Quote:
Originally Posted by
thaivisitor
As far as cheonging is concerned, there are no raw nerves in my body, it’s too seasoned. But I had to “speak out” when I see your posts which does not implies the truth and project a totally different image of yourself.
Now your reply is so much different from you earlier post. Take a look at what you wrote and the implication it projects.
“Ultimately the man has to decide whether he is willing to run the risk of hurting his beloved wife (I am assuming she still is his beloved), for the woman normally has a 6th-sense about such things, especially if it continues over a period of time.
I chose one way, others may go the other
, Right or wrong, I dun care to say, for it is the individual’s choice.”
You are clearly telling bros that if they cheong, they run the risk of hurting their wives since their wives will eventually know since they have the “6th sense”. Then you put it that it is their choice but as for you, you chose one way (presumbly not to cheong) while others may go the other (presumbly to cheong).
Isn’t it obvious that you are trying to project that you DON’T cheong? Of course you can also now qualify your posts that it was not meant to be read that way. What else is new?
Like I said, I’m not trying to discredit you in anyway, just to let you realised that we must be truthful to ourselves and not dream or visualise the saints that we are not. You seemed to be projecting to the forum of how such “goody goody” you are which in this world is not possible for anyone. You seemed to project in the forum of how hard you work towards your relationship and that all things seemed perfect.
Bro, relationships must start with truths not concealed facts. Reality towards oneself, one’s surrounding, one’s life before affecting another. There are so many flaws in your impending relationship that because you project a different image to others, so much so that you also see yourself in that image. As such, you are not able to see the flaws that will harm your relationship.
thaivisitor
U are entitled to see things the way u want to see. I have no idea why u are reacting this way - attacking specific portions of my post instead of seeing things in the context of the entirety. I can only conclude I really had accidentally hit an unknown raw nerve somewhere.
I have never claimed to be a goody 2 shoes but I stand by my words (backed by my actions - at least since January) that I will not make active efforts to cheong when I am in a committed r/s. So far I am happy with my own results as I have not touched another woman since my tirak and I re-connected end January and I am not actively seeking opportunities to do so. If anything I am trying to avoid temptations that came my way, and I hope I can be strong enough to avoid them. I got a tough one on my hand now and if I can bypass this temptation, I am confident I will pass most temptations. Those I faced at HY are no where near this one I faced now - SYT who is not even an FL/WL.
I described what I tried to do, and I never said I have never failed. Nevertheless I will continue to try. For each time I failed to resist temptation I am putting what I have build up with my tirak at risk. That is my problem which I alone must grabble with. That is my reality.
I am sure you deal with it in a different way, or perhaps you are so lucky u dun face this risk. Your reality is obviously different from mine. Good for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
When was the last time I touched another woman? It was in January and even then, at a time when I was not in a committed r/s with her then.
Quote:
So far I am happy with my own results as I have not touched another woman since my tirak and I re-connected end January and I am not actively seeking opportunities to do so.
You were not committed in a r/s in January? You only re-connected with your tirak end-January?
Wow! If that was the case, what was your answer when I queried you with regards to the WLs you took in Hatyai in January? You said eventually you didn’t do anything with them because you thought of your tirak and felt guilty. But that is not the point.
You did not hit on any nerves of mine, raw or cooked. I have no agenda against you. On the contrary. What I want to bring across to you my friend, is that you might be living in the world that you dreamt up. Although it good to have hopes and dreams, but don’t live in it. Live in reality.
You are just starting on this journey, you have not walked this path before. You have not, and are not, doing the things that will bring your relationship towards success. Believe me, I know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
dejavu
No offence friend…just the KP side of me and naturally curious; you can choose to ignore my Q below.
since you ascribe yourself as a global citizen, then why trod the path and restrict yourself to an ‘undesirable’ selection when the world is at your beckon? Ain’t there more choices out there that are deemed socially more de facto and accepted? Did you give yourself a chance to sample the others?
Before I get blown away by the impending rebuttal(s), let me qualify myself. I assume, and I don’t suppose I’m very far off from any culture regarding this aspect, that a long-term relationship with a WL is viewed negatively by the majority and deemed as ‘undesirable’.
Cheers and as always, to each his own and good luck.
Well, I did have a few TGs to choose from and all but one was an active FL in their younger days. All the rest were Uni grads too. I had already known her for 1+ year as a friend anyway but was never a customer in the physical sense, as I was attached to another TG (Dancer). When I met her face-to-face again in BKK she was already out of the trade and was pondering what to do with her life. All she knew was she dun want to go back again. At that time I had just broken off with another TG, Rain. She helped me to get over my pain as a good friend and was there for me yet again. This time, our 1+ friendship was allowed to grow into love cos I was no longer attached. That we had been good platonic friends in the past played a key role in shaping how we see each other, for we had been each other’s confidant.
When I had to choose, I chose her as she was the one whose character matches mine and also meets my needs most. That she “won” over the rest is to me a credit to her. Even today, as I meet others on the Internet, educated, pretty and all, she still can stand on her own. True, some standards bars have been raised and she knows it, but she also recognizes that she will be a more “capable” woman in the eyes of society as she learns new skills and reaches for higher grounds. I have not regreted picking her.
For sure she is not a WL/FL today, not in SG nor in BKK. I see her as another ordinary TG today. Her past is over, just as mine is. Its been a while since she left that behind. If anything she has on her own cut off all but 3 friends who were with her in the old days. One is sadly still doing it in BKK (bf left her, got 3 daughters/1 mother to feed), another in Bahrain (got blur/slow {if I may add lazy} husband and 1 kid to feed), while the 3rd has too quitted and is now with her husband in Taiwan. These 2 remaining friends do not attempt to tempt her to go back to join them. I have met them and I am comfortable with them. I am now sure she has cut off her past.
She is now going thru her beauty & hair dressing diploma course, and she is going to sign up for her distance learning vocational college end this month. I am please she is making efforts (on her own) to pursue what she had let go of in the past due to mis-guidance and mischief.
If anything, she serves as sort of an example to some of my close brothers’ tiraks are leaving the WL line and understand what can possibly become of their lives in the future. Not that they must do the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thaivisitor
You were not committed in a r/s in January? You only re-connected with your tirak end-January?
Wow! If that was the case, what was your answer when I queried you with regards to the WLs you took in Hatyai in January? You said eventually you didn’t do anything with them because you thought of your tirak and felt guilty. But that is not the point.
You did not hit on any nerves of mine, raw or cooked. I have no agenda against you. On the contrary. What I want to bring across to you my friend, is that you might be living in the world that you dreamt up. Although it good to have hopes and dreams, but don’t live in it. Live in reality.
You are just starting on this journey, you have not walked this path before. You have not, and are not, doing the things that will bring your relationship towards success. Believe me, I know.
Whatever u want to say. I can’t stop ur twisting & turning and nit-picking of words. As far as I am concerned, I was separated from my tirak in 1st week December 2004 till January 2005. I said I did not do anything with that particular WL in HY in January cos she was rude and turned me off. And I stated very clearly I did have a good time with the one FL I met at Paragon Disco the next day. I did not say anything at all about abstaining cos I was thinking of my tirak, cos at that time, I have not even decided I will let her come back to me. (Why do u put words that I did not say in my mouth?) I made that decision to let her return only the last week of January 2005 and that was why I went to see her in early Feb. My story had not changed one iota. Instead, what u read or interpreted seemed to have. I wonder why? Perhaps u have not really read…. but you tot u had…..
Go back and read all my replies again, and in their entirety
, please. I have only one version of my story to tell. And for heaven’s sake dun go nit-picking on small little words. Read the context.
You said u know… do u really know me? We haven’t even spend anything close to a week toghether! Much less her? And what my history is like? Think again. I have always added that unless we are close to the person and his partner whom we are trying to advise, let us not forget that our advice is always from afar. Let’s not expect that just because we have walked a particular route, everyone else’s journeys are going to follow the same path.
To end. may I quote my dear bro Hitman once again. He best expresses how the future can be, if we make our choices
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Hitman, 13-06-2003
Bro Free, although I do not know you, but I want you to know that you have my blessings and best wishes….. here’s a quote I’d like to share with you and brothers here…
The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created–created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.
- - John Schaar
Persevere when you’ve found true love, and there will be light at the end of the tunnel…
Well, I have not reached the end of my tunnel. But I know now that the light I am now seeing is NOT that of an oncoming train
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thaivisitor
Well, he has to “hide” or conceal this truth or fact from his family, that’s for sure. But then again, who knows his family will continue to pamper his tirak the way he has so far described, if eventhough they know her story. That he will have a bigger surprise when mum comes to accept and love her?
I am sorry. How I will deal with this if/when the time comes is an internal matter within my family. I have already though thru it in early 2003, way before I started. Thanks for your concern but well, as I said, that;s my private matter.
U sure u are not getting rather personal here?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
Whatever u want to say.
Well, I have not reached the end of my tunnel. But I know now that the light I am now seeing is NOT that of an oncoming train
I sense a little agression in your tone
and have taken a little bit of time in writing my answers
and at the same time exposing some facts and incidents
which may embarrassed you or put you in bad light.
But I’ve decided not to post it as I do not benefit from doing so,
but rather posting it will cause me to have a sleepness night.
Then I thought I’ll PM to you.
But what the hell for? I won’t be able to sleep too.
If you think I do not know the path you are heading, so be it.
If you think I do not know the mistakes you are making, so be it.
If you think a third party cannot see better and you yourself knows best, so be it.
If you end up well I do not gain. If you end up bad, I do not lose.
So why the hell should I bother?
My best wishes to you.
thaivisitor
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thaivisitor
If you end up well I do not gain. If you end up bad, I do not lose.
So why the hell should I bother?
My best wishes to you.
thaivisitor
I suggest that Time will be the best judge. Time alone will tell. This pilgrimage I am travelling, I am already on my way. Turning back dun make sense, for where I come from is worse. Going forward makes a lot more sense, as at least the future seems brighter. So I go on. No need to prove anything, cos there is no need to, nor is there anything to prove. That is a no-win situation for all. Have said time and again, this is my pilgrimage and Alone I must walk my journey, whether I reap the benefits or face the consequences, depends on what I make out of it. No one else is to be blamed should I fail, but myself cos I chose to put my foot on the LDTR path. My ending is in sight, but I still need to cross the bridge. After that, yet another journey begins. maybe an even more challenging one.
But it has been nice to meet some co-travellers on the way, all with similar yet different objectives, parallel yet different paths. Perhaps the only similarity we can claim to have is that our target is a TG, from different walks of life, & heck, even different religion (would u believe that - in Buddhist LOS?). And we are learning to look out for each other, take care of each other. And be there for the afflicted should one of us fall. This tiny little band of co-travellers, I am grateful to have met. It has been a honor to know u all. Pîi Sà Pái sends her loving regards too, and hopes to see u guys (with ur tiraks??) this Christmas?
The LDTR journey has taken on a different dimension now, at least for some of us
After so long….. how come these tirak stories thread no ending one???
Try to write less and do more.
Proof us wrong by your actions and not ‘words’.
End result is the most important part and not the beginning stage of a
relationship.
From what i see and read in this thread, your problems are far from over.
More ‘good years’ to come- quote from our Ex PM GOH
Hope you get what i mean.
BTW, don’t anyhow point your arrow at me hor.
I’ve no time to give long reply back.
Just bought 2 shophouses near my house and now busy setting up my very
own commercial laundry business for my thai wife to run.
My job is to sit down and collect money.
In thailand, you must sometimes acts a bit ‘blur’ and smart in order to survive
here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bkkguy
After so long….. how come these tirak stories thread no ending one???
Try to write less and do more.
Proof us wrong by your actions and not ‘words’.
End result is the most important part and not the beginning stage of a
relationship.
From what i see and read in this thread, your problems are far from over.
More ‘good years’ to come- quote from our Ex PM GOH
Hope you get what i mean.
BTW, don’t anyhow point your arrow at me hor.
I’ve no time to give long reply back.
Just bought 2 shophouses near my house and now busy setting up my very own commercial laundry business for my thai wife to run.
My job is to sit down and collect money.
In thailand, you must sometimes acts a bit ‘blur’ and smart in order to survive here.
With this post, perhaps u have finally stated your true position & it does not seemed to be to help those who are on a LDTR journey, but to tell the world u are living in LOS with your thai family, and in economic terms, seen as successful. That is good for you, but that is irrelevant in this thread.
The main purpose of this read is to share with & learn from others who are on parallel paths, experiences, lessons pertaining to how how we can develop the r/s and built it up for a lasting family life together. People with experiences/success who are not in contempt about the very path they are taken are invited to contribute that we may learn. The purpose is far higher than posting some FRs on who one had cheonged today. If anything, cheonging is something we consciously try to avoid, though most of us will give in to temptations once in a blue moon. I know I am not alone, for there are real flesh and blood fellow pilgrims on this journey. That we are actively there for each other, to love, to encourage and to “whack” (if needed) is living proof that this small but fiercely determined lot is alive and kicking, even growing.
So what have we learn from u since? Have you shared about yr journey - the joys you knew and how you felt, the mistakes u have made & how u rescind them, the failures you had experienced and how u recovered and of course the success you enjoy & how you got there? Not a little bit.
For someone who post about his successes like you just did above, your very attitude towards a r/s with a Thai lady appalls me. Would you not be magnanimous enuf to share your personal journey with the “younger” ones like us, because you have already tasted the fruits and you want others to experience similar joys? If you are given the chance to repeat what you had done all over again, would you still walk the same path (or at least same direction) and marry this same Thai woman you now call your wife? And raise this family you now have? Your honest answer, I am sure would shed some light on your current attitude towards the thought of having a love relationship with a Thai woman & perhaps, on marrying one.
Success you have had, w/o a shadow of doubt. But I can’t help feeling that your measure of it is only the economic yardstick. I hope I am wrong, I really do, for I believe there is much more to love & life than just sitting back and let others work, that one may collect money. But then, to each his own.
The Long Distance Tirak Relationship is a process, taking on new shapes and direction as it progresses, perhaps taking stops (or even u-turns) here and there occasionally. What the ending is to be, is defined by the pilgrim and his partner themselves, not any other bystander. Whatever I tell my yougner brothers on this journey, I always have made it clear - my advice is always from afar, cos I am not the one walking their personal journey. I share my joys and my failures with them, and I seek solace from them when I hit failures and disappointments. Never will I judge them on their journeys for they are not mine.
Like all Boy-Ger Relationships. some LDTRs dun take off, or fell off halfway, others moved thru several phases and some finally morphed into new journey called “Post-Marriage” (or its equivalent - Post-Cohabitation). Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who never had to struggle thru the LDTR phase, and u met this wonderful ger and both did not have to prepare for the future (usually economically). Hey presto, next thing u know, u are are married couple & lived life happily in LOS ever after. I salute you if that was how it happened. U got to be the luckiest guy on earth.
BTW, what makes u think I am not doing anything or at least not much? I doubt you know much of what I do or not do, cos we dun ever know each other! If I were to write all that she and I had done for and with each other, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else! Let alone prepare for the next lap.
Finally, Bros who are serious about their r/s with their TGs
are welcome to join us, but only if your intention is to build up ur r/s with the one u love and are prepared to be told where u had gone wrong, if we have enough reasons to feel that something was wrong. If you only want to hear goodies even when things had gone wrong, u will not hear it from this group of TG Lovers. But we tell it with love and compassion, not smirk or spite. We also are trying to learn the thai language for effective communication with the TG and her loved ones. If you expect to see us discussing in depth and sharing FRs about who is the hottest WL/FL u will be very disappointed, if not even turned away. That need is already best met by this forum. If anything, we will not be cheonging together like it was THE thing to do. For those who had to release themselves for obvious reasons (distance apart), we understand & accept for it is NOT done with gusto and pride. Rather it is with a kind of a regret that there is no better way. If anyone would like to join this grp of men, pm me. But know that you will be “screened”, attitude-wise.
Perhaps this group a practical reflection of walking this LDTR in flesh and blood terms, not just in a cyberspace thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
free
With this post, perhaps u have finally stated your true position & it does not seemed to be to help those who are on a LDTR journey, but to tell the world u are living in LOS with your thai family, and in economic terms, seen as successful. That is good for you, but that is irrelevant in this thread.
The main purpose of this read is to share with & learn from others who are on parallel paths, experiences, lessons pertaining to how how we can develop the r/s and built it up for a lasting family life together. People with experiences/success who are not in contempt about the very path they are taken are invited to contribute that we may learn. The purpose is far higher than posting some FRs on who one had cheonged today. If anything, cheonging is something we consciously try to avoid, though most of us will give in to temptations once in a blue moon. I know I am not alone, for there are real flesh and blood fellow pilgrims on this journey. That we are actively there for each other, to love, to encourage and to “whack” (if needed) is living proof that this small but fiercely determined lot is alive and kicking, even growing.
So what have we learn from u since? Have you shared about yr journey - the joys you knew and how you felt, the mistakes u have made & how u rescind them, the failures you had experienced and how u recovered and of course the success you enjoy & how you got there? Not a little bit.
For someone who post about his successes like you just did above, your very attitude towards a r/s with a Thai lady appalls me. Would you not be magnanimous enuf to share your personal journey with the “younger” ones like us, because you have already tasted the fruits and you want others to experience similar joys? If you are given the chance to repeat what you had done all over again, would you still walk the same path (or at least same direction) and marry this same Thai woman you now call your wife? And raise this family you now have? Your honest answer, I am sure would shed some light on your current attitude towards the thought of having a love relationship with a Thai woman & perhaps, on marrying one.
Success you have had, w/o a shadow of doubt. But I can’t help feeling that your measure of it is only the economic yardstick. I hope I am wrong, I really do, for I believe there is much more to love & life than just sitting back and let others work, that one may collect money. But then, to each his own.
The Long Distance Tirak Relationship is a process, taking on new shapes and direction as it progresses, perhaps taking stops (or even u-turns) here and there occasionally. What the ending is to be, is defined by the pilgrim and his partner themselves, not any other bystander. Whatever I tell my yougner brothers on this journey, I always have made it clear - my advice is always from afar, cos I am not the one walking their personal journey. I share my joys and my failures with them, and I seek solace from them when I hit failures and disappointments. Never will I judge them on their journeys for they are not mine.
Like all Boy-Ger Relationships. some LDTRs dun take off, or fell off halfway, others moved thru several phases and some finally morphed into new journey called “Post-Marriage” (or its equivalent - Post-Cohabitation). Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who never had to struggle thru the LDTR phase, and u met this wonderful ger and both did not have to prepare for the future (usually economically). Hey presto, next thing u know, u are are married couple & lived life happily in LOS ever after. I salute you if that was how it happened. U got to be the luckiest guy on earth.
BTW, what makes u think I am not doing anything or at least not much? I doubt you know much of what I do or not do, cos we dun ever know each other! If I were to write all that she and I had done for and with each other, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else! Let alone prepare for the next lap.
Finally, Bros who are serious about their r/s with their TGs
are welcome to join us, but only if your intention is to build up ur r/s with the one u love and are prepared to be told where u had gone wrong, if we have enough reasons to feel that something was wrong. If you only want to hear goodies even when things had gone wrong, u will not hear it from this group of TG Lovers. But we tell it with love and compassion, not smirk or spite. We also are trying to learn the thai language for effective communication with the TG and her loved ones. If you expect to see us discussing in depth and sharing FRs about who is the hottest WL/FL u will be very disappointed, if not even turned away. That need is already best met by this forum. If anything, we will not be cheonging together like it was THE thing to do. For those who had to release themselves for obvious reasons (distance apart), we understand & accept for it is NOT done with gusto and pride. Rather it is with a kind of a regret that there is no better way. If anyone would like to join this grp of men, pm me. But know that you will be “screened”, attitude-wise.
Perhaps this group a practical reflection of walking this LDTR in flesh and blood terms, not just in a cyberspace thread
Hmm….Are you ‘getting personal’ with me too? I hope not.
I’m just politely asking you to WRITE less and DO more. That’s all.
From your long winded replied, i see that you’re repeating the same mistake again.*sigh*
In LOS , i believed many s’poreon bros here had far greater & exciting stories than yours. The problem is : DO YOU LISTEN TO THEM ? No point to ask ppls to give you advice on TGR and the other receiving party like yourself is so ’ stubborn’ headed.
You want to have a successful life in LOS, you got to LISTEN.
Spend more time in doing than in writing. This will surely do you good.
In thailand, we don’t go around boasting/writing our past love story anyhow in the open forum like you. But we do share/help fellow bros on information’s like thai visa, thai PR, ROM in thailand/s’pore, buying LOS property etc… etc……
Besides brag about your personal ’love affairs’ with so many tiraks and not forgetting 1 failed marriage and a bad father to your boys.
Seriously!! What have you done/ contributed to help those bros who are seeking information’s here? Try posting more helpful informations about thailand for a change, instead of the USUAL stuffs. I believed many will appreciate your effort for that.
Maybe in real life, you don’t have many friends to talk to. That’s why you are pouring out your love ‘feeling’ here. I also noticed that when nobody posts anything in this tirak thread, you tend to jump over to ‘geyland thread’ to start your same old story again. Why like that one???
Btw, why started this ’tirak thread’ in Sammy forum in the first place at all. Don’t forget that this is after all still a porn forum. Are you sharing thai FL contacts here or what? I’m afraid you maybe sending the wrong message here? Or you have really nowhere else to brag about your personal love stories. That’s why you came here.With so many interesting tirak stories of yours, maybe you got some lobangs to share with our bros here. hehe!!
Do you dare to create a similar thread in Sammy boy coffee shop Delphi forum ? Let see what the general public think about your love stories.
Like i said in my earlier posting. I’m NOT so free like you to post love story here everyday.I have many things to do, like taking care of my children which i believe you are less fortunate to have. Maybe you should try harder to be a good father. Don’t always think about YOUR own feelings and YOUR own future. Stop fooling around for ONCE and seriously give a thought for YOUR own children back in s’pore.
I fully understand the ‘feeling’ about a 45 over old man like yourself facing a 20 plus thai girlfriend over here in thailand.Where got time to think about your own children, tio bo.
Happy bonking !!
P/S : Don’t bother to reply back cuz i will be out having fun with my children.
Cheers!!