t had been inside my heart for years. I have try hard to forget and let go, the feeling and memory are unforgettable. I am not sure what should I do to forget it. I am not sure I am in right place to share my feeling.
The names mention are not real.
This happen during my sec school days when I was 16 waiting period to JC. I had a bf that time name Aaron. We got to know each other though my working friend Jasmine. After getting accepting the dates from Aaron, we become couple. He is my second bf. Our relationship are very good during that time, he will always be there for me especially during the time I am down and keep encouraging me. During the holiday period, our relationship getting closer. We are almost daily together. I miss the simple love that we hold hand, kiss passion and hug each other. Of course that time I have given my first petting with him during watching movie with him in the cinema. It is so nice during the young days. At times, we would having couple date with Jasmine and her bf Derek. All of us are very close and one day, Derek and Jasmine is asking Aaron and me to join them to chalet and play. I look at Aaron and both of us know that it would be a nice moment that we could together in the late night. Hence I lied to my parents that I would be staying at my best friend house for that night. They agree as they know my best friend since we are in the primary school. My best friend will cover me if my parents call.
I am excited that I could with Aaron that day and we went to the chalet. We are introduce to another couple Shermaine and Kelvin and other 2 males friends KT and Jay. They would be staying overnight. Others friends I do not remember their names. All of us are quite happy eating BBQ, chatting and playing games. It is my first time to try what is beer is. I stay with Aaron and Jasmine most of the time as most of the people I am not too close. When the games start, more people get closer and alot of laughers in the house. Jay and KT start to bring out hard liquor for the games. Some of the people are quite drunk after playing the games and drinking and left the chalet. Hence as people getting lesser, Jasmine ask Aaron and me to join in. We start to play and at times I lost, Aaron drink for me. He lost he drink as well. After seeing him drink quite a lot, I did try to drink a few small cups as well. In the end, Aaron and Jay had passed out. The games stop. Kelvin, Derek and KT help up them to wash up and carry them on the bed in the different room. After the tired night, Jasmine tell me she also quite high want to shower first and go and sleep. I let Jasmine and Shermaine bath first and they can rest first as both of them drink quite a lot.
After I have my shower, I went to the room. It is complete darkness. I on the light and see where is my bf and I quickly off the light and went sleep beside him. That time Jasmine and Shermaine is sleep in different beds in the room. Each had 1 bed to share. 1 top and 2 bottom. I could not see who is sleeping beside my bed, is it Jasmine or Shermaine? I hug my bf that time but he is really passed out. I kind of piss off as this is our first time sleeping together and he forget me. It a tired night and I went sleepy and unclick my bra and went to sleep. I can’t sleep well with my bra.
After a moment, someone on the light and went into the room. I guess is Kelvin and Derek come in to sleep. I continue to sleep once they off the light.
In the middle of my sleep, I start to feel a hand is touching my thigh. The feeling is nice and gentle and I am quite happy that my bf start to awake and remember me. I continue to sleep and enjoy the touch. He start to pet me on my short. I am quite relax to let him touch me as we had been doing it in the cinema especially during that holiday we did it quite often. I am enjoying how he petting very slowly and make me very relax and enjoy. At a moment, I feel he want to put down my short, I resist. He continue to pet me and went in my short to touch me. The feeling is very different as Aaron always pet me on my short or my panties as we are in public. This time his fingers touch me directly, I start to feel my body get intense. The feeling is getting stronger compare the petting in the past. I feel like to make sound and I remember I am in the room with other people. I start to use my pillow to cover my face and letting him to touch me. Slowly he try to pull my short down and keep rubbing me. I let him continue as I am still wearing my panties. The more he rub, I felt my body get warmer and it is my first time experience getting so high. He make me getting my first cum that getting so enjoy and it keep continue. He start to remove my panties, I try to hold it, and scare he is going to have sex with me. But in the end when I am cumming, I let go my hand. I am quite surprise how I can be keep cumming. To surprise me, I thought I am going to have sex, he start to lick me instead. This make me crazy, I can’t believe Aaron making me so high. The feeling is so different from just petting with fingers. I keep cover my face hard and cover my moan. I start to think of how is it like if he penetrate into me. The more I think, I getting myself into sex mood.
After I have cum, I am thinking he is going in and I am waiting to feel it and kind of excited. He did not penetrate me, he use his penis to rub me and start touch my nipples. I felt my nipples are very hard. I start to feel I am in a lost world, I got the feeling urging him to penetrate me faster. I keep waiting for him and feel his penis is outside me. This feeling is something I can’t forget. He make me feel like I want to have sex with him. When he use his penis rubbing my entrance, I really got feeling I want to move myself to him. I start to move my bum when he rubbing me and it is such a strong feeling. He slowly start to penetrate me, it is crazy pain. My mind is wtf it is not the same thinking that it is very nice. He slowly move in deeper and deeper. I am bearing the pain. Once he fully penetrate in, he start to move in and out slowly. I can feel his inside me although it is still very pain. After a while of moving forwards and backwards, I feel it not so pain and I start to enjoy moving deep in. He start pushing in and sucking my nipples. I felt my breasts are getting bigger and it is a strange feeling which I like it. He keep pumping me, every moment I felt his penis and I tell myself that oh that is sex. It is really nice when someone you love having a body to body. After a while, I had cum again. He keep penetrate me, the more he went in, the feeling is stronger and I want more. I start to adjust my body to him get in me and keep covering my moan. My body getting more and more tired and heart is very happy. I start to let him hold my legs up to his shoulder and I have no resist. The feeling get me much stronger and deeper and make me to have multiply cum. The moment he pump me very hard, I try to use my hand to stop him. This moment, I accidently touch someone sleeping beside me. My mind is lost, Aaron is sleep beside me, who is having sex with me. He keep pumping me, my body keep enjoying and my mind went confuse and let him continue.
He remove his penis from me, my body is so tired and move the pillow aside. Suddenly, he use his penis to rub my lip. He use his hand ask me to open my mouth for him. I do not know what am I thinking, my mind is blank. I follow him and open my mouth. He start to move inside my mouth. I did not think much, then suddenly I feel like the movement is like he is having sex with me just now. I start to turn on again. I start to lick him thinking the moment he lick me just now. I feel like I want sex again and I start to suck for him. The more I suck, I felt his penis is inside me. I turn out enjoying it. He finally cum into me. I do not know what to do with it and I am very tired. My body got no energy to move and I swallow his cum. I lying down breathing hardly, he wear back my short and put my panties inside my shorts. I quickly fall asleep after that and still feeling aroused and pain.
When I wake up, all of them had wake up. My mind is keep thinking that I should act as normal. I quickly went toilet to wash up and take a quick shower. During the shower, I still thinking of last night what is happening and at the meantime I felt very pain after last night. Hence I told Aaron that I am not feeling well and would not join them for breakfast in not a pleasant mood. Aaron felt guilty that he passed out last night and did not accompany me which make me angry. Hence in the whole journey back home, I turn out to giving him black face. Actually my mind is still thinking who is the person, how it happen and of course the pain below me make me piss off. Every time I have cross my legs, I felt the pain inside me.
When I reach home, I can’t stop thinking. There are numbers of thoughts in my mind. Did anyone found out what I did last night? I am doing with someone else boyfriend, am I very bad girl? Will his girlfriend know about it? How will others look at me if they found out? My first time given to someone who I do not know. These make a lot of depression in me and I start to cry in my bed over the nights. I found myself hopeless and lost. Aaron message me during the night, I try to tell him that I am just feeling unwell. In fact it is true that physically and emotionally I felt very pain. The tear inside my virginal make me crazy, every strong movement I had. I felt the pain. The pain takes me a few days and slowly gone, this make me do not feel like going out. During those days, I try to tell myself to let it over and forget about it. However, during the night or daydreaming, I would think back the whole process in detail trying to find out who is the guy. At the meantime, I felt myself very stupid to let this happen.
During one of the night thinking of it again. I close my eyes and think back the moment I am lying on the bed. I felt my body got aroused when imagination gone wild. I felt my virginal is not that pain, yet I still felt the strong feeling inside me. I could imagine how the penis penetrate me that night and how my body react to it. I start to miss the feeling and my body start to react. I hug my bolster closely and felt he is between me. Slowly I use my virginal to rub against the bolster, it become so natural to me that my body like it alot. My mind is remind of that night and I touch my body to feel as like he is touching. I start to think of him rubbing me and slowly I slip my hand inside my short and rub myself. I can felt my virginal is very easily get wet and the feeling is much stronger than the past. The enjoyment is nice and keep rub myself until I got cum. I felt my body is relieve. I got myself first masturbation and quite surprise of body relieved. After the touch, I tell myself I should not do it again. However I felt my body is getting sensitive when touch especially when I am showering.
As days passed, I met up with Aaron. I try to get things like normal. He is pleased that I met him up and we are like normal couple. At times, I try test him out is he the guy having sex with me. But it seem like he really passed out that day. I try to forget and move on and since I am not close to the group. I thought everything would be same as the past and we met up Aaron for movie. During the movie, he start to touch me and saying alot of sweet thing such as missing me. My body start to react fast, he could feel that my vagina become very wet when he rubbing on my panties. (I am wearing dress that day) I try to control myself however every time I try to close my eye to enjoy the feeling being touch, my mind is all over that night having sex. I could feel Aaron is quite surprise on how I react. He start to be more daring, putting my hand to touch his penis. When I start to hold his penis, I felt abit shy. As he slip his finger into my panties and start to rubbing me directly and I start to imagine of his penis inside me. My hand start to help him rub as well. I keep control myself and felt wanted his penis go into me. After a while, suddenly I think of we are in the cinema. I managed to stop him before I start to moan. He was respectful to me and stop. I saw disappointment in his eye. We continued watch the movie, however in my mind, I felt I like betray him. I am thinking of having sex with the other guy when he is still beside me. My heart start felt guilty and thinking how well he treat me like a princess. In the end, I message him that late night and ask for break off. My heart sunk deeply and keep crying over nights.
While trying to forget everything and move on with my life, I start to concentrate my studies and activities in my JC life. During this period, I did not have bf and my life is only with school, home and going out with friends. Of course at times, I did follow Aaron facebook. He found a new gf, I did happy for him but in my heart still felt the pain.
There is not much excitement during my JC days except there is one incident happen after A level exam. My best friend Amy who I know her during JC days asking me want to try out clubbing. Initially I am not interested because I do not know how to dance. After numbers of persuade from Amy want me to accompany her to join her friends, I gave in and agreed to go with her. I met up Amy at her house, I worn a normal floral dress. She insist I had to change and passed me a black dress to change. When I put on the dress, the dress is very short and tight to the body. As I am wearing my safety short, the length of my safety short is longer than her dress. I did not feel comfortable wearing it, however she worn a much daring with a bare back dress. I did not comment much as thought it was part of the dress code. I removed my safety short and show her. She praised that I did fit the dress well and she even help me to make up. Its my first time to make up and dress like this.
On the way to the club, I felt the dress quite easy move upwards when I walk. I tried to pull my dress down time to time. Amy told me I would slowly used to it. I was introduced to a group of girls who is one of them know Amy. We entered the club. It was my first time visit to a club. I saw the people are well dressed. The place was dark with strong music and lighting. I followed the group to a huge table. There are guys and girls already start drinking, playing games and dancing. There are many liquors on the table. I sit beside Amy and look around. Amy passed me a glass of liquor and ask me not to drink too fast and just slowly drink for the whole night. After a while, Amy saw her friends and went over to find them. I sat alone and looked around.
A guy within the group approached me. His name was Alex, a smart and fit looking guy. He started chatting with me and keep joke with me. This make me feel relaxed and did open me up to chat with him. He taught me some games and saying these games are often play in club. I started to learn from him, however when I lost I had to drink a slip of my drink. He would drink a complete glass of his. While drinking my 2nd glass, I felt my body getting more relax and open up.
After a while he suggested me to go dance floor to dance with him, but I tell him I did not know how to dance. He held my hand and said he will teach me. Before moving to the dance floor, he tossed me and finish up my glass. He held my hand go to the dance floor. I saw people were funny. Some did not how to dance. Some just stood there and rock their body. Some keep laughing. Alex held my hand, asked me just relax myself and request me to move my body and feel the music. He told me just enjoy the night having fun. I started to move my body by following how people dance at the dance floor. With the strong music and the effect of the liquor, I felt very relax and happy with Alex. Suddenly the song from fast moving song turn to slow song, Alex pulled me to him and he hugged me dancing with him. It quite a long time I got hug by a guy. I started to lie on his shoulder and dance around. His hands start to move slowly around my back to my bum. Suddenly he hold my waist and look into my eye. I did know how to react that moment and looking closely at him. I realized he was quite man and handsome. He started to kiss me. He used his tongue move on my lips and slowly inside my mouth. I started to kiss back him and his hand started to moving all around my back. Once the song stop, he held my hand like his gf. I also did not know what is going on. My mind was thinking like love in first sight in drama feeling. I got back some familiar feeling of being held my hand tight by someone.
He held my hand back to the table and his friends like very happy when we were back. I started open up myself and we played more drinking games with him. I started to felt abit dizziness and felt everything become slow moving and my vision and hearing become unclear. I told Alex I am not feeling very well, let’s stop playing and I need some rest. He held me to his shoulder close to him and whisper into my ear. At time he will kiss my ear and neck and I could felt his hands were touching my back. I hug him and slowly lie on him as I getting more dizziness. I heard he was asking me am I feeling ok, on the other hand I felt his hand was playing with my bra. Slowly slip in and play with my nipples, I could felt they are hardened and my breasts like getting bigger. His another hand was touching my thigh. I felt aroused by his touch. After a while, he suggest to bring me go somewhere. At the moment, I am quite stone and very sleepy mood. I did not really bother what he suggest to me. I told him I need to go to the ladies first. After I came out of the toilet, I felt my head was still very heavy and I can’t walk well. I stand aside leaning against the wall and let myself cool down. Amy came to me and asked me go home with her. I hugged her and followed her home.
I slept at Amy house. After I woke up, my head still hurt. Amy and I lying on the bed. Amy smiled at me and asked me did I enjoy last night? She asked me did I remember what did I done last night. I told her I am chatting with a guy call Alex, play some games and dance with him. Amy told me what she saw when she went back to the table. She saw me drank quite alot. The guys at table like keep pouring to my glass and made me drink with them. A guy carried me and sat on him. We started kissing and he touching me all over the place. At a moment I was back facing her and hugging the guy. She saw my dress is like pulling up almost to my bum from back view. The guy was hugging me and his hand moving around my back. On the other hand, he looked like he was petting me. I told her I really can’t remembered well, I remembered I felt very dizziness and I started lying on the sofa. Then I went toilet and I remember I saw her at the toilet area. (In my heart, I did remember my body got aroused and keep having sex urge last night. I dare not share with Amy) Amy said she did help me to change up when we reach her house before put me on her bed. I was totally drunk, she undressed me and helped me put on her sleeping dress. I looked down and realized I was really wearing different dress. She laughed that if she was a guy, she could have sex with me and tensing on my figure. (My mind was like she saw my body and how she thought of me after last night)