Prologue
Have you ever walked past the most perfect stranger on a crowded downtown street, taking in all of their enrapturing beauty in a cacophony of joy and bliss, yet breaking apart in pieces inside with the fact that you would most probably never see them again in your life? Ever exchanged glances with that person, be it a colleague, a classmate, or even a random stranger you run into on the streets and you instinctively know that he or she is the one for you? In desperation you turn to social dating apps like Tinder or Paktor and even Facebook, clinging on to that faintest bit of hope just in order to see that person again. More often than not, it never works. You go back to the same place where you first saw them. Same time, same day and you even dress in the same attire. It’s all for nothing. That golden opportunity at a lifetime’s happiness just came and went by right infront of your eyes.
But…
What if technology grew so advanced that you would have the chance to own a smartwatch that could analyze you, match you to someone who had a 95% chance of falling in love with you and could countdown to the exact moment that you meet your other half, would you want to know? I most certainly did. So when it finally came out, I got myself one. I keyed in my particulars, my likes, my hobbies, etc. Then it was done. I was online and searching, single but available only to the right one.
A month went by. Then a year. Then two. The numbers on the countdown timer strapped to my wrist never changed, they’ve always been at zero.
I’m Vee Koe. I’m 21 and this is my story.
Chapter One
The bright rays of the morning sun filtered through the curtains and cast a warm hue against my face. The chirping of birds serenaded the morning skies as I lay in bed looking out of the windows. The alarm clock suddenly sounded, cutting through the stillness of the morning like a hot knife through butter. I snoozed it and rolled out of bed where I fell in a crumpled heap on the floor. I looked around my room and my eyes landed on my recent received Degree certificate mounted next to all my other academic achievements. I chuckled to myself as I looked at it hanging on the wall. I had always imagined that I would have a sense of accomplishment upon completing my course but now I was feeling pretty much like any other young graduate would feel now, lost in a concrete jungle with an expensive piece of paper in my hand and totally no clue as to my next step ahead in life.
Yet today was different, late last night while getting myself wasted at one of the many pubs at Holland V, the watch beeped. Cupid had chosen me and suddenly the world felt different. I had to check twice to make sure I wasn’t drunk and true enough, the countdown timer had started moving in running numbers.
It was today. I was finally going to meet the love of my life today. I caught sight of my disheveled self in the mirror and was mortified by what I saw. Jesus, I needed to take a shower and get my act together.
2 hrs later.
“Do I look pretty enough?”
“Should I tie up my hair or let it down?”
I could feel my heart pounding away wildly in my chest. Forget the butterflies in the stomach cliché, I felt as though the entire aviary of Jurong Bird Park was loose in my tummy.
40 seconds.
I could hardly contain my excitement. Somewhere, someone within these walls or in the surrounding area is looking at the exact same countdown as me. They’re going through exactly the same thoughts that’s running through my mind right at this moment. I look down at myself. My dear mum had told me to be excited about this moment and made me wear a dress. It’s totally not me. I’m not a dress-y girl. I mean, shouldn’t my other half see me as the girl I really am? The Lonsdale tee, the jeans and the Converse sneakers?
15 seconds.
Something inside me tells me to get up from my table and head towards the door. My heart is beating so furiously in my chest that I’m certain the entire café could hear it. I continue in that direction that my inner feeling is guiding me towards, my heart picking up its tempo with each step I take.
5 seconds. All hell has broken loose in all my nerves.
4 seconds. My eyes dart frantically around the room, searching for someone who looks just as anxious and as lost as I am. Someone like me. Someone for me. Someone who would love me.
3 seconds.
2 seconds.
1 second.
0 D 0 H 0 M 0 S.
“Hey.”
I feel a tap on my shoulder. I spin around and gasp.
The day after graduation I woke up feeling pretty much like any other young graduate would feel now, lost in a concrete jungle with an expensive piece of paper in my hand and totally no clue as to my next step ahead in life. So much for the said sense of accomplishment or as my school’s motto promised me that I was going to make dreams into success. I rolled out of bed lazily and fell in a crumpled heap at the foot of my bed.
Then the watch beeped.
I blinked twice, making sure that it wasn’t the hangover from last night’s party that had gotten into my head. No, there it was. I stared down at the little strap on my arm and at the running numbers on the timer. I couldn’t believe it. Cupid had chosen me and suddenly the world felt different. I caught a glimpse of my disheveled self in the mirror and was mortified. I needed to get my shit together cos no one would be wanting a girl that looked like some leftover goods on a shelf.
2 hours later
Occasional glances in the mirror or any reflective surface that would suffice as one. I could feel my heart pounding away wildly in my chest. Forget the butterflies in the stomach cliché, I felt as though the entire aviary of Jurong Bird Park was loose in my tummy.
One minute, 45 seconds.
I could feel the excitement level turn itself a notch up. I was literally shaking with anxiety.
40 seconds.
I could hardly contain my excitement. Somewhere, someone within these walls is looking at the exact same countdown as me. They’re going through exactly the same thoughts running through my mind now. I look down at myself. My dear mum had told me to be excited about this moment and made me wear a dress. It’s totally not me. I’m not a dress-y kind of girl. I mean, shouldn’t my other half see me as the girl I really am? The Lonsdale tee, the jeans and the Converse sneakers?
15 seconds.
I swear that I’m about to faint. Something inside me tells me to get up from my table and head towards the door. My heart is beating so furiously in my chest that I was certain the entire café could hear it. I continue in that direction that my inner feeling is guiding me towards, my heart picking up its tempo with each step I take.
5 seconds. All hell has broken loose in all my nerves.
4 seconds. My eyes dart frantically around the room, searching for someone who looks just as anxious and as lost as I am. Someone like me. Someone for me. Someone who would love me.
3 seconds. Everything is going to change. I’m on the brink of tears.
2 seconds. I stop searching.
1 second. Here goes all or nothing.
0 D 0 H 0 M 0 S.
“Hey.”
I feel a tap on my shoulder. I spin around and my eyes met his, and I knew from that moment, life had begun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
50shadesofpsych
the day after graduation i woke up feeling pretty much like any other young graduate would feel now, lost in a concrete jungle with an expensive piece of paper in my hand and totally no clue as to my next step ahead in life. So much for the said sense of accomplishment or as my school’s motto promised me that i was going to make dreams into success. I rolled out of bed lazily and fell in a crumpled heap at the foot of my bed.
Then the watch beeped.
I blinked twice, making sure that it wasn’t the hangover from last night’s party that had gotten into my head. No, there it was. I stared down at the little strap on my arm and at the running numbers on the timer. I couldn’t believe it. Cupid had chosen me and suddenly the world felt different. I caught a glimpse of my disheveled self in the mirror and was mortified. I needed to get my shit together cos no one would be wanting a girl that looked like some leftover goods on a shelf.
2 hours later
occasional glances in the mirror or any reflective surface that would suffice as one. I could feel my heart pounding away wildly in my chest. Forget the butterflies in the stomach cliché, i felt as though the entire aviary of jurong bird park was loose in my tummy.
One minute, 45 seconds.
I could feel the excitement level turn itself a notch up. I was literally shaking with anxiety.
40 seconds.
I could hardly contain my excitement. Somewhere, someone within these walls is looking at the exact same countdown as me. They’re going through exactly the same thoughts running through my mind now. I look down at myself. My dear mum had told me to be excited about this moment and made me wear a dress. It’s totally not me. I’m not a dress-y kind of girl. I mean, shouldn’t my other half see me as the girl i really am? The lonsdale tee, the jeans and the converse sneakers?
15 seconds.
I swear that i’m about to faint. Something inside me tells me to get up from my table and head towards the door. My heart is beating so furiously in my chest that i was certain the entire café could hear it. I continue in that direction that my inner feeling is guiding me towards, my heart picking up its tempo with each step i take.
5 seconds. All hell has broken loose in all my nerves.
4 seconds. My eyes dart frantically around the room, searching for someone who looks just as anxious and as lost as i am. Someone like me. Someone for me. Someone who would love me.
3 seconds. Everything is going to change. I’m on the brink of tears.
2 seconds. I stop searching.
1 second. Here goes all or nothing.
0 d 0 h 0 m 0 s.
“hey.”
i feel a tap on my shoulder. I spin around and my eyes met his, and i knew from that moment, life had begun.
wrong post guys this was supposed to be the pre-edit. Kindly ignore this portion thanks! Apologies once again!
Chapter Two
2 years earlier
I sit opposite my bestie Julianna Peh and watch the uncontrollable excitement on her face grow with each passing moment. There’s just 3 more minutes, she tells me happily. We’re waiting on the platform at Queenstown MRT station just after school on a Saturday afternoon and the train is arriving in 4 minutes. To be honest, I was rather hoping that she’d meet her other half in a more romantic fashion, like on a beach at sunset or while strolling around Marina Bay, but Cupid works in mysterious ways.
“You nervous?” I ask her.
“Nah.” she smiles as she replies but the smile doesn’t really feel genuine. She’s looking around, tapping her fingers, her eyes wide with anxiety? Excitement? I cannot tell. I can’t blame her. This is her future being determined here, right now, in 1 minute.
“The train approaching platform A terminates its service at Pasir Ris.”
I look at her.
“I’ll leave you alone for now yeah? I’ll be in the next compartment if you need me. Good luck.”
She hugs me and gives me a light peck on the cheek. “Thanks babe.”
The train arrives and we both get on via different doors. I steal a quick glance at her to see how she’s holding up and she looks rather nervous. I want to go up to her and reassure her that everything’s going to be alright but I’m afraid it would ruin the moment for her. She turns around and catches my eye and I give her an OK sign as she forces a smile. I take a standing position by the window and silently pray that her other half wouldn’t be late. The train door is about to close when there’s a sudden sound of frantic footsteps and a white figure rushes past me and into the train just as the door closes and the train moves off.
“Next station, Redhill.”
I study this new arrival. She’s tall and slim, dressed in a white Adidas jacket, with matching white Adidas Stan Smith sneakers. She has that same frantic look in her eyes as my bestie does. I catch a glimpse of her face. She’s pretty, with minimal makeup and holding a hockey stick. I chuckle quietly to myself as my friend hates sports. They are so going to click together.
3 seconds. She spots my bestie, and vice versa.
2 seconds. They head towards each other, as though bound by an invisible rope that is pulling them together. It’s such a beautiful moment.
1 second.
“Thank God,” the Adidas girl said. “I almost missed you. I’m so sorry, I got caught up with practice and..” my friend silences her mid-sentence by taking her face in her hands and planting a kiss on her lips. Their lips disappear as they melt into each other, body against body, the flame of the inner desire lit alight after staying dormant all these years. The world around has faded into nothingness, each other’s body now a holy grail that they seek. The train reaches the next station and they break away, staring into each other’s eyes.
“That was amazing,” Adidas girl said and reached out her hand. “I’m Steph.”
My friend smiled. “Julianna, but you can call me Juli.” They smile at each other and continue their conversation as the train doors open and commuters alight and board. The train door closes as it makes its way to the next station and enters a tunnel. I look at my friend basking in her newfound happiness. They’re so happy, so blessed to be together. I look down at the timer strapped to my wrist and look out into the pitch darkness in disappointment. The numbers have never changed since the day I bought the watch. I let out a depressed sigh.
Oh Cupid, why have you forsaken me?
Chapter Three
I found myself at one of the pubs at Holland Village again that night. It was my fifth glass, and just as I went for my sixth, I heard a familiar tune come over the pub’s sound system. It was an oldie, Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. That was the song that was being played when my dad met my mum so many years ago. I wondered when my endless love would come and judging by the looks of things, it wasn’t going to be anytime soon. I imagined Juli and her other half enjoying each other’s company while I was here, alone in this crowded pub drinking my guts out.
Someone sat in the empty seat next to mine, it was a young Indian guy, clean shaven and with tattoos running down his left arm. He reeked of alcohol and tobacco, a sign that he probably had been here for quite awhile without scoring any chicks. He looked at me and smiled, offering his hand.
“I’m Shawn.” He said. “Do I have the pleasure of buying you a drink?”
I smiled and declined his offer. “I’m leaving soon.” I paid and got up to leave but he wasn’t going to give up just yet.
“Hey come on, don’t be shy.”
“No, thanks. I’ve got to go.”
He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer towards him.
“Come on, we’re just getting started. Let me take you somewhere..”
“HEY, she said no!”
A figure came in between and freed my arm from Shawn’s grasp. I looked up at my saviour and recognised him as Max, one of my classmates from school. I seldom talked to him as he was always with his own social circle of friends and many were more than happy to flock to him as he was a high scorer and the class rep. He was from a batch after me but quickly gained the support and friendship of the entire class. He was a social guy and I didn’t particularly like him, but I was thankful he was here tonight.
“Back off,” he snarled at the hapless Shawn. A spanner appeared in his left hand and that was all it took to get the offending party up and running. Max turned to me.
“You alright?” he asked, and I could see the genuine concern in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Hey, thanks for just now.”
He shrugged it off. “Nah, no big deal.” He looked at me and shook his head. “It’s dangerous for a girl like you to be out here drinking so much alone. Come, let me send you home. You need some rest.”
I simply nodded and let him take me to his car.
Nestled snugly in the bucket seat of his Subaru WRX, it was amazing how fast I had felt my fear subside, how the feeling of security washed over me despite the scenery flashing by outside due to the brutal speed of the car. It was dark inside the car but I felt utterly safe as we headed towards my home, the orange glow of the overhead street lights casting a hypnotic rhythm over our faces as we sped down the central expressway, with the car producing a nice rumble as we headed along.
“You know where I stay?” I asked Max.
“Yeah,” ne nodded. “Pasir Ris St71, am I right?”
I was amazed.
“You mentioned it before during orientation,” he laughed, seeing the shocked look on my face.
“That was so long ago!”
“I’m also secretly stalking you.”
I couldn’t be sure whether he was joking or being serious. He laughed again.
“I’m kidding, I have a good memory.” He said, tapping his head. I smiled. “Can we not go home yet? I don’t want to go home just yet. Take me for a drive first please?”
He nodded. “Sure.”
Chapter Four
We stopped at Changi Beach carpark and I got out of the car, taking in the cool night breeze that left me feeling revitalized and rejuvenated. I closed my eyes and breathed out, letting the sound of the crashing of the waves on the shore fill me, coupled with the salty night air. One thing I loved about being near the sea was that it completely washed away all my troubles, taking me to another place. I felt at peace with myself whenever I was near the ocean.
“Everything alright?”
I turned around to see Max approach me. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”
He continued to look at me.
“So why were you there?” I asked, eager to change the topic.
“Just hanging around, wanted to get some late night coffee by myself. I stay at Dover, you see. How about yourself?”
“Me?” I shrugged. “Just getting some alone time.”
“You look troubled.” He pressed on. “If you think you’re comfortable with talking to me, I’m all ears. Sometimes, it’ll be better to let your troubles out instead of bottling them up inside you. I’m not a Psychologist yet, but I will do my best to help if you’d let me.”
I smiled at him. “It’s nothing, really. Just that I’m seeing everyone around me get attached and settling down, I feel quite left out. I mean, I’m not gorgeous or anything, but it feels like I’m not good enough for anyone. I don’t understand and I don’t like this feeling.”
“No Vivian,” he said. “You’re pretty and nothing or no one should tell you otherwise. Believe in yourself. You may just be one person to the world, but to someone out there, you may be their world.”
“Wow, thanks.” I laughed. “You have a girlfriend?”
He shook his head. “You?”
I raised my left arm and showed him the watch. “Still waiting,” I smiled. “You go get yourself one of these as well.”
He shrugged. “I don’t need a device to tell me who I should love.” He pointed to his chest. “I follow this.”
I smiled. Maybe I finally knew why so many people wanted to be around him. He was a sincere and friendly guy, and I found myself starting to enjoy his company.
“Shall we go for a walk?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “Let’s go for a walk.”
As we walked, we talked about class, our lecturers, our preparation for our Graduation Project and some personal background stuff, I felt better as the time went by. Truth to be told, I enjoyed his company. He came across to me as more mature than the rest of the classmates, he was a frank and practical guy and it was a trait I appreciated in guys. Throughout the night, he did not make a comment on my body, unlike the rest of the guys who thought tits and pussy were items for their pleasure and made crude jokes about them. As the night proceeded I felt the temperature drop and sneezed as a sea breeze blew by us. Max took off his jacket and wrapped it around me.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“Tell me if you’re still cold ok? We’ll head back to the car.” His voice was kind and reassuring, the kind that made you feel secure. The kind that promised you that he’d take care of everything, and do anything just to keep you safe. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest. He stood still as I took his hand and wrapped it around my waist.
“Am I the first girl you’ve hugged?” I asked him cheekily.
He nodded slowly. Then slowly, he brought his face closer to mine and gave me a small peck on my forehead.
I was sure as hell not ready for that. I could feel the world around me come to a standstill as my heart rate increased.
“What’s that for?” I asked. I didn’t know if I was shocked that he actually kissed me, or angry that he thought he could take advantage of this situation and get fresh with me.
“It’s nothing. I just wanted you to know that you deserved to be loved. I’m sorry if I startled you.”
I turned around to face him. There was a panicked look on his face, like he was scared that I would get angry. It was so amusing. I hadn’t seen someone like him before and perhaps, he was right. I didn’t need a device to tell me who I should or should not love.
“Max, the next time you want to do it, do it properly.”
“Huh?” he asked, puzzled.
I cupped his face in my hands and planted my lips against his. They were soft and warm, and I could taste some coffee on them but I liked it. I felt his hand around my waist as he pulled me closer to him and this made me kiss him even more fervently.
Then he broke it off. We stood there in each other’s arms, catching our breath in the cool night air.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his face blushing.
“No, I’m sorry too.” I said. I made a show of checking my phone for the time. “I think it’s time I went home. Shall we?”
“Yeah.” he nodded.
On the way back, it was quiet in the car but there were a million thoughts running through my head. I had just given my first kiss to a classmate. And I had liked it. And he seemed like such a nice guy. I sneaked a peek at the strap on my wrist. Nothing. I sighed. Maybe Max was right. Maybe I shouldn’t let a device dictate the sort of people that I should love.
We reached my house and I thanked Max for the night. Just as I got out of the car and closed the door, the front passenger window slid down and Max called out to me.
“Hey Vivian.”
“I turned around. “Yeah?”
“No I just wanted to say, it was an amazing night and I think I would like to get to know you better. “
I laughed. “Is that the best you’ve got?”
“I mean, I would like to ask you out for a date. Would you be willing?”
I smiled and nodded shyly. “Yeah, I think that would be nice.”
“Great!” he broke into a large, happy grin. “I’ll go arrange something. See you in school on Monday yeah?”
I smiled. “See ya.”
As I took the lift to the top floor, I could hear his car roaring away into the distance. I smiled to myself and thanked my lucky stars for tonight as I unlocked the door and stepped into my house.