We guys played the field too much…now it is retribution time….haha, juz kidding. But really hard for a guy to find out his wife played outside this way!
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BUAYA WIVES
By Joyce Lim
April 24, 2006
SHE says she loves her husband but also wants to have sex with other men.
Janice (who did not want her real name to be used) expressed her outlook on life this way: ‘My husband will forever be my husband, my soulmate. Someone to grow old with. But I want a fulfilled life and one man is not enough,’
So, as the Chinese saying goes, she will not give up a forest just for a tree.
Posed picture: Alvin Toh
Not even after she and her boyfriend of seven years got married.
Janice told The New Paper on Sunday that she wants to start a family with her hubby.
But deep inside, she also knows that she wants many men in her life.
‘With my husband, there is love. With other men, it’s purely for fun and excitement. No strings attached,’ she explains.
The 33-year-old IT professional who was married eight years ago, asked that she be not identified as her husband is unaware of her active social life.
Her husband was her first love whom she met in a local polytechnic. They live in a 5-room Housing Board flat and have two children.
The sexy, slim, 1.6m-tall woman with a tanned complexion cannot recall how many men she has slept with.
But she confesses she no longer feels guilty when she sleeps with other men.
‘Before marriage, I felt I was free to see whoever I wanted to. After marriage, I stopped flirting for a while.
‘‘When I went back to my old ways, I felt guilty initially.
‘But it did not take long for the guilt to go away,’ she said.
‘Moreover, I gave my virginity to my husband.’
Infidelity is one of the most common causes of divorce, said lawyers here.
They have seen an increase in cases of husbands filing for divorce because of their cheating wives. (See report on facing page.)
And it’s no surprise that many of the these women are generally well-educated and financially independent, like Janice.
Janice, who describes herself as liberal-minded, went to a university in Australia after getting a diploma.
She was brought up in a well-to-do family and her parents were very strict with her when she was young.
It was in Australia that she got the freedom to do whatever she wanted, Janice told The New Paper on Sunday.
‘I was a wild child when I was in Australia. Sex with the ang mohs (Caucasians) was exciting.
‘I was no longer easily pleased. I began to seek more and more excitment and I told myself that was how I wanted my life to be,’ she said.
‘Why can’t women play the field, go out and have some fun? It’s the 21st century.
‘If we can have more women wearing the pants at home and men giving up their careers to look after the children, I don’t think it is a big deal that women go out to seek some fun.
‘At the end of the day, we still come home to our husbands.’
Janice knows there is the chance that her marriage may break down if her husband finds out about her flings.
TAKING THE RISK
Yet she has no qualms taking the risk.
‘I can’t explain why I put my marriage at risk. But I just can’t be tied down to living with only one man,’ she said.
‘I’ve seen too many of my friends lose their freedom after they got hitched,’ added Janice, who is determined to keep hers.
Her husband often works late, while she usually knocks off on time.
‘Sometimes, I’ll pop by my husband’s office to have dinner with him before going out to enjoy myself,’ said Janice, who goes out two to three times a week.
‘My husband thinks I’m out shopping or hanging out at coffee joints with my group of girlfriends.
‘But most of the time, we like to unwind in pubs, which are also where we pick up the guys.’
Once Janice steps into a pub, her eyes discreetly sweep the dance floor and bar counters, looking for promising partners.
‘I don’t always end up in bed with them. It depends on my mood. Sometimes it’s purely harmless flirting,’ said Janice.
She is not worried about her friends telling on her as they share her views about extra-martial sex.
When Janice does have sex with the men, she would visit budget hotels in Geylang or Joo Chiat Road so as to avoid being seen by her husband or friends.
She also makes sure that she does not stay out too late. The latest she has been out was 1am.
‘When my husband is overseas for work, I’ll stay out later,’ she added.
Janice is also discreet in public.
‘I don’t get intimate with other men too openly in public, unless we’re in a pub where I’m sure my husband or his friends won’t visit.
‘If I ever bump into my husband, I will just introduce the man as a friend. My husband won’t suspect anything.’
Throughout the interview, Janice emphasised repeatedly that she is unfaithful not because of marital problems.
‘I have a healthy sex life with my husband and we are happily married.
‘I know many people may not be able to accept the kind of lifestyle which I am leading now,’ she said. ‘Maybe I am very open-minded and I value my social life more than anything else.’
FREEDOM
Like Janice, Claire (not her real name) also clings on dearly to her freedom.
The 25-year-old sales executive has a steady boyfriend of three years, but still dates other men.
‘I love my boyfriend and I’ll probably marry him one day.
‘‘I go out with other men purely for fun. Some of them are married or attached. We just enjoy each other’s company but we will not fall in love,’ she said.
Claire describes sex with other men as more exciting than with her steady boyfriend.
She started sleeping around with other men about two years ago.
‘There is nothing wrong with my boyfriend. The problem lies with me. I am harder to satisfy,’ explained Janice, who has slept with about 20 men besides her boyfriend.
‘Sex with my boyfriend is more conservative and he takes a long time to turn me on. But when I have sex with others, we tend to be more adventurous.
‘The men told me that they feel the same way with their girlfriends or wives.’
Claire too does not feel guilty for having multiple sex partners, citing the same reason Janice did - that she has no feelings for these men.
She said of her husband: ‘How do I know if he is not seeing other women too?’
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THEY BLAME THEIR HUSBANDS, SAYS LAWYER
MORE wives are cheating on their husbands, lawyers told The New Paper on Sunday.
Lawyers here are seeing an increase in the number of cases of husbands filing for divorce on the grounds that their wives cheating on them.
A decade ago, lawyer Amolat Singh, 50, says he saw a case once in a few years. He has handled about six such cases recently.
He says: ‘These women are not sluts who go all the way out to start an affair. Many affairs started from innocent ‘Ladies’ night outings with their girlfriends.’
‘Maybe one girl in the group happens to know some guys and introduces them to the rest (of her girlfriends). And the one-night stand starts.’
Some of these women are also not sorry about straying. Not only that, they find excuses to justify their actions and shift the blame, says Mr Singh.
‘Most of them blame their husbands for not being home for them or for being too preoccupied with their careers,’ he adds.
Mr David Kan, 40, a marriage counsellor from Family Service Centre, says that affairs start usually because of communication problems between the married couple.
‘When someone else whom the wife can relate to comes along, an affair could start,’ he says.
‘Couples should try to seek professional help or get a skilful moderator to manage their problems.’
One reason why more wives are straying could be their better earning power and an increase in their numbers in the workforce, says Mr Jason Toh, 37, from law firm Ho, Wong and Partners.
Mr Toh has seen two such cases in the past four months.
In four of the six cases that Mr Singh handled recently, the women were graduates.
‘They were go-getters - financially independent women who hold fairly good jobs,’ he adds.
In most cases, the husbands usually find out about their wives’ affairs from their frequent late nights and handphone messages.
Mr Radakrishnan of Bernard Rada and Lee Law Corporation has also noticed an increase in divorces where the husbands claim that the wives have been unfaithful.
He says: ‘There is a reluctance among the men to use the wives’ infidelity as grounds for divorce. They usually try to find some other reason.’
my current fuck-buddy is one such wives…
but then again, i understand that her husband also fucks around.. so she thinks it alright for her to have fun too..
It’s getting quite common nowadays. Good for the guys, I guess. 2 of my current FBs are married. Better for me cos I know they won’t get ‘sticky’.
For 1 of them, I even screwed her on the eve of her wedding. She wanted it as a ‘present’ from me. Go figure..
If the husband fucks around then nothing to say…
But if the hubby are faithful, then i pity the hubby.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sex4LiFe
my current fuck-buddy is one such wives…
but then again, i understand that her husband also fucks around.. so she thinks it alright for her to have fun too..
Same here bro. My fuck buddy will call me whenever she suspects her husband is out fucking around.
We have GREAT sex. As she wants to take revenge her way.
I don’t mind it at all… Absolutely no strings attached. Very discreet!
In fact she only calls me when she want to fuck. Other times, she leaves me alone and I don’t call her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Pokimon1
Same here bro. My fuck buddy will call me whenever she suspects her husband is out fucking around.
We have GREAT sex. As she wants to take revenge her way.
I don’t mind it at all… Absolutely no strings attached. Very discreet!
In fact she only calls me when she want to fuck. Other times, she leaves me alone and I don’t call her.
You guys are lucky! so many FBs, I cant find any ard….all too kuai kuai! haha
i afraid of retribution
what go around come around too
so i dont fuck people wife
but i fucked a divorcee before
so should not count rite?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bart
Hmmm… I wonder where my wife learnt that new thing with her tongue…
Damn my wife confirm not one of them … still dunno how to use tongue yet!
We have GREAT sex. As she wants to take revenge her way.
I don’t mind it at all… Absolutely no strings attached. Very discreet!
In fact she only calls me when she want to fuck. Other times, she leaves me alone and I don’t call her.
[/QUOTE]
In my experiences with recent 3 FBs, their hubbies do not screw ard. FB1 and 2 say that hubbies extremely selfish & never attentive to their sexual needs. The classic example of going off into deep snooze after cumming, leaving them high and dry.
FB3 simply wants to have fun. These 3 married women do not simply just jump into the sack with any dick…
I was thinking, are there anybody here who doesn’t fuck around ? either with fl, mistress, FB, pros.
If you think abt it, the number of bros here is huge. If nobody is here JUST to read and discuss, then the population of guys fooling ard is HUGE.
So, the girls realise this. And this is their way of getting back at us, with our buddies, with other men.