-
She was not ready for Marriage.
-
She was not ready to have Children
-
She was not ready for Marriage.
-
She was not ready to have Children
-
I am not Romantic
-
My attention is only for the kids, not her
-
Always bring kids along for holidays, not just with her.
dude…..watever advice(s) written is gonna b HARD for u …..cos deep down inside (i tink) u oredi knoe there is no way she is gonna change … tis “charades” (about being “happy” in front of her) is not gonna help at all……
the darn ting is “WTF….wat prompted her to realise that she is not ready to be married n a mother after 12 years ?” ….i presume tis question have been with u for a long time …….
dude …….its time to get a NEW lease of life……forget abt her (its gonna b HARD) …..n gif ur kids wat they deserve ……ur kids deserve better …..u jus gotta love ur children more as they are sufferring too ……..
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sigh…
Not ready for marriage, but u are both married.
Not ready for children but ended up having 3 kids??? 1st child
might
be due to shotgun, how about 2nd & 3rd?
Seem to be all excuses.
I sense more reason not mention by threadstarter, u seem to protray a ‘clean’ image’ for yourself, care to share more insight on yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mask
Not ready for children but ended up having 3 kids??? 1st child
might
be due to shotgun, how about 2nd & 3rd?
Seem to be all excuses.
hahaha… stories like these in sbf usually have a lot of loop holes.
Firstly, I am sorry for my bad english & all the gammar mistakes.
To answer a few of the Bros questions.
Bro StoneCold
- I have NEVER had a affair with anyone before but she always think otherwise. She always wanted me in work in a all male office.
- I have tried many times to try to sit down and talk to her but she will always remind me, it’s too late & her heart is with him.
- I have actually mention to her about marriage counsellors but she insist that they can’t help.
- Bro, I am very sure I can forgive her, I have done it before as this is not the first time.
Bro Mask
- All my 3 kids were planned, no of them was Shot-Gun case.
- I am not saying I am Perfect, I do have quite a bad temper BUT I have never beaten her or whatever. Just that when we argue, both of us will rasie our voices. I smoke but I don’t drink & party, I’m the kind of boring stay at home, kind of person. It had been at least 2 years since I even meet my MALE buddy for a coffee too.
- She seems to think that the kids are pulling her back from really going out to enjoy herself and I have become too boring (I stop going out to party after we had our first child)
Bro Raymond
- I had mention to her to go for a short trip recently but she don’t want to, she’s very stress about what we are going to do when we are alone there.
I think maybe she worry I’ll rape her there.
Thanks for all the replies!
Bro Sigh…wat u goin thru is not easy and I understand wat u might hav felt…if u stil beleive tat somewhere in her heart tat she stil loves u, my advice is dont give up since both of u alreadi hav 3 kids…the most effected will be de kids, not u or ur wife…wish that things will go 4 de better for u and ur family
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sigh…
Hi All, I have created a new nick (paisay lah) to ask for advise, as I know some Bro here, gives really good advise.
I have been married for 12yrs & have 3 kids. Recently my wife confessed that she’s been seeing another man & is planning to leave us all. Reasons for the break down of marriage, given by her are:
Please help!
Hi bro,
from what i read here, all the above 5 “reasons” are not valid. The true reason for her to leave the entire family is becoz she is seeing another man. As a parent, whether a father or mother… there is no way you will dump the kids… you can dump your wife or husband, but never the kids. The only reason for someone so heartless as to dump the kids is only becoz he/she wanted to start a new with another guy/girl as the other party may not want to look after the offsprings of the previous “owner”.
if i were to be in your shoes, i let her go and keep the kids. you should consider lucky that she does not fight over you for the kids.
and good luck to the guy that she will be with …..
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Castrol
hahaha… stories like these in sbf usually have a lot of loop holes.
Nothings perfect in this world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sigh…
I have been married for 12yrs & have 3 kids. Recently my wife confessed that she’s been seeing another man & is planning to leave us all……….
I still love her and I don’t want to break the family up but I am not sure how long I can keep this up. I know she have no intention to bring any of the kids with her, when she leaves. She also keep mentioning to me not to waste too much time & effort on her, cos she give up leow.
If you guys are in my shoe, what will you do?
Please help!
-——————
It takes alot to write one’s life for public information and to seek help. More so, from men. And it is also easy as well to be cynical for we had been been plagued by attention seekers and a variety of con artistes here.
However, i would rather erred on the side of the good than to make mistakes by being cynical, in the event the story is true, hurting a man more than we should and closing the avenue that be of help to deal with a painful situation some will share at some point in his life. No one escapes life’s roller coaster ride.
By sharing experiences, we will learn something from it, thru annonymity of the internet forum, espacially for us sg men who tend to keep problems to ourselves, being nurtured from young in the traditional Confucian mold, pressed upon by our authorities to forgo the individuality of the west and conform to the good for society and bullied by the strong women’s lobby here. Took a minister mentor to confirm and admit it - we are a 5 k society, kiasu, kiasee,etc…and kia bor!
However, i can only offer suggestions based on what was written and as for other facts which you may be uncomfortable to relate, you will have to deal with it in your own way.
You are not alone in the situation that you had written about. Many more others, espacially sg men are caught up with it, though may not be similar in everyway, but in some way, either more drastic or less so.
Our sg womenfolk are a pampared lot, fed with fairytales and hollywood fantasies. They know not what is reality and their expectations are high. When truth meets fantasies, they are disillusion and stupidly seek a way out through another man to fulfill their fantasies - from the pot into the frying pan.
It is idiotic for women to compare us to swinging liberal westerners and their illusions, for we are a far different society than theirs. Welfarism and protectionism are strong in their society, but for us men in singapore, we stop work, we die, hardly have the time to ‘smell the roses’. The pace is too globally fast and for those who are slower, they get relegated far far behind, and get stepped upon by our pampared womenfolk for being useless.
When young and carefree, we can afford to be romantic as our needs are small, but after getting married, we men’s responsibilities are greater - the house, the kids, the maintenance cost of living, etc.
Other asian women love us because we are responsible. Singapore is well known and successful
NOT
because of the authorities or its MNCs. Singapore is
NOT
just a ‘rich’ name.
It is us
, the obedient little guys that made Spore great, militarily and economically. Without
OUR
effort and contributions, yielding up our individuality for the greater good of our society, spore would be nothing more than just a fishing village.
From what you wrote, i would assume you to be a responsible man for you have 3 kids!. It takes a lotta guts and determination to bring even one kid into this world. Thus i can see that it is of no surprise that you don’t have time to be ‘romantic’, or to the deluded expectations of your wife.
After what she had done to you, you still love her, goes to show an admirable trait in you, for not many men are able to accept that fact alone.
My suggestion to you if you truly love her, set her free to live her dreams.She doesnt understand you and the difficulty you face in rearing 3 kids. Most unhappiness of a home stemmed from money. It’s not easy in spore for our wages are kept real low in order to compete with our neighbours, but the cost of modern living skyrockets.
At least a little money is better than no money. Unfortunately, our pampered princesses of a sg female do not understand this fact or refused to do so, insists on comparing and looking out for the expatriate who has deep pockets and just out for some fun in the guise of being a ‘romantic lover’. She will learn sooner or later, such men do have to work too, more frequently and wont have time to be romantic once the honeymoon period is over.
If it’s not because of money and the reasons for her feelings are as you wrote, still the suggestion would be to let her go, for once a woman have such feelings in her mind, she will make use of it even at the slightest provocation. There will be no pleasing her, your love and sacrifice of your pride is beneath her notice and unnecessary,
Face the fact, bro, she doesnt love you and kids anymore. Men can fuck and forget after we cummed, but women can fuck and wont forget. For her to sacrifice herself and give herself totally to another man means she has cast your suit of love off her heart. Her other man means more to her than you and kids.
I know the pain, but no use holding on to non-existant love. You cant just live on hope of a return alone. Your kids deserve a better woman, if not you. Time to think for the kids, bro. They are innocent and deserve a better future. No point having a woman as a mother who doesnt even want them in the first place. I had met some local women who behave such. They exists. Just as better local women exists too. You only need time and patience to find one worthy of you and your kid’s love, whether you are rich or poor, young or old, handsome or ugly.
I know that what i suggests is painful, but like a toothache, if you don’t pull out the bad tooth, it will hurt you every second of your life. But in your case, it will hurt your kids life too if remedial action is not taken.
Take care, i wish you all the best, may things work out good for you and cheers!
.
I have the same thoughts as you about Singapore women. Just to add on something.
We can do a simple comparison about the progression of men versus women. Men now has to juggle career and family responsibilities because of equality and because we love our partner. Women now claims to be smart, independent and opinionated but they lost all the skills of what our mothers can do….. e.g. cook well, look after all the small little details in the household. Men’s standard has increased tremendously with these responsibilties but Women’s standard has slipped big time compared to our mothers.
Singapore is always talking about holding onto our legacy by keeping heritage buildings, but how about the virtues of a wife and mother? 80% of the Singapore women lost all of these virtues. The remaining 20% are few and far between and are slowly being influenced by the rotten 80%.
Women always think that Men will change, but the fact is we don’t. (we are simple, give us a computer game, soccer and sex, we are happy).
Women always think that they themselves will never change, but the fact is their expectations on their men keeps increasing, and then they finally change their heart.
And when women change their heart, they never look back and if they do…. its usually with an ulterior motive or some hidden agenda. More often than not to use their ex-s as temporary life-saving boats until the next Star Cruise comes by……
Quote:
Originally Posted by
WillamSexsphere
-——————
It takes alot to write one’s life for public information and to seek help. More so, from men. And it is also easy as well to be cynical for we had been been plagued by attention seekers and a variety of con artistes here.
However, i would rather erred on the side of the good than to make mistakes by being cynical, in the event the story is true, hurting a man more than we should and closing the avenue that be of help to deal with a painful situation some will share at some point in his life. No one escapes life’s roller coaster ride.
By sharing experiences, we will learn something from it, thru annonymity of the internet forum, espacially for us sg men who tend to keep problems to ourselves, being nurtured from young in the traditional Confucian mold, pressed upon by our authorities to forgo the individuality of the west and conform to the good for society and bullied by the strong women’s lobby here. Took a minister mentor to confirm and admit it - we are a 5 k society, kiasu, kiasee,etc…and kia bor!
However, i can only offer suggestions based on what was written and as for other facts which you may be uncomfortable to relate, you will have to deal with it in your own way.
You are not alone in the situation that you had written about. Many more others, espacially sg men are caught up with it, though may not be similar in everyway, but in some way, either more drastic or less so.
Our sg womenfolk are a pampared lot, fed with fairytales and hollywood fantasies. They know not what is reality and their expectations are high. When truth meets fantasies, they are disillusion and stupidly seek a way out through another man to fulfill their fantasies - from the pot into the frying pan.
It is idiotic for women to compare us to swinging liberal westerners and their illusions, for we are a far different society than theirs. Welfarism and protectionism are strong in their society, but for us men in singapore, we stop work, we die, hardly have the time to ‘smell the roses’. The pace is too globally fast and for those who are slower, they get relegated far far behind, and get stepped upon by our pampared womenfolk for being useless.
When young and carefree, we can afford to be romantic as our needs are small, but after getting married, we men’s responsibilities are greater - the house, the kids, the maintenance cost of living, etc.
Other asian women love us because we are responsible. Singapore is well known and successful
NOT
because of the authorities or its MNCs. Singapore is
NOT
just a ‘rich’ name.
It is us
, the obedient little guys that made Spore great, militarily and economically. Without
OUR
effort and contributions, yielding up our individuality for the greater good of our society, spore would be nothing more than just a fishing village.
From what you wrote, i would assume you to be a responsible man for you have 3 kids!. It takes a lotta guts and determination to bring even one kid into this world. Thus i can see that it is of no surprise that you don’t have time to be ‘romantic’, or to the deluded expectations of your wife.
After what she had done to you, you still love her, goes to show an admirable trait in you, for not many men are able to accept that fact alone.
My suggestion to you if you truly love her, set her free to live her dreams.She doesnt understand you and the difficulty you face in rearing 3 kids. Most unhappiness of a home stemmed from money. It’s not easy in spore for our wages are kept real low in order to compete with our neighbours, but the cost of modern living skyrockets.
At least a little money is better than no money. Unfortunately, our pampered princesses of a sg female do not understand this fact or refused to do so, insists on comparing and looking out for the expatriate who has deep pockets and just out for some fun in the guise of being a ‘romantic lover’. She will learn sooner or later, such men do have to work too, more frequently and wont have time to be romantic once the honeymoon period is over.
If it’s not because of money and the reasons for her feelings are as you wrote, still the suggestion would be to let her go, for once a woman have such feelings in her mind, she will make use of it even at the slightest provocation. There will be no pleasing her, your love and sacrifice of your pride is beneath her notice and unnecessary,
Face the fact, bro, she doesnt love you and kids anymore. Men can fuck and forget after we cummed, but women can fuck and wont forget. For her to sacrifice herself and give herself totally to another man means she has cast your suit of love off her heart. Her other man means more to her than you and kids.
I know the pain, but no use holding on to non-existant love. You cant just live on hope of a return alone. Your kids deserve a better woman, if not you. Time to think for the kids, bro. They are innocent and deserve a better future. No point having a woman as a mother who doesnt even want them in the first place. I had met some local women who behave such. They exists. Just as better local women exists too. You only need time and patience to find one worthy of you and your kid’s love, whether you are rich or poor, young or old, handsome or ugly.
I know that what i suggests is painful, but like a toothache, if you don’t pull out the bad tooth, it will hurt you every second of your life. But in your case, it will hurt your kids life too if remedial action is not taken.
Take care, i wish you all the best, may things work out good for you and cheers!
.
just severe all ties from her..and keep her away from
YOUR
children till your last breath..tell them they don’t have such a mother and that she is only a woman who gave birth to them not a mother to them
you are my idol bro
i sincerely wish you all the best