in front of me and he immediately caught my que.

Billy : oh my god I’m so sorry…..paiseh paiseh….what’s up brother….. sorry sorry…

I extended my hand and I could tell Billy was nervous.

His palms were sweating.

I would be too if I was him.

I’m sure Owen told him who I am at the very least.

Jeff : Do you want a drink ?

Billy shook his head. His eyes never left me.

He kept looking at me and I did not stop him.

2 minutes later, I could tell he calmed down a little when he finally opened his mouth.

Billy : I.. erm… i… Jeff.. Jeff right….

Jeff : yes… call me Jeff…

Billy : It’s an honour to finally meet you…

Jeff : don’t be crazy…please don’t do or say anything that will suggest we are anything more than normal office employees…

Billy nodded with a grin.

Billy : ok… ok… sorry… I’m just nervous… I erermmmm.. I thought…. I thought…. All the things I’ve heard about you… I just … you know sort of form my own impression of how you look like….am I blabbering…. I think I am blabbering….. sorry I’m just nervous…

Jeff : don’t be… we’re colleagues… come… let’s head up to the office… we have a lot to talk about…

I got up to the 8th floor with Billy and we entered the main lobby of a large serviced office. Regular employees went about their day to day work and we continued walking towards the end of the hall.

Opening our own private office suite, I asked Billy to chose his seat.

Jeff : There’s the table on the left and the table on the right…. Take your pick…

Billy : Right side… window view….nice….

It’s a nice view alright. We’re located in one of the tallest building within little India. The orange tiled roofs of the conservation shophouses on the streets below us stretched throughout the neighbourhood.

From up here, you get a vantage view of all the small alleyways. Traffic is terrible in this neighbourhood and most often than not, it is faster to walk to where you want to be than drive around here.

Billy dropped his bag and immediately got to work, if that’s what you call it.

The office is literally barebone. There’s nothing in it except the desk and chairs.

Billy was already on his knees checking for power points and location of lan cables.

Billy : Jeff… we need to go get stuff for the office man…. We don’t even have waste paper baskets ….. and my chair got no cushion…. I need cushion….

He started going on about a list of stuff we will need to get and I could feel a headache building up.

Jeff: ok.. ok slow down… Sim Lim square is just around the corner….let’s go there and grab what you need…..

Billy : ok… swee… let’s go…

Billy is a talker. He never stops talking. I would have thought it would be irritating but on the contrary, I find him quite entertaining. He’s definitely funny too

He asked a lot of questions. How often do I work out ? How fast can I run ?

Then the genre of questions changes suddenly to what games do I play ?

Do I know about Diablo ?

Jeff : what the fuck man… I grew up in the 90s, who hasn’t heard of diablo… of course I play…. 1,2,3, all I play…. I am a starcraft pioneer man…

Billy : Zhun bo ? …. Ok.. ok… I’ll set up the stations and we can par game in the office.

I gave him a look of disbelief as I started the car engine.

Ok, I admit. If there’s no project, I literally have fuck none to do but playing game in the office isn’t really my cup of tea.

As I turned onto the main road, Billi’s question took a drastic turn.

Billy : You like… porn or not..

I almost slammed on the car brakes as I looked at Billy.

Jeff: What the fuck man…

Billy : relax man… I’m just asking…. Owen tells me many of his staff are gay…. I just wna tot be upfront I like girls… and I like pussies…

Jeff : This conversation is over…. I think we’re not close enough to go to that topic.

Although Billy’s choice of conversation is weird, I still enjoyed talking to him on a whole range of issues.

If I were to be honest, I felt quite at ease with him.

He’s direct and straightforward. If he don’t like something, he says it immediately.

Like the colour of my fucking mouse and keyboard.

Billy : That colour is disgusting…. Who the hell chose teal for mouse and keyboard.

Jeff :what the fuck do you care about what colour I want for my keyboard…. ?

Billy : I’m just saying…. That colour is very girly…

I would have wanted to have my work stations fixed at the shops but Billy would not have it that way.

Billy : No… no… no… DIY…. DIY means I do it myself… bring everything back… I will settle… don’t worry…

I ended up as a shopping slave as Billy went on a shopping spree.

Billy : Owen paying…. Everything just go high end… hahah…

We got back to the office by lunch and I wanted to ask Billy to head down for chicken rice but he’s already lost in his zone.

Spreading the stuff he buys out on the table, he told me to grab a packet of food for him if I’m heading down to get any.

I decided to save the chicken rice for later and we order pizza.

I wasn’t much help with the setting up but it was a good time to talk to Billy.

We chatted as he worked, he is focused, organised and he is a perfectionist.

I cable tied a wire a little crooked and he made me redo it.

Billy : No… cannot…. Cannot… take out take out… redo…you know how to use cable tie or not !!..

Jeff: I do… when I use it… usually people die….

Billy dropped his screw driver as he stared wide mouth at me before I broke into a smile.

Jeff : just kidding…. Hahaha…

Billy : err…. That’s funny.. haha… that’s funny…

It took us several hours but by 5.45pm, we’re done.

I passed Billy a drink and I asked him if he had a choice when Owen told him to come work with me.

Jeff : He just ordered you to ?

Billy : Nah… he asked me first… he wanted to know if I would be comfortable….

Jeff : Working with me ?

Billy shook his head.

Billy : he gave me 3 choices….. HIbiki, Lunch or Match ….

Damm that Owen. He offered Billy the top 3 performers.

Jeff : Why me then ?

Billy looked at me and when he answered, I could tell he was being really honest. I burst out laughing .

Billy : Owen was sure Lunch and Match likes men…..but for you… he says it’s 50/50…I’ll take my chances….

Jeff: hahahah… fuck you…. Hahha…

Billy : No thanks…

We finished our drink and I told Billy we should head for an early dinner.

Jeff : I’ll leave you in no doubt which gender I prefer after dinner….

Billy :hahha…. No need la…. 1 look I can tell you are a Jap porn lover…

Jeff : Fuck off la… haha..

We walked out of the office and went towards the lift. Billy lowered his volume and on a more serious tone, he told me that he like the way I work.

Billy: Clean…. Emotionless and professional …..very nice work…. You’re really someone I look up to….

I shook my head and told him things like these messes with our heads.

Jeff : don’t think about them when you don’t have to…

Billy : What are we going to have ?? Little india have a lot of nice food right….

Jeff : Oh… we’re having chicken rice…

Billy : whattttttt……

As we approached the café, I slowed down my footsteps.

I could see Xuehua. Her side profile.

She was smiling as she spoke to another lady.

That smile could melt anything.

Billy : woah….brother….. fuck me man…..she is the hottest chicken rice seller in the country…

Jeff : yeah… I think so too… she’s… just wow…

Billy : come on brother… go hit on her….

Jeff : what ? what makes you think I haven’t done it yet….

Billy nudge me along and I could feel him dragging me into the café.

Billy : I can tell la….You don’t know her yet right…

Jeff : What the fuck…

Billy : If you knew, you won’t be standing here… come come… I support you…. Go talk to her….

I freed myself from Billy and gestured to him to take a seat in an animated manner. The large actions caught the attention of the stall owners and I could see Lala and his dad looking at me.

Even Xuehua turned towards me for a second before turning away.

I immediately went to the drinks stall and ordered drinks.

Lala : Kopi O kosong ….. cheapest drink right ?

Jeff : wow… that’s amazing man…

Lala : yes. Yes… i know you… cheap drink Kopi O kosong…

Billy : Get me a coke bro !

Billy shouted from across the café a little too loudly, drawing more attention to us.

Lala : coke for your friend…. Cheap drink Kopi O Kosong for you…

Jeff : Please… call me Jeff…

Lala : Jeff… jeff…. Call me Lala…. Lala…. Kopi O Kosong for Jeff….

Jeff : nice to meet you Lala….

I brought the drink over to Billy and told him I’m going to order chicken rice.

Billy : ok.. ok… I eat everything….

Billy stole a glance behind me and he gestured that the girl I was eyeing is waiting for me.

Billy : she is ready for you… she’s hot… I think you will look good as a couple.

I did a mock hammering action at Billy and he chuckled as he ducked my attempted blow.

Billy : Chill la brother…. You going to order chicken rice.. you look like you going for interview…

Jeff : that’s not true… !

Billy : You can one… you are the ‘Zai’ ( Steady ) one… go !… talk to her…! Get her number…..!! get her facebook…. I can do magic…

Lowering his voice a notch Billy offered to photoshop the girl’s face onto the body of a nude JAV actress if I could get her social media account profile.

I sighed and walked towards the stall.

Xuehua’s hair was tied up into a short ponytail that day. She wore a long sleeve top in red with sleeves that reached only to her elbows. A pair of black hip hugging jeans and black canvas shoes completed her look.

I think it would be considered very good progress if I can at least say hi besides placing my order of chicken rice.

Standing across the café, I saw her smile.

I’m going to go talk to her, even if its for a little while.

But before I could make my move, I felt my emotions going wild.

My tongue gets tied.

I was right at the stall and Xuehua as turned around to face me.

Right at the moment when I look into her big brown eyes, I felt myself freezing up again.

Xuehua spoke first and at that moment, I suddenly felt that everyone at the café has some sort of super human power with photographic memory.

Xuehua : Chicken rice for 2, add gizzards, 2 braised egg, 1 additional plate of rice, remove bone please and no breast meat and some chicken backside ? hahah

My mouth could hardly move as I just nod at her, I could feel hot flushes on my cheeks.

Jeff : wow… yes….

Xuehua looked away with a smile and I felt like the dimple on her cheek sucking me in like a vortex.

She started to arrange the utensils and food Eddy has prepared onto the tray for me.

Then the most fuck up thing happen.

Fuck up to the core.

Picture this.

Xuehua , out of pure goodwill , helped me remove the tray of food from the stack on the stall. Lifting it up, she made it easier for me to carry the tray of food.

During the Passover, the moment my hands gripped onto the side of the tray, the bowl of soup moved and I could see it happen before I felt the pain.

The hot soup scalded my hand and I accidentally jerked the tray forward towards Xuehua.

The tray of chicken slid right off the tray and smack right into her chest, drenching her body in a mess of chicken and gravy.

Jeff : Oh fuck….

Before my curse could be completed, the dish of chicken fell to the floor, the echo of the melamine crockery filled the whole café, causing everyone to turn over.

Now, an apology would be in order and some prompt cleanup is needed but no.

There was no time for those.

I heard a loud defending shout from Lala.

The loud noise and seeing Xuehua in distress must have triggered him.

Freddy tried to calm him down but Lala was shouting and running towards me from the drinks stall.

His arms were raised and his fist clenched.

I could feel my muscles tensing up and my footing was about to change to a defensive position when I realised in a split second I can’t do anything.

I could have easily trip Lala and twist his arms into submission but I can’t.

Not in front of the whole fucking world.

Before I realised it, the café descended into utter chaos as Lala started raining blows on me.

Jeff: ahhh.. ahhh….

I blocked off his blows clumsily, and I could see all the hawkers rushing out to help calm Lala down.

Xuehua : Lala… calm down … Lala !!

Lala’s blows are hard but they were slow. As he screamed and hammered me, I could block them easily but it only served to anger him more.

Lala : aHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why you bully Xuehua !!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Xuehua tried to come closer and I could see one of Lala’s hammering blow about to hit her.

Immediately I reached over to help her shoulder that blow.

It was a mistake.

Lala changed tack.

Instead of hammering me, Lala’s hands reached straight for my nipples.

Jeff : AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lala : AHHHHHHHH!!!

Xuehua : !!! AHHHH!!

I was tethering on the verge of twisting Lala’s fingers and dislocating them when Xuehua shouted for everyone to back off and keep quiet.

The commotion is only making Lala more stress.

Xuehua : Everyone back off !!… shut up !!!

Everyone froze, me included as I gritted my teeth with my eyes widened to the max my eyelids could manage.

Billy too was right there as he looked on in amazement at me.

With my nipples twisted in Lala’s massive arms, Billy gave me a thumbs up that I could manage to hold in my scream.

Xuehua : don’t cry out…. No matter what you do…. Don’t cry out…hold it in while I calm him down.

My whole body was trembling as I strained every muscle in my body. This was worse than the time I was slashed on my thigh doing a project.

I looked at Xuehua who was trying to speak to a crying Lala. God , she is so beautiful that it’s painful just to look at her.

Xuehua stroked Lala gently on his hair and spoke to him softly, calming him down.

She whispered to him and I could see Lala nodding his head even though he is still crying.

After a few short seconds which felt like eternity to me, Xuehua told me to just tall Lala to let go gently.

Xuehua : no sudden movements…. No crying out…. No sudden change in volume…. !!

I nodded and I could feel the veins in my neck about to burst open.

Billy had to come in and ask a dumb question at the critical moment.

Billy : What happens if he cry ?

Xuehua gestured to Lala and replied almost instantly.

Xuehua : He’s gonna pinch it…. Pinch it…. Pinch it somemore….

I could not hold it in any longer. If I did, my muscle memory and reflexes would end Lala’s life right there and then. It was up to me to end this.

I wanted to speak but I can’t

I really can’t

I spoke and the only words that came out were ;

Jeff : Ahh… La la la la no……ahhh la la la la… no no…. no no…. no… nooooo…

Billy dropped his coke can as he stared at me in amazement. I see the dramatic rise of his thumb as he added.

Billy : Brother…, you si bei good leh…. At this time still can sing….

……………………………………………………….

I felt the flush of instant relieve as Lala let go before breaking down in Xuehua’s arms.

He didn’t mean it. Lala kept shouting he’s sorry in my direction as I staggered backwards and caught my breath. Lala was caught between trying to look and me and hiding in Xuehua’s breast.

His eyes were filled with tears and guilt and there is no way to fake that level of genuine regret. Lala’s voice is out of control.

Lala: sorry…, SORRY !!! SORRY JEFF… sorry… sorry… aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He was trashing about as the other hawkers tried to hold him down so he doesn’t end up hurting another else.

Jeff : it’s ok… it’s ok…. I’m ok…

Lala : sorry … SORRY!!! SORRY JEFF… !!! JEFFF!!!!

I massaged my damaged nipples and I told Lala it’s ok but it’s not getting into him. He’s too emotional to listen.

He’s still very agitated.

Suddenly he started hitting himself, apologising as he hammered himself on his mouth with his fist.

It was a hard knock and I could hear the crunch of his knuckles hitting his teeth.

Before anyone could stop the 2nd punch, Lala brought his fist to his mouth and he began bleeding at the mouth.

Everyone panicked, some wanted to call for an ambulance but Freddy said no.

Xuehua’s petite voice was being drowned out by the shouting with everyone trying to give their suggestions and input.

Even Auntie Annie came over with her Harley Davidson cleaning trolley to see what is happening.

By then the commotion had drawn a small crowd of curious onlookers.

Lala: I’m sorry… Jeff.. I’m sorry !!

Jeff : Its ok…. it’s ok…. Lala… Look at me… look at me…. I’m ok… !!

Lala’s voice built up to an explosive scream as he pushed everyone away from him.

His father fell behind onto Eddy. Xuehua was shoved backwards and she fell onto her buttocks before landing on her back. Ah Kim held onto his wife Ah Kiao as she stumbled, nearly hitting the edge of a table.

I was really contemplating putting Lala down. A quick twist of his hands behind his back would be enough to put him into submission. Nothing works as well as pain but he seemed so helpless and lost.

I walked towards Lala and I held both his shoulders in my grip. I moved so fast he had no time to react. All that’s left for me to do would be to trip his balance, throw him onto the floor before I go all over him but I did not do that.

I too did not know what was going through my head.

Instead of putting him down. I hugged myself onto Lala.

Jeff : It’s ok…. it’s ok bro… I’m ok… I’m ok…I’m really ok…

Lala was taken aback for a couple of seconds and I could feel his entire body shaking.

Trembling in fact.

2 seconds later he went quiet. Then I felt his massive hands came up behind me and he held onto me.

Sobbing and apologising again, Lala told me he was really sorry.

Lala : Sorry… sorry… I could not control myself…. Sorry…

Jeff : It’s ok… shshhhhh.. its ok… I’m ok…. I’m really ok …shhhh..

I could feel Lala breathing hard in my arms. He panted and sucked in air but he was no longer shaking.

He’s calming down slowly but surely.

All eyes were on me as I slowly coaxed Lala out of my embrace.

It didn’t take long.

Probably a minute or 2 max and I was free of Lala.

He touched his bleeding gums and Xuehua gave him some napkins to clean up while his father gave him water to drink.

Eddy : nothing to see….. nothing to see…. Everybody go back work… no need work ah…

Eddy’s sudden outburst dispersed the busybodies gathering at the edge of the café. Auntie Annie went over to offer a few words of comfort to Lala before setting to clean up the mess I made on the floor.

I sank into a nearby seat and realised my shirt was drenched in perspiration.

Looking across at Billy, his jaws were just opened wide as he took everything in.

Billy : Wow…. Damm…..

Freddy brought Lala over and I stood up.

Jeff : It’s ok Lala…. I’m really ok… it was an accident….

Lala : I’m sorry…. I’ll … I won’t do it again…. I’ll make you the best kopi O kosong in the world to make up….

Jeff: It’s ok.. I’m fine… don’t worry about it…

I added with a smile as Freddy too apologised for his son’s outburst. He added that he is a little over protective of Xuehua because he likes her.

Eddy appeared just as Lala was walking away with another tray of food for me.

Eddy : nah… nah… nah…. Uncle treat you eat la…

Jeff : thank you… thank you…

Billy immediately came over and took over the tray from me. As he was facing me, I saw him mumble quickly in front of me before going away. His lips tried his best not to move as he rattled of his final word before making way for Xuehua.

Billy : bro… your brownie point…. Gao gao….kopi O extra gao ( thick ) already….

I wanted to smack him but he chuckled and got out of range and I saw Xuehua coming towards me.

She held 2 ice bags with her palms facing up was she got right up to me.

Xuehua : Jeff…. Right ?

Jeff : Yes…

Xuehua : here… take these…

Jeff : no need … it’s ok…

Xuehua : it’s not fine…. I was pinched before by Lala too….

I really don’t know what the fuck was going on in my head and I instantly looked at Xuehua’s breast when I should have been looking at her eyes.

It’s not my fault. I just had my nipples pinched.

Then you tell me you were pinched as well. Naturally the link just happened. I would have also thought she had her nipples pinched by Lala as well.

It was a fast look. Barely 1 second as I looked at Xuehua’s breast before looking back up at her with my eyes wide open.

Before I could speak, Xuehua laughed and shake the ice bags at me, spraying me with the condensed water that had accumulated.

Xuehua : NOT THERE LA !!! hahah

Jeff : Sorry… sorry… it was just…. I just….

Xuehua : Here…. Take it…it will make you feel better….

Seeing my hands were not up to receive the ice bags, Xuehua plastered the ice bags onto my shirt where my injury was. From a bystander point of view, she would have looked like she was touching my breast.

Jeff : ergnhhhh….orghhhhhergnnhh… ahhh… enghh…

Xuehua’s eyes widened before breaking into a chuckle as I moaned in front of everyone in the café.

You think it’s funny ? Go to your fridge right now and rub 2 ice cubes on your nipples and see if you moan out loud.

Instinctively, my hands came up and took over the ice bags as Xuehua’s hands moved away.

Jeff : thank…. Thank you…

Xuehua : haha… enjoy your dinner Jeff…

Jeff : wait wait…

Xuehua turned around and if I weren’t gritting my teeth not to moan again from the ice cold bags rubbing on my nipples, I would have let loose another sensual call.

Her big round eyes lined up with mine as she waited for me to finish my sentence.

Jeff : I…. ermm.. haven got your name…

It was a blatant lie but this was the perfect opportunity for me to ask for it. If not now then when ?

Xuehua broke into a smile half a second later and I could tell she was considering whether or not to tell me her name. I could almost detect a hint of mischief as she asked me why should she tell me her name.

Xuehua : why should I tell you my name ?? … I didn’t ask for yours…hahah…

I could not bring myself to tear my eyes away from Xuehua’s as I answered as honest as I could.

Jeff : how can you not give your name….. to a man who has 2 hands on his own nipples when he asked you for it….

Xuehua burst out laughing the same time I saw Billy choke on his chicken rice, spraying his own plate with a smattering of chewed up rice grains and chicken meat.

Xuehua : hahaha… hahaha…

I saw Xuehua bite her lips for a split second as she considered my request.

I saw her inhale before breathing out as her mouth opened slightly. Her eyes checked me out right before she replied me softly.

Xuehua : Xuehua…. My name is Xuehua ….haha… see you around Jeff….

With that she turned around and made her way to the washroom.

I could not contain my smile as I walked back to my table with Billy.

Billy chewed on his dinner and looked at me smiling away. I must have a dreamy look on my face paired with a silly smile. That expression was etched onto my face for a good 30 seconds as I sat down in front of Billy. With my hands still on nipples massaging them, you could probably draw up a picture of what Billy is looking at while he ate.

Billy : Li erh………. Biao qing……….si bei bian tai ….( you have……. a perverted look……. on your face )

I ignored Billy’s comment as I slowly remove the melting ice cubes and put them on the tray.

Xuehua. The name sounded extra nice when she says it.

Billy : eat la… eat la…

Billy scooped chicken onto my plate and gestured for me to stop dreaming.

Billy : Owen is coming.

The mere mention of my boss’s name snapped me out of the daze I was caught in.

Jeff : Oh… he called ?

Billy showed me a message on his phone.

It was from Owen.

He asked if everything is ok on his first day and that he will be dropping by the office later.

Jeff : Are you going to reply that ?

Billy : no need….if it’s not ok… I would have called him by lunch….

We finished up our dinner and went back up to office. I did not have any spare clothes so I removed my shirt and hung it up by the window.

Billy sat back on his chair with his legs up on his desk as he streamed youtube videos of English hit songs as we waited for Owen to arrive.

I went to my desk and logged in remotely to the cameras I set up at home.

It was a habit in a way. If I was not doing it on the computer, I would be checking it on my phone.

You can never take security too lightly. I could see the common corridor outside my flat. The main door to my house and the respective rooms.

I switched sites and another series of screens appeared.

I had rented a unit opposite my current flat as well using different names and identifications. Documents of which were authentic provided for my different projects. I was suppose to return them once my work is done but hey, anyone with half a brain would know to keep some of these for future use.

I kept half of the documents Owen provided and told him I lost them during work. He would roll his eyes and say it would spell trouble for a lot of people if these documents are round floating around.

I reassured him that if he finds them, it would mean I’m dead. Just blame it all on me.

The unit I rented gave me a direct view of my place from the outside. I have cameras pointed at my door, the windows and the corridor leading up to the door.

Only Owen knows where I live but doing what I do for a living, you can’t help being a little more cautious.

I asked Billy where he lived and his head popped out from the side of his screen for a brief moment before asking me why am I interested in that.

Billy : Why do you want to know that ?

Jeff : hahahah…. Good… good answer…

Billy : ask me something else….. I have access to Owen’s archive of the company’s history…. Most of them are in hard copy… he never bothers to read them…. I went though most of it….

I came out of my office and pulled a chair up beside Billy.

Jeff : The history ?…

Billy : Yeah…. From the day this started….

Jeff : Tell me about the 4 pillars….

Billy laughed.

Billy : They’re all in 1 way or another…. Related to some of the street gangs back then…. , trouble makers….fierce fighters…. Murderers…. All of them have been arrested before… it’s not long before someone came up with the brilliant idea that rather than train people up from scratch… why not make use of these talents you already have….

Jeff: Talents… what a way to describe them…

Billy : hahah….there was not much documentation about the recruitment process….i read from some of the reports that it’s not easy…. No one came onboard willingly…..everyone had their own deal…. Money…. Family… whatever… things like that…

Jeff : Ok…. what else…

Billy : Audits and justifications back then were sketchy, you can never be sure if the projects you are doing are what it says it is… but they still do it…. They’re paid for each job instead of a monthly pay… no bonus or any kind…Kills back then were sloppy…. But easier to cover up compare to this day and age.

Jeff : example ?

Billy : Most common documented way of cleaning up would be to ship the carcass out to a kelong….. it would then be processed and re-introduced into the food chain….

Jeff : That is some sick shit…

Billy : There are camera everywhere now….it’s not as easy as before…

Billy sat up and started typing into his computer before logging into his email.

He turned the screen around and showed me some pictures.

Jeff : What are those… ?

Billy : Hu Die Dao. Butterfly sword…. Exclusively used by the 4 pillars…

Jeff: They used these ??

Billy : It started off symbolic … something the company presented to them, but with limited resources back then, all 4 pillars made good use of them. … the blades are forged in Japan… using the best iron sands from Chugoku mountain range in Japan…. They’re compact and easy to wield…. Half of their kills are with these…

Jeff : wow…..

Billy : what do you use Jeff ?

Jeff : butter knife….. bought from a $2 shop located in the outskirts of Jurong. Cheap and easy to dispose… but you need to sharpen them on your own….

Billy : That’s a joke right… anyway….here’s more..

Billy showed me more pictures he scanned in from the archives.

Billy : there are 4 butterfly sword…… 1 is in the national museum…. You can see it on display at the triad section….

Jeff : what about the other 3 ?

Billy : Owen has one of them, but the blade is already broken….it’s encased in his office…given to him by his predecessor…. The other 2 is missing… which brings me to this…

Billy switches window and showed me a scanned grainy picture of 2 black spear. About 1.4m long each, the entire spear is in black from the shaft to the spear tip.

The shaft is made of impact grade Hickory and the spear itself is from the same iron sand in Chugoku.

Jeff : The only time I hear hickory is when I order BBQ….

Billy ignored my comment and went on.

Billy : There are only 2 of these… presented to the North and South Pillar…

Jeff : Why ?

Billy : North is always busy… near the causeway…. And South need to include Sentosa…. And other island…. So more work..

I gave Billy a look and he gave me a smile.

Billy : you talk cock I also talk cock what….. hahha…..I don’t know… It was not recorded….the spears are missing as well…

Jeff : probably kept as souvenirs when they retire….

3 of the Pillars served national service. There were no records of where they served or what they did. 1 of them did not serve at all.

Jeff : awol or run ?

Billy : no idea… no records…. Their reign is long and eventful…. The 1st generation of our company…. We are technically the 3rd….

Jeff : where’s the 2nd…. ?

Billy : 2nd is a bit blurry…. Neither here nor there…. Most are in the midst of transition….Owen and his predecessor really built up the 3rd gen of operators.

Jeff : Hmmm…. Ok….

Billy : The 4 pillars were given a task to train up someone….

Jeff : Yes… I’ve heard… a Girl….

Billy : Yeap… you must know that the 4 pillars could hardly get along….yet somehow they managed to train up this girl…amazing right…

Jeff : Well… with the right motivation…anyone can do anything….

Billy : True…. True….

Jeff : what do you know about Jane ? does the archive say anything ?

Billy : Nothing in depth….. just enough to know she is there yet not there at the same time…. The company started training it’s first recruit the same time the 4 pillars started with Jane….they wanted to compare the methodology or something….turns out the company went for theirs…. So the 4 pillars only trained 1 girl… not much information is available…

Jeff : Then how do we know if she is real ? maybe it’s just a myth…

Billy shrugged his shoulders.

Billy : Maybe just a story made up to scare people ? hahah …. Jane has a birth mark…about 3cm long on the back of her left shoulder blade…. She might have it removed by surgery, no one knows….. the archives says she started her training when she was 11, had her first project by 13.

Jeff : Bull shit…. Mai lai la…..it’s fake… no way….

Billy : I know… at 13 i don’t even know how to cut a potato.

There was a knock on our office door suite and Owen came in.

10.20pm

Owen : I heard you injured your nipples Jeff…

Jeff : from who ?

I turned to look at Billy who held up both his hands to indicate it was not him.

Owen : There are eyes and ears everything Jeff….. people talk… just know that I am aware of everything that is happening in this building… It’s my job to…. It keeps us safe…

Jeff : I’m glad your voyeuristic nature is keeping all of us safe.

Owen : You’re welcome…

Owen locked the door and gestured to the window.

Billy hit the automatic blinds and the rollers whirled slowly, blocking out the night view we have of little India.

Owen opened his bag and brought out a bottle of whisky. A Hibiki 17 by Suntory.

He set the bottle on the table without a word and pulled out 3 glasses.

Owen : Let me go wash these first..

I looked at the bottle without a word and I could see Billy staring at it as well.

Whenever there is a new project, Owen would bring me 1 of these. Something of an initiation of sort to get things going.

The age of the whisky offered a glimpse into the difficulty of the said project.

Most of the bottles I’ve received are 12 year olds.

This is a 17.

Seeing Billy looking at the bottle, I asked if he knew what this means.

Jeff : You know what this means right ??

Billy : yes…. Owen told me about it…. He gets you 1 everytime there’s a new project….

Well. I’ve had a good break.

It’s time to start working.

Billy : Can I ask you something Jeff…. ?

Jeff : Go ahead….

Billy : You get to choose your own callsign ?

Jeff : Yeah…. Why… you want one ?

Billy looked at me in a serious manner and asked.

Billy : why didn’t you use Porche or Ferrari instead ?

It took half a second to sink in before I laughed.

Owen came back then and he heard what Billy asked. He set down the glasses and opened the bottle before pouring each of us a good 2 finger of the drink.

Owen : how are you going to tell the tax agency where you get all your cars ?

Billy : You mean you will really get it…?

Owen : Yeah… 1:10 scale model…. Don’t be a cock la…

Owen raised his glass and we met his with a soft clink in the quiet office.

As we took a sip, he took out his reading glasses and perched it low on his nose.

The streaks of grey in his hair is beginning to show. I guess this is a kind of work that makes you age faster than others. The wrinkles around his eyes got deeper and I could see the heavy eyebags.

He looked tired, as if he always have a lot of things on his mind.

He opened up a folder on the table and laid out some documents and photographs on the table.

I sat forward and looked at the photographs he laid out while Billy leafed through one stack of information Owen brought. Pictures of a hot looking lady.

Clasping his fingers together, he looked at me before turning to Billy.

Owen : I wished there were more time for you guys to get to know each other before your first project but this came in last minute….

Billy : who’s this hot babe ?

Billy held up a picture of this good looking women who cannot be more than 35 of age. Dressed in a classy gown and full makeup, she oozes charm and sexuality.

Her smile and those foxy eyes screams milf no matter which angle you look at it from.

Owen : Yvonne….Former pageant winner….. hot right ?… married… stay at home wife… socialite…. Attends parties and charities….spends husband’s money…. Head of a few charitable organisation as well…recently became a mother…

Jeff : She the target ?

Owen : No… her husband…….. Benson…. businessman in the day… drug dealer at night…

Owen pushed another photo across to me.

Owen : He’s well guarded by his personal guards… seldom show his face and very paranoid…… I sent in a colleague of ours….. he failed….

Jeff : What happened.

Owen : He went in as a contractor…. Benson is renovating his place now….last communication with him was that he will be making an attempt when Benson comes over to check on the work progress….. I’ve not heard from him since… its been 6 days….. I presume he’s dead

Jeff : that would have put Benson on his guard won’t it… ?

Owen : I don’t know…this is why I need you to find out…

Jeff : What’s my cover… ?

Owen took a deep breath and said I’m not going to like this.

Jeff : When have I liked anything you planned for me.

Owen : Oh ho ho ho…. This is different…. This is very different….

Jeff : How so… ?

Owen went on to say that the only way I would be able to gain access to Benson would be through Yvonne, and while it would have been easy in the past, things got complicated recently.

Owen : Yvonne caught Benson cheating on her when she was pregnant…. Things got ugly… and Benson has sort of kept Yvonne locked up in the house….

Billy : woah…

Owen : Businessman…. All want face…. Anyway, Benson’s a fucking flirt…. He sleeps around as if he’s changing underwear…. Prostitutes, actresses, with money… you can get anyone…. You get the drift….

Benson kept his wife under lock and key for the last few months of pregnancy, even after delivering in a private hospital suite, she was promptly sent back home for her confinement. Access to her is near impossible for now.

He took out a black travel organiser which usually contains my documents that correspondence with my cover.

He unzipped it and handed me the docket of information with the background he set up for me. Billy was handed a copy as well and barely 5 seconds in he looked up at Owen and exclaimed.

Billy : This is a joke right ?

Owen replied quietly as he adjusted his glasses.

Owen : It’s not…. We have to be subtle about this… it’s in the middle of a residential district and there’s a baby and her mother in the picture….we can’t put them in harm’s way.

I finished reading the summary and I looked up at Owen.

Jeff : you’re fucking kidding me are you not ?

Owen shook his head.

Owen : I wish I was…. Takes more than just balls to pull this off…… I’m sure you can do it… I will reveal the rest of the documents after acceptance of this project.

Owen gestured for all the documents and the photographs before saying the usual statement before each project.

Owen : You have a choice. You can choose to walk away and not speak of this again. Or, should you choose to accept this project, it is my duty to remind you that should you get caught, the company will not acknowledge any of your actions…. This is your first project together… I’ll give you guys some time to discuss….

Billy : No need…. I’m in if Jeff is…… he’s good with a butter knife…

Owen raised an eyebrow

Owen : What the fuck ?

I shook my head and drained the whisky in my glass, Owen went on to pour me another serving.

Jeff : I accept.

Owen : Good..

Owen handed over the documents he showed us initially before pulling out another document folder. With it, he pulled out another photograph.

Owen : Employee ranked 41 on the list…..

Billy : woah….. this is sick man….

I looked at the photograph Owen was holding and I stared at it for a good 3 seconds before looking at Owen.

Jeff : They’re twins ?

Owen : Yeap…. Yvonne’s sister….. Yiling….

Employee ranked 41 under Owen’s employment with one confirmed project under her belt. Callsign pillbox.

Owen told us it as his last resort. He didn’t want to go ahead with it but it seems he had run out of options.

Yiling is aware of what is happening to her sister and her brother in law’s recent indiscretion. The family recently argued about not being able to see Yvonne and her child as often as they wanted.

Benson is stonewalling them with excuses that Yvonne and the baby is sick and having so many strangers around them will increase the chances of the child getting an infection. Yiling was allowed to visit her sister a couple of times because her brother in law has the hots for her.

He has attempted to be funny and touchy with Yiling when he has a bit to drink on occasions before.

Owen : details are in the 2nd folder… read it…… I just spoke with Yiling before I came over…. She accepted the project and the cover I arranged….. you are to meet up with her…. And get introduced to the family as her boyfriend. ….

My role, as explained to Yiling by Owen is nothing more than an officer with the drug agency. I was to play the role of her boyfriend and I’m the official liaisons when it comes to matters about the drug trade Benson is running. My job would be to collect information, that’s all. As someone with no usable experience when it comes to operations like this, I was a total newbie to the game.

I was to have no knowledge of what Yiling’s actual role and task is. I’m operating on the basis that Yiling is volunteering for this because she cares for her sister and wants to help her out of her predicament. This explains her role in cooperating with me.

Owen did not want to use Yiling initially because of her lack of experience but her status as the sister in law of the target is too precious a card not to use in these circumstances.

Compounded with the fact that she hated her brother in law, this should not be too hard for her to decide.

Owen : Benson is well guarded….if it comes to an all out brawl….. Yiling might not be able to do it…… Do not reveal who you are unless absolutely necessary….The project…. When successful, will be credited to both of you without Yiling ever knowing what happened….

Owen scribbled a number on a piece of paper. The number to call for the clean up crew who will take care of the forensics and stuff. It changes with each project and it’s also the official communication channel I will have with Owen once we start the party.

I nodded and Billy took over the piece of paper after I’m done.

Billy : This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds….

With that Billy started tearing up the piece of paper vigorously with exaggerated actions.

Owen shook his head and poured me another drink while pushing Billy’s glass aside.

Owen : No more drinks for you.

Billy : hahah… twins man….. Jeff… twin sister leh… hahaha…lucky you….

Billy took the bottle from Owen and poured himself a glass.

Our glasses met again and we all knew Owen is already in his working mood when he finished our last toast with a statement as cold as this.

Owen : If shit hits the fan…. i can afford to lose the pillbox…. But you damm well bring me back Hibiki….

Owen finished his drink and gave us a nod before leaving the room.

Billy : well….. have fun with the twins Jeff….

Billy drained his drink and flipped to the back of the folder where a disc is attached. He will make do with the soft copy of the documents.

Looking at the photo of Yiling, I thought to myself.

Well, this could be interesting.

At least I get to meet my first colleague……. In the same department that is…

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