Can I explain why I fucked a prostitute at 3am in the morning last night?
Of course I can. Yet at the end of a day, what is there to explain?
Nobody is born to want to fuck a prostitute. If you’re happily married or attached, you happily fuck your wife or girlfriend(s) for free. So why would you fucking want to pay money for something that is so sacred and enjoyable? Like what my cheongster friend Desmond said: Sex should be free.
Conversely, nobody is born to want to be a prostitute. If you’re a girl and you’re born pretty and rich and smart, you should be earning millions from some other nobler profession. Even if you’re a horny girl, that still doesn’t mean you should be a prostitute. You can screw that cute hunk you meet everyday in the office for free if you seduce him hard enough or even pay a few well-endowed gigilos to screw u with their 9 inch cocks. But you don’t want to be a prostitute cos it’s degrading. Even if you were a social escort, it’s just another name for a high class prostitute, which is probably just as degrading. Imagine subjecting yourself to lonely horny guys out there who have money to spend but with personalities so damaged they are unable to engage a functional healthy relationship with someone out there, hence having no choice but to pay you to fuck you. Do you want a life like that?
Before I go on, some facts about Desmond.
Like I said, he is my cheongster friend. He is also a chee bye kia.
This fucker keep telling me sex should be free. But you cheong Flying Panda dirty KTV at Geylang Lorong 69 and get 4 or 5 girls to sit with you and then run away without giving tips, reason you give: sex should be free???
Bro, your fucking brain ok or not? Make the China girls chase you from Lorong 69 to Lorong 99. Behave until like that, you song boh? Got money cheong, no money to pay girl tips ah? Then stay at home next time, come out cheong for fuck? And if u feel horny, knock on your neighbour door, and when the door open, fuck anything that move behind the door. If the thing that move happen to be a dog and u make the dog bleed to death, then too bad for you. Even badder for the dog.
Why do I have this kind of chee bye kia as a friend? I also dunno. Maybe my brain also something wrong. Cos I was there with him when he run away from the China girls. See the way he run, like Carl Lewis 100 metre sprint like that. Za bor wear skirt wear high heel, how to catch up with him? Even KTV management cannot do anything because the girls working there are also all illegal. As long as you pay the bill for the room and bottle, management cannot touch you. The girls are their own problem.
But why do I like cheonging with this chee bye kia? That is the thing. My friend Desmond is a player, the life and soul of the party. Cheonging with this guy will never ever be boring. Desmond is not particularly handsome or tall, only average boy-next-door look. But the fucker is a talker. I don’t know why he is not the top salesman in his company yet. You see the way he sian the girls, aiyo. Touch the breast, French kiss, feel under the panties, everything he can do. The only thing I never witness yet is the live-sex performance he promise me inside Flying Panda KTV @Lorong 69 but the chee bye kia never fulfil his promise to me yet. It’s first class entertainment I tell you. My friend Desmond has raised the standard of KTV girl-sianning to the highest level of ART FORM already. I kowtow to you, horny master!
Enough said for the time being about Desmond, the great grandson of a cheebye kia. More abt him later.
Some facts about me first. My name is Jayson, I am a 44-year-old Chinese Singaporean and I am the cheebye kia who likes to frequent Flying Panda dirty KTV @ Lorong 69 with Desmond. I’m like his sidekick, the side dish or appetiser u consume before taking main course. Desmond is the lead actor of the X-rated events occurring inside our small cosy clean KTV room, while I am the one making observations, comments and writing reviews here. You also can see me sometimes whooping out my iPhone to record Desmond’s sexcapades if I deem some of the flicks sexciting enough so that I can masturbate myself to sleep while watching them later at night.
What else do I do other than messing around with this fucker Desmond? Well, truth be told, nothing much. It is true that I am a proud degree holder, hailing from the highly-esteemed Nanyang Technological University - graduating with a superior GPA from the newly established faculty of Media Arts & Aesthetic Engineering (MAAAE / NTU) - but that was decades ago already. No point bragging, but I feel I still need to at least let you know that flicker of light which existed in my life before I succumbed completely to the darkness. I, too, like you, was once a good person before the light was snuffed out.
Fast forward 20 years later …
Currently I hold a dead-end job at Siglap Community Centre doing some high-level paperwork, and the only good thing abt my job is the location since it is very near to those dirty Joo Chiat joints, which I love too. If I manage to knock off from work on time or even earlier, I can still make it for the happy hour price, and get some early cheap fun with the Thai and Viet babes there. Without Desmond, of course, unless I stay later till after happy hour and wait for him to rush over to join me, which he sometimes does.
I consider myself pretty much advanced in years and am, by right, supposed to have climbed up the corporate ladder, if not 3 quarters up the ceiling, then at least half. That, sad to say, has not happened. I’m more like a quarter from below. My boss is a 26-year-old bitch who barks at me, and I follow her orders with a whimper, and sometimes if she’s unhappy, then without a whimper. I’m not sure who is the dog here, since she barks and I whimper. Probably both. Some dogs, after all, do better than others. Whenever I’m in a bad mood after she bullies me, I make my way to Geylang Lorong 99 and bang my fave prostitute extra hard until she screams, and I imagine she’s my boss crying in pain. I get some perverse solace from that.
Over the years, I’ve held on and am still trying to hold on. Give me that much respect, will you? It’s obvious I never overperformed, but neither did I underperform too much, otherwise I would have been sacked long ago. But it is true that most of my colleagues did better than me for their appraisals over the years so they naturally got promoted faster than me. I used to have a boss who was older than me 8 years ago, but I guess I got complacent and ended up staying stagnant somehow.
The working world is such. I’m not sure whether I gave up trying to prove myself first, thus resulting in my falling upon evil days, or whether I fell upon evil days first, thus resulting in me not giving a fuck about proving myself anymore. Either way, what does it matter? It’s been so long ago already and there seems absolutely no point in trying to figure out which came first. As long as you come, it doesn’t matter which comes first.
Chicken or egg, you ask? I say: Fuck the chicken and fertilise the egg.
So I guess now u know why I fucked my fave prostitute @ 3am last night. Or rather, a few nights ago. I banged her hard and got her screaming, all the while imagining that she was my boss and I was punishing her and she was crying out in pain and begging me for mercy.
A bit of intro. My fave prostitute’s name is Tao Mei, a 25-year-old PRC who used to work at this illegal massage joint called Daisuki Sakura Omangko (DSO) many years ago. Those were the golden years when PRC girls engaged in your sexual fantasy world by dressing up in all sorts of Japanese-themed cosplay, like nurse, schoolgirl, OL, cheongsam, anything you like. Singapore Police was really efficient during those days too. First place got raided after a few months, closed down, took some time to re-locate elsewhere nearby, then got raided again and closed down again for some time. Third location was somewhere in Tuas. During those days, there was no Joo Koon MRT, so you can sometimes see horny guys queuing for the feeder bus service at Boon Lay interchange to go Tuas. You can imagine how troublesome it was for us horny guys those days. Tamade.
But in the end, fucking Singapore Police still manage to find all the way there and raid it! Na Bei Chau Chee Bye! I have never doubted that this was definitely an insider job, done by a double-headed snake who is undercover plainclothes police but yet at the same time also manage to pose as a customer. So after enjoying the services a few times, this snake gave away the names and locations of those involved to his police boss. This fucker think he is who?! Leong Kar Wai, Andy Lau, Singapore version of Wu Jian Dao ah? Tamade! May that chee bye kia burn in hell!
So after the 3rd location finally closed down in 2013, my baobei Tao Mei got no choice but to re-locate to Geylang Lorong 99, one of the legal houses there. But chee bye, no more uniform or fantasy or cosplay. Price also reduce from SGD $170 to SGD $120. But the pimp for the legal house is still the same guy as the illegal Tuas one!
Chee bye la, the pimp tell me. If u can’t beat them, join them. The police even tell me, hallo, you run here, run there, for what? Many of us police also like to enjoy ourself at your illegal joints. Why fight against us? Why not turn legal? I will reduce your jail sentence from 2 years to 2 months. In fact, I will even introduce my fellow police khaki to your legal house. Sui boh? Give and take a bit la? Chee bye! How to say no?
I tell the pimp: Yes bro I understand yr situation.
Ren Zai Jiang Hu Shen Bu You Ji.
(Man in Dog-eat-Dog World, Hard to be Self-Made.)
But do you know how far the standard of your girls’ services
has fallen? I ask him.
Even my baobei Tao Mei last time @ illegal DSO 5 years ago,
damm playful. When dress up as schoolgirl, can tease me:
Oh Qing Ai De Lao Shi, please spank me for being such a naughty girl.
I cannot help it, I am just so horny. Since born, already like that.
Teach me a good lesson that I will never forget! Ahh … Ahh … Ahhh …
When dress up as nurse, can say:
Wah, why your ‘Lao Er’ become more and more swollen?
I think it has a fever! Don’t worry!
Let ‘Mee See’ take care of it.
But now they all wear normal clothes.
X factor no longer there.
Girls’ attitude nowadays also has gone to the dogs.
Even my Tao Mei, sometimes I see her, like a bit unhappy.
Dunno whether she playing my cock or playing piano.
Her mind just seems to be somewhere else.
5 years ago when I first met her,
when she just turned 20 years old, AIYO!
She was really wild then, horny all the time!
Listen. I really don’t mind paying the original SGD $170.
Just bring back the good old days, ok.
I’m sure many customers will agree with me.
Hell, I’ll even pay SGD $200!
Thank u Uncle2015 for being my first supporter. I will be unable to return yr favour until my reputation points exceed a certain limit. Do be patient with me.
Thanks newyorker88 & Fireworks for yr encouragement.
Continue:
The pimp reply: CHEE BYE! You think want to bring back the past, can bring back the past just like that issit? Why don’t you ask Lee Kuan Yew to come back again? Why don’t you ask policeman to wear shorts again?
You think I dowan to bring back the past ah? You think all these cosplay uniforms cheap issit? I have to order them online straight from the Japan sex shop ok? Even Singapore sex shop cannot find these kind of uniform! Chao Chee Bye! And every time my girls change, many go back to China and new girls join, I have to order new uniform because old uniform don’t fit their vital stats. And every time police raid, THEY TAKE AWAY MY UNIFORMS. WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY WANT MY UNIFORMS FOR? They bring home and ask their wife or girlfriend wear and pretend to be sex slave issit?!
So now, to cut cost, I just ask the girls to buy their own clothes. So go back China, also no need worry abt whether old uniforms will fit new girls. They can wear their own clothes back, new girls can wear their own clothes in. Simple for me also. Don’t need to keep worrying if some chee bye police will steal my uniform again and force their wife to participate in their sick sexual fantasy.
And most girls really look just as good wearing their own clothes. In fact, a few girls in the past complain to me, say, why the fuck must I wear school and nurse uniform? I am from China, not Japan and this is Singapore. Why must we follow Jap porn standard. I had a hard time explaining things to them. And they feel out of place wearing them. Now problem solve. They feel more natural and at ease with themself too. Kill 2 cock with one chee bye.
And I also notice, more people will want to become customers if we lower the price. SGD $170 is really quite expensive. As a businessman, I have to think of costs. If I can get poorer bros to bang my girls at a cheaper rate, my reputation will spread and I will bring in more business. True, my girls will complain as they have to work harder at a cheaper rate and the quality of their service may go down, but think abt it bro. No one really cares abt quality these days. Look at our country Singapore. It’s gone to the dogs. We use so much cheap foreign talent and although I must admit most of them aren’t very good, well, they’re good enough. We get by, don’t we?
Yes, we get by, I reply. But not for long if Singapore continues like this …
Just at this moment, my Baobei Tao Mei,
who has been watching me from behind the aquarium
for some time already, spoke up:
Baobei, Ni Shi Lai Zhe Li Tan Guo Jia Da Shi,
Hai Shi Lai Zhe Li Gen Wo Zuo Ai De?
(Baby, are u here to discuss politics,
or are u here to make love to me?)
I steam already lor …
To the bro who just up me: do kindly PM me your nick or leave a reply here
so that I can return the favour once I receive enough reputation points.
Continue:
After paying the standard fee of SGD$120,
I said to the pimp:
“Bro, I have a special request.
Do you have a pair of handcuffs, a leather whip,
some candle wax and a room and looks like a prison?
I also need some OL clothes that can be torn easily.”
I placed an extra $80 into his hands
to make the total payment SGD$200.
The pimp raised his eyebrows.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he replied, stuffing the money into his pocket.
He then looked around nervously,
whooped out his iPhone
and started making some quick phone calls.
After 15 minutes, he said:
“Everything has been arranged for you bro.
The handcuffs, the whip, the easily torn OL dress
and underwear are all on the bed.
But 2 things I have to beg u for forgiveness.
Firstly, I’ve gotten some guys to do up one of our rooms
to make it look like a prison, but I’m not sure if it’s
up to yr standard. Next time you want to pull this one on me,
pls give me a call at least 2 hours earlier
so that I have more time to prepare.
I don’t like to do slip shod things last minute
as for me, customer service is always first.
Secondly, due to fire precautions, we are unable to give you
the candle wax you asked for. I’m really sorry abt this.
A few clients have already requested for this
S&M thing long before you. One even wanted to pay up to SGD$1000,
but as you know, now that we are a legal establishment,
we can’t do all the things we used to do at Daisuki Sakura Omangko.
So we had to refuse him. Moreover, the girl got frightened
as she was unfamiliar with the guy
and wasn’t really ready to do this S&M shit …”
“Hey hey hey,” I interrupted, feeling slightly offended.
“What do u mean by S&M
shit
?”
“Hey, I don’t mean it that way, bro, I apologise,”
the pimp raised up both his palms, trying to calm me down.
“It’s just that, well, to each his own.
I myself don’t practise it, so I assumed that
maybe it doesn’t really work that well for others too.
What the fuck do I know anyway?
Who am I to tell others what they should or should not enjoy?
I have no right. You got me there. Sorry.”
“No worries, bro,” I replied. “Actually to tell you the truth,
it’s my first time trying this too.
I myself don’t know if this is gonna work out.”
The pimp paused and looked straight into my eyes for a few seconds.
It seemed to last an eternity.
“You’re not your usual self today bro. Something happened just now.
I know it. Ever since u set foot here a while ago
and started talking abt stuff, I knew.
If you were any other normal customer,
I would have disallowed u from doing this.
But because u r a regular and 2 of us go all the way back,
I am going to make u an exception.
Moreover, you and Tao Mei go all the way back since 2009 anyway,
so I definitely think she trusts you enough.
Just remember, whatever you do, don’t go beyond the limit.
Don’t ever hurt her. Or u will regret it for life.
Can you promise me that?”
“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t hurt her,” I lied.
So Tao Mei and I proceeded to the prison room upstairs
that was specially prepared for us.
After closing the door, Tao Mei reached her arms around me,
hugged me and giggled. I’m like, what the fuck?!
Isn’t she supposed to be scared?
TM: Wah, today pimp boss give me extra SGD$50,
I thought what happened.
Then after he explained to me, aiyo! I was shocked.
So you actually have this kind of habit???!!!
Me: No lah, not habit lah. It’s also my first time.
Is this S&M thing your first time too?
TM: (frowns a bit) Not really. I did it before 3 or 4 times.
Me: So few? Ever since the old days at Daisuki Sakura Omangko?
TM: (nods) Cos I only practise this with those few customers
whom I’m more familiar with. The regulars. Which are very few.
Me: Did you enjoy it?
TM: (thinks a while) Hmmm … overall, not really.
I wasn’t used to it. For most of the cases,
the guys wanted to be the sadist while I was the masochist.
They were so serious. They never laughed.
So I had to play along and be serious too.
They thanked me in the end
and said they enjoyed themselves thoroughly,
but I just can’t seem to see how fun it was.
Me: Were you hurt?
TM: Not really, but there was some pain definitely.
They whipped me but at least they allowed me to block and defend myself a bit.
It’s part of the fun and makes the scenario more authentic.
Nobody allows u to whip them just like that in real life right?
A few also slapped my buttocks hard and there was one
who couldn’t control his strength when he strangled me.
I choked a bit. But other than that, it was ok.
Me: Were there any cases where u were sadist?
TM: Yes. There was only one case,
and it was the most memorable because
it turned out to be a disaster!
The reason was because I just couldn’t bear to whip him.
So I broke into laughter, right there in front of him with
both of us naked and with the whip in my hands.
And he scolded me, saying, “Why are u laughing?
Please be serious, you need to whip me now.
Hit me as hard as you can, you hear?
Give me pain, more pain. I want it, NOW!
Me: So what did you do?
TM: I stopped laughing, and whipped him as hard as I could.
After 30 minutes, there were red whip marks all over his muscular body
but there was this weird smile on his face.
He is very well-built, maybe a bodybuilder, 6 pack and all.
When I saw the hurt I inflicted,
I began to cry. I cried very hard.
I had never cried so hard in my life.
He panicked and didn’t know what to do.
In the end he had to be the one to comfort me
and say that everything is alright.
He felt so bad that he paid me an extra $100
to make me feel better.
We then walked across the room, hand in hand, towards the bed. As promised, the whip, the handcuffs and the easily torn clothes were already on the bed. However, the thing that was not up to standard was the room itself. Years ago at illegal DSO, there was this room specially made to look like a prison cell. There was actually a cage-like structure complete with vertical metal grills, candle wax, ropes, dildos, whips and many other paraphernalia for you to choose from in order to punish offending inmates.
But what do we have here? Chau Chee Bye! This is just a typical room with black curtains installed alongside the bed which tried to make the ambience look gloomy but failed. The words ‘Welcome to Changi Prison’ were spray-painted on the wall nearest to the bed. On the opposite wall, someone tried to draw a picture of a few bats. Beside the bathroom, someone placed a skeleton. What the fuck was the pimp doing? No metal cage, no vertical grill?! And he think we are celebrating Halloween issit! Chau Chee Bye!
Ok never mind, calm down, I tell myself. I look down at the easily torn dress that Tao Mei is supposed to wear later.
WHAT THE FUCK. The dress is already partially torn!
In the old days, they had a specially made dress, complete with bra and panties that were made of very fine fabric, thus making it easy for anyone to tear it into pieces.
This dress looked like a cheap $10 dress sold at a local pasir malam and someone took a pair of scissors to make a number of vertical cuts at the hem of the skirt so as to make it tear more easily.
I rummaged through the pile of clothes to check the bra and panties. The 2 cups of the bra were attached by a piece of scotch tape. The panties also looked as if someone took a pair of scissors to cut a slit on where the vaginal area is supposed to be.
This was what I paid the extra SGD$80 for?! Tamade!
I swear to God that I will shove the handle of the whip up the pimp’s bloody asshole when I see him later.