I fell asleep waiting for Christina’s reply. and I woke up the next morning I was still feeling lousy.
I checked my voicemail and Christina left me a msg.
Christina’s Voicemail: I will page you after I finish looking for a job with the girls ok, I think we need to talk about this.
I just replied her a “ok” in her voicemail and nothing more was said.
I took out my bank book and sat on the bed, I actually had the thought of passing money to Christina asking her not to work. but I knew that that won’t work, the more I thought about it the deeper I sank. I start having wild guesses on whatever she did, and of course I questioned her reasoning behind keeping our relationship from the girls. (I guess my very own doings caused me to think likewise for her). Thinking of these matter ended with nothing but negative thoughts in my mind.
It was nearing the time to meet Joanne and I changed and dragged myself to Orchard, We meet at the station and I could see that Joanne was happy to see me, but I was in the worse of mood.
Joanne: Lawrence Sorry I didn’t know it was your birthday last week, never mind today I celebrate for you.
Me: It’s ok anyway it’s over already. (clearly I was not in the mood)
Joanne then brought me to Wisma, we took the escalator up a few levels and we walked around various branded boutiques, the one I remembered most clearly was Hunting world, their tee shirts were thinner than those you will find in the market but each cost more than $200. Joanne kept asking me to try on some clothes various times but I was never in the mood to shop. She insisted she wanted to get me something for a present but I declined telling her it’s ok, in most of the time I would just walk off and she will come chasing after me.
We went on to Taka, where she pulled me into a Japanese Restaurant, She ordered as I told her I am ok with anything. I can see that she felt that I was hostile but still maintained a smile on her face.
Joanne: Are you ok?
Me: Yah
Joanne: Is it because of me?
Me: No lah, Just got some personal things
Joanne: Tell me lah, I help you think.
I could no longer hold it in myself and I guess I needed someone to talk to , I told Joanne that I am in a relationship with someone and things are not going well.
Joanne seemed shock when I told her I had a GF, but however she did not probe farther.
Joanne: Don’t think so much, all will turn out ok.
I forced a smile and we continued our meal
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shinozuke
Is there really a need to guess whether a story is real or fiction? I mean, by now shouldn’t this be a self explanatory kinda thing? This is a fucking Internet forum. Anyone can claim it’s real. But who’s there to prove? Just take it with a pinch of salt and enjoy the stories instead of posting such comments.
And also, stop being so stereotypical. I’m fat, I’m ugly and I’m powerless. But I do have an ah lian gf before also.
Chill dudes, Sorry was home late last night will update today and let’s just put it in a frictional genre…. cheers
After the meal and walking in Taka with Joanne constantly asking if I like anything, My pager beeped, It was 5pm and I checked my voicemail Christina has finished her job hunting with the girls and asked me to meet her in Yio Chu Kang.
I told Joanne that I needed to leave and I think she knew that I was meeting the GF I told her about.
Joanne: It’s ok, I know she comes before me, Go on and Good luck.
I said good bye to Joanne and took a train down to Yio Chu Kang, It was a 45mins Journey and as I walked out of the station I saw her, Christina was standing beside the green railings. I walked towards her and I feel nervous, I did not know what she would talk about, would she be wanting to break up with me?
We went to a void deck opposite the station and sat down,
Christina: Lawrence are you ok?
Me: I don’t know, I just want to have more time with you.
Christina: I go work part time, I don’t work everyday right.
Me: I know but, I just hope that you can just.
Christina held me in her arms and spoke to me in a gentle tone.
Christina: Silly, I work Part time is because my dad just lost his job and I need to earn my pocket money for the time being once everything is normal again I will stop working I promise.
after listening to her reasons, I just nodded my head and she was happy that I understood her.
She went on and told me that she will be working in a fastfood joint in AMK and she will inform me of her roster.
it was getting late and I walked her home, we kissed and did nothing more, I returned home after I saw her go into the lift.
As I was walking towards home and I received a page, I returned home and listen to the voicemail.
Joanne’s voicemail: I hope everything went well, If you need someone to talk you can call me.
Did it went well? Seriously I don’t know, I went to bed as I had to wake up early due to the switch to morning session. I just laid on the bed, and I did not want to think of anything and I fell asleep soon after.
Sunday was uneventful as I spent the whole day at my grandparents
I woke up at 530 am the next morning and went to school to play basketball, by time it was assembly in the morning I was all sweaty, after proceeding to class I spend half the day sleeping in class, guess I am not used to the switch to the morning session and of course I was not in the mood to study.
After School ended I paged Christina and left her a voicemail asking where the girls and her were meeting, Moments later she left me a voicemail telling me to meet them at AMK.
I took the bus to AMK from my School and went to a fastfood joint to meetup with the girls, I saw the girl already in the fastfood Joint as I enter, Jasmine and Ann were there too and it was an awkward feeling seeing them after what that has happened.
I did not see Christina in the group, and I thought that she was late.
Me: Eh Sonia, Christina not here yet ah?
Sonia: She here already lor, she talking to the manager.
Me: Talking to the manager?
Sonia: yah, Christina going to work here mah.
Me: oh ok..
I stood there and I could think of nothing, I knew this time will come but I never expected it to be so soon. (Christina has got a Job!!!!)
After a while, Christina return to the group after speaking with the manager.
I was quiet that day and I did not know how to react, but I tried my best to behave as I would normally, but there was this pain in me which I could not explain.
We ended the day after walking around AMK and spending some time at the bowling alley.
As we parted our ways, I walked towards the MRT station and stood on the platform waiting for the train to arrive.
There was a tuck on my sleeve and a soft voice was heard: Can we talk?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mafan
sob sob today no update
Sorry guys please bear with me, am having a packed week will update more when possible
I turned around and saw Ann, Jasmine was standing beside her.
Ann: You don’t seem happy today, Is it because of us?
Me: No lah not because of you lah, (I forced a smile to Ann)
Ann: If you don’t like it, we can leave the group.
Me: I have already said it’s not about you girls!
I was upset and I raised my voice at Ann, I was not frustrated over her insistence over their presences in the group, however I was vent my anger at her. Ann was tearing and I can see the redness in her eyes.
Jasmine: He already say not because of us…
Before Jasmine can finish her sentence, Ann started crying and ran off. Jasmine gave chase and I followed too after some hesitation, I followed them to a park behind the MRT and finally she stopped running and Jasmine manage to catch up with her at a void deck at the end of a nearby park.
I was almost out of breath when I Reach them, And seriously these girls can run.
Me: Please don’t run already, (I was panting Like a dog) It is really not due to you girls and sorry I shouted I am vexed and I took it out on you Ann.
Ann had already stopped crying when we caught up with her, Jasmine brought her to a seat at the void deck, Jasmine spoke to her and I was holding on to my waist regulating my breath after the run.
After a few mins, Jasmine Walked towards am and said that Ann wanted to talk to me.
I went over and sat beside Ann, and Jasmine move beside of Ann.
Ann: Jasmine , Can I have speak to Lawrence alone? Please.
Jasmine gave a whatever express and walked a distance away from us.
Ann: Lawrence can you don’t hate us?
Me: Ann I don’t hate you at all, If I hate you do you think I will come running after you?
Ann: but you seem so unhappy.
Me: I am just stressed over some matters, and seriously nothing to do with you girls.
Ann: You sure?
Me: Yes I am sure and I am really sorry I shouted at you ok?
Ann start to smile a little after hearing my words and she called Jasmine over.
Ann: Jasmine, Lawrence was not upset over us.
Jasmine: that’s what I told you Ann..
Me: Please Ann, don’t run like this next time.
Jasmine: You weak lah you..
I turn my head and looked at Jasmine.
Me: Eh I think you still owe me a voicemail hor,
That question made Jasmine quiet, I did not know why but I do enjoy these times where I manage to keep her under control.
Me: Anyway you can take your time as I might need some time to think even if you gave me a reply.
Jasmine blushed and I had a smirk on my face.
I told the girls that it time for us to head back to the station and we walked back through the park.
I went home after I said my goodbyes to the girls on the train.
That evening will be one of the worst in my life, I paged Christina after taking my bath and she returned my call. She broke the news to me that she will be working starting the next day, as they would require her to be trained during the weekdays in preparation for the weekend. She told me her roster was to be from 2-8pm daily, which I just listened without any response.
To me, it was bad news and it means that I was not able to meet her for the whole week. disappointment, Dejected, feeling of loss. (you name it I had it)
Christina then went on asking me to meetup with the girls if I was bored and if not I could make use of the time to focus more on my studies.
Clearly my mind was all Christina during that time and studies may be the last thing on my mind.
we ended our chat early that night as I did not feel like talking.
The next morning School was normal for me. Basketball in the morning, sleeping in class, and occasionally listening to my boring teacher’s lessons.
I paged Felicia after school asking about where we will be meeting and she left me a voicemail saying that the Penny, Sonia and her were going to the fastfood joint to give Christina morale support.
I left school and took a bus to AMK to join them.
After arriving at the fastfood joint I joined the girls at a seat near the cashiering area where Christina was working. Christina was in the uniform and she was wearing pants, I looked on as she was at the counter with another guy. the guy seem to be teaching her on how to operate the cashier system and how to process orders ETC. they exchange laughs at times and Christina seemed happy but I was not.
I went to purchase a drink at Christina’s Counter and she was giving me an awkward look. Christina took my order and gave me my drink, I could hear the guy praising her as a fast learner but I did not appreciate any of it, I took my drink and went back to the seat. I was quiet that day too. I sat there and observed everything that Christina and the guy was doing at the cashier.
Christina did come over once in a while and talked to us for brief moments, But she was mainly talking to the girls on how much she learnt and the job was not really that tiring.
We stayed till ard 4pm, the girls decided to head home and we left. I took the train home and was thinking about Christina at the counter. (Yes, insecurity has started to consume me)
At home, I was really edgy, I really wish to see Christina, No, I needed to see Christina. I did not know why I just cannot remove the image of Christina at the counter with another guy. I looked at the time and remembered that she told me that she was working till 8pm that day.
I paged her telling her that I was picking her up from work, and told my parents that I have forgotten to buy something which I needed for school the next day. I left home at 7pm and arrived at Christina’s workplace at 730pm.
I stood outside Christina’s workplace and she was surprised to see me, I guess she did not have time to check her pager yet.
it was around 805pm while Christina came out of the Fastfood joint, and It was a mixed feeling for me, I was happy to see her but however I just seemed different today.
Christina: Eh why you here huh?
Me: I leave you a voicemail, I came to pick u up from work lor.
Christina: So sweet ah, missed me huh.
Me: yah lor, I want to see you.
We decided to walk back to Christina’s home and on the way she started telling me about her job and I asked her about the guy.
Me: This afternoon, I see a guy with you at the counter?
Christina: Oh that’s Alan, he is my senior and he is teaching me.
She went on and stated how nice Alan was, he was patient and she was lucky for her to meet ppl like Alan whom is willing to teach her things at her first job. We walked she talked about nothing else but her job and Alan, telling me details on mistakes she committed that day and how Alan explained to her and laughed at her at times.
It wasn’t helping me, and I could not accept that Christina was talking to me about Alan all the way at that time.
Me: Eh enough about Alan K!
There was silence, Christina was shocked as this was the first time I shouted at her.
We walked to her block and stopped at the Lift lobby, normally it was just a good bye kiss and we will return to our respective homes, but today it was different. Christina told me she was going up and went into the lift.
I kicked at a nearby rubbish bin and I was very upset, I did not go home and I felt the pain, a pain that I wanted to go away.
I paged Felicia, leaving her a voicemail.
My voicemail to Felicia: Where are you now?
I sat at the Christina’s void deck, not knowing what to do, I blamed myself for shouting at her. I was stupid, really dumb.
Moments later my pager beeped, I listen to the voicemail at the nearby phone that I paged Felicia, It was Christina and she left me a voicemail.
Christina: What’s wrong, Are you ok?
I replied her leaving her a voicemail that I am ok and I am still under her block.
Minutes later, she emerged from the lift. As Christina walked towards me my pager beeped, I figured it was Felicia and I could care less seeing Christina walking towards me.
Christina: Eh why never go home?
Me: Sorry… I yelled at you.
Christina: Are you ok?
Me: it’s just I am not used to it, seeing you with another guy laughing. you seem so happy.
Christina: So you jealous huh??
Me: Yes, but I am sorry
It was ironic but I see Christina smiling after she heard my statement.
Christina: Actually I am happy that you are jealous, and hor you jealous very cute leh.
I don’t know why but Christina’s words calmed me down.
She hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek.
Christina: Trust me ok?
I nodded as I felt comfort from her again.
Christina: ok lah, go home already. I also need to go back.
We broke our hug and we walk towards the lift again.
Christina: Don’t anyhow think ok.
Me: Orh…..
I walked off after seeing Christina board the lift, went to the station and I looked at my pager it was Felicia’s number, I called her.
Felicia: Eh Idiot you look for me ah
Me: no lah, Just now bored want to find ppl to talk only.
Felicia: ok you want to talk what.
Me: Nothing lor, eh I now outside I call you when I get home.
Felicia: Orh….
I hung up and boarded the train, Christina’s words were in my mind. I need to trust her and I should not anyhow think. (it’s so simple in words but I did not know it was so hard to achieve especially at that age)
I reached home a little over 11pm and my parents were asleep.
I called Felicia as I promised and we had a chat for 20 mins before I told her I need to go to bed.
After speaking to Felicia, I felt guilty. I knew I was about to vent my frustration on her again. what I did was comparable to what Joanne did to me and maybe worse.
I fell asleep that night think about what a asshole(AKA Jiaolang) I was, but as much as I hated myself for doing so but I guess I never wanted to end this relationship with Felicia.
I had some free time on hand and I spoke more to Joanne, Joanne has actually told me to have faith in my relationship, Which made me felt better. I started to accept the fact that Alan was just a colleague and nothing more.
As Christina was working for the week, things became different. the next few days which I met the girls after school some what proved to me that Christina was the pillar of the group.
Penny no longer hung out with us and joined another group, she tried to convince Sonia to join her which Sonia told us. I too started to meet new ppl while loitering with the girls, some of them or I will say most of them were interested in getting to know the girls, while others who interested to get me to join their side. Amongst them was Bobby,
Bobby to me was not you average Ah Beng, (gangster) he appears to be very nice and most importantly he does not ask me stupid questions like who or where I under, He told me that he was part of the Kong Si Teng(Management) of the gang and he is taking over a new place. He somewhat saw potential in me, (which I don’t even see myself) and left me a number for me to call him if I decided to join him.
And on Friday the 4th day since Christina started working, Only it was down to Felicia and me that met in Junction 8 as Jasmine and Ann were busy had to be in school for some celebration.
Felicia: Oei idiot, only you and me, how ah?
Me: Good Lah, You happy mah, Like Pak tor (Dating)
Felicia pinch me in the arm, damn that was painful.
Me: Pain Pain Pain…..
Felicia: Today cannot.
Me: Cannot Pak tor? why you got BF already huh
Felicia: Cannot that one lah, My Aunt come (menses)
Me: okok, I know liaoz.
Felicia: Ya lah, wait you see blood you scared.
Me: Eh, you think our group can still hold or not?
Felicia: normal Lah, like Penny you see lor. Christina not here she know if thing happen Ah Boy won’t help us one. That is why she find other group to join.
Me: Yah hor.
Felicia: We all was one group because Christina don’t want us to join gang, She also never join but Ah boy will help if she ask. Now I think Penny go other Group sure join one, Die la.
Me: Die Lah??? I don’t know you so close to Penny.
Felicia: No Lah, I worried for Sonia, That girl blur blur one wait follow Penny.
I thought of what Felicia said and I realized she was more matured then I thought she was, at least on this matter.
We ended our day after loitering in Junction 8, and I too began worrying about Sonia.
I spoke to Christina that night about this matter, I could see her concerns but all she told me was if they decide to leave the group she cannot hold them back.