I didn’t plan to go over to Jasmine’s place over the last weekend as I was going for my Covid vaccination. Maybe I am weak or something, but I was hit with the whole slew of side effects within a few hours of taking the jab early on Saturday morning.
It was just as well as she did text me, telling me that she would be trashing things out with her husband after my repeated advice to her. Incidentally, he moved back in on Sunday.
That was the last text I got from Jasmine updating me on the situation anyway. I decided not to bother her and give her some space and time to work things out.
I didn’t have the energy to do so anyway. I spent nearly the entire weekend, and the first 2 days of the week in bed with massive headache and bodyaches and chills, only getting up to puke whatever I ate due to the gastric discomfort.
In any case, I guess some things are not meant to be. Perhaps Jasmine and I were destined not to be together, despite how well we were able to click. Looking back at my past relationships, it seemed to start in a similar way, getting close to each other, harmless flirting, a connection.
Like the often overused phrase, if it’s meant to be, she will be yours. I guess this time around, it wasn’t meant to be. If I loved her, I should let her go, if she comes back, I would never let her go again.
Which brings me back to Ann. Our short break apart from each other probably gave both of us the chance to properly evaluate what we wanted. For me, I kind of figured out that I didn’t want to be a convenient option. Yes, it was comfortable, I didn’t have to worry about expenses, a roof over my head, or anything in general. Other than her daughters of course. But in all likelihood, the chances of a real relationship with them was not on the cards. I couldn’t handle Ann, that was a fact. While I could quietly just be her sex toy at home, it wasn’t really something I could see myself doing for the next few years. After all, we already had a couple of good years. But we had yet to sit down properly to trash things out about our future, if there even was one. I dropped her a text and we agreed to meet on the weekend to trash things out.
Hilariously, I was buying cigarettes at 7-11 at my workplace again when I went back to clear some stuff. I began to wonder if Felicia was stalking me as she was there as well. We had coffee at the Starbucks as the dine-in restrictions had been lifted. As usual, she was lamenting about her sex life, or the lack of it. I casually mentioned certain dating apps that she could possibly find a suitable partner, but I guess she was looking for some familiarity, rather than go through the whole process of getting to know someone new. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, physically and mentally. Someone who was familiar with my current situation suggested just having a rebound to get my mind off things, but that would be a little hard, considering that I still had not shaved, and Felicia preferred hairless cocks.
She did try turning me on while I drove her back, but as usual, there was little to no reaction from me as she fondled my flaccid penis.
I was considering dropping by Jasmine’s place just to see if she was fine, since I was so nearby anyway, but I managed to get my thoughts sorted and headed back home.
There was only 2 more days to the weekend. Perhaps I would get some closure with Ann, or perhaps we would carry on with new terms. Only time would tell.
I didn’t plan to go over to Jasmine’s place over the last weekend as I was going for my Covid vaccination. Maybe I am weak or something, but I was hit with the whole slew of side effects within a few hours of taking the jab early on Saturday morning.
It was just as well as she did text me, telling me that she would be trashing things out with her husband after my repeated advice to her. Incidentally, he moved back in on Sunday.
That was the last text I got from Jasmine updating me on the situation anyway. I decided not to bother her and give her some space and time to work things out.
I didn’t have the energy to do so anyway. I spent nearly the entire weekend, and the first 2 days of the week in bed with massive headache and bodyaches and chills, only getting up to puke whatever I ate due to the gastric discomfort.
In any case, I guess some things are not meant to be. Perhaps Jasmine and I were destined not to be together, despite how well we were able to click. Looking back at my past relationships, it seemed to start in a similar way, getting close to each other, harmless flirting, a connection.
Like the often overused phrase, if it’s meant to be, she will be yours. I guess this time around, it wasn’t meant to be. If I loved her, I should let her go, if she comes back, I would never let her go again.
Which brings me back to Ann. Our short break apart from each other probably gave both of us the chance to properly evaluate what we wanted. For me, I kind of figured out that I didn’t want to be a convenient option. Yes, it was comfortable, I didn’t have to worry about expenses, a roof over my head, or anything in general. Other than her daughters of course. But in all likelihood, the chances of a real relationship with them was not on the cards. I couldn’t handle Ann, that was a fact. While I could quietly just be her sex toy at home, it wasn’t really something I could see myself doing for the next few years. After all, we already had a couple of good years. But we had yet to sit down properly to trash things out about our future, if there even was one. I dropped her a text and we agreed to meet on the weekend to trash things out.
Hilariously, I was buying cigarettes at 7-11 at my workplace again when I went back to clear some stuff. I began to wonder if Felicia was stalking me as she was there as well. We had coffee at the Starbucks as the dine-in restrictions had been lifted. As usual, she was lamenting about her sex life, or the lack of it. I casually mentioned certain dating apps that she could possibly find a suitable partner, but I guess she was looking for some familiarity, rather than go through the whole process of getting to know someone new. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, physically and mentally. Someone who was familiar with my current situation suggested just having a rebound to get my mind off things, but that would be a little hard, considering that I still had not shaved, and Felicia preferred hairless cocks.
She did try turning me on while I drove her back, but as usual, there was little to no reaction from me as she fondled my flaccid penis.
I was considering dropping by Jasmine’s place just to see if she was fine, since I was so nearby anyway, but I managed to get my thoughts sorted and headed back home.
There was only 2 more days to the weekend. Perhaps I would get some closure with Ann, or perhaps we would carry on with new terms. Only time would tell.
I didn’t have a concrete plan on what time to meet Ann that weekend.
Alicia did text on Friday night to ask me if I wanted to cycle but I told her I would be discussing things with her mom.
She did have one thing to say about that though.
A: You deserve much better than my mom, seriously. I don’t know why you’re still hanging around after everything that happened. Perhaps her words swayed you, or perhaps the comfort and convenience of this lifestyle is appealing, but I think you deserve to pursue happiness for yourself now. Mom is not looking to settle down anymore, she’s looking to have fun, yet wants to have someone at home as well. I don’t think it’s fair to you.
I didn’t know how exactly to reply to her but said I was good to cycle at night on Saturday despite the outcome of the discussion with Ann.
I also came clean with Felicia, that I had been writing in the forum. She wasn’t surprised honestly, I guess having been part of the forum in the past. Or perhaps she was still hanging around somewhere. I told her that some bros had PM me to pass them her contact. She laughed at that, and said no, she’d start a new thread if she wanted to find someone from the forum. I asked why she still wanted me then, even though it had been so long, and I had purposely antagonized her by not shaving. She said it was the familiarity, and the fact that she knew if I wanted to, I would do my best to pleasure her. But obviously I had some other issues to solve at the moment.
I headed over on Saturday morning and found Alan and Amanda doing yoga in the living room. Surprisingly, Alicia and Ann weren’t home.
Amanda told me that Ann didn’t come home last night, and that it was pretty obvious what she had been doing. Alan merely rolled his eyes. He had accepted everything that was going on around him, and wisely chose to ignore it.
I hung around for an hour or so before texting Ann to see where she was, or if she was even coming home. Her response wasn’t surprising though.
A: Oh shit. You’re there already? I didn’t think you’d be so early.
Me: I can wait.
A: Well… I’m not done yet. Maybe I’ll see you in the afternoon?
Me: Sure.
I decided to have lunch with Alan and Amanda and we headed to Katong Shopping Centre for their favourite chicken rice. Alicia joined us for lunch. She was dressed in gym attire. Seems like Jasmine was really a good influence in her life.
After lunch, we headed back and chilled. Ann still hadn’t showed up, and was generally unresponsive to my texts.
I had dinner with them, ordering their favourite pasta in. I wondered if it was a sign. I was eating all their favourite foods. Perhaps they knew it would be the last time I was eating with them?
By 9pm, Ann had not returned yet and Alicia was getting pretty irritated as we were supposed to go cycling.
A: She’s probably out on another of her sexcations. Been happening quite often after you took a break.
Me: Oh:
A: Can we just go cycling? Forget about her.
Me: Let me text her again.
Again, I received no reply from Ann, despite already arranging to meet to talk about our situation.
In the end, we waited till 10pm before heading out. I could see Alicia was still irritated as she was cycling faster than usual, even I was struggling a little to catch up. We headed to TMCR then Loyang, Pasir Ris, Punggol, Seletar. It was pretty obvious where she was bringing me.
We chilled at Rowers’ Bay for awhile.
Me: Why are we here?
A: You know why.
Me: I don’t?
She seemed pretty busy on her phone.
Me: We’re in the North.
A: And?
Me: Jasmine stays in the North.
A: And?
Me: Why did we cycle all the way here?
A: Cos I wanna meet my cycling buddy?
Me: Oh. Shit.
I wondered if I should leave. Somehow, Alicia could read my mind.
A: Don’t you dare move.
Five minutes later, a familiar person appeared.
A: Hello.
I was rooted to the spot. I couldn’t move. Didn’t we agree not to meet up or contact each other outside of work?
Jasmine came straight up to me and wrapped her arms around me.
Me: Shit. What’s going on.
Alicia got on her bike.
A: Ok. Have fun! I’m going to Woodlands Waterfront.
Me: Err…
We moved towards a bench nearby and sat down. Jasmine lay on my shoulder. My heart was beating exceptionally fast, making me wonder if it was a side effect of the vaccine I took a week before.
J: It’s been a long week.
Me: Yes it has.
J: You don’t mind right?
Me: Mind what?
J: I just wanted to chill with you. Get some hugs.
Me: Erm. You want hugs?
J: Yes. Hugs. Not fucks.
Me: So I’m your hug buddy now?
J: At this point of time, yes. Like right now I mean.
Me: Why couldn’t you tell me yourself?
J: We aren’t supposed to contact each other unless it’s about work remember?
Me: Where is your husband?
J: At home? Sleeping.
Me: And you snuck out?
J: No. I told him I’m going cycling. He can come if he wants. But he’s a lazy ass. So he won’t.
Me: Right.
I kissed her forehead.
J: Hey!
Me: What?
J: Hugs only! Nothing else!
And yet as she said that, her hands wandered to my crotch.
Me: Erm.
J: Just checking if you have any reaction.
Me: Funny.
J: I don’t know how to explain this, but you make me feel really happy when I’m with you. But my husband is back and we’re supposed to work things out.
Me: So you really shouldn’t be here right now.
J: Yeah. But I can’t. I was chatting with Alicia about this. She said you wouldn’t mind.
Me: I wouldn’t mind what?
J: Being around for me when I need you.
Me: Oh.
J: Do you?
Me: I don’t.
J: Are you back with your sugar mommy yet?
Me: Nope. We were supposed to talk about it today but she never showed.
J: Are you ok with no more intimacy with me other than hugs?
Me: Can I say no?
J: You can. But I think you won’t.
Me: Why not?
J: Because you’re too nice.
Me: I want to have sex with you.
J: Sure.
Me: What?
J: You know I want it too. But it would defeat the purpose of working things out with my husband.
Me: You’re mind fucking me.
J: Of course I am.
Me: Are you happy?
J: You mean right now?
Me: I mean overall.
J: I’m not. But I need to work things out. At least give him a chance to make amends.
Me: What about his kid and other family?
J: They can’t come over now anyway.
Me: Is he going to leave them?
J: He didn’t say.
Me: Are you willing to share?
J: Yes.
Me: Really?
J: I don’t have a choice right? The kid is not at fault. Nether is his lover. He made a choice.
Me: True. So how do I fit into this?
J: I don’t really know. But I’m happy being with you.
Me: And you’re going to use cycling as an excuse to meet me to hug?
J: Yup. Best excuse I can think of now.
Me: When we’re all sweaty?
J: Of course I don’t mind going to hotels just to hug. But don’t you think the temptation will be too great?
Me: I think I can control myself.
She slid her hand down my cycling tights.
J: How about now?
I stirred a little. But otherwise managed to control myself.
J: You didn’t shave.
Me: Nope.
J: I thought you always shaved. Unless you’re not getting any action.
I decided to test her too by sliding my hand into her tights.
J: Hey!
Me: You shaved.
J: Of course I did.
Me: Been getting alot of action?
J: Everyday.
I don’t know if I was supposed to feel hurt or what, he was her husband after all.
J: You’re going to leave your hand there?
Me: I was going to finger you…
J: But?
Me: But I probably shouldn’t. Since all you want are hugs.
J: Well, maybe you should remove your hand?
I did.
J: Good boy.
She patted my head.
J: Are you really ok with this?
Me: No?
J: But you’re still willing to do it?
Me: It makes you happy.
J: You’re such a weirdo.
Me: I know.
J: Are you even going to get back with her?
Me: I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m even what she wants. The things she said before and the things that actually happened don’t really match up.
J: Talk to Alicia. She told me some things.
Me: Like?
J: Things. Just talk to her.
Me: Ok.
J: Anyway, I really came out to cycle and get hugs. Shall we meet Alicia at Woodlands?
Me: Sure.
We broke off from our embrace and got on our bikes.
I didn’t know why I was doing this. It wasn’t helpful at all. It’s like I never changed, and probably would never would. All I wanted to do was make others happy, possibly at the expense of my own happiness.
How long could I last?
I didn’t have a concrete plan on what time to meet Ann that weekend.
Alicia did text on Friday night to ask me if I wanted to cycle but I told her I would be discussing things with her mom.
She did have one thing to say about that though.
A: You deserve much better than my mom, seriously. I don’t know why you’re still hanging around after everything that happened. Perhaps her words swayed you, or perhaps the comfort and convenience of this lifestyle is appealing, but I think you deserve to pursue happiness for yourself now. Mom is not looking to settle down anymore, she’s looking to have fun, yet wants to have someone at home as well. I don’t think it’s fair to you.
I didn’t know how exactly to reply to her but said I was good to cycle at night on Saturday despite the outcome of the discussion with Ann.
I also came clean with Felicia, that I had been writing in the forum. She wasn’t surprised honestly, I guess having been part of the forum in the past. Or perhaps she was still hanging around somewhere. I told her that some bros had PM me to pass them her contact. She laughed at that, and said no, she’d start a new thread if she wanted to find someone from the forum. I asked why she still wanted me then, even though it had been so long, and I had purposely antagonized her by not shaving. She said it was the familiarity, and the fact that she knew if I wanted to, I would do my best to pleasure her. But obviously I had some other issues to solve at the moment.
I headed over on Saturday morning and found Alan and Amanda doing yoga in the living room. Surprisingly, Alicia and Ann weren’t home.
Amanda told me that Ann didn’t come home last night, and that it was pretty obvious what she had been doing. Alan merely rolled his eyes. He had accepted everything that was going on around him, and wisely chose to ignore it.
I hung around for an hour or so before texting Ann to see where she was, or if she was even coming home. Her response wasn’t surprising though.
A: Oh shit. You’re there already? I didn’t think you’d be so early.
Me: I can wait.
A: Well… I’m not done yet. Maybe I’ll see you in the afternoon?
Me: Sure.
I decided to have lunch with Alan and Amanda and we headed to Katong Shopping Centre for their favourite chicken rice. Alicia joined us for lunch. She was dressed in gym attire. Seems like Jasmine was really a good influence in her life.
After lunch, we headed back and chilled. Ann still hadn’t showed up, and was generally unresponsive to my texts.
I had dinner with them, ordering their favourite pasta in. I wondered if it was a sign. I was eating all their favourite foods. Perhaps they knew it would be the last time I was eating with them?
By 9pm, Ann had not returned yet and Alicia was getting pretty irritated as we were supposed to go cycling.
A: She’s probably out on another of her sexcations. Been happening quite often after you took a break.
Me: Oh:
A: Can we just go cycling? Forget about her.
Me: Let me text her again.
Again, I received no reply from Ann, despite already arranging to meet to talk about our situation.
In the end, we waited till 10pm before heading out. I could see Alicia was still irritated as she was cycling faster than usual, even I was struggling a little to catch up. We headed to TMCR then Loyang, Pasir Ris, Punggol, Seletar. It was pretty obvious where she was bringing me.
We chilled at Rowers’ Bay for awhile.
Me: Why are we here?
A: You know why.
Me: I don’t?
She seemed pretty busy on her phone.
Me: We’re in the North.
A: And?
Me: Jasmine stays in the North.
A: And?
Me: Why did we cycle all the way here?
A: Cos I wanna meet my cycling buddy?
Me: Oh. Shit.
I wondered if I should leave. Somehow, Alicia could read my mind.
A: Don’t you dare move.
Five minutes later, a familiar person appeared.
A: Hello.
I was rooted to the spot. I couldn’t move. Didn’t we agree not to meet up or contact each other outside of work?
Jasmine came straight up to me and wrapped her arms around me.
Me: Shit. What’s going on.
Alicia got on her bike.
A: Ok. Have fun! I’m going to Woodlands Waterfront.
Me: Err…
We moved towards a bench nearby and sat down. Jasmine lay on my shoulder. My heart was beating exceptionally fast, making me wonder if it was a side effect of the vaccine I took a week before.
J: It’s been a long week.
Me: Yes it has.
J: You don’t mind right?
Me: Mind what?
J: I just wanted to chill with you. Get some hugs.
Me: Erm. You want hugs?
J: Yes. Hugs. Not fucks.
Me: So I’m your hug buddy now?
J: At this point of time, yes. Like right now I mean.
Me: Why couldn’t you tell me yourself?
J: We aren’t supposed to contact each other unless it’s about work remember?
Me: Where is your husband?
J: At home? Sleeping.
Me: And you snuck out?
J: No. I told him I’m going cycling. He can come if he wants. But he’s a lazy ass. So he won’t.
Me: Right.
I kissed her forehead.
J: Hey!
Me: What?
J: Hugs only! Nothing else!
And yet as she said that, her hands wandered to my crotch.
Me: Erm.
J: Just checking if you have any reaction.
Me: Funny.
J: I don’t know how to explain this, but you make me feel really happy when I’m with you. But my husband is back and we’re supposed to work things out.
Me: So you really shouldn’t be here right now.
J: Yeah. But I can’t. I was chatting with Alicia about this. She said you wouldn’t mind.
Me: I wouldn’t mind what?
J: Being around for me when I need you.
Me: Oh.
J: Do you?
Me: I don’t.
J: Are you back with your sugar mommy yet?
Me: Nope. We were supposed to talk about it today but she never showed.
J: Are you ok with no more intimacy with me other than hugs?
Me: Can I say no?
J: You can. But I think you won’t.
Me: Why not?
J: Because you’re too nice.
Me: I want to have sex with you.
J: Sure.
Me: What?
J: You know I want it too. But it would defeat the purpose of working things out with my husband.
Me: You’re mind fucking me.
J: Of course I am.
Me: Are you happy?
J: You mean right now?
Me: I mean overall.
J: I’m not. But I need to work things out. At least give him a chance to make amends.
Me: What about his kid and other family?
J: They can’t come over now anyway.
Me: Is he going to leave them?
J: He didn’t say.
Me: Are you willing to share?
J: Yes.
Me: Really?
J: I don’t have a choice right? The kid is not at fault. Nether is his lover. He made a choice.
Me: True. So how do I fit into this?
J: I don’t really know. But I’m happy being with you.
Me: And you’re going to use cycling as an excuse to meet me to hug?
J: Yup. Best excuse I can think of now.
Me: When we’re all sweaty?
J: Of course I don’t mind going to hotels just to hug. But don’t you think the temptation will be too great?
Me: I think I can control myself.
She slid her hand down my cycling tights.
J: How about now?
I stirred a little. But otherwise managed to control myself.
J: You didn’t shave.
Me: Nope.
J: I thought you always shaved. Unless you’re not getting any action.
I decided to test her too by sliding my hand into her tights.
J: Hey!
Me: You shaved.
J: Of course I did.
Me: Been getting alot of action?
J: Everyday.
I don’t know if I was supposed to feel hurt or what, he was her husband after all.
J: You’re going to leave your hand there?
Me: I was going to finger you…
J: But?
Me: But I probably shouldn’t. Since all you want are hugs.
J: Well, maybe you should remove your hand?
I did.
J: Good boy.
She patted my head.
J: Are you really ok with this?
Me: No?
J: But you’re still willing to do it?
Me: It makes you happy.
J: You’re such a weirdo.
Me: I know.
J: Are you even going to get back with her?
Me: I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m even what she wants. The things she said before and the things that actually happened don’t really match up.
J: Talk to Alicia. She told me some things.
Me: Like?
J: Things. Just talk to her.
Me: Ok.
J: Anyway, I really came out to cycle and get hugs. Shall we meet Alicia at Woodlands?
Me: Sure.
We broke off from our embrace and got on our bikes.
I didn’t know why I was doing this. It wasn’t helpful at all. It’s like I never changed, and probably would never would. All I wanted to do was make others happy, possibly at the expense of my own happiness.
How long could I last?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EnigmaofSorrow
After reading the story in its entirety, I’m wondering if anyone else thinks Jasmine doesn’t deserve TS either.
Wow. Guest appearance by Bro EoS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EnigmaofSorrow
After reading the story in its entirety, I’m wondering if anyone else thinks Jasmine doesn’t deserve TS either.
Wow. Guest appearance by Bro EoS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Andrea90
Shrouded bro so did you settled your issue with ann and j?
It’s in limbo at the moment I guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Andrea90
Shrouded bro so did you settled your issue with ann and j?
It’s in limbo at the moment I guess.
We managed to catch up with Alicia at Woodlands Waterfront before heading back. We bade Jasmine goodbye before continuing our journey. I was super tempted to get off the bike and hug her but decided against it. The weather wasn’t looking good and it wouldn’t be ideal if we got caught in the rain on the way back.
We didn’t take TMCR for the return journey, just heading down Sengkang towards Hougang then down Ubi before turning at Upper Changi Road. We were really lucky as the second we entered the gate, the rain started coming down hard. Ann’s car still wasn’t around so we figured she was still at her sexcation.
A: Stay over?
Me: Nah.
A: My bed’s available.
Me: Right.
A: There’s always the guest room.
Me: I’ll wait for awhile before heading back.
A: Suit yourself.
Alicia went to take a shower. In reality, I merely wanted to see if Ann would come back while I was still there.
The past couple of months had been an eye opener. From being a technically jobless ex-Army regular who spent his time as a private hire driver, I suddenly had a proper job at a rather advanced age. Of course, getting to know more people out of my army circles as well.
On hindsight, I should probably have taken Ann as what she was all those years ago, an extended one night stand. But somehow I guess loneliness after returning from my long overseas deployment drove me towards her and made me accept whatever she was offering.
Honestly I would probably say I had a part to play in her behaviour. I couldn’t satisfy her fully and it probably led to her still seeking others outside of the relationship. Even if it was a pattern of behaviour that was deeply rooted in her past, perhaps I could have done more. Of course my interactions with her daughters didn’t help the situation much. Everything that I did, was probably a misguided attempt at trying to make everyone happy.
Sometimes I wonder how different it would be if I had met Jasmine under different circumstances. But as seeing how life works, none of this would have happened if I never met Ann in the first place.
Alicia came back down after her shower to find me smoking outside. She frowned at me as she stood by the door.
A: You know maybe the cigarettes are affecting your sexual performance.
Me: Perhaps.
A: Do you love mom?
That was a trick question. I was sure it was.
Me: I don’t know.
A: What is love to you?
Me: I really don’t know.
A: I think it’s something none of us will ever know. It’s not so simple.
Me: Yeah.
A: What about Jasmine?
Me: What about her?
A: What do you feel about her?
She purposely avoided the use of the word ’love'.
Me: I think she’s a nice person.
I swear Alicia was rolling her eyes.
A: Nice is subjective.
Me: Agreed.
A: She’s nice to me. As a friend and as some sort of older sister figure.
Me: I sense a but somewhere.
A: I think you can tell she’s damaged goods.
Me: And who isn’t? Even you are damaged.
A: Hey!
Me: It’s the truth.
A: Yeah well.
Me: You’re really close to her now.
A: If I wasn’t around, I’m sure she’d be talking to you instead.
Me: Oh?
A: She has few friends. Her relationship with her parents isn’t the best.
Me: I know.
A: She has feelings for you.
Me: I think I figured that out too.
A: But she’s married. She owes it to herself and her husband to work something out. That’s her character.
Me: I see.
A: I don’t know how you conned her into having sex with you.
Me: I didn’t.
A: Haha. That was a jibe. You don’t have to con anyone. Somehow, you just being there for others is enough.
Me: Right.
A: Think about it. All the ladies you’ve been with. Don’t you think the physical aspect happened out of convenience?
Me: What do you mean?
A: Women want a listening ear, sound advice even if they don’t take it, comforting hugs when they’re down. Stuff like that. We’re vulnerable creatures.
Me: That I know.
A: So it’s convenient.
Me: Ah.
A: You think mom would have slept with you if you were purely looking for sex?
Me: Yes?
A: Oh please. You aren’t that great in bed seriously. Even as a one night stand, I suspect you wouldn’t do that well.
Me: Funny.
A: But you provide other things. Things we want. Really.
Me: So… your mom…
A: If you want my honest opinion, don’t try too hard. She has a condition. It’s been diagnosed. Either you accept it, and do everything on her terms, not yours, or you move on.
Me: And Jasmine?
A: I’m damn sure if her husband never returned, you probably would have a very good chance with her.
Me: Really?
A: You gave her more than what her husband ever did in such a short time. The intangibles I mean. But whether you guys would last is another thing. It’s good her husband is back. She will have to make a decision now.
Me: I see.
A: And as for you…
Me: What about me?
A: Stop living for others. Live for yourself. But that’s just you. You seem to find happiness in the happiness of others. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But it’s eating you up inside. One day you won’t be able to handle it.
Me: Are you sure you’re a medical student?
A: Huh?
Me: This sounds so… psychology-psychiatry.
A: Haha. It’s just my observations and conclusions. You can take it with a pinch of salt.
I left after finishing my stick. I guess I wouldn’t get to see Ann this weekend anyway to talk about things.
Furthermore, the new development with Jasmine was really unexpected.
We managed to catch up with Alicia at Woodlands Waterfront before heading back. We bade Jasmine goodbye before continuing our journey. I was super tempted to get off the bike and hug her but decided against it. The weather wasn’t looking good and it wouldn’t be ideal if we got caught in the rain on the way back.
We didn’t take TMCR for the return journey, just heading down Sengkang towards Hougang then down Ubi before turning at Upper Changi Road. We were really lucky as the second we entered the gate, the rain started coming down hard. Ann’s car still wasn’t around so we figured she was still at her sexcation.
A: Stay over?
Me: Nah.
A: My bed’s available.
Me: Right.
A: There’s always the guest room.
Me: I’ll wait for awhile before heading back.
A: Suit yourself.
Alicia went to take a shower. In reality, I merely wanted to see if Ann would come back while I was still there.
The past couple of months had been an eye opener. From being a technically jobless ex-Army regular who spent his time as a private hire driver, I suddenly had a proper job at a rather advanced age. Of course, getting to know more people out of my army circles as well.
On hindsight, I should probably have taken Ann as what she was all those years ago, an extended one night stand. But somehow I guess loneliness after returning from my long overseas deployment drove me towards her and made me accept whatever she was offering.
Honestly I would probably say I had a part to play in her behaviour. I couldn’t satisfy her fully and it probably led to her still seeking others outside of the relationship. Even if it was a pattern of behaviour that was deeply rooted in her past, perhaps I could have done more. Of course my interactions with her daughters didn’t help the situation much. Everything that I did, was probably a misguided attempt at trying to make everyone happy.
Sometimes I wonder how different it would be if I had met Jasmine under different circumstances. But as seeing how life works, none of this would have happened if I never met Ann in the first place.
Alicia came back down after her shower to find me smoking outside. She frowned at me as she stood by the door.
A: You know maybe the cigarettes are affecting your sexual performance.
Me: Perhaps.
A: Do you love mom?
That was a trick question. I was sure it was.
Me: I don’t know.
A: What is love to you?
Me: I really don’t know.
A: I think it’s something none of us will ever know. It’s not so simple.
Me: Yeah.
A: What about Jasmine?
Me: What about her?
A: What do you feel about her?
She purposely avoided the use of the word ’love'.
Me: I think she’s a nice person.
I swear Alicia was rolling her eyes.
A: Nice is subjective.
Me: Agreed.
A: She’s nice to me. As a friend and as some sort of older sister figure.
Me: I sense a but somewhere.
A: I think you can tell she’s damaged goods.
Me: And who isn’t? Even you are damaged.
A: Hey!
Me: It’s the truth.
A: Yeah well.
Me: You’re really close to her now.
A: If I wasn’t around, I’m sure she’d be talking to you instead.
Me: Oh?
A: She has few friends. Her relationship with her parents isn’t the best.
Me: I know.
A: She has feelings for you.
Me: I think I figured that out too.
A: But she’s married. She owes it to herself and her husband to work something out. That’s her character.
Me: I see.
A: I don’t know how you conned her into having sex with you.
Me: I didn’t.
A: Haha. That was a jibe. You don’t have to con anyone. Somehow, you just being there for others is enough.
Me: Right.
A: Think about it. All the ladies you’ve been with. Don’t you think the physical aspect happened out of convenience?
Me: What do you mean?
A: Women want a listening ear, sound advice even if they don’t take it, comforting hugs when they’re down. Stuff like that. We’re vulnerable creatures.
Me: That I know.
A: So it’s convenient.
Me: Ah.
A: You think mom would have slept with you if you were purely looking for sex?
Me: Yes?
A: Oh please. You aren’t that great in bed seriously. Even as a one night stand, I suspect you wouldn’t do that well.
Me: Funny.
A: But you provide other things. Things we want. Really.
Me: So… your mom…
A: If you want my honest opinion, don’t try too hard. She has a condition. It’s been diagnosed. Either you accept it, and do everything on her terms, not yours, or you move on.
Me: And Jasmine?
A: I’m damn sure if her husband never returned, you probably would have a very good chance with her.
Me: Really?
A: You gave her more than what her husband ever did in such a short time. The intangibles I mean. But whether you guys would last is another thing. It’s good her husband is back. She will have to make a decision now.
Me: I see.
A: And as for you…
Me: What about me?
A: Stop living for others. Live for yourself. But that’s just you. You seem to find happiness in the happiness of others. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But it’s eating you up inside. One day you won’t be able to handle it.
Me: Are you sure you’re a medical student?
A: Huh?
Me: This sounds so… psychology-psychiatry.
A: Haha. It’s just my observations and conclusions. You can take it with a pinch of salt.
I left after finishing my stick. I guess I wouldn’t get to see Ann this weekend anyway to talk about things.
Furthermore, the new development with Jasmine was really unexpected.