“Yes. For some reason, when I have anal sex with her, it humbles her. She needs to learn humility. Desperately.”
“And it just so happens that you’re forced to have sex with the head cheerleader in order to be such a good Samaritan. My heart bleeds for you.”
“Peggy, please don’t mock me. Back when I was a virgin, I thought that sex was just about achieving sexual satisfaction, but now I know there’s so much more to it. All kinds of intense emotional things can happen. You’ve felt it with me. Did we not share some of the most wonderful, emotional, and transformative moments together when we were having sex?”
A sad look crossed her face and a lot of the anger and resentment seemed to drain out of her. “Yes, you know we did.”
“Haven’t we bonded through sex into something so much more than the relationship we had before? A new relationship based on total love?”
“Argh! Stop saying that! Yes, okay. That’s true. But now those priceless memories seem so cheap when I think that you might have been experiencing the same thing with Sera or your own mother. Or should I say mothers? Shawn, this is just too weird! You’ve just had too many intense and sexual relationships with too many other women. I’ll never be able to deal with it. No!”
“But Peggy, why does that matter? Can a parent only love one child? If a parent greatly loves one child, does that mean there’s nothing left for the other child? No!” He paused for some moments, then continued. “Think how deep a family bond is, a good family bond. I can’t change my relation to Vel and the rest now. Do you expect me to go completely cold turkey on them, never see them again? Think of the anguish. Think of the pain if I simply can’t hug my own mother any more. Think of all the anguish you’ve been going through, and imagine that happening to them.”
Peggy thought about it, but didn’t mind that much. “You have to do it. You can’t continue with this perverse situation. You need a normal marriage. A normal monogamous life! Let me give you that!” As soon as the words left her mouth, she thought, Oh my god! Did I just propose MARRIAGE to him? No! He’s only eighteen! He’s in HIGH SCHOOL! Good Lord, is that what I want? Shawn, please let that comment slide because I don’t even want to think about the implications!
To her great relief, Shawn merely replied, “Peggy, you don’t understand! I don’t have the choice to walk away. A monogamous relationship just isn’t the card I’ve been dealt in this life. It’s not just good sex - I have responsibilities to them. Commitments have been made. They NEED me! Look at Cheese for instance. She’s been in a loveless marriage for years. She was the living dead, and didn’t even realize it because she kept herself busy with all kinds of schemes. Then her romantic relationship with me started. Peggy, you know I try to be modest, but it’s a fact she’s found the most intense love with me that she’s ever known, or probably ever will know. She would be beyond crushed if I walked away. Vel’s feelings, if anything, are even more intense. And if they blamed you? I hate to think what they would do.”
Peggy shuddered as she thought about the likes of the wily Cheese getting revenge on her. But more than that, she was impressed at the depth of responsibility and commitment Shawn felt for the others. She could tell he was very sincere about it.
“But more than that, Peggy, is the love. I love them and need them, and they feel the same about me. I know I’m incredibly lucky with my sexual situation, but there’s so much more going on here. But it’s exactly the same situation with you. It’s the same! I love and need you, too, just as much as them! You and I aren’t just a couple of people having a hot sexual affair - we’re in love! You and I should be together, always. You belong with us, in our loving circle.”
Peggy put her hands over her ears as if the words caused her physical pain. She closed her eyes tightly and said, “Shawn, you can’t seriously be asking me to join your multiple partner, incestuous, bisexual family! I can’t do that! I can’t even see you face to face, it’s too painful!”
“That is what I’m asking. I love you and want to be with you the rest of my life. I love YOU.”
“Stop saying that already!”
Shawn reached across the small space that separated them and gently lay his fingers over hers. “But it’s true. Do you doubt my love for you?” He hesitated to say something several times and even stammered, then finally said, “Ah, what the hell. I might as well tell you. I’ve never really told you about my crushes in junior high or before. That’s because there never were any. Sure, I thought some girls were cute, but I never felt anything strong enough that even made me want to go on a date. Maybe it’s because I got interested in sex kind of late. Pretty ironic, given my life today. But more than that, I think all those girls didn’t really appeal to me much because they were just that: girls. There wasn’t anything for me to talk about with them. You were the first girl I fell for, and fell hard. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some kind of deeply ingrained chemical or biological thing that happens to permanently mark that first love. I don’t think there will be anyone, ever, who will make me feel like I feel when I see you. I know it sounds totally cornball, but my heart leaps every single time I see you. I do love you. So much.”
Peggy’s eyes were open again, in complete amazement. She replied, “Stop saying that,” but this time it was clearly meant as a joke. She was using humor in a desperate attempt to laugh to keep from crying. She was profoundly moved by the depth of Shawn’s love, and stood up to hug and kiss him.
But as soon as she was out of her chair, she regretted the move. Not only was she afraid of losing all control as soon as they touched, but by suddenly standing she felt a breeze on her pussy and realized that her skirt had ridden up and she was showing everything down below.
She stood like a deer frozen in headlights for a few seconds, then practically threw herself back into her chair. Luckily, Shawn stood at the same time, and his eyes had never left hers, so she was fairly confident he didn’t notice.
Nonetheless, she again cursed her choice of a short skirt and her failure to wear underwear. But that and the near hug reminded her of how impossible the whole situation was. She said, “I’m sorry. I knew I was your first serious crush, but I never realized just how deep it was and how much it’s meant to you. That means a lot to me. But still…”
He sighed. “‘But still.’ I know. I know it’ll take a long time for you to understand everything and feel comfortable with these ideas I’m putting out there. In the meantime, can’t we at least remain friends?”
She looked at him pleadingly and helplessly. “I’d really, really want to, in theory. But in reality, you have a very strong sexual magnetism now. Do you know what you did to me during class today? Maybe it was my imagination, but you seemed to smell of cum, your very special and delicious brand of cum. I could barely control myself! Teaching the class was pure torture.”
She thought again of how close she’d been mere moments before to a hug that certainly would have ended with him banging her right on her desk, and said, “Even now, my body is begging me to throw myself at you. We can’t forget the past and all the intense, sexual moments we’ve shared. This is pure torture now as I speak! I so much want to be happy with you. But the only way I can realistically survive and carry on is to go completely cold turkey and bring our relationship outside the classroom to a complete halt. Otherwise I’ll always be completely dependent on your strange sexual power over me.”
She belatedly realized that they were still holding hands. In fact, they were squeezing each other’s hand as if their lives depended on it. She reluctantly pulled her hand away.
CHAPTER 15
Shawn was stumped. Changing Peggy’s mind seemed hopeless. But then he decided to take a completely different tack, which was also completely heartfelt and true, but more desperate, in an attempt to keep at least some relationship going. “Let me be brutally honest, Peggy, I’m the one completely dependent on you. Everything else aside, the fact is, my life is a hair’s breadth away from total disaster. You’re my only hope of salvation.”
“How do you figure?”
“Peggy, you’re right. There does seem to be some kind of strange sexual thing going on with me. I don’t know what it is. But the women I happen to love the most are all basically either submissive or passive types who seem to lose all willpower around me. The only exceptions are you and Cheese, and Cheese seems to be getting overwhelmed. There’s no one to say no. It’s approaching the point where I could start using my family as furniture. When I sit down to watch TV, I could literally tell my mother to be my naked footrest, and she’d do it! Now, I would never, ever do that to her, but it’s so dangerously intoxicating to know that I could treat people like that! Yet, it’s so very wrong! Sometimes I feel like my mind is slipping and I’m either going to go crazy or turn completely evil and abusive. Nobody should have that kind of power, because power corrupts, but I just can’t trust myself to do the right thing all the time. I don’t even know when too much is too much sometimes, anymore. I NEED someone to tell me no!
“Look at my schoolwork situation. I missed half my classes today, and completely spaced out in the rest, as you certainly noticed. If I told my family that I was going to drop out of school tomorrow, not even Cheese would try to stop me. She’s too much of a hostage to her own lusts.”
His voice grew much more urgent. “You’re the ONLY ONE out of the people I deeply love with the willpower to keep me on the right path. The very fact that you’re telling me ’no’ today shows me that you have the strength I need. Without your help, I can see my future, where sexual obsession leads me and my whole family to complete ruin.”
Shawn got down on his knees and begged. “Peggy, I know that you’re not ready to join my family, but don’t leave my life completely! I can’t make it without you!”
Peggy was stunned by that, and just sat silently for a while. She recalled how Cheese had said that Shawn was thrust into a difficult situation not of his own making. She felt for his plight. She looked at him kneeling before her, and found her eyes drifting down to his shorts. Against her will, she was checking for signs of any bulges. She realized how wildly inappropriate that was and tore her eyes away, then said, “Sit back in your chair, young man. I don’t like to see you like that.”
While Peggy had been checking out his package, his lower position gave him an accidental up close view of her legs and the space in between them. Even though she kept her knees close together and a hand on her lap to best protect her modesty, Shawn was able to see some of the flesh between her legs. He thought, I know it’s totally inappropriate to think this right now, but am I seeing things, or is Peggy not wearing any underwear? Maybe she’s wearing one of those flesh-colored pantyhose over her panties?
He returned to his chair and tried to keep his mind out of the gutter.
She thought some more. “Shawn, I had an inkling about those kinds of problems, but I didn’t realize their extent. I’ve been watching you slip into sexual abandon for a while now, and it’s been worrying me. I can’t bear to just stand aside and watch you drop out of school and out of life, becoming a sexually relentless terror to all women.”
Her tone softened slightly as she looked at his earnest face. “You’re such a good boy at heart, but you’re right, power does corrupt. I want to help you, except for one thing. I don’t know if I have the strength to resist you. What if I just totally lose it, and become, well, a sexual slave? That’s what I feel like, sometimes. You’re so emotionally intense! At times, I feel right on the verge of giving my whole soul to you. The fact that I love you so much makes you that much more sexually irresistible.” She bowed her head down sadly. “I don’t know if I have the strength you need.”
He replied, “Maybe not, but I’m thinking that you and Cheese can do it together. Right now, she’s surrounded by submissives who are all pulling her one way. There’s no one and nothing pulling her the other way. Together, you two can lean on each other.”
Shawn naturally didn’t know about Cheese’s fantasy concerning Peggy that she’d detailed to Vel a short while before, but if he did it would have served as an excellent case in point about how Cheese was getting sucked into the submissive mindset. He also would have been completely appalled that even Cheese would harbor such thoughts about Peggy, even if only in fantasy. Worse, if he’d listened to the whole fantasy, he would have been both appalled and very aroused.
He continued, “It’s not just a matter of saving me. It’s like this new family is a new ship sailing off into uncharted waters, and we’re all in danger of drowning. We’re getting completely carried away by our lusts. But you’re the missing piece. With you, we could right the ship and do great things that have never been done before. We could create a new kind of family and live lives few even dare to dream. That’s one reason why it just feels so right that you belong with us.”
Peggy was hit by an epiphany. She thought back to her conversation with Cheese, and remembered how Cheese told her that she thought they were fated to be best friends. Is this what she meant? That the two of us are the only ones with the necessary willpower, so we naturally have to support each other, and lean on each other, as Shawn put it? Somehow, even though I’ve only met her once, I can imagine being best friends with her, and working with her as the family “backbone” for years to come. It’s almost like I can see the future, the two of us, hand in hand, holding each other…
But as she thought this she recalled how attractive Cheese was, radiating sexiness and desire so strongly that even Peggy began to get aroused just thinking about her pale face. She further recalled the hungry looks Cheese had given her, and wondered if Cheese secretly lusted after her. In her mind, their holding each other for mutual support turned into a more intimate embrace. Peggy found herself looking up into Cheese’s shimmering green eyes as their lips drew closer. Somehow along the way their clothes disappeared, and Peggy’s C-cup breasts were swallowed up by Cheese’s soft yet firm E-cup mountains. Their faces came closer and closer together until their quivering lips were on the verge of touching…
Peggy suddenly rebelled in disgust at the thoughts entering her mind, and tore herself free from her daydream. She thought, What is WRONG with me? I am NOT interested in women, period! But with Cheese, who came blame anyone if they… What I mean is, she’s so beautiful that any human being, male or female, can’t help but desire her sexy, sultry body… It’s as if she was one of the Greek goddesses come to Earth… A giant Amazon of pure lust … holding and squeezing a mere mortal like me…
To her disgust, she realized she’d been drifting off again. She looked at Shawn, and saw he looked very puzzled by what had been her dreamy and distant gaze. She shook her head as if that would clear her mind, and protested to him, “But I’m not like them! I’m not bisexual. I wouldn’t fit in…”
He answered, “I’m not asking you to do anything bisexual just to fit in. That would be wrong. Some people just are that way, and some people aren’t. I’m sure they would gladly accept you in a loving but completely platonic way. You must know enough about them from all I’ve told you to realize they’re very loving and understanding people. What’s important is that you and I stay together, and my family stays together.”
She refocused her thoughts and tried a different tack. “Look. Here’s an idea. Your academic career is hanging at the edge of a cliff. Why don’t I work with Cheese to try to get that back in order? Between her at home and me here at school, we can use carrots and sticks to get you back on track. Lately, you’ve somehow been doing some homework, but it’s been such a pale reflection of the work you used to do. You can do better. Then, if that works, we can talk about tackling some of the other, bigger problems.”
Shawn was overjoyed. He jumped up to hug her.
But she recoiled at the prospect of the hug and said, “BUT! Wait! There’s a ‘but.’” He stopped just before he reached her and listened. “The condition, young man, is NO sex with me. Nothing. No hugs, no kisses, no touching, nothing. Frankly, I am very, very doubtful that I have the willpower to do even this. You want to know the truth? I was aroused and wet through the entire fourth period today. And when the class was over, I spent the lunch in a masturbatory frenzy, cumming over and over. Does that sound like the kind of woman with the willpower and strength you need? No! I should flee this whole city if I know what’s good for me. I fear that you’ll pull me into this sexual storm surrounding you, and I’ll never get out. But I’m willing to risk it for you, because … because I love you.”
He smiled, and joked, “Stop saying that already!”
She laughed. “You see? That’s the problem. You’re just too damned lovable. Very funny. But you have to work with me, okay? Don’t tempt me! Help me, okay? We have to help each other.”
“Okay. You’re right. I’m so relieved. I was so worried that this would be the last real conversation I’d ever have with you. This feels right. I still feel deeply that you and I should love each other in every way, but we should gather our strength first. Together, we’re going to do it!” He reached forward to hug her, but stopped himself at the last moment. “Oh. Right. No touching. Sorry.”
She nodded, her face both happy and sad at once.
He started walking to the door. “I’ll just let myself out then. Thanks so much, Peggy. You’re the greatest!”
Peggy remained in her chair after he’d gone. What have I done? “Willpower?” Ha! What willpower? I’ve just doomed myself to an endless future of frustration and misery. Tonight I know I’m going to be dreaming and masturbating about him yet again, just like last night. Then tomorrow I’m going to see him in class and my heart will leap up into my throat, but I won’t be able to even share the smallest hug with him. Is there any other woman as unhappy and trapped between a rock and a hard-on as I am? But I can’t stand by and watch him fail. I couldn’t live with myself.
She paused. Wait! Did I just say “hard-on”? I meant “hard place.” Hard PLACE! See? This is my problem! Why does he assume I’m not as sex-obsessed as the rest?
She raised herself off of her chair a little bit to adjust her skirt. She thought, Of all the days to forget to wear my underwear, why today? And with Shawn getting down on his knees he must have seen everything! He’ll think I’m a complete slut. … But I’m going to prove him wrong. I will NOT let thoughts of fantastic sex overwhelm me. Willpower! I must have willpower!
As Shawn closed the door behind him, he thought, Well, that wasn’t a total disaster. I feel hopeful that maybe we can reach some kind of new understanding. But now I have to go from the frying pan into the fire. It’s time to deal with the whole Dr. Fredrickson situation. Ugh! And so much more to do today. But no time to think - I’ve gotta run!
He ran to the front of the school, where he expected a ride would be waiting. Sure enough, Vel was waiting in the driver’s seat of the family’s S.U.V., keeping an eye on the traffic. Hui Shan and Joanna were sitting in the back, looking out for him and expectantly waiting to hear how his meeting with Peggy had gone. He thought, Ah. Family. Family love. Whatever happens, it’ll all work out as long as our family sticks together.