Life of a girl you never care about


    Chapter #11

    It was like an addiction.

    Although alcohol and clubbing brought me much misery, I persisted deeper into it, going from clubbing once every week, to clubbing every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. The only times I took break was when I had no khakis or when I fell sick from drinking too much. I did not know what else to do to feel happy, it seemed like the only way out. The ‘high’ I got after drinking a certain amount of alcohol felt good and I indulged in it.

    I always felt like I did not belong to anywhere. I did not belong to my family, did not belong to school, and did not even have real friends to begin with.

    I felt like I did not belong to my family because I was often left out of family outings. I would go onto Facebook and stalk my sisters and gawk jealously at their pictures. Why was I outcasted even with my own fucking family? I thought family is supposed to love you and stay by you and be there for you? Mine did not, and I was bitter for a long long time..

    I felt like I did not belong to school because I was shunned throughout my whole school life. I was that girl who had to go to recess alone, I was that girl who had to hide in toilet throughout the whole recess because I was too afraid to be seen as a loner, I was that girl who hated group work because nobody would want to team with me.

    Because of my complicated school history, I have almost zero real friends and all the friends whom I knew were from clubbing. The only times we hung out were during clubbing. Of course it felt good to finally have friends, so I would always, always accept their invitation for fear of them dropping me if I did not. I did not realise then that they were actually not real friends, I was too blinded with the ecstasy of finally having ‘friends’.

    Post #41
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    Chapter #12

    It was another night at St James’ Power Station.

    I had so many friends there and it felt good to know tons of people in the club. I did not expect myself to get dead drunk that night and did not expect such an incident to happen……..

    I had many friends working as promoters there and they were asking me to drink neat from the bottle. I obliged for 20 seconds and after 30 minutes, I crumbled. I could feel myself lying on the toilet floor with a few female strangers rushing to help me out. Then I heard some noises, but I had absolutely zero energy to move. It was as if I was paralysed but could hear all the commotion going on.

    Finally I was at the entrance, with my girlfriend ranting and cursing about how much of a burden I was and that the night was too early for her to go home now. I had a male acquaintance pleading and begging for my girlfriend to allow him to send me home. He promised he would not take advantage of me and would send me home safely, and she relented.

    Once in the cab, I vaguely heard him calling out a foreign address (definitely not mine) and blacked out.

    Post #42
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    Chapter #13

    Hello all.

    Thank you for all your kind responses, advises, or comments. I am overwhelmed by the kind of support I could get in a sex forum. :')

    To clarify things a little. I have stopped getting myself dead drunk and things are turning for the better now.

    I have learnt to have self-respect.

    I say I am still stuck in the dark abyss because of the emotional scar that was left behind. I have extreme trust issues.

    I never told anyone the full truth about this at all, I never found the courage. I didn’t want to be judged by anyone.

    Writing this story is painful. Re-reading the story still made me cry.

    It is true that I have self-esteem issues. Up till today, I always think I deserve all that happen.

    I will be rejecting all the requests about asking me out and I hope you guys can understand.

    I am 21.

    Post #44
    13 comments
    Chapter #14

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by

    ADT007

    Where’s the part where you threesome with nick and David ? Can’t wait to read

    I did not have threesome with them.

    Post #58
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    Chapter #15

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by

    TheGreatOne

    Maybe partial reasons about David leaving you after a while could be because you were not as attractive as you perceived yourself to be?

    Did I say I’m very attractive? -_-

    Post #59
    7 comments
    Chapter #16

    I woke up on his bed with him trying to put his dick into my vagina. After a few tugs it was in. It felt good getting filled up because his rod was thick and long.

    In my drunken state, I screamed for him to go deeper. But he pulled out after a while and cried, saying he felt guilty because he was attached..

    I told him he was the third guy who fucked me after clubbing but he did not believe me. “God, he must think that I’m a slut who fucks around.” Confused and drunk, I fell asleep beside him. I hugged him throughout the night naked.

    I woke up the next day and acted like I did not remember anything. He sent me to the door shortly after, not even bothering to head downstairs to flag a cab with me. His sister looked at me disapprovingly, as if reaffirming my thoughts of being thought of as a slut.

    I felt so cheap and disgusted with myself and went home.

    Post #67
    1 comments
    Chapter #17

    Life sucks. Just got dumped again.. But we never had sex. So lost and confused now. I don’t think anyone will ever love me.

    Post #69
    4 comments
    Chapter #18

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by

    Dark Side

    Sis.

    If u had sex with him, u might not have been dumped … today.

    But how do u know if he will end up following David’s footsteps,

    dumping u after one month?

    Many women use sex for love,

    but many men r the other way round.

    Different objectives.

    Do take care of yrself sis.

    Like what others said,

    if u don’t love yrself first,

    it’s very hard for others to love u.

    I tried to love myself too much that I became selfish. My friend told me I should love to expect love in return.

    Post #74
    7 comments
    Chapter #19

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by

    Dark Side

    Sis. Everyone is selfish. Or let me not generalise.

    91.356% of the people in this world are selfish, including me.

    So welcome to the club.

    So yr friend is trying to tell u to be more selfish.

    He or she assumes that you are not selfish enough.

    But you on the other hand, based on yr first statement,

    admitted that u were selfish in the first place.

    So my questions to u sis:

    1. Do u think u r selfish or do u think u are not selfish?

    2. Do u wish to follow the 91.356% selfish people,

    or do u choose to give without expectation of return?

    1. When sleeping with those few guys u already mentioned,

    do u see these acts as selfish or selfless?

    In other words, do u think u gave more than u gained,

    or do u think u gained more than u gave?

    1. Although most people are selfish,

    most will admit that it will be good to be a bit more selfless at times.

    However, do u really think that by giving yourself to these guys in such a manner, it automatically qualifies yr actions as noble, altruistic behaviour?

    That was my past, I’ve stopped behaving this way…..

    Post #82
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