Quote:
Originally Posted by
thaivisitor
I’m surprise at your observations and conclusions, considering you are also one who have a thai tirak.
Anyway, I’m not doubting bro Free’s story but I always take it with a pinch of salt.
KNN, gone are the days whereby a guy actually goes to see a girl’s family to seek approval for marriage. Whether it is thailand or SG, it’s the same. The guy and the girl already decide, and it is only “fomality”. The girl brings the guy back to “show” them who she is with, not to seek approval. You mean to say if grandma or anybody doesn’t approve of Free, the relationship is off? Please, spare me lah….
KNN both of them when decided to be with each other have already been slepping with each other, you think the girl so stupide if her marriage requires permission?
For my current case, definitely it is not a case of going to seek permission. You are right, it is more to show who I am and also for me to be assured that what she told me, is the truth (or a least seems to be). Because of her past, she felt she had to do that to assure me that she is for real. Staying in the house and interacting with the family/relatives and neighbours for a few days sure beats staying in an off-site hotel somewhere and visiting a couple of hrs a day. Enough opportunities to fish out anything that is fishy.
However, for Dancer’s case, it may be so, and for Rain’s case, it is 100% so. Yet the best part is Rain’s family are city folks, not in the countryside. In fact Rain told me before I met with them that if her parents dun like me, nothing is ever going to start, and it has happened once to her already. They disapproved cos that guy seemed to not like her kid and they sensed it. Whereas I fell in love with her son, so to speak, and his feelings were mutual. That got the approval stamp from them. For R’s case dun think needed as well. For Dancer’s classmate, no idea at all, but mum already like me since she met me 2 yrs ago, so problem is irrelevant here,
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
There are still some friends who dun seem to understand that she has cut off her past, never to go back. I have made it clear to her that if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers, and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. Else I can also accept them as my friends. In fact I just met one today and visited another with her in BKK. This situation - no compromise from me. It is her job to inform these friends that her hp no. is now confidential.
Actually I was even more strict, if not meaner than that. I actually said that " if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers (and mine as well), and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. If she cannot let go of these inconsiderate friends inspite of their continuing to create trouble for us, then they must be more important to her and I will as a result cut everyone off, INCLUDING her. But if they can understand and co=operate, I will accept them into my circle of friends and not Duu Tuuk (look down at) them at all". Everyone has a past that only they can do something about - cling to it, or let go of it. Film and I are chosing to let go of ours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thaivisitor
I’m surprise at your observations and conclusions, considering you are also one who have a thai tirak.
Sorry Bro TV, I dun understand what you meant?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
Actually I was even more strict, if not meaner than that. I actually said that " if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers (and mine as well), and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. If she cannot let go of these inconsiderate friends inspite of their continuing to create trouble for us, then they must be more important to her and I will as a result cut everyone off, INCLUDING her. But if they can understand and co=operate, I will accept them into my circle of friends and not Duu Tuuk (look down at) them at all". Everyone has a past that only they can do something about - cling to it, or let go of it. Film and I are chosing to let go of ours.
The problem with the thais are they are always very informative and gossiping is part and parcel of their life. So it’s difficult for your girl to totally cut off all her friends. Just put yourself in her position, if you’re alone without any friends how would you feel? Of course those bad friends shouldn’t contact at all but if they meant no harm, I think it’s okay cos dun tell me that you dun have a bad friend at all. I think we are mature enough to think and consider so not matter how you prevent also no use, it’s the heart that counts. So just “Jai Yen Yen” over this issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bangkok Master
Sorry Bro TV, I dun understand what you meant?
I think it’s a compliment to you for being observant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bangkok Master
The problem with the thais are they are always very informative and gossiping is part and parcel of their life. So it’s difficult for your girl to totally cut off all her friends. Just put yourself in her position, if you’re alone without any friends how would you feel? Of course those bad friends shouldn’t contact at all but if they meant no harm, I think it’s okay cos dun tell me that you dun have a bad friend at all. I think we are mature enough to think and consider so not matter how you prevent also no use, it’s the heart that counts. So just “Jai Yen Yen” over this issue.
I think you got me wrong. I fully understand the TG’s need to have friends to chitchat, go have fun with, etc. And I have no intention to cut her off from her frends. If anything, I worry about whether she has enough “real” friends who will give her support in times of needs. Her friends have often wanted her around for many reasons, mostly her neutral stand amongst the different groups of gals she know, and these groups may not be exactly cool with one another. With her around, they feel safe that there would be no trouble cos they will give her a certain amount of respect and not create problems with other groups. I have seen (when we re together) how she sometimes worries when she knows 2 conflicting groups are going to be at a certain place at the same time and she has rejected one (even both) invitation to join them. Frankly, I dun like it but that’s the way things are and I have learnt to accept it. At least she is seen as leader or the “big & sensible sister” desipte her usually being amongst the youngest. From her, I get a pretty good idea of how many TGs do tend to gather in cliques, irregardless of who they are or what they do. Even decent gals get into fights sometimes. Must be the effect of alcohol, I think.
I am just glad she now has a great chance to make a whole new set of friends in her school, and she tells me about some of her new friends. As such I think it is reasonable for her to be more wary of “friends” who continually give her trouble.
I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once some is retired, they do go around giving out that person’s new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can. It is the few wayward “friends” who don’t seem to understand what confidentiality means that worry us. To be fair we need to do our part to inform these friends and let them understand that the situation is different and she has no wish to receive unwelcomed calls and they should not help to make things worse. I think that is fair requests and if these so-called friends cannot even accomodate for whatever wierd reasons, it is easier to just cut them out, since they are in the small minority (maybe 1 out of 10, if not 20).
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MachoDevilX
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bangkok Master
Sorry Bro TV, I dun understand what you meant?
I think it’s a compliment to you for being observant.
I believe TV was telling BM that gals who seek parents permission no longer exist today, and that BM should know better since he himself has a thai tirak.
My own personal perpective is that there are still exceptions, though few. I have personally experienced at least 1. I am sure that are others around.
All the other gals I know/dated DO seek their parents’ (or key elders’) endorsement for their with their chosen boyfriend when they become serious and are thinking of making the relationship permanent. Why? I guess it is only right and normal to do so. As I guy, I do the same myself. Haven’t had the opportunity to meet one who just couldn’t be bothered what her parents think. Would it be interesting to meet one? Nah, my love will “kill” me - I scared.
Taa tam dtua eng mai tuuk, kao gor dtong sia jai. Tam mai dai, pror waa rak kao jang leuuy
Of couse the TG will prepare the ground 1st, telling them more about the bf and usually start initial contacts via telephone calls, so that by the time the actual visits take place, both parties have a fairly good idea of the other. ALL of them did that for me, and if there are any kids involved, they are similarly prepared too.
Bro BM, I believe the above is what you mean too, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once some is retired, they do go around giving out that person’s new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can. It is the few wayward “friends” who don’t seem to understand what confidentiality means that worry us. To be fair we need to do our part to inform these friends and let them understand that the situation is different and she has no wish to receive unwelcomed calls and they should not help to make things worse. I think that is fair requests and if these so-called friends cannot even accomodate for whatever wierd reasons, it is easier to just cut them out, since they are in the small minority (maybe 1 out of 10, if not 20).
One thing about thai gals (including sg gals). They value their friends’ opinions regarding bfs very much. Don’t be surprised; you only came in 3rd in her heart. Her family members will come first, second her friends and then you.
There’s a saying: If you can’t fight them, join them.
Good luck!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bkkguy
One thing about thai gals (including sg gals). They value their friends’ opinions regarding bfs very much. Don’t be surprised; you only came in 3rd in her heart. Her family members will come first, second her friends and then you.
There’s a saying: If you can’t fight them, join them.
Good luck!!
Generally for everyday affairs, it is damn true, if cannot accept, stay away from TGs. Only when it comes to serious matters, especially those concerning her future, long-term happiness will her friends take 3rd position. Family members or bf 1st, depends. Anyway no need to insist on being 1st all the time lah. Not win-win. One thing that seems to be clear in my case, though. I think she draws a line between before and after marriage. Bf has less priviledges/status than husband
. Fair to me though.
So far, good enough is enough.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once
some
is retired, they
do go
around giving out that person’s new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can
sorry, critical typo-error. Must correct. Should be:
“I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once
someone
is retired, they
DON’T GO
around giving out that person’s new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can”
"
Original Post
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