There were two gay guys living together. One of them lacked chest
hair and it seemed to become a real problem for him.
So, one day he decided to visit the doctor to see why he had no
chest hair and if there was anything he could do about it.
Well, the doctor said there was nothing wrong with the guy, and
really the only thing he could do to try and stimulate hair
growth was to smother Vaseline all over his chest daily.
The guy was elated. He went home and immediately smothered his
chest in Vaseline.
When his partner came home and jumped into bed with him, he felt
the Vaseline and asked, “What in the hell are you doing?”
“The doctor said if I put Vaseline on my chest I might be able to
grow some hair”
“You idiot,” said his partner, “Think about it. If that were true
you’d have a pony tail coming out of your ass by now
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
“I’m afraid I don’t have a husband” she replies
“O.K. do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife “No, no boyfriend either.”
“Do you have a partner then?”
“No, I’m unattached, I’ll be having my baby on my own.”
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. “You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black”
“Well,” replies the girl. “I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black.”
“Oh, I’m very sorry,” says the midwife, “that’s really none of my business and I’m sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair.”
“Well yes,” the girl again replies, “you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the midwife repeats, “that’s really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes.”
“Well yes,” continues the girl, “I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice.”
At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims,
“Well thank fuck for that !”
“What do you mean?” says the midwife, shocked.
“Well,” says the girl extremely relieved, “I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!”
A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy’s lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, “I hope you don’t mind but I really do need to pee.”
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, “OK. Why don’t you go behind this hedge.”
She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, “My God Mary … have you changed your sex?”
“No,” she replies. “I’ve changed my mind, I’m having a shit instead.”
(Son) : Why is making love so enjoyable.
(Father) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!
S : Why do women enjoy sex more than man
F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.
S: Why do women hate it when they get raped .
F: It is like when you are walking on the street,someone else come over and dig your nose, do you like it ??
S: Why woman cannot have sex when they are having menstruation?
F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it ??
S: Why man do not like to wear condoms when they are making love.
F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.
S: Why are making love carried out in private?
F: Will you dig you nose in front of your class? Stupid!
S: What is an orgasm ?
F:The same as sneezing. but the the other way round
S: Is it true that women love big dicks ?
F: Ever tried picking your nose with your thumb ?
S: What’s anal sex?
F: Picking your mouth
ARE YOU DIGGING ENOUGH ?
Questions: “Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex?”
Answer: “They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure“
Serioursly? i kana minuse points for posting stupid jokes? REALLY? If my jokes are stupid you are more stupid to read and minuse my points! And whats more you have no balls coz you zapp me and dont want to leave your nick! HAHA who sounds more stupid now! ); AWWWW!! you are my joke of the day. Just because you say my jokes are stupid to you and i stop posting because of you then yes i am stupid, but no i am not gona do that coz i know many bros out there enjoys my joke, so to bad for you coz you’ll have to see my thread all the time on adult sex discussion.
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s, discussing why they were there. The first dog, a poodle, told his woeful tale.
“My owners bought the great new sports car with leather seats. They took me for a ride in it one day, and I was so excited, I couldn’t help myself. I wet all over the backseat. I’m here to be put down.” The other two dogs nodded sympatheticly, then the second, a Kelpie, explained his situation.
“A brand new Persian rug had just been placed in the loungeroom, and it was very expensive. My owners made a big fuss of it, when it came. Then, once when I was in the room, I had an incredible urge to roll all over it. So I did, and ended up getting quite a bit of my fur over the mat. My owners were very annoyed, and sent me here to be put to sleep.” The other two dogs nodded, and the first dog asked the third, a German Shepard, what he was there for.
“My owner has this habit of cleaning the house in the nude, and once when she was cleaning under the sofa, I just couldn’t help myself. I jumped on and had the ride of my life.” The other dogs tut-tutted.
“So you’re here to be put down too?” he asked. The Shepard shook his head.
“No, just to get my nails clipped!
Yes i know my jokes are stupid, but i love telling them because stupid jokes are the funniest
There was a guy who owned a whorehouse and on one particular day all
of his women happened to get the flu and had called in sick.
Not wanting to lose any business that day, he thought up a solution
and went to the local sex shop to purchase inflatable women. He put
one in each room and then dimmed all the lights so no one would notice.
Not long after he opened, a man walked in and ordered six beers and a hooker.
The man gave him his six beers and a key to one of the rooms. The man went
upstairs but not long after he returned with what remained of his beer and sat
down to drink it by himself.
The bartender, worried, went over to ask what had happened. The man told his
story, “Well sir, I got on her and was pounding away and she was letting out
these tiny little squeaking noises and everything was good. Then I moved over
and bit her nipple, when all of a sudden she let out this really loud fart
and flew out the window!!”
I am just a 22 year old girl, so i may complain alot so please please bare with me okay!
! I will try my very very best to have more stupid jokes coming!
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him….
“You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!”
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
“Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!”
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said,
“Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!”
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “Remember that blow job I promised you?”
“Well, here it comes!”
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, “Mummy, what are they doing?” The mother hesitates then quickly replies, “Ummm they are making cakes.”
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, “Making cakes.”
The next day the girl says to her mother, “Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?” Shocked, the mother asks, “How do you know?”
She says, “Because I licked the icing off the sofa.”
Dont ever lie to your kids LoL!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
babyckh
Doggie style…the paw nails will poke the woman’s waist if it is not trimmed..
Yes bro! that is the point of the joke haha!