Jack needed to fix one of the Jeeps, so Teren volunteered to help him, after making sure I’d be fine by myself for awhile. I assured him I would be, and gave him a lingering kiss before pushing him away to bond with his father. He seemed to really enjoy the guy time, and I wondered why he didn’t visit more often. In the four weeks we’d been together he hadn’t come out here once, and by the sound of Alanna’s greeting yesterday, his last visit had been quite some time before that.
Back inside the house and wondering what I should do, I ran into Alanna at the stairs. “Alann…Mom, is there anything I can help you with today? Teren’s fixing a Jeep…”
She smiled and for just the slightest second, her pale eyes were almost sad. The look was gone before I could be sure though. She wrapped her arm around mine and we started walking up the stairs. “No, dear. You’re a guest here, and we get everything done that needs to be.” She winked at me and grinned in a way that reminded me of her son. “Sometimes being really fast is very convenient.”
I grinned too, as I thought about how much fun it would be to zip around on overdrive. She probably got more things done around the ranch before noon, all by herself, than a team of handymen could get done in a day. Girl power indeed.
“Why don’t you spend some time relaxing by the pool? It’s quiet out there - you could read a book from the library?”
That actually sounded quite pleasant, but I still felt a little guilty. “Would you like to join me?”
She patted my arm again as we reached the top step. “I’m going to visit with Mom for awhile. I’ll join you later.” At the top of the stairs, she kissed my cheek lightly with her cool lips and walked towards the heavy door at the opposite end of the hall from ours. Her long, loose hair swished across her back and her thick jeans rustled slightly, but that was the only noise she made.
I changed into my bathing suit. Teren had packed my two skimpiest bikinis and for a second, I considered revoking his pack-master status…until I noticed that he’d also packed my favourite book, one I’d read so many times, the binding was falling apart, ‘Where the Red Fern Grows’. I shook my head and again marveled at his odd skill. Grabbing my dark-tinted, pink-framed sunglasses, I slabbed on a layer of SPF. Snatching a plush towel from the bathroom, I made my way down to the pool.
My skimpy little black string bikini barely kept in all my curves, but the other one he’d chosen to bring was red, and for some reason, wearing that colour made me feel a little like a walking all-you-can-eat buffet advertisement. I’m not sure what he was thinking packing those to meet his family. Well, actually, I was pretty sure I knew exactly what he was thinking (I looked damn good in a bikini), but it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to wear around potential in-laws.
The house was quiet, and I didn’t run into anyone else as I slipped through the massive living room and out the back door to the patio. I found a comfortable looking chair with full sun exposure and laid out on my stomach, stretching my legs out. If I only had a Mai Tai and a chiseled man, fanning me with a palm frond, I’d think I was in some exclusive resort on a tropical island. I cracked open my book and prepared myself for some classic childhood adventure, hunting wily racoons with lovable and unwaveringly loyal coonhound pups. I promised myself that this time, I wouldn’t cry, knowing all too well that, of course, I would. I did every time. It was an odd book for a girl to like, or so I’d been told, but I did…I loved it.
I was halfway through the novel when I flipped over to my back. I startled when I did.
“Thirsty?”
Alanna was standing at the foot of the chair, holding out a glass of lemonade. I hadn’t even heard her approach. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my suddenly racing heart, all too aware that she could probably hear every wet, thumping pulse. I grabbed the glass and muttered a thank you before I took a long draw.
“You’re welcome.” She looked over my body and I tried not to blush at the oddity of what felt like an examination. She smiled with just one corner of her mouth and then looked up to the sky, where the sun was well below the halfway point, between high noon and horizon. “The boys should be done soon.” She looked back to me and laughed - a tinkling sound like silver bells. “Those two do enjoy their free time. I think they may have given up on the Jeep and gone fishing.” She pointed back towards a valley between two large hills. “They’re over there.”
Hmmm…that was another super power I wouldn’t mind having. Knowing exactly where Teren was at all times. That could come in handy. Of course, it was a two way street, and that would be a little annoying if he always knew where I was too.
She shook her head, her black hair rippling. “Jack sure loves having him here. I think he gets a little overwhelmed sometimes, being around so many girls.” She laughed again and sat in a chair beside me.
I laughed too. “I bet. How long has Teren been away?”
She sighed. “He’s very good at calling us, but we haven’t seen him in over four months.”
My jaw dropped a little. I couldn’t imagine not seeing my mother and sister for that long. I got irritated at him for her, and it could be heard quite clearly in my voice. “Why has he been gone for so long? You don’t live that far away?” She looked at me and her pale eyes seemed to bore straight through me. I felt an uncontrollable shiver run down my spine and I held my breath. Breaking our intense eye contact, she looked at the river rock around her feet. “He has his reasons,” she said quietly.
Before I could respond to that, she patted my knee and smiled warmly at me. “I’ll let you get back to your book. That’s a good one, I always cry at the end.” She patted my knee one last time and stood. “Dinner’s at dark,” she said, as she turned to leave.
I wanted to protest that she didn’t have to go, that she could stay and chat with me, but I could only watch as she silently slinked back into the house.
Teren and Jack came back just as the sun was hitting the highest hills. Jack was beaming at his son, who was holding a couple large fish strung on a line. I wiped the inevitable tears from my cheeks as I closed my book and watched them finish walking up the path to the patio. Alanna flitted out from somewhere the second their feet hit the stones, and snatched the fish from Teren while giving him and then Jack a kiss on the cheek. She flitted away again and Jack laughed, watching her leave.
“Always in a rush, that one. The trout will probably be filleted and fried by the time we get in there.” He laughed again and shook his head at his wife.
Teren laughed once at his dad and then leaned over my chair and gave me a kiss. I smiled at him and noticed that his jeans were wet from the knees down. “Did you catch the fish with your hands?” I asked sarcastically.
He grinned and winked at me, and my mouth dropped a little. Not answering me, he flicked his eyes down my body. “I like your suit.”
I twisted my lips. “Yes. Interesting choice for your parents’ house.”
He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Only showing off your…assets.” He blurred away from me just as my arm was swinging around to smack him, and I caught only air instead. I frowned and he held his hand out to me. Rolling my eyes, I let him stand me up. “Just kidding,” he said, as he pulled me in for a tight embrace.
His mouth started distracting me as he brought his lips to mine. He was a fabulous kisser. I started getting swept away in the softness and stubble and wet warmth of it, when I felt his hand gently tug at one of the strings of my top.
“I will stake you where you stand if you pull that string out,” I muttered against his lips. Remembering where I was, I looked around the pool area, but sometime when we’d been kissing, Jack must have gone inside. I felt a teensy bit embarrassed about that.
Teren laughed softly at my comment. “I could sweep you upstairs, if you really aren’t happy with that suit.” His laugh turned a little husky and he started kissing me again, running his hand up my back to gently grasp my neck.
I started getting lost in him again, until I firmly remembered where I was, and what I had promised him at the beginning of this little journey. I playfully pushed him back from me. He was a little breathless, which made me grin satisfactorily. “Nope, you’re cut off. Remember?”
He gaped at me and then tried to bring his hands back to my body. “You weren’t serious about that, were you?”
I smacked his hands away and giggled. I hadn’t really been at the time, but with vampires that could hear every delightful groan - I was serious now. “Yep. No treats for you, vamp boy.” He frowned as I wrapped the plush bathroom towel around me and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go get ready for dinner. Your fish is probably nearly done.” He pouted, but let me lead him to the glass doors leading to the living room.
“We could go somewhere really far away. I run really fast,” he grumbled under his breath.
I shoved him through the door ahead of me. “Upstairs! Go change your wet clothes….and maybe take another shower.” He grinned at me over his shoulder and we made our way to the stairs.
Gran was walking down one set of stairs as we were walking up the other. She glanced over at us, sighed and looking awfully sad, looked away. I watched her glide down the stairs and wondered what vampires got sad about. Teren wasn’t watching her and didn’t seem to be too concerned over it. Once we were at the top and heading down the hallway, I asked him if she was alright.
Not looking at me, he said, “Yeah, she’ll be fine.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“I’m feeling a little grimy after the long day. I think I will take a shower.” He kissed me lightly on the cheek and then blurred into our room.
He left the bedroom door open for me, but I’d felt the proverbial one slam shut right in my face on the conversation I’d been trying to have with him. It stung as much as an actual door would have. Forcing calmness into my body, I decided that he just didn’t want to talk openly about her problems here, with super ears everywhere, but surely he would tell me later. A voice in the back of my head screamed that that didn’t excuse the rudeness, but I tried very hard to ignore that voice as I changed back into my jeans and shirt.
We came back down the stairs just as the final rays of sunlight were calling it quits for the evening. Teren led me to the kitchen, where all the women were talking around the table. They all stopped and looked over at us the second our feet entered the room.
Halina smiled at me eerily. “Good evening, Emma. Did you enjoy the…sunshine today?”
I swallowed and made myself smile at her. “Yes, very much.” I turned my head to Alanna. “Your home is very beautiful.”
She smiled warmly and took my hand from Teren’s. Her much cooler hand led me to the chair I’d used last night. “Have a seat. Everything is ready.” She pulled out the chair, plopped me into it, and tucked me under the table effortlessly. Teren sat beside me and rested his hand on my thigh. Jack entered from the kitchen, licking his fingers, and Alanna smacked him on the shoulder, making an affronted noise.
“Jacob Nathaniel Adams! You better not have been sampling that cake. That is dessert.” She smacked him again on the shoulder, as he grinned and kissed her cheek. I tried to make the mental image of a vampire baking a cake, but I just couldn’t quite get there.
“I would never…” He gave her a wounded look and then grinned again, “…but if I had, it was wonderful, dear.”
She shook her head with a soft smile on her lips and Teren chuckled beside me. Jack kissed her again on the cheek and she flitted into the kitchen. He took his seat at the head of the table and Imogen and Halina sat in their respective seats. Halina and Imogen talked in whispers while Imogen kept flicking glances at me. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Teren beside me was frowning and staring at the table in front of him…and I swear he was blushing slightly. Curious, I tried to listen harder. Focusing more on listening to their quiet conversation than being courteous, I was staring blatantly at them. I stopped the moment Halina met my gaze. She looked very displeased. I thought I heard a low growl escape her throat…but maybe I was just hearing things.
Alanna broke the tension in the room as she flitted in with the fresh fish the boys had caught earlier. She brought in large bowls of a cold pasta dish and a veggie-filled green salad. Everything looked cool and refreshing and wonderful. She set a glass of red wine in front of Jack and me and gave us glasses of water as well. She heaped up plates for the humans and then brought out the obligatory carafe of blood for the vamps in the room. I immediately dug into my food and ignored what Teren and the women were doing. In my head I kept repeating – ‘it’s just wine, really thick, red wine’. It was a little easier to stomach that way.
When Teren finished his…thick wine, I looked over at him. I watched him smile, retract his fangs and dig into his fish. And just like that, he was a normal, human guy, enjoying food he himself had caught, quite possibly with his own hands. I smiled at him and noticing me watching, he smiled back and squeezed the hand still on my thigh.
His grandmother sighed and I looked over to her. Her fangs were out and her glass was still half-full, but she was looking at Teren and me so wistfully, that I didn’t turn away from the sight of her. “The two of you remind me of my husband.” She sighed again. “He was the sweetest man.” I smiled at her recollection, until she continued. “And dumber than a box of rocks.”
I sputtered a bit on the sip of wine I’d just taken and Gran smiled warmly at my reaction and laughed - a beautiful, rhythmic sound. “He never figured out what I was, and he never asked for an explanation. He thought I never showed my age because I had good genes, and I never ate because I watched my girlish figure.” She sighed again, as her wistful look returned. “He never asked about the teeth. He never asked about the blood. Maybe he was smarter than I give him credit for. Maybe he just loved me for me, and it just never mattered to him.”
“What happened to him?” I asked hesitantly.
Imogen smiled sadly and Halina, in a show of affection that I had yet to see, placed her hand around her daughter’s shoulders. “He got real sick, not long before Teren was born. He didn’t make it…”
Imogen dabbed at her eyes with a napkin and my heart squeezed painfully for her. Suddenly, I wasn’t seeing a vampire with a red tongue and sharp fangs. I was seeing a human woman still in mourning over the loss of the man she had loved deeply. It was a heartbreaking realisation, that she would mourn him much longer than the average human would mourn their spouse…quite possibly forever, I wasn’t sure.
”I’m so sorry, Imogen… Gran.”
Collecting herself, she patted Alanna’s knee. “Well, he gave me my daughter…before it was too late.” She said the last part oddly, and gave Teren a look that definitely meant something. He shifted in his seat and it seemed like he was stifling a sigh.
“Teren…” she said in a nearly pleading voice.
Teren’s face got tense and he said something to her in a language I didn’t recognise. Whatever he was saying, sounded a little heated, and I could only gape at him, both for his tone to the sweet woman across from us, and for the fact that he was clearly fluent in another language.
She spoke back in the same language, her tone nearly matching his. Halina twisted her lips and nodded at whatever Imogen had said. Teren looked about to stand and shout something at the two of them, when Alanna silenced the room.
“Enough!” She looked at Imogen and Halina and then over to Teren. Jack continued to eat his fish, ignoring what was most definitely an argument. “Emma is a guest and you are all being rude.” She looked across the table at her husband. “Jack, how is the fish, dear?”
He smiled at his wife. “It’s perfect as always, love.”
They gazed at each other adoringly and feeling the tension slipping from the room (and wanting to change whatever the subject of the fight had been, which, I was getting the feeling was me), I asked Jack, “How long have the two of you been married?”
He tilted his graying head and looked up at the ceiling. “Well, it’s got to be over 26 years?” He looked back down at his wife quizzically.
She smiled. “27 years, 3 months, 22 days and 42 minutes.”
He laughed and shook his head before turning to me. “As you can see, they retain things a bit better than us humans…especially as we age.” He tapped his head and the entire table laughed, like this was really funny. I found myself laughing as well.
Still chuckling I asked, “So, no one questions the fact that she looks…” I didn’t quite know how to finish that question.
Alanna did. “Half his age?” She giggled like a woman half his age. “We have a couple other ranches across the Country. We stay about a decade in one, before moving to another and although we try and keep to ourselves, when we came here, it was quite the scandal – the old man with his twenty-something wife and her sisters, which is the easiest way to explain how we look. I think some may have thought he had multiple young wives.”
Again the entire table laughed and I shook my head at the thought. When Jack’s laughs settled down he added, “It’s pretty humorous since she is older than I am.”
Alanna made an affronted noise. “Only by 2 years…that’s not so much.”
Wondering at the oddity of her smiling at him so lovingly, with her fangs clearly distended as she sipped her glass of blood, I asked a question that I probably shouldn’t have. “It hasn’t been difficult for you to be married to a human. You’ve never bitten him?”
The entire room silenced, and I had the horrible feeling that I’d just asked something really, really inappropriate. Jack scratched his head and looked away, Teren fidgeted in his seat and Imogen grabbed her glass and took a long drink. Halina made no efforts to hide her glee – she laughed openly at me. Alanna shot her a look and she silenced.
“It’s alright to ask. You’re new to this. I’m assuming what you’re really asking, is if it’s difficult to not kill him?”
I felt heat rush into my face. “Yes. I was just wondering about the…thirst part of being a vampire.”
She smiled and laughed once. “Yes, we do seem to be portrayed as bloodthirsty savages who can barely control ourselves, don’t we?” All the vamps laughed at that, and a shiver went down my spine. She regarded me for a moment. “Let me put this in human terms for you. If you’re hungry and you go to a grocery store, would you lose all self control and start shoveling food into your mouth?”
I grimaced at the image. “No.”
She smiled. “It’s the same for us.” She looked over at him affectionately. “He may be astoundingly tasty, but I’m not about to end his life. I’d miss him too much.” Jack smiled warmly back at her and I focused on my plate, giving them a silent moment for the clear love fest that was going on, while at the same time, suppressing another shudder that wanted to run down my body.
Imogen sighed, and I looked up to find her watching Alanna and Jack. Meeting my gaze, she said, very quietly, “Do you not find Teren attractive, dear?”
I blinked and my mouth surely hit the table. Do I what?
“Gran,” Teren growled at her, and her youthful eyes regarded him before returning to mine.
“We know he’s trying, young one, but you seem to be rejecting him. We don’t mean to eavesdrop, but…he’s such a good looking boy, surely you feel some desire for him?”
I could not even speak. Words could not fully describe the horror flashing through my body. I had no idea why my love life was being brought up at the dinner table, of all places, by Teren’s grandmother, of all people. I didn’t even know where to begin feeling offended. There was not one thing about the situation that seemed appropriate. Teren seemed to agree, he spat something wicked sounding to her in another language. Alanna looked upset, but I couldn’t tell who she was upset with. Jack went back to studiously finishing his plate.
“If she is not willing to lie with him, she must be replaced,” Halina said, rather coldly. I turned to gape at her, and suddenly knew exactly where to begin feeling offended.
“It’s one weekend!” Teren switched back to English and sounded very exasperated as he glared at the both of them. “Back off!”
Halina narrowed her pale eyes at him; her wild hair seemed to bristle with her words. “One less weekend, Teren. One less, and you have wasted so much time already. Have you even been with her yet?”
I was ready to wake up from this absurd conversation. I was also nearly ready to storm huffily from the room. I think only sheer curiosity held me to my chair.
“What would you have me do?” Teren nearly yelled that at her and I flinched.
“Whatever it takes, boy!” she yelled back.
“No!” He yelled something else in the other language and she snapped something back.
I could barely keep my head from spinning right off my shoulders. Our enjoyable weekend at this dreamlike ranch with his, up until this point, pleasant family, was taking a turn for the worse. Everyone seemed to be angry that Teren and I weren’t being intimate here, but that was just nuts. No family, not even a vampiric one, got angry because their son wasn’t having sex under their roof. I must be missing what the argument was really about. I wanted to defend my actions, I just wasn’t quite sure what action I needed to defend. Maybe if they’d stop shouting in a language I didn’t understand.
Picking my jaw off the table, I focused my frustrations at Teren. “Stop yelling gibberish, and tell me what the hell is going on, since it’s clearly about me!” I yelled that and instantly felt bad for both yelling and swearing at Alanna’s table.
Everyone turned to stare at me, but Alanna was the one who responded. “They aren’t speaking gibberish, dear, they are speaking Russian, and Teren is doing that, quite rudely, so that you will not understand what he wants to keep from you.”
My jaw dropped again as Teren turned his face to her. “Mother…please.” His voice was quavering as he begged her. “You will ruin everything.”
Halina scoffed. “Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps she will not be so reluctant if she knows.”
“Knows what?” I whispered, feeling like a black hole of dread was opening up in my chest and was about to consume me whole.
Still staring pleadingly at his mother, he said in his quavering tone that tore my heart, “I wasn’t going to tell her this yet. It’s too soon.”
“Too soon…? You’re running out of time, Teren.” His grandmother’s face was a mix of sympathy and panic as she said that. “Tell her…”
He sighed and ran a hand down his face.
Silence fell on the room. Teren sat slumped in his chair, looking for all the world, like he was sorry he’d ever brought me here. Jack had stopped eating and was looking at his son sympathetically and maybe even a bit sadly. Halina and Imogen were flicking glances between Teren and me, and I got the feeling that if Teren didn’t tell me whatever was going on, they would. Alanna slowly stretched a hand out to her son and squeezed his affectionately.
Everyone in the room knew something. Everyone knew something that Teren didn’t want me to know, something that he was speaking Russian, of all things, to keep from me. The dread in my stomach turned to fire as these facts settled in my head.
“Tell me what?” My tone was a little heated, but something was being discussed around the table that I didn’t know anything about, and I didn’t like that feeling one tiny little bit. “Teren…tell me.”
He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. I was positive he wasn’t going to tell me. I was sure he was going to say, “It’s nothing,” and sweep it under the rug, so to speak. So he surprised me when he muttered, “Fine…but you’re not going to like it.” He hung his head to the floor and I couldn’t help but think he looked utterly defeated, like somehow, he’d just lost everything. A chill went down my spine.
“That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t hear it. It’s pretty obvious your family thinks it’s important…” I whispered it, knowing that they would almost all hear me.
Teren looked up at me then and there was nothing about his visage that looked like he was even remotely joking. Very flatly he said, “I will be dead within 6 months…….”
To Be Continued on Next Chapter….
CHAPTER FIVE
I think my heart stopped. It’s one of those moments where you know your reaction is critical, and it’s also one of those moments where you have absolutely no control over your reaction. If I’d had some semblance of control, I probably would not have reacted the way I did. No, I’m positive I would not have reacted the way I did. I would have been warm and caring and sympathetic. I would have held him and tearfully asked him what was happening to him. I would have encouraged him to sob in my arms and open up to me, and then his entire family and I would share a Norman Rockwell type group hug and we’d be a stronger unit for the revelation. That’s how I should have responded.
This is how I did…
“That’s not funny, Teren.” I stood from the table and tossed down my silverware with an angry clink on the china, probably chipping it, and stormed from the room.
I trounced up the stairs, clomping angrily up each one. I wasn’t sure why I was so angry. Was I angry at finding the greatest, most unique guy I’d ever met, just to have him be ripped away from me? Was I angry that he hadn’t told me immediately – like, “Hello, my name is Teren and I’m dying,” would have been a more suitable introduction than the one he’d given me? Or was I angry at the universe, for taking something that was too precious to leave?
Whatever the reason, I slammed our bedroom door shut so hard, that it rattled in the frame and a tiny sliver of wood fell to the carpet. I stared at the door and considered doing it again, when it suddenly opened.
Teren calmly entered the room, that must have been ten degrees warmer due to my rage, and softly shut the door behind him. I knew that was a pointless gesture, they could all hear. He may as well have left it open. Hell, we may as well of had this conversation in the dining room. I started pacing beside the bed and he watched me warily, like at any moment I might leap on him…which was a tempting thought.
I watched him as I paced. He looked fine. He looked tan and strong and healthy – downright vibrant. He was fast. He was smart. He was virile. He was…alive. He looked anything but sick. We were supposed to have a chance. He was supposed to be my shot – my one shot at real companionship. I grabbed a decorative pillow, that sort-of looked like a giant Tootsie Roll, and chucked it at him.
“You’re dying!”
He easily dodged the pillow, and the next one that I immediately chucked at him. “Just my body…I’ll be fine,” he said, as he dodged a third one.
“You’ll be fine!” I chucked a larger pillow at him, which also missed when he easily ducked. “Oh good! I was thrown off by the whole dying part!” I yelled and chucked another pillow, which he avoided. “Stop Dodging!” I yelled as loud as I possibly could.
He sighed and stopped moving, and I pelted him with the last of the pillows - three square ones with elaborately twisted tassels. They hit his chest with a satisfying thud, and dropped to the floor at his feet. “Can we talk about this now?” he asked softly.
“No! Throw them back!”
He furrowed his brow and cocked his head. “What?”
I hopped on top of the bed and paced up there, my blood still boiling. “The pillows, throw them back up here as fast as your inhuman ass can.”
I heard him exhale loudly but I could no longer see him, as he was just a streaking of movement. Pillows magically appeared around me and then he was standing still and waiting, with a frustrated expression on his attractive, doomed face.
I started chucking pillows again, and this time he let every single one hit him. “You son of a bitch!” A couple pillows hit his chest. “You couldn’t have told me this before we came here?” A couple pillows smacked his thighs. “You couldn’t have mentioned you had months to live?” A particularly good toss clipped his head and he exhaled loudly and gritted his teeth. “What happened to giving me a heads up?” The last pillow smacked him soundly and I sank onto the middle of the bed, my anger sapped with my last toss. I felt the tears starting and blinked several times.
He walked through the sea of gold and cream fabric, and crawled up to sit beside me. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you…it’s just a hard thing to bring up in casual conversation.”
I looked over at him as a stubborn tear dripped from my eye. “Hey, don’t care for me, I’m dying, would have worked,” I muttered sullenly.
“Come here.” He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me tight to him. I swallowed several times to calm my emotions and my tears, and rested a hand over his perfectly thumping heart. “It’s not as bad as you think, Emma,” he whispered.
“Death is bad,” I whispered back.
“I won’t be dead-dead. Only the human side is dying. I’ll still be vampire, just like Mom and Gran.”
“What?” I looked up at him, thoroughly confused.
He rubbed my shoulder as he comforted me, and the realisation that the dying man was comforting me and not vice-versa, wasn’t lost on me. My guilt only added to my kaleidoscopically twisting emotions - anger, grief, confusion, betrayal. You name it, I was probably feeling it.
“We don’t know why, but when we mixed breeds turn 25, the human side of us kind of…gives out. For all intents and purposes we die, and the vampiric side takes over. That’s what happened to Gran and Mom, and it’s happening to me. I won’t make it to 26.”
I searched his pale eyes and shook my head. “The human side dies…what does that mean? What will happen to you?”
With a soft smile on his lips, he gazed deep into my eyes and described his demise. “My heart will stop. I will no longer need to breathe. My skin will cool. I will no longer be able to eat regular food…and I’ll live solely on blood.”
“You’ll be a true vampire,” I whispered.
He shook his head. “No, I’ll just be more of one than I am now. I’ll be more like the others.”
My face paled as I connected what he’d said, with the memories I had of his meeting his family - the youthful appearances, the cool skin, only drinking blood. “Oh…Gran and your mother. That’s why they don’t age…they’re dead.”
He nodded. “Technically, yes, although it’s hard to think of them that way, isn’t it?”
I scrunched my eyebrows together as I absorbed that. He’d be dead and yet alive. He’d be cold, and his chest would be silent, and he’d consist solely on blood, just like a creature straight out of a horror movie…and I’d be dating him. Or would I? This was a lot for a girl to take in. I’d overlooked the fangs and the occasional chicken-draining, mainly because he’d seemed so human. If everything that made him like me was suddenly lost…could I live with that? Could I fall in love with that? Was it too late?
“Your family says you’re running out of time…to do what? What is it they want you to do before you die?”
He stood then, and started kicking pillows out of the way so he could pace beside the bed. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head, almost angrily. “Gran and Great-Gran just can’t keep their big mouths shut. I did not want to have this conversation this weekend,” he muttered as he walked. He glanced over at me on the bed, where I watched him with my brow furrowed. I had the sudden feeling that whatever he was about to tell me, it was somehow going to be worse than the “I’m dying” speech. He stopped in front of me, his hands still on his hips. “Please understand that I wasn’t going to mention this, because it doesn’t matter to me.”
My brow scrunched more. “Okay,” I said slowly.
He exhaled forcefully and ran a hand down his face. “They want a baby before I die.”
I shot up off the bed, which felt to me, like it was suddenly on fire. “They what?”
He held his hands out, as if to placate me. “They just want to keep the line alive and we can’t have children once the human side dies, so they’re putting a lot of pressure on me to…to…”
“Knock me up!” I yelled at him, and looked around for a pillow to chuck at him again. Unfortunately, he had kicked all the ones near me to the other side of the room. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been together a month, Teren – a month!”
I started pacing beside the bed again, roughly brushing past where he was standing. He stepped back and tried to grab me as I walked by. “I know, Emma. That’s why I wasn’t going to mention it.” I blocked his hands and kept pacing. “That’s what they want, not me.” He successfully grabbed my waist as I paced by him again, and pulled me into him. “Why do you think I never come out here? It was bad enough when I didn’t have a girlfriend, but since we’ve been together, God, they’ve been badgering me nonstop!”
I beat on his chest while he held me. “You may have mentioned this while you were spilling your fanged guts out to me! Did you not think your impending death, and your family wanting an heir, might be important enough to mention!” I smacked him good and then his hands grabbed my wrists. I jerked away from his grasp and started pacing again.
“You’re really mad, aren’t you?”
I stopped at the crest of my pacing track and glared back at him with my hands on my hips. “No. Why would I be mad? Your family only wants you to impregnate me with your vampire seed. Oh wait, no…that’s not even right. They want you to impregnate someone, not necessarily me, if I’m not…how did Halina put it? Oh yeah – willing!” He looked down guiltily and I continued pacing…and ranting. “And the whole dying part! Yes, we can’t forget that any day now, you’ll be the walking dead, so we better get your little buddies doing their job before it’s too late – no rush or anything, because you know, you’ll be dead!”
He stepped in front of where I was surely wearing a line in the plush carpet and grabbed my shoulders. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you any of this.”
I exhaled forcefully and resisted the urge to slug him. “Continually stressing how human you were to me was probably not the best way.”
He ran his hands down my arms and squatted to look me in the eye. “I am really sorry. It’s a hard thing to say all at once. I thought segments would be best.”
Very dryly, I said, “Anymore segments I should know about?” He hesitated, and I felt my stomach drop, but eventually he said no. “You might have mentioned all this before I started falling for you,” I said quietly.
He brought a hand to my cheek. “You’re falling for me?” His voice was soft and soothing, but nothing else about the situation was and I jerked away from his tender touch.
“I said starting…I’ll just have to see now.”
Slight amusement in his voice, he said, “Take your time. I don’t think I’m dying today.”
It was not in mine. “Teren, I know you wanted to stay until tomorrow night, but…I want to go home now.”
He sighed and looked at the floor. “Is this the deal breaker? Is this the part where I lose you? Where you finally run away screaming?”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and blinked back the sudden tears. “Well, I don’t think I’ll scream…but you not having a heartbeat is something to consider and I can’t do it here. I need my things, my bed - my comforts. I need to process this and I need to process it alone.”
He wrapped his arms around my body and I could feel that heartbeat quicken as my head pressed against his chest. He sighed again and kissed my hair and an overwhelming sadness drifted over me. Regardless of what we had been, and what I’d been willing to accept of his condition, things were different now. His condition was more severe than he’d led me to believe, and maybe his family was right about an heir. If I wouldn’t supply him one (and I couldn’t even think about that yet), maybe he should find another, before it’s too late. The very thought made me clutch him tighter though, and try as I might to hold it back, a tear did escape my eye.
After another comforting moment of silence, he pulled away and kissed my head again. “I’ll pack up our things.”
He started blurring around the room, getting everything back together, and suddenly feeling exhausted, I sat on the edge of the bed and watched what little of his streaking form that I could see. The memory of his strong heartbeat echoed in my ear, and I tried to wrap my mind around never hearing that again. It was such a foreign concept to me that I couldn’t even process it. I realised then, that Alanna and Imogen, and Halina too, I suppose, were all probably heartbeatless. That made my stomach a little nauseous. He stopped moving at the doorway and I noticed both bags full and heavy in his hands. He looked back at me and I had to blink back another tear at the look on his face.
“I’ll tell everyone we’re leaving. I’ll meet you in the car in a few minutes.”
I nodded, knowing full well that he basically just did tell everyone we were leaving. Well, I’m sure his family had some comments to make on this new development. I was probably being voted off the island at this very moment. I could just hear Halina – “She’s weak, Teren, replace her and move on, before it’s too late.” I thought maybe Imogen would grudgingly agree with her; whatever steps were necessary for her great-grandchild. Alanna…well, I wasn’t quite sure where she stood on the subject. Maybe she would defend me, maybe not. I was pretty sure Jack was just going to keep his head down and steer clear of the whole mess – smart man, that one.
Sighing, I stood and replaced the numerous decorative pillows back to the bed, hoping to make the room as perfect as we’d found it, and understanding a little more why we were placed in what I had only just now realised, was indeed the most romantic room in the house. Once the room was more or less back in order, I shut the light off and closed the door behind me, shutting out the good memories as well as the bad.
I trudged down the elaborate stairs and once at the bottom, I stared at the naked woman statue for several seconds. I dabbed away another stubborn tear and considered taking myself out to the car, disappearing from this house without even a goodbye. Sighing again, I turned towards the hallway that led to the dining room. I just couldn’t be so rude as to not say goodbye. They may all have had a secret agenda in being nice to me this weekend, but they had still been nice, and I could be the same.
I stopped midway down the hall when I heard voices coming from the dining room. I crept a little closer, making sure that I couldn’t be seen from the room. Once I was within earshot, I stopped and listened to what sounded like Teren having an argument with Imogen. I knew it was impolite to spy, but honestly, how often does a person get a chance to listen in on vampires discussing, well, anything.
“Teren, dear, I know you really like her but if she’s not willing, maybe you should…”
“What if I’m not willing? What if I don’t want this? Can’t I just be with her, and have you guys happy that I’m happy?”
“Yes, of course we want your happiness but, you are the last of us. If you don’t…we’ll lose the line, Teren.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing, Gran. Maybe we shouldn’t be continuing…this.”
“Please, sweetheart…please?”
“Gran…” Teren sighed heavily.
I silenced my breath as I pressed against the wall. I felt figures shifting in the room, but no one spoke for a few seconds and I considered coming out of hiding. I was just about to make a move, when Teren’s mother spoke up.
“Mom, I’d like to speak to my son…alone.” Silence followed her statement and then she spoke again. “I think you should stay here with us, Teren.”
“We’ve already been over this, Mom. I want to stay in San Francisco.”
“You know the risk you are taking. You should be here, where it’s safe.”
Teren started speaking in Russian, which riled me a bit. I was really going to have to learn that complicated sounding language.
“You know I care more about you than a child…although, I would like to be a grandmother…”
Teren cut her off with the fast, fluent, foreign speech.
“She could stay here with you, Son. There’s no need for you to be apart from her, but here is where you’ll be safe, both of you.”
More Russian, a little heated now.
“I know that is what you believe, but what if you’re wrong? The risk is too high.”
More Russian…quite a bit more, he seemed to be ranting.
“Of course I know it’s your life. I’m not trying to control you, dear. I’m trying to help. If we were of a different mindset, we’d just come collect you and you know that. But we’ve let you stay away…for now.” Alanna’s tone was starting to get as heated as her son’s. I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but I was sure it probably wasn’t good.
More insolent sounding foreign tongue. Interesting how arguing with your mom turns you into a 5 year old, no matter what language you’re speaking.
“Of course I know she’s listening, but I will not speak that language. She should hear this, Teren. She should understand.”
Teren switched back to English and my face heated. Of course they’d known I was here – super ears probably heard every thump of my impossible to quiet heart. “This is why I don’t visit more often – none of you ever listen to me!” And with that, I could hear him turn towards the hall where I was guiltily eavesdropping.
He grabbed my hand as he walked by me in the hall. “Come on, we’re leaving.”
He jerked me after him, and looking at the dining room entryway for a second before he literally dragged me away, I saw Alanna’s youthful face watch her son leave. Her eyes were so pained, and almost scared, that it shocked the inquisition about their argument straight from my head. As he ushered me from the house, I couldn’t even remember the bits of their disagreement that I had understood, I only remembered Alanna’s eyes.
He opened and closed the car door for me, like a perfect gentleman, but his eyes were tight and he looked stressed. Maybe coming up this weekend wasn’t the best plan; it had certainly changed things for me.
“Are you alright?” I asked quietly, as he did a 3-point turn and screeched down the bumpy drive.
“I’m fine, just an old disagreement, rearing its ugly head.”
“One you didn’t want me to hear…you were speaking Russian again.”
He looked over at me and I could see the debate in his eyes. Looking back to the road, he finally said, “This one is between my mom and me. It has nothing to do with you or a baby…I promise.” His tone was soft, but it was also firm. I knew I would get nothing from him if I pressed him about it. I’d also had my quota for the day on difficult conversations, so I let him drop it.
“Why do you speak Russian? Beautifully, I might add.”
He smiled and finally relaxed a bit, maybe reassured that I wasn’t going to press him. He pulled onto the main road and I let go of my death grip on the door handle, since the never-ending jarring bumps were done with.
“Great-Gran was born there, spent her first 10 human years there, so she speaks it and taught each of us.”
“Oh. Maybe you could teach me.”
He looked over to me with wistful eyes and I remembered, once again, how things had changed. Here I was, asking him to teach me a complicated foreign language, when I wasn’t even sure if we were still together. Silly me. It’s sort of amazing how the brain can block out events, if they’re bad enough. But as I watched his eyes drink me in, I remembered our fight, and I remembered why we probably would not make it as a couple. He was a marked man. Death was stalking him and surely if I stayed to close to him, it would stalk me too.
“I would love to teach you someday, Emma.”
His voice was quiet, like he understood the unlikeliness of that ever happening. His sad eyes turned back to the road and we made the rest of the 60 mile trip home in absolute silence.
He wanted to walk me to my door, but I made him stay in the car. That was hard enough, having him at my door would be a near impossible temptation. Because a small part of me wanted to beg him to stay, to come inside and sweep me upstairs, and make me forget everything that was between us. But the majority of me knew that was only a patch, and wouldn’t fix anything. It would only make it harder to separate, if that was what we were going to do.
Steeling myself, as we sat in his car in the driveway, I looked squarely at him and stated as professionally as I could, “Please don’t call or come over. I need time by myself.”
He nodded, and his sad eyes glassed over. That nearly broke my resolve. His next sentence, kind of did. “May I kiss you goodnight?” This time, I nodded.
That kiss, in the silence of his car, with the blue light from his dashboard splashed across our skin, will remain with me for the rest of my time on this earth. At the moment, it shattered my heart, but upon later reflection, it healed it as well. That one kiss made up my mind about him – it was that powerful. But not yet…that realisation came a few lonely nights later.
As the tender warmth of his lips pulled away from me in that car, I swear a piece of me was pulled away as well. I’ve never been one to feel dependant on someone else for my own happiness, but gazing at his pale blue eyes, with the just faint enough glow, that only I could see because only I believed, I knew that I’d never fully be complete in this life without him. But I had so much to think about, and I needed him gone to do it.
I whispered goodbye and grabbed my bag from his trunk. He watched me the entire way, his hands gripping the steering wheel, like he was willing himself to stay in the car. It wasn’t until I had my door closed behind me and I heard the electric hum of his car pulling away, that I realised that he never said goodbye to me.
I spent Sunday in bed. I spent Sunday in bed wallowing. I spent Sunday in bed sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow. I knew it was childish, and it wasn’t solving any of my problems, but I was allowing myself a day to grieve. I grieved over our ending relationship, over the could-be future that never would be, over the black-haired, blue-eyed children that we would never have, over the growing old together that we would never do, over the dinners we would never eat and the conversations we would never have. I cried over the spectacular sex that we’d never have again and of course, I replayed the last time we’d spent together over and over again, wishing stupidly, that I had known it would be the last time, so I could have committed every detail to memory.
Mostly though, I cried for Teren. It’s not every day that you hear that someone you care for only has months left to live. Granted, his death was not a permanent one, but it would drastically change things, as death has a tendency to do.
I was crying over the loss of his beautiful heartbeat, when I finally passed out from exhaustion. When I woke up, it was a dreary, rainy Monday morning, like the universe, in some small way, at least felt my pain.
Monday morning at work was like any other Monday morning at work. The people were tired and grumpy from their weekend being over. Clarice was particularly nasty to anyone who didn’t seem 100% on their game. And over the thin walls, I could hear whispered conversations of sordid tales, some I’m sure were entirely made up. It was so much like every other Monday that it shocked me. So much had happened to my world, that I forgot it had only been one weekend. It seemed like months should have passed, and everyone at work should be slightly different.
Tracey, approaching me, once Clarice grumpily left me with a stack of papers that urgently needed to be copied or faxed or both by noon, reminded me, yet again, how infinitesimal the time away had been. She regaled me with her date with Hot Ben which, of course, had become a weekend with Hot Ben. Her blue eyes sparkled while she told me over and over that he was “The One” and they were made for each other, and she could feel the lifelong connection already.
I’d heard this speech before. I’d heard this speech several times before, actually. I smiled in all the right places. I nodded, like I was really interested in all the right places. I laughed when she wanted me to and said “how sweet” when she wanted me to. I asked her about the sex, because I could tell she was dying to talk about it. I gave her the encouraging words for her “for certain this time” soul mate, in all the places she wanted to hear them.
Meanwhile, my head was calculating the possible flaws Hot Ben had, that Tracey would find irreconcilable in the next 3 months. Maybe he snored. Maybe he left the toilet seat up. Maybe he spit uncontrollably when he was outside. Maybe he called his mom too much. Maybe he’d lose his magic in bed. Maybe his toes were too long. There was always something with Tracey, something that spoiled the blissfulness of first attraction, and had her dumping the man cold. I was fairly certain that whatever flaws Tracey found in Hot Ben…they paled in comparison to the dilemma I was facing. At least her boyfriend had a pulse.
Finally, her blissful reminiscing ended and she seemed to notice my mood for the first time (even though I was trying very hard to be upbeat and normal). “You okay? How did the weekend with the In-laws-to-be go?” Her blue eyes narrowed in concern, and while not the same shade as Teren’s, they were close enough that my heart physically ached.
“We left Saturday,” I stated meekly.
She twisted her lips. “Oh, that bad huh? Were they real monsters or something?”
I inadvertently giggled, which in turn made me cry just slightly. I dabbed my eyes while she put a hand on my shoulder. “No, they were fine…I guess, but Teren and I kind of broke up.”
She immediately hugged me and I swallowed, so no more tears would flow. Really, tear-appaloosa all day yesterday was quite enough. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I thought he was such a good one too. Well, there’s always more in this town.” She pulled back and got a wide grin over a thought that seemed to leap into her mind suddenly; if she were a cartoon, a light bulb would have been suspended over her head. “Hey…Ben’s got this cousin who’s single. He’s really not as attractive as Ben, but he’s not bad. Want me to set up a double?”
I gave her a very pointed look. That was her fix to my heartache - a “not-bad” cousin?
“Too soon?” She backed off a bit and shook out her pale hair.
I patted my stack of papers on my desk. “I should get back to work.” She gave me another encouraging squeeze and then started to turn to leave, but I stopped her. “Trace?” I pointed to the calla lilies wilting on my desk. “Could you throw these out for me?”
“Sure, hun.” She grabbed them and took them away with her and I swallowed about 5 times to settle my emotions. I would not cry anymore today.
And technically I didn’t cry anymore that “day”. I did however, skip kick-boxing (Tracey said Hot Ben was subbing again, and the last thing I needed to see was them all dewy-eyed at each other), and curled myself into a blubbering fetal position on the couch. Since it was after five, I’m considering that “evening” and at least giving myself kudos for making it that long. Tomorrow was always another shot.
Tomorrow turned out to be my dwelling day. From the moment I woke up and put on my work pant-suit and a moderate blouse top (I didn’t feel like being ogled by men…well, maybe by one man, but he wasn’t currently an option), I dwelled. While I brushed out my hair and pinned half up neatly into a clip, I dwelled. When I ate my breakfast of cream cheese on a toasted blueberry bagel, I dwelled. As Clarice got after me for missing one tiny slip of paper in a finished report, Tracey regaled me with her after-hours kick-boxing session with Hot Ben, and the coffee pot in the break room leaked all over my conservative top, I dwelled.
I dwelled about the odds. What were the odds that I would run into a vampire-human mix? What were the odds that he’d ask me out and I’d accept a date with a perfect stranger? What were the odds that he’d expose himself to me and I’d sleep with him anyway? What were the odds that his family would adore me…as long as I bore an heir? What were the odds that my mostly human vampire, that I was falling head over heels for, would also be dying…? At least his body was dying anyway.
All of those odds seemed one in a million. I seriously considered buying a lottery ticket on my way home, but honestly, with my luck, I had better odds of being hit by a stray meteorite on the way home.
Tuesdays were my dinner with Mom and Ash. I considered baling, but I missed them, and I didn’t feel like repeating last night’s fetal position anytime soon. I walked into the café with my head down. I walked over to their table with my head down. I walked just up to the corner of their table with my head down and then I lifted my chin up and put on my most award-winning smile. Faking it…that was my plan to get through dinner this week.
Unfortunately, I forgot that Ashley could see right through my mediocre acting skills. Her scarred face immediately frowned upon seeing mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I automatically spat out, as I sat down beside her.
Now, there is something that happens to most women when asked that very simple question. Our answer, regardless of our true feelings, is almost always the same – nothing, but our bodies reactions are vastly different. If nothing is truly wrong, nothing happens. However, if something actually is wrong, the eyes betray the tongue and immediately start to water. My traitorous irises were now streaming like Niagara. At least I wasn’t in a fetal position.
Ashley immediately put her arms around me and held me close. “What happened?”
As is usually the case when you’ve dwelled in sorrow for awhile…I embellished. “Teren and I are through. We went to his parents place over the weekend and had a horrid time and we fought constantly and it’s just completely over.” The story I just spat out actually took about 5 minutes through all the embarrassing blubbering.
My sister calmly patted my back as I told my slight fable. My mom got right to the point. “You met his parents over the weekend? Why didn’t you mention you were doing that last week?”
I cried some more while Ashley interpreted my tears. “Mom, does that matter now? They’ve broken up.”
