Human Physiology -Longest Labia Minora
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Women of several African tribes artificially enlarge their labia to remarkable lengths. Beginning as young lasses, females of the Venda and Benin tribes (located in southern and western Africa, respectively) tug constantly on their labia to elongate them. Sometimes the girls will band together and assist one another. Sort of like a kinky version of a knitting circle, I guess. The labia can hang as much as 7 inches in length, much to the delight of the menfolk, who find women with lengthened lips very desirable. In case you’re wondering how the manage with such ponderous equipment, they often push the long labia into the vaginal orifice to protect them during normal household chores.
Human Physiology -Largest Buttocks
Excessive buttock tissue, called steatopygous, or “fat-arsed” (as opposed to callipygous: “possessing beautiful buttocks”; adds that certain mellifluous touch to your locker-room conversations) is rare but not unheard of. The largest examples can be found in the Hottentot tribe of Africa, who possess moons that would make Sir Mix-A-Lot envious. In their most developed state, each buttock can be two or three feet across
Techniques -Most Orgasms
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For 22 years, Doctors William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian of the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California, have been faithfully recording the orgasmic response in their laboratory. After hooking up subjects to blood-pressure and heart-rate monitors and various sensors in the vagina or anus, the doctors would sit by the beside and take copious notes as the subjects busied themselves. In an attempt to head off accusations of prurience, they say such research is stupifyingly dull, saying they had to “struggle to stay awake.” However, they overcame the tedium to spend 10,000 hours in the laboratory. After several false starts (originally they had the subjects push a button whenever they had a orgasm, but during the heat of the moment they usually became too preoccupied to be concerned with the cause of research), the study continued apace, eventually encompassing 751 individuals. The most orgasms they recorded in an hour for a woman is a staggering 134, while the best men could do was 16. How we lesser mortals can hope to achieve anything in that vicinity was not discussed.
Techniques -Least Orgasms
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Techniques - Longest Orgasm
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Male Yet another example of inequality in the sexes. The typical male orgasm lasts anywhere from 3 to 8 seconds, though its possible through deep breathing and regular exercising to extend it to…oh, maybe 10 seconds or so. Pitiful, you may think, compared to the Herculean orgasms accomplished by some women, but sex is usually measured in terms of satisfaction of the male; in fact, the anthropologist Margaret Mead uncovered societies in which the female orgasm is unknown. So I guess it all evens out in the end.
Female As you probably know, women are capable of multiple orgasms without having to rest between. However, as savant Cecil Adams expounds in his book More of the Straight Dope, women are capable of so much more:
What you probably didn’t know is that women are capable of sustained orgasm, called status orgasmus. These start with a 2 to 4 second “spastic contraction” and last twenty to sixty seconds. Masters and Johnson (1966) published a chart of one woman who experienced a 43-second orgasm, consisting of at least 25 successive contractions. Status orgasmus is usually the result of self-stimulation, but a woman can experience it at the hands (or whatever) of a suitably skilled lover.
Techniques - Fastest Orgasm
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Male Certain rare individuals—1 in every 1250 men, to be precise—can ejaculate by deliberately concentration on sexual fantasies without any genital manipulation whatsoever, for a total time to orgasm to be…well, right around zero seconds. As Kinsey put it: “In such a case the psychic stimulation is entirely responsible for the result.” Truly, the mind really is the most powerful sex organ.
Female In his book, Dr. Kinsey & The Institute for Sex Research, Wardell B. Pomeroy recounts the case of one extraordinary woman who had near-godlike powers in the sack. His words: “I remember one woman who was capable of from fifteen to twenty orgasms in twenty minutes. Even the most casual contact could arouse a sexual response in her. Observing her both in masturbation and in sexual intercourse, we found that in intercourse her first orgasm occurred with two to five seconds after entry.” [My emphasis] Ladies, eat your hearts out.
Techniques - Largest Ejaculate Volume
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Besides us, who else would be concerned about ejaculate volume? Why, fertility experts, of course. If ever in the vicinity of a large library you might want to dig out a fun article entitled “The semen of fertile men: statistical analysis of 1300 men,” by Aquiles J. Sombrero, MD et. al. and published in The Journal of Fertility and Sterility. The data were collected from an outfit that performs vasectomies. Prior to vasectomy each man was required to submit a specimen in a special container, on which was recorded the time of collection and the duration of abstinence prior to collection. The length of abstinence is probably the most critical factor, as it has been calculated that a man generates about 0.4 ml of seminal fluid for each day of abstinence. The mean volume recorded was 3.2 +- 1.4 ml, but some were really off the scale: one star produced 11 ml of fluid, more than three times the average. Another source, Reproduction and Sex (Swyer, 1954), opines “volumes up to 15 ml have been recorded,” though it doesn’t say where. No doubt there are some who claim to have seen larger deposits, but I suspect under close scientific scrutiny such claims don’t quite (heh-heh) measure up.
Arousal - Fastest Erection
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Erection speed is determined by many factors, such as fatigue, how much alcohol you’ve imbibed, the general health of the organ in question (you do include pubococcygeus curls in your daily exercise regimen, right?), and the degree of arousal. In Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) Kinsey records a few remarkable individuals who could achieve erection in as little as 3 seconds.
Arousal - Longest Sustained Erection
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Before the introduction of Viagra, men suffering from impotence often underwent surgery for penile implants, the simplest of which consists of two bendable, semi-rigid rods that are inserted in the penis through an incision. When you feel the situation demands an erection, you just bend you wazoo into an upright position (see photo), since what you basically have is a giant pipe cleaner. The chief drawback of this method is that you are left with a permanent erection, which can be something of an embarrassment in locker rooms and whatnot. Such surgery was pioneered in 1972, which means there are men waltzing around with boners lasting 27 years.
Non-surgical conditions of unusual erection durations are called priapism. This is the unfortunate result when blood is unable to drain as it would in a normally flaccid penis. Priapic erections can be caused by blood disorders, such as sickle-cell anemia or leukemia, but sometimes stem from an inexplicable application of stupidity on the part of its owner. A Guyana newspaper awhile back carried the story of one meatball who, wishing to prolong an upcoming rendezvous with his girlfriend, overdosed on cantarden, a drug used for putting horses to heat. Sure enough, the drug had its intended effect, but the man discovered, to his horror, that his penis had become painfully erect and refused to go down. After days of agony, he reluctantly sought medical assistance, hoping he could keep the whole thing confidential. Luck wasn’t with him, and when the word slipped out he soon became a laughingstock, nicknamed “staff sergeant” by the locals. I mean, talk about adding insult to injury. After three weeks of humiliation and misery he underwent surgery. Now the only problem is he can’t get it up. Ouch. Take lesson from this, folks, and leave the drug experimentation to the professionals
Arousal - Most Prevalent Position
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Arabs call it “the manner of serpents”. In Tuscany, it’s known as the “angelic position.” To us, it’s the “missionary position,” (erroneous, because in all likelihood missionaries had nothing to do with it–the term dates to the 1960s), where the woman lies down on her back with the male on top of her. Though some societies favor other positions (Polynesian cultures, for instance) for the majority of nations it accounts for 75% of all the positions used by married couples and a somewhat smaller percentage for unmarried. in America it’s especially popular, used exclusively by 85% of married couples (see Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, Little, Brown, and Company, 1994).
Promiscuity- Most Virgins Deflowered
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On his third voyage, in 1777, Captain Cook visited the Pacific island kingdom of Tonga, where he met King Fatafehi Paulah (reigned c. 1770-84), 36th of the Tu’i Tonga dynasty. A corpulent but husky octogenarian, the king claimed that it was his royal duty to deflower every native maiden. He said that he had never been with the same woman twice and was presently performing his appointed task 8-10 times a day, every day. Assuming he never wearied of his geis, and subtracting an arbitrary 65 days a year for illness and whatnot, he would have despoiled around 37,800 damsels during his reign.