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Either u get a promotion soon
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Or u tio Toto
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Elvis_Boy
There are definately some responses to the “Tirak Problems” and must say that “The Unforgiven” has made some great contributions by clearly stating all the pitfalls by getting emotionally attached to a working girl……
I must say I find that Elvis_Boy’s emotional dilemma and problems during the course of the relationship is typical of what men who insist on pursuing such relationships have to endure.
Despite Elvis_Boy’s post, I must take this opportunity to warn samsters that such success stories are rare. Some may say that you will never know till you try. Let’s look at it in plain business sense, would you do an invesment that has only a extremely low (say 5 - 10%) rate of success? Then again, some will say this is love, not business. That’s why this will be a never ending debate.
Ask yourselves some questions:
1.) Does she really love you or is she in it for the money?
2.) She sweet talks other customers for “business”, she sweet talks with you because she loves you? How sure are you? This applies to other intimate gestures a girl might do.
3.) Can you handle your girl being intimate with customers on both sexual and non sexual basis when she is supposed to be exclusive to you?
4.) Can you handle the fact your girl is having sex with countless men for a living?
5.) If she stops one day, can you handle the fact that she used to work in this line?
6.) Even 30 years on when you are happily married with her, can you honestly tell me you still don’t feel the pain that your wife has been violated by other guys when you were still with her?
The long and the short of it, if you still insist on pursuing such a relationship, come out a better person from it whether you succeed or not. Please don’t end up as another addition to the Sad Fuck community.
Nevertheless, a big thanks to Elvis_Boy for sharing his story. Congratulations on your success story bro. I however, choose not to indulge in such relationships anymore. I hope that all samsters out there can be more rational when it comes to making such decisions.
Tirak Free,
TheUnforgiven
There have been some questions posed by others in this thread. However, The Unforgiven has asked some questions which I will answer in an attempt to give others some insight as to what emotions and thoughts that one may feel or think when entering into a Tirakship. In addition, I will try to answer some of the questions that may explore some of my thoughts about having a relationship with a working girl in the future. However, those reading these responses, please bear in mind that my answers are only true to my own relationship and may not reflect what others may experience or about to experience if chasing a Tirakship.
1.) Does she really love you or is she in it for the money?
I met her initially without the knowledge that she was a working girl. She was in the line of business strictly for the money. As the realationship progressed, the monetary benefits didn’t seem so great anymore. Sure she was making good money and could enjoy life, but the same money that could buy superficial happiness soon became a poisoned chalice. Its like a double-edged sword. We could go out and have a good time and splash on things which we (she) possibly couldn’t on a normal job. To be honest with whoever is reading this thread, I think the both of us were trying to escape the reality of her line of work if we did go out. If not, I was trying to escape the grim core of truth more than she was. However, as the relationship progressed in the sense of spending more time and getting to know eachother more…..about one’s true self, one’s feelings, getting to know one’s vulnerablility…….you then to trust eachother more. After all….love is about trust. This may sound like I’m contradicting myself as one might say….how can I trust her…..especially when she works in the line of work like she does. That’s also quite true. My trust for her (and her for me) was the ability to trust one another with one’s feelings……and being able to tell them what makes you vulnerable….without the fear of eachother turning that against you. In time, I also learn to trust her that what she did was strictly for money….and not for the joy of meeting people she liked……however…this was a concept I could never sincerely believe in…..never 100%. As a result, as our emotions grew, we also fought a lot. She felt guilty in what she was doing, and at times, I was so torn up that I couldn’t let her leave for the night. Money is what we need to survive in this world……but as this is an unhealthy relationship, soon the line must be drawn on the sand as to what was happen. Either she left her work (or circumstances change), or forever be in an unhappy relationship. I’m glad it worked out the way it did.
2.) She sweet talks other customers for “business”, she sweet talks with you because she loves you? How sure are you? This applies to other intimate gestures a girl might do.
hahaha……I find this interesting as my girl doesn’t sweet talk me!!!! Seriously, we have our moments where we whisper sweet things to eachother but there are moments for these…..I’m only speaking wholly on the personality of my girl. She is a very direct person. If she doesn’t like someone, she tell it to that person’s face. A friend once said to me….“to use less of your head and use more of your heart”. The human mind is able to reason and justify arguments. It can argue something that is wrong into something that is right. Such is the power of the human psyche. What she has ever said to me always felt real. If it wasn’t, then I wouldn’t be able to build our relationship on trust and confidence. If I couldn’t do so……i would find it very hard to love someone. Again to viewers of this thread, that is my personality and depending on your and your tirak’s personality, it will determine how that relationship pans out. However, one might say to me that perhaps it is my longing for this relationship to work out that I am convincing myself that whatever she says is true. And if that is the case, I wouldn’t know what is right and what is wrong. To answer The Unforgiven’s question of how I would know if what she says is sincere……..i will bring this to a more philisophical level of understanding…..to me….Action speaks louder than words. One may associate a Working Girl as focused on the need to make money. They are willing to degrade themselves perhaps to make cash. If thats the case, you can assume that they will be heartless, selfish whereby their own welfare comes FIRST and BEYOND others. The reason why i know my girl meant what she said was how she behaved. She never asked me to pay for anything when we went out and always offered to pay first. Although I never over-extended nor abuse her generosity, it did make me feel inadequate as a man due to my own traditional beliefs that males are suppose to be the bread-winners. Boy did that line of thinking changed in a hurry!!! She always bought me gifts and presents….which I always struggled to match. She trusted me with her money. Asking me to save it for her. She never asked me once to buy her anything. That is just some of the things that she does that makes me trust her.
3.) Can you handle your girl being intimate with customers on both sexual and non sexual basis when she is supposed to be exclusive to you?
I hate people sitting on the fence when you ask them a question where they say “yes”, “no” or “maybe”. So I will give you a straight answer. No. There was NEVER one time where i was totally comfortable with it. Although I did try to convince myself and try to justify so……it always bothered me. My mind was my own greatest enemy. When I was by myself at home, my own thoughts as to what she was doing always killed me inside. At times, my heart felt so heavy that I thought there was a rock in there. But don’t use that analogy as if I was immune to the pain…..no. I always felt my heart was so broken and that there were so many stitches in it that there was no room for another stitch……but there was always room for more….Let me say this to you all……having a Tirakship will mean you will live your life in limbo…..there will be joys and there will be hell……..you will never feel that your life is on the right track……it cannot!!! Never when you are in a Tirakship because this is not normal. Everything that you believe what love is to be will be turned upside down. As The Unforgiven suggest, after all your girl should (must) be exclusive to you. But this cannot be as long as she is a working girl. Therefore, there came a point in our life where enough is enough, pick up the rest of our lives and move on. Boy meets girl…..girl meets boy…fall in love…..have children. Imagine this, how crazy would it be if we had a child while she continued to work. How would one bring a child up while teaching him/her to be ethical and moral…..it would mean lying to the child…….i couldn’t live with myself
4.) Can you handle the fact your girl is having sex with countless men for a living?
No. This is rather a rude and crass question, but I have nothing against The Unforgiven for asking this. After all, this is the reality of it. If anyone is thinking or have entered into a Tirakship, I want you to look yourself straight into a mirror….look yourself in the eyes and ask that question. Whatever your answer is…..ask yourself why. In fact, I have actually done this myself. My answer was no. So……why was I still in the relationship. I did and still do love her…….the only thing I could do was TOLERATE. This is all I could do……just tolerate and live my own life. I felt powerless to do anything. Sure I could do is ask her to stop……but what solution could l offer. But there will come a time when you have to decide…..or she to decide…..(i will come to that later). There is one thing I will say about the sex that we have. As I used to be a Cheongster……believe me when I say I know exactly what goes on inside those rooms….I used to be the one that organise a group of friends to those places…..(something I will learn to regret). But the sex that I have with my girl then and now was NEVER like what goes on in those rooms. I could NEVER ask my girl to do things that I used to ask working girls to do. And she would NEVER do those things that clients may ask her to do. This is not to say we have boring sex….far from it. When we have sex, its never done in a way where what my happen behind closed doors in a brothel or massage house. I guess that is what makes it special for the two of us. When she comes back from work, she’ll make love with me…..and that was “our thing” to escape the realities of life.
to be continued…
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5.) If she stops one day, can you handle the fact that she used to work in this line?
I can answer this confidently with a “yes”. We have been together for 10 years and she has stopped working for 7 years. There is no way she’ll ever go back as she is in a different frame of mind now. She did tell me that she needed to be focused and motivated when ding such a job. She also did say that the less she thought about it, the easier it was to handle her line of work. Its been quite long and now we have child, she is now pre-occupied with being a good mother than anything else. I definately feel more happier now and feels like the burden of the world is off my shoulders. I will NOT be writing this thread if this was 5 years ago or longer. But as time moves on, the pain also starts to dull. I guess when I look back when I was in a Tirakship, i always long for us to be normal……and now that we have a sembalance of a normal life……i am extremely grateful and much happier. There are even times when we joke about it………i surely had no sense of humour about it when she was a working girl.
6.) Even 30 years on when you are happily married with her, can you honestly tell me you still don’t feel the pain that your wife has been violated by other guys when you were still with her?
I have to say that The Unforgiven has selected a rather “straight down to business” language by using “violated”. Well, I’m the type of person that tries not to dwell on the past. I never used to be like that. But experiences with other aspects of my life and allowed me to be so. Somethings things in life may be ugly or unpleasant. You just have to deal with it AND comes to terms with it. If not, you will forever rot in the past. A family member that I have had his wife leave him for about 10 years now and he stills dwells in it and bears his burden on all to listen. I look at him and know that this is a sad man of what used to be a proud man. The way I see it, you can either CHOOSE to be miserable…or CHOOSE to be happy. Remember, the only person that can CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE………is you. You can wake up and say “Fuck this Goddamn World and all the people in it….” or choose to enjoy what you have and love the people around you. I’m not saying we should all be hippies and start wearing flowers in our heads and wave Peace signs……i’m just saying we should all “get real” and start thanking the fact that we are alive. Therefore, I don’t ponder much about what has happened…..I honestly don’t think about it anymore….and if it does pop into my mind…..i don’t entertain those thoughts anymore……its all about her and my child now….its all about what I can do for them…
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I will conclude by saying this. Of course I wish that we met and fallen in love under different circumstances. But I would still choose what did happen than not being with her.
I regret what I used to do…….and because of what I did…….it was my own mind that was killing me. How have i changed? I have learned to hate Cheongsters…..i have learned to hate men who disrespect woman and abuse them physically and emotionally……..i have learnt to be more tolerant……but most of all….i have learned to be humble. I have learnt that when “lady luck” smiles on you…be grateful and appreciate things around you. Don’t be a cocky bastard or a show-off…….it only shows you how insecure you really are…..Love the one you’re with and tell them how much you love them…….everyday.
I wish you all luck in your future endeavours
All tirak hopers, better hope hor.
If Elvis boy did not get a promotion then, I supposed his girl will still have to work.
So all tirak hopers, better hope for 2 things
SC
Must ask Suteerak1099 1 question
When his girlfriend get money from Sponsors, he hear already is it a joy or woe???
hehehe
SC