Quote:
Originally Posted by
Spud_Boy
bro, spend more time with ur kids (sch holidays anyway)… can at least temp take away the attn & numb the pain in the heart..
anyway, the cliché ending words… 不在乎天长地久，只在乎成经拥有
Bro.. u r rite.. me on leave today… can take the chance to bring the kids out… boys cannot be made to stay at home… need to bring them out and play.. after all they need to be emotionally fulfilled too… it is a chance for me to rest and recover too… it is a time for healing…. Though painful… but i have to go through it… after all my family still need me…
Bros… the last chapter… have nt been a smooth week since i came back from business trip last week… on fri just end the meeting with boss for my refusal to entertain the clients for 3 consecutive nights and i was being marked by the senior management… seem that my year end appraisal was being affected… sigh.. have to say goodbye to my promotion le… Anyway… me on leave today… back to the story….
I am supposed to meet Yvonne on fri… after i am back from business trip but somehow i did not as i am emotionally nt ready to meet her yet… It is dangerous for 2 emotional people to meet as things will easily get out of hand…. I have been thinking alot since my business trip in Shanghai… Will there be any outcome between us… certainly the ans is NO…. will i be fair to my wife who i have vowed to spend my rest of my life with her… Again the ans is NO…. Will it be fair to Yvonne too who have a family of her own… NO…. it would be unfair to my kids too…. Many thoughts rushed to my mind and i know deeply in my heart.. that the only way to prevent more people from getting hurt is to withdraw asap ( 夜长梦多)……
After work on fri… i headed home for dinner and decided to ask my wife out for a walk to the nearby park… it have been at least 2 mths since we r out alone… always with kids… if nt we will busy with our own stuff…
Me: Dear can u pei me to the park…
Wife: Erm… not now can… wait for me till i finish my Korean Drama k…
Me: k… no hurry.. i will wait for u then… ( And so i waited for her while i pei my kids watch their Doraemon…
Wife: I am done… do u want to bring the kids out too…
Me: Nope.. just leave them with the maid… i just want to spend some quiet time with u….
Wife: K….
Soon we r at the park toking about our work… kids etc….
Me: Dear have u ever have any regrets abt marrying me?…
Wife: Nope… y.. ( She looked at me in my eyes….)
Me: At times i just want to find out how u feel ba….
Wife: K loh though we may have some disagreements at times… but i know that u will always give in to me mah… K.. no regrets… at least u dun fool around… ( This statement from her actually drawn me to deeper thoughts of guilt… true i dun fool around.. but emotionally i have already betrayed my wife… someone who have placed her happiness in my hands……)
There is a short pause after this…
Wife: Dear r u k… u sound troubled to me…
Me: No lah… perhaps it is due to work stress ba…
Wife: Sorry for taking u for granted at times… ( She smiled as she uttered this statement)
Me: It is k… it is my fault for nt being able to manage yr mood swings…
Wife: Thanks… dun think too much abt work k… i am stressed with my work too….
I really enjoyed the stroll with her in the park… Touching my wedding ring… i am prepared to end everything with Yvonne… That nite i do nt sleep well as i am thinking of how to bring the news to her without hurting her to the max ba….
Bros.. would like to share this song with u all…. Throughout this story i have never dedicated a song for her yet… ( What a sibei husband!)
This song was played during our wedding dinner… it is one of the songs which we loved….
趙詠華-最浪漫的事
Hope that u guys will like it….
Sat… 30/11/13 and she called me again…..
Yvonne: Any plans today?…
Me: Yup attending church service later…
Yvonne: Still the same church?… which service r u attending?…
Me: Yup… 5pm service…
Yvonne: Can i join u?… wife joining u?…
Me: Nope as she is tired… yup u can join me… Pick u up at 4.15pm.
Yvonne: C u then….
I then prepared my heart to meet her… Praying that God will give me the wisdom and strength for today meeting with her…. and above all a clear head and heart that i will nt give in to my emotions again…… It is raining on that day… and it chill my heart…. At times.. i dun even trust my own emotions again…. so fearful that i will just give in to my emotions… Any wrong move is irrevocable… from a simple hug… kiss…or even holding of hands can really lead to more things… that is y.. i have to guard my heart and thoughts seriously……
Otw to pick her up… i tuned in to Christian music… dun dare to tune in to any emotional songs anymore as i cant afford to be emotional at this pt of time and she was surprised that i actually tuned in to christian music……
During the service… i prepared my heart for the ending with Yvonne…. it is nt easy for me… having to struggle with the past… obligations… marriage vow…. i lay my heart before the cross and somehow it give me the peace and strength to go on………. Not forgetting that my church wedding is being held here and i am reminded of the marriage vow which i have taken… that i will cherish… love and honour my wife through the last days of our life……. All these thoughts pushed me on and somehow Yvonne can sense the deep turmoil in my heart……
Guys would like to share this music piece with u all….
Richard Clayderman - Mariage D’Amour
Hope that u guys will like it…
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tai_zi21
Bro thank you for yr songs… u know these songs seem to have a healing effect on me ba… kam sia…
Bros back to the last part of the story… sorry if i do nt write well or for any typo errors as this is the most difficult part to write ba… too much emotions flooding my heart….
The service finally ended and this scene really remind me of the break up with her which is abt 17 years ago….
Me: Where would u like to have yr dinner?…
Yvonne: Same old place ba… as i really miss the food here…
Me: K wait for me then and again i went to her favourite stall to q up for her Fried kway tiao…. ( Again this scene reminded me of the break up with her and my heart was filled with immense sorrows…. and everything will have to come to an end today….)
Soon we were having dinner…
Me: How is the taste?.. still the same as ever?…
Yvonne: Hmnn… nt the same taste anymore….
Me: It have been so many years… taste will change de… things will also change…..
There is a short pause after this statement…
Yvonne: But certain things remain unchanged abt u rite… u still attend the same church… still like the polo sweets….
Me: Yup… u r the one who bring me to this church… and my church wedding is being held here too…. This place have sentimental values to me ba…
Yvonne: True….. ( I can sense the sadness in her voice and i dun feel gd too)
Me: As for polo sweets… these sweets r with me during the times when i tried to quit smoking… depend on them to curb my craving for cig… that is y even till today even when there r different brands of sweets.. i still stick to this brand..
Yvonne: i know…..
After the dinner.. we headed off to east coast… our usual place whereby we can have a gd tok….. It is still raining…. and once again the cold rain chills my heart……..
We went to our usual place and decided to stay inside the car as it is still raining…. all the while i would on the christian music… while thinking of the rite words to use….
Yvonne: Do u have something to tell me?…..
Me: I have been thinking alot for the past few days……. and i know that it is no longer proper for us to meet again… at least for this period of time….
Yvonne: I knew the ans le… u r someone who lived by yr principles and conscience….. must have feel bad towards yr wife rite but that is what i loved abt u…. u r always someone faithful when it comes to relationships…
Me: Yup and i am really worried that i will end up hurting u even more… ( My emotions rise again….)
Yvonne: Thanks….. ( By this time.. her voice is choking with sadness too….)
Again there is a short pause after this statement….
Me: Do u know that i am really happy that i could have a chance to meet u again… i never expect myself to c u again….
Yvonne: Me too… that is y i did nt changed my mobile throughout the years hoping that u can contact me again….
There is a short pause again as i am trying my hardest to suppress my emotions….
Me: In life we r responsible for the choices we make… since we choose our spouse… we must be committed to our marriage….
Yvonne: Yup… but he did nt spare a thought for my feelings when he fool around outside… ( she is getting upset again)
Me: Have a tok with him again… if things still does nt work out… perhaps u have to think of divorce… but divorce is the last option…. no matter what… try to save this marriage first…
Yvonne: Will do…. dun feel that bad k… it is nt yr fault…. ( She said this statement while looking into my eyes….
Me: Sorry for nt being able to be with u at this pt of time when u r hurting the most…….
Yvonne: Can u hug me again as a friend……
Slowly we r in each other arms…. this is the last hug as we r tearing in each other arms…. unable to hold back my emotions again… i broke down and i cant seem to hold back my tears too….
Yvonne: Do u know that i am truly happy with u for the past few days when u took care of me but yet at the same time.. i know that u r also struggling with yrself…. but i feel really blessed to have u around when i am sick….
Me: No worries… i am just doing my part as a friend….
Yvonne: Whenever i think back of the old times with u… i feel warmed by yr love… u have always been someone who always care abt i feel… someone who put my feelings above yr own feelings ba…
Me: How u feel always matter alot to me….
Slowly and gently we withdraw from each other hug… as we r both too emotional already….
Me: And now i have to put my wife feelings above my own feelings le… cos she is my wife….
Yvonne: I understand…….. can we meet up again… will u change yr no again…
Me: Nope i wun change my no….Yup… the day when we can face each other with a ping chang xin will be the day when we can meet and catch up with each other again….. sorry……
Yvonne: Dun feel indebted to me… as i shared years ago….. whatever u own today is through yr own hard effort……
This statement really hit me hard…. she really know me well that she can easily point out my struggles well…..
Me: Thank you…
Yvonne: Promise me that u will love yr wife… i am sure that she will be a very blessed woman if u r able to love her as much as u feel for me…
Me: Yup i will….
Soon the conversation ended and i begin to sent her home… along the way we r both very quiet as we r both very deep in our thoughts…….
Guys i would like to share this song at this pt of time… as this song is the well description of my feelings…
Shin Seung Hoon - Invisble Love with english subtitles…
Hope that u guys will like it…
That nite after sending her home… i found myself driving aimlessly on the road… eventually i came to my old sch again…… Heading towards the main sch gate… the sight of the sch gate is too much for me to bear and once again i found my tears welling up in my eyes…. it is nt long before my mobile ring….
Fatty: Brother u k?.. wru now..
Me: Outside the sch gate…
Fatty: Brother wait for me.. i will come and meet u now….
After the phone call.. i cried again… at least there r some moments when i can cry ba… before my brother come… It did nt take long for fatty to arrive with his beer….
Fatty: Guess u must have tok to her already rite….
Me: Yup…
Fatty: Have a drink… he pass me a can of beer…
Me: Fatty.. i am tired…
Fatty: Time to let go le… this have been tormenting u for years already….
Me: Yup… i will try to…. c that mama shop… this place bring me back lots of memories…
Fatty: Yup those r the days… we would smoke there… sharing cig together… and even get caught for smoking together..
Me: Whahaha… yup… those r the days but this place also remind me of her… ( She brought the toothpaste from this mama shop for my cig wounds..)
Fatty: Brother… i know that u r trying yr best to be strong… no worries.. u can let out yr emotions if u need to… i wun laugh at u de… Keep that man pride aside today…
Me: Brother pei me to this place k….
I headed off in the direction of Yvonne old block…Both of us r quiet along the way… Fatty who know me well for years knew that i am deep in my thoughts and he just walked along with me….
Me: Ages since i dare to come here again… the old playground is gone already.. taken over by another new playground le….
Fatty: Of course lah.. things will change de… but our siong di qing will remain unchanged forever…
Me: Thanks for standing by me at this moment when i am weak….
Fatty: What r brothers for?…
I took a long look at her place and again the memories of the past seem to flood my heart again….
Me: Brother… i really found it difficult to let go of the past….
Fatty: I know that it is nt easy… but give yrself some time k….
Me: Y am i always so easily drawn by the past again….
Fatty: Cos that is u… my brother… u r someone who value kam cheng… very nian jiu person… that is y… our friendship can last for so many years mah… Dun think too much… have another can of beer…
Me: Thanks brother….
That nite.. fatty tried his best to cheer me up with his jokes… jokes abt the past…. and it really cheer me up….
Fatty..this song is for u….. and it is also for my brothers in this forum… bro simifly… bro taizi_21… bro ben…bro LTPGTD and bro Stup boy… sorry i am unable to list all the names of the bros who have supported me in this thread…… (Thank you for all the songs and advise given… these have helped me alot these few weeks… kam sia bro). Though we may be born in different era but i really feel a special bond with u guys.. come cheers a toast to our brotherhood!
英雄本色(A Better Tomorrow) 當年情-張國榮
Hoping that all of us would have a better tmr….
I would like to end this story with this song…
winter sonata ( from the beginning till now english subtitled )
Again this song would best describe my feelings at this pt of time……
Hope that u guys will like this two songs… cheers….
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nanafied
I really envy that you have this feelings for someone before or felt this way before, I’m only 20. And i really wish to have a relationship like yours.
Bro… cherish yr loved ones…. Love and honour her… even at the end of the day.. the relationship wun work out… at least u will have no regrets… as u have already done yr best le….
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nottyboyforever
Bro,
I really respect u and what u had done is the rightest thing to b done.
I can feel the pain. And if I’m in ur shoes, I don’t kno whether I can walk the way like u do or not.
I really respect u for ur courage to do the right thing.
Yvonne was lucky to have a chance to be with u but she is not lucky enough to be with u for the rest of her life.
Ur wife and kids are really lucky to have a husband/dad like u.
And last but not least, u r lucky to have a fri like Fatty too. He is really a true brother. Thicker than blood.
All my best wishes for u and ur family bro. Enjoy the moment. I’m sure Yvonne will nv b erased from ur heart, but God will give his blessing for u to have the best & most enjoyable life for u & ur family.
Cheers bro.
Thanks bro for yr best wishes.. best wishes to u too.. cheers bro..
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ben2011
Bro, for you this song….
The lyrics is swee la….good for you to listen…
我愿意退回原点 我愿意能听见你幸福一万年
我愿意走得很远 你今天后不会看见我的脸
我愿意忘记你留给我的爱情完结篇
我愿意看他带给你永恒的晴天
你也许听不见 我要你幸福一万年
I listened to it when i made my decision also….and like u i cried alone also in the car
Hahaaha…..its ok, i dont regret it today….
Bro the lyrics is indeed what i want to tell her…. specially these few parts:
我愿意退回原点 我愿意能听见你幸福一万年
我愿意走得很远 你今天后不会看见我的脸
你也许听不见 我要你幸福一万年
Nothing else matter more than her happiness ba……
Thanks brother for this song.. as it really have a healing effect on me…..
Appreciate it…
Brother… this is our song….
爱情的箭
飞出了视线
算算时间
我们也爱过几年
因为有你
我还有二分之一的从前
那是我心里
永远的纪念
第一个梦
第一个句点
第一个人给了我思念的期限
我只会说再见
我只能说再见
可是我看不清楚这世界
我会快乐一点
要自己撑过明天
我愿意退回原点
我愿意能听见你幸福一万年
我愿意走得很远
你今天后不会看见我的脸
我愿意忘记你留给我的爱情完结篇
我愿意看他带给你永远的晴天
你也许听不见
我要你幸福一万年
A very well written song… indeed this song touches my heart… Every lyric is what i want to tell her ba… brother… well done.. thanks for this song… i feel better after listening to it…