As she continue to massage me, I couldnt take it anymore…Dont get me wrg…Her massage was top notch but it was time for SEX!!!…Ask her wats wrg & she whisper the counter tell her not do proceed wz “luv making” as they suspect there might be unusual suspects in de spa!!!…
They dont want her to take any risk…It could be AV but they are not sure…So better be safe then solli…Hearing tt straight away made my cock shrunk!!!…I was like shld i dress up & get the hell out of there!!???…But her strong massage made me stay…I was only naked but didnt do anything wat…Why shld i fled…I put up a brave front (but seriously i was damm scared man!!)…
She then whisper " you think i dont want to do it wz u ah"…I was like OK!!..She goes on saying better play safe this time…Thinkin back when she was massaging me b4 de golden question, i did hear a guy talkin loudly outside my door but i just brush it aside thinkin must be a customer talkin to the WL…
My cock has by now shrunk to beyond belief…The thght of maybe hv to call my wife to bail me out from the police station has chg the movie title to “Honey I Shrunk My Cock” instead of kids!!!!…I was preparing to be interview by AV..As i didnt do any “deeds” yet, i was pretty confident i can get away scott free…Most to most kena held back for few hrs…
If i were to cabut straight away helter skelter, the AV sure will also stop me from goin away…Just swallow my pride & brace for the “storm”…But aft abt 15mins of pure massage & with a shrunken cock, nothin happen!!!…Outside seems to be quiet..My gal went outside for a while to recce…She came back with a smile..
She says the guy has gone aldy…False alarm for AV raid…Trying to not show my utter delight, i just say ok like no big deal but i was praying & thankin all de gods i can think of…Then my gal show me a hand gesture…It was her right hand like holding sthing & moving it up & down!!…I knw rite away the universal sign of masturbating!!!!…But i acted like a blur sotong coz i wat to hear her say it from her mouth!!!…
Finally she cant take my “dumbness” at her hand signal, she move closer to me & say the magical words…in cantonese..“thong lei ta fei keiiii”…For those dont ustand cantopop it means “i pcc for u ok”…As only left abt 5mins due to “AV”,tts all she can offer me…I ask her safe meh & she nodded…But this time my cock has awoken from its slumber slowly…I was thinkin wth…At least still get to erupt out my “lava” fm my balls…Told her ok dear…
B4 applyin lotion onto my cock, she planted a kiss on my cockhead just like the princess kissing the frog b4 turnin into a prince!!!…Then she slowly pour the lotion on her hand & then grab my cock gently…Slowly but surely my cock has woken up…Told her to do it slowly…Pure ecstasy!!!…Then ask her one hand to fondle my balls so i can “erupt my volcano krakatau”…Only 5 mins mind u…
As i was nearing eruption, i ask my gal to pick up her pace of pcc…Feels so steam when a gal wz her hand lace wz lotion holding my cock & moving it up & down…By now, my right hand was between her legs rubbing her her pussy but she still had my pants on…But i try to dig my way in as far as i can…
I was counting down to my cummin..5..4..3..2..1..“XXX i’m cumming faster faster”…and wz my command she grip harder & shake faster until i cum!!!..The first shot “landed” on my stomach (always find it hard to shoot further)…I was so shiok to see my cock being grip by her & her hand is drip wz my cum…She wipe away my cum fm my stomach & ask me to bath…Quickly bath & tcss wz her abit..She said sorry for not “fulfilling my sexual fantasy” wz her today & promise to fulfill it next time barring any AV scare!!!!…Told her no prob & i will be back…If not for the sex but also for her good massage…Auto pay her $50 which she accepted wzout hesitation…
This is the certainly the experience i will never ever forget…Both ecstasy & horror within 45 mins…When i made my way out, i thght to myself no more MP for me…Had a brush wz “death” & being able to stay “alive” to tell my story is surely a sign from abv to quit this scene…But now after 2 weeks, i got the itch to visit my gal again!!!…Sure i go or not????…Go massage only also ok wat..
Goin up Genting Highlands trw for 2 nites wz 2 colleagues…Bringing RM5k hoping to strike some winnings & hopefully we can score wz the gals there (WL/FL/Ons)
Got some lobangs fm kind bros under Msian Sex Scene…
Stay tune….
Aft my “failed” attempt at bonkin my msia massage gal previously due to “unforseen circumstances”, i’ve been having this feeling tt i must correct the situation…Must go back to her for a session again…Been itchin to go but at de back of my mind is the fear of sthing might happen like last time…For the past few days been postponing my trip bcoz of the fear i had…This is so unlike me…I rmb vividly 4 yrs ago when the AV raids were at their worst, I didnt think twice to go & find my fav massage gal at BHC…It never xcross my mind tt it would be dangerous…Back then it was small head over rule big head…But now as i grow ever so old, my big head is making its case to my small bro…But yday, I couldnt resist the temptation anymore…I call, i booked & i went finally…
Made my way down aft my hectic day in de office…One half of my balls was so happy tt soon it will be lick & suck but the other half of my balls was still in doubt over the previous “incident”…All will be answered in an hrs time…Paid up the recep & for once i sign in my real name & i/c in fear if anything shld happen at least i wont be charge with giving false info!!!!…Aft washin myself, again for once i put on de shorts they provided just in case again…All the while in various MP just put on a towel only for easy access aftwards…Oh man…Aldy in the lions den but still cant shake off the uneasiness…
Finally she step in & upon seeing me sitting on de bed wz my shorts on, she smile & said “nice to c u again”…Like old friends we just begin to talk & talk & talk…When i lie facin down, she tap my butt & pull off my shorts…Well there goes any doubts i had out of the window…She cover me wz a towel & begin her bone crackin massage…She’s one of the best massage girls tt really give a very very good massage…B4 cummin over, i aldy made up my mind if dont hv any specials also nvr mind coz her massage skills will more then made up 4 it…Her strength in massaging is worth the entrance fee…At the end of the massage session, she uses her knee to massage my achin back…Pure heaven…
Then she put her head beside my ear & whisper the canto words im longing to hear…Translation “Do the whole package ok”…I nooded & she gave me a kiss on my cheeks….I lift up my head & see her make her way out to take the “stuff”…She was wearin the company’s attire wz tights…She’s not exactly a looker but to me its just secondary…Plain jane is fine by me as long as she can make my lil bro happy…
Then she came back wz the same attire minus the tights!!!…As this is the 3rd time i visited her, she has warm up to me this time…She is more playful & cheeky…During the massage i told her next visit i will buy her chocolates to eat but she playfully says “No need to buy lar…U aldy got aldy & i wat to eat this chocolate” pointin to my cock!!!!….Notti notti…Her tone of voice this time ard also has bcum very teh sending shivers down my balls!!!….Back to her entrance…I lifted up my head to see her strip & commented wah no tights aldy ah aft cummin back with the barang…She cheekily says “more sexy mah like this” & slowly strip…Wearing matchin bra & panties…I steam liao!!!…She ask me why i turn ard to see her strip to which i answer “long time nvr see u aldy ma”…Then she ask me like wat u see!!!…Like a little boy seeing a naked gal for the first time i just hang out my tongue & nooded like a pervert!!!…
Then she hop onto the elevated bed & turn into “Catwoman”…She catbath me fm nipple to my ankle but still no frenchin yet…I dont knw she dont french or she waited for me to french 1st…Im not tt aggressive sort of a guy…I dont usually initiate things be it wz a friend or WL…I just go wz the flow…Aft lickin for abt 5 mins, she finally arrived at my cock & balls…By now my cock is in full capacity of hardness…She started of her “treatment” by lickin my balls…Pure shiokness…In between lickin she will suck my balls slowly…I was like so horny at tt moment…Then she glide her tongue up my cock…Lickin it like an ice cream..Then she bbbj me…I like de way she bbbj…Slow pace & just using her lips to touch my cock…I was controllin myself not to cum…I can feel my cock being blown but very sensual feeling…Not like others who just gobble up & start to go up & down which can be uncomfortable stimes…Her way was sexy wz just the rite amt of saliva rollin down my cock…Jeez just by typin this i got a hardon..
Then she cap me & rode me…Not for boob lovers as the sight of her riding me is not like her boobies goin up & down furiously…Then we chg to doggy & finally missionary…B4 enterin her missionary, i look at her pussy which is not clean shaven…But somehow i was so turn on lookin at her not so hairy pussy…Mayb its been a long time seein another gals pussy other then my wifey…I thrust her & while doin her she close her eyes…Wanted to french but scared she resist..I dont like the feelin of bein turn down tts why i seldom make de 1st move…Tts y i know i lose out in alot of things in life…Well tts just me…
While thrustin her slow & fast, i kept on lookin at her pussy…I wanted to stop thrustin & go down & lick her hairy pussy which is giving me the hots..But fate doesnt allow me too…De intercom sounded & we were running over our time.. She says faster cum & i obliged…I didnt feel angry at being ask to cum as i knw we were in de room for a long while aldy…This time ard aft i hv cum, i feel so alive!!!…The feelin is still there..Usually aft cummin, my cock would go dead but this time its still semi hard…Perhaps the lickin & fuckin & gfe has made me feel this way…She took off de condom & off i went to bath…
Aft i hv put on my office attire back, i paid her the usual fee…I was feelin very happy tt i made this trip…Told her i’ll be back for more…She smile & said next time must make sure we hv more time fuckin then massaging!!!….Couldnt agree more…While on de way home, i was thinkin next time i shld take halfday to enjoy her company…But for now, i must sweat abit to make the smell of the shower gone so my wifey wont suspect a thing…Its a “hard life” but when a horny man is in heat, he’s got to do wats “right” to satisfy his lust!!!
This year i “celebrate” a decade of secret life aft my marriage…Its been one hell of a roller coaster ride…There are hits & misses…But thankfully, so far (touch wood) I hv manage to cover up my secret agent life fm my wife…It might sounds like an achievement but seriously im not proud of wat i’ve been doin behind my wife’s back…There are alot of circumstances tt prompted me to take this “journey”….For me, its sexual fantasies…Why might u ask…I got a wife why dont i try it out on her…I did but the end results is not what i crave for..
Guys see alot of porn & im no different…Been exposed to the world of porn since secondary school…When young & no $$$, i will pcc…When married i tried to emulate some of the acts the actors perform on my wife…Stimes we dont get the same results but i dont complain to her…As the years go by as a married couple, the sex is getting less & less xciting…But i still keep on watchin porn as i wont say addicted to it but still feels xcited everytime when i watch it on my free time…
When i finally dived into the world of WL, i feel so alive when having sex wz them…They perform things tt my wifey dont do…they cathbath fm head to toe, they lick & suck my balls,they bbbj me,they let me french them,they let me fuck them doggy style,cowgirl style,missionary style,spoon style,shower fuck & they ASS RIM me!!!!…All these things i could teach my wife to do it…Yes some of it she do it not tt perfect but passable…Like i tell her to lick my balls but everytime she do it, i dont feel tt good..The feeling of my balls being lick just doesnt sent me to cloud nine…I teach her how to bbbj me…Slow & steady…When to pick up the pace…use her tongue to lick my cockhead…Yes all these things she do it..Yes it feels nice but not up to my xpectation…There are acts we can tell the wifey to do but think ASSRIMMING is not one of them…
Blame it on porn…Seeing the guys being ass lick sent a tingle to my lil bro..Now i would like to try tt…Just couldnt bring myself to ask my wifey to do it..Wat will she think of me!!!…So again WL manage to fulfill my “dream” of my ass gettin lick…Started off feeling weird but slowly it grows on u…I mean this is just one of the things we can do wz the WL…Guess wat im tryin to say is WL manage to fulfill my fantasies like a porn star…I knw their moanin is stimes fake but it still feels good to hear it when i fuck them…
As long as WL exist in this world,guys incl me will patronize them…For me its not to find GF or ONS but to satisfy my sexual fantasies…Wifey can be taught certain “skills in bed” but the outcome is not de same as WL…They r pro in wat they r doin…Hence they r my best outlet to fulfill my dreams…I wont get a FB or a mistress coz its just too messy to handle…I go for fuck & forget…Once deed is done,i will go back to my wifey & son & be a dutiful husband & father…It might make me look like a jerk for screwing ard behind my wife’s back but tts de path i hv choosen 10 yrs ago without hesitation…Asshole or not, i still wat my balls to be lick,my cock to be blown & my ass to be lick by a WL who is professional enuff to make me like a pornstar just for tt 1 hr or so…
Reading thru Sammyboy Adult section, one particular thread caught my attention…WeChat…Curious went in to read & found out alot of “happenings”…This was 6 mths ago…Install the app on my hp & started to “Look Around”…Found some decent looking gals to chat…Some responsive some heck care my greetings to them…But after abt half an hour of chatting, nothing in common & so it’s back to the drawing board…Unlucky me coz I don’t know mandarin or else I could know more gals…Some are decent looking PRC’s & some are soliciting clients…This is what I read la in the thread…Never encounter one due to my inability in conversing mandarin…
After abt a week of non action, decided to delete the app…Fast forward to Apr'13…Again after reading the WeChat thread, decided to give it another go in finding a gal to chat…As I have reached the magical 40 in my eventful life, I just want to find a gal to chat with…That is my main goal…Bros might not agree wz my intention but if anything that comes along with the initial chattin, I consider it a big bonus…After years of being married to the same woman, I just want to find a gal to chat with..$$$$$ics to discuss with the wifey have somehow dried up…Especially at night when she’s asleep, I would feel very bored not having someone to talk to…Need some1 that I can talk to abt life,food,movies,etc & of coz sex…
Might find this stupid but Im actually looking for married or attach woman…Reason being I want them to know Im married….I don’t want to misled them into thinking Im looking for a gf or wife…If the woman are attach, at least I can rest easily knowing we are just looking around for a fling,ONS or just companionship…I have no intention to start a relationship.. I just want a companionship for chatting during wrkin hrs & after midnite at home…Believe it or not that is the truth…Yes I do eat outside behind my wife’s back but its wz WL at HC…Fuck,pay & forget..But of coz there are a few gals that I rtf la…If they manage to make me steam enuff, I will go back again to them…But it’s still fuck,pay & partially forget….
After 2 days of looking around in WeChat, a gal respond to my message…We started to msg each other after finding out we have things in common…Strangely after 2 hours of chattin, the question of are we attach or not didnt crop up…Guess we were to engross in chattin abt our common things…She’s a lot of fun to chat wz…As she’s wrkin shift duty, day time we seldom chat but after midnite is a different story…message aft message were sent…But after 3 days of chattin, the topic of sex is still a taboo subject…Then one nite after we say our gdnites, I log out fm my account just to be on the safe side in case my wife stumble across the app…Of coz I put this wonderful app in a folder containing other game apps so it won’t be so visible once my phone is visible to her eyes…Notification is off when Im at home…Better play safe…
The next morning i log into WeChat & saw she msg me saying she’s sorry…I thought what but is in fact that she is telling me she has a bf & they are living 2gether…Believe it or not but I was estatic abt the news…I promptly sent her a msg saying Im a married man…She reply saying she more or less knows im married fm the pic i gave her!!???….Maybe uncle look aldy…I also told her how can a pretty girl like her (fm the pic she gave me earlier) not be attach (give her 6/10)…
We continue to chat daily but mostly at midnite when my wifey is asleep…She also said her bf would also be sleeping like a pig ard this time due to shift wrk also…We would chat for ard 1 to 2 hrs nightly..Yes I would be pretty slpy at wrk due to lack of sleep (ard 4 hrs sleep only) but I have finally found some1 that i could share my problems with…It’s like we are fated to meet each other…Initially she didnt wants to give her hp no.to me but after 3 weeks she finally gave me…Small steps for her in trusting me…She knws Im not looking for a quickie,ONS or affair with her…
Slowly she sent me pics of herself when I ask for it…Vice versa…Once I joke abt any sexy pics of her for me to see…Of coz she says dont have & if hv also wont give any1 see…Only for her bf…Told her no prob but I was gutted to say the least…Guys will always be horny…Few days after my “request”, the sexy pic topic arise again…This time she say if I cannot tahan after seeing her sexy pic then how…Told her i go & DIY lor…She counter back saying i’m married why need to DIY…Can go & do it wz my wife if steam…By this time she knws pretty much abt my non-existent sex life wz my wife as we have covered this topic…
At nite after my wife is asleep, I would on the notification of WeChat…Went for a quick loo break & came back saw she has sent me a msg on my home screen…Swipe my iphone to unlock the home screen & wah la…She has sent me a pic of her in bikini!!!….Wzout national anthem playin, my lil bro has marikita automatically!!!…Told her she’s busty!!…And she replied I didnt say I was not busty!!!..But not to the extend of spilling out of the bikini la…But still a handful!!!…Told her I steam liao..She says sure or not she pic also got steam..Told her guys are diff from gals…We horny creatures steam easily…Even seeing VPL during lunch time also can steam!!!…She made me promise & swear to god not to let any living human being see the pic…I swore!!!..
Then it’s time to sleep as it was ard 2am on a weekday…We say our nightly goodnites wz dear this dear that…But b4 we end the chat, I sent her a msg…“Dear…I see yr bikini pic I steam aldy”…Trying to be as gentleman as possible, I ask her sthing..“I wat to cum but wife aldy soundly asleep at 2am, can i see yr pic & DIY??”…By now I might look like a pervert to her!!!…Anxiously waiting to see wats her reply would be…Pop the notification comes out…“Yes dear”…Wz tt we ended our nightly chat & off I went to DIY while looking at her bikini pic…Shot out my cum…Wash up & sleep!!…
Might seems like a pervert but hey who cares…It’s 2am & if i wake up my wife & fuck her (which i never did b4), she might “suspect” sthing hahaha…Next day she ask me if i got DIY & I told her “Yes Dear”…We continue our daily chat at nite…It’s now 1 month aldy…And the weird part is that we have yet to meet each other!!!…She says she is loyal to her bf & wont fuck ard with others…Told her Im find wz it (not entirely true la actually)…I also not really actively lookin for a FB…If it doesnt happen between us, so be it…I still love her dearly as my friend whom i can share my problems wz.. Maybe someday sthing might happen but I won’t be pushing the topic wz her anytime soon…Lets leave it to destiny…If we do meet up for dinner or movie one day, who knws where a simple get 2gether can lead to…Till that day cums, we are now calling ourselves WeChat bf/gf…Sounds childish…Yes it does..But at least knwing her I have relieved my teenage days once again…It’s great being “young again”…
She asked me if I werent married now, would i woo her??…My answer is a simple “YES DEAR”…
Finally aft almost 2 mths of chattin daily,we finally met up for dinner…I hv long to ask her out but i dont wat to be dissapointed by a ‘NO’ answer…So i drag on for so long b4 asking her out…My damm flaw in life is i cant take rejection well..Will be damm emo..This flaw of mine has certainly stopped me fm going further in life!!!…Sad but true…
So what makes me asking her out this time??…Well thruout our daily chats,she’s being giving me hints like when is her off day,feel bored on off day,bf wrkin when she’s off,etc…So aft hearing all these,I decided to try my luck…Ask her out for dinner on her off day…Wzout hesitation,she said YES…Wz a sigh of relief,we set the time & place to meet…
Time has come for us to meet…I was strangely feeling abit nervous seeing her in person..Felt like a teenager all over again..But aft seeing her & talkin to her for a few mins,the ice is broken easily…We hit it off…Those daily chats & phone calls has certainly help us both to settle in quickly…We were nvr short of things to talk…Just like long lost pals…Aft our dinner we head to the Esplanade for a walk…Then she suggest sitting down by the seaside…It has a nice view…Gd plc to sit down for couples…
We talk & talk but no action…Im fine wz it actually…Get to knw u session…But we sat closely to each other…I mean really close…At one point i just wanted to kiss her as she was so close to me…But i resisted my lil bro temptation…We hv talk previously tt we r just very2 gd frens…I dont wat to ruin this frenship of ours…Mayb she wats me to kiss her or maybe not…Mayb next time when we meet i might try my luck…Who knws i might get lucky!!
Topics like sex wasnt brought up when we met…We do talk alot abt our sex lives during chattin but mayb 1st time meet might feel a wee bit uncomfortable..We sat for an hour..Then we decide to call it a day…As we were walking towards the mrt,she mention some pubs in clarke quay which she once visited..Says its very nice…Told her why dont u show me where it is…Wzout an ounce hesitation,she say lets go dear…
And so we walk fm Esplanade to clarke quay but no holding of hands…A few times our hands would brush against each other tts all..Reached de pub…All the while i thght she just wat to show me the place only but to my surprise she says lets hv a drink…Im ok wz it…Again we sat real cloze to each other in de pub…Wanted to hold her hands but again my inner demon held me back..What if what if what if she resist blah blah blah…So pathetic…
We didnt stay long there…Made our way to the mrt…I sent her back…Though nothin “happened”,I was reasonably satisfied wz how de evening went..Some might find me a loser coz no action & u maybe right but i knw my limits…Mayb it might happen between us one day but i wont be going fast & furious to make it a reality just yet…Reach home midnite & saw my wifey slping…In my mind,I was thinkin how good it is if the one slping on my bed now is my wechat buddy..Sigh
Aft our first “date”,life is back to norm…Textin & phone calls…But one major development is tt we are both planning to go back to our hometown in Msia next mth…And we both are fm the same hometown!!!…How concidence is tt!!!..We didnt plan to go back at the same time initially but I suggest to her why don’t we go back together!!!…Wzout a blink of an eye she said OK…Tryin not to show my fucking excitement at this, I calmly said let’s pick a suitable date
But the best part of this upcoming trip back to our hometown is tt we will be going back wzout our partners!!!…My mind is fill wz “things” i want to do wz her in Msia…Some clean things & of coz some “dirty” things…Must proceed carefully as to not destroy our frenship…The advantage I hv back in Msia is tt I got a car…And we knw wat we can “do” inside the car in a secluded area…
But before all this car or hotel rendevous, what better way to get up cloze & cozy with her wz a long bus journey back home…I will test water inside the bus on what my chances are…Mayb start off wz holding hands…then cuddling…& just mayb kissing…One thing for sure, wz both my wife & her bf not around, the chances of some hanky panky is very very gd indeed…Just need to access the situation carefully b4 proceeding…
My secret life motto of “Fuck,pay & forget” will be severely tested in the cummin weeks…
Will be meeting my wechat “gf” this week again…I will take this opportunity to access how far I can proceed when we are in Msia in a mth’s time…Hv to be at my best behaviour not to ruin our relationship b4 our trip…I really really want to be wz her in Msia…
If “things” do happen in Msia,I will be a lucky man…If nothing happens,I still will be one lucky man to hv her as my frend…Yes i do want to fuck her…But will it come at a cost as Im a married man…People will say just treat her as a FB…In a way tt is probably the best scenario…That is if she agree…But nowadays I find myself thinkin abt her day & nite…I will wonder what she is doing..Who is she talking to & what is she doing wz her bf!!!…
Wake up i think of her…Sleeping time i think of her…Man…Feels like a teenager having a crush…Why am i feeling this way…Im a happily married man..Why is she always on my mind!!!…I dont think i have fallen for her…Maybe its been such a long time since my dating days tt i feel so much laughter & sweet memories…
Seeing guys saying of their “conquest” wz wechat girls makes my situation pale in comparison…Mayb deep down i feel guilty towards my wife if sthing happen wz my wechat gal…U might find it fucking weird coz i feel this way coz i have been fucking WLs behind my wife’s back!!!…Yes i admit i dont feel an ounce of guilt when i fuck them…I dont hv any feelings for them…Fuck,pay & forget…But wz this wechat gal, i feel i hv some sort of feelings for her…
Not those “I Love U” feelings…Now i can still proudly say i can easily separate out my feelings for her…Feelings for a best friend…But i know my feelings will dramatically change if we hv sex together…Yeah some might say FB only la…Dont take it so seriously brudder…But I knw myself better then anyone else…If I cross this fine line with her, my marriage will be affected…
I might be contradicting myself…Small brain says fuck her…Big brain says dont cross the line…Man…Aint it great if i wasnt married…No need to think abt wat big brain wats…Just do it!!!!…Watever happens in a mth’s time will hv an impact in my life…Do I regret knwin her thru wechat…NO!!!…Hopefully next mth, Watever happens in Msia, Stays in Msia……
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eeemen
So bro, how was the trip home? Full of excitement and intense shagging?? Do update us ya? Thanks n cheers, ……………………
Bro…Only gg back next wkend…3 days wz her…Can’t hardly wait…
51/49% chance of sexual activities based on signs i get fm her…Of coz i want but i knw her loyalty towards her bf might be the main stumbling block..
As the day draws nearer to our trip back to Msia,im beginning to have some serious issues in my head…I like her…I adore her…But stop short of loving her…She’s constantly on my mind b4 i slp & when i wake up in de morning..
This kind of “weird” feelings is like younger days when wooing a girl or just started dating…The honeymoon period…All still lovey dovey…Its been ages since i felt this way…Feels good being able to feel this way again but it also comes wz headaches…Both of us r attach…So there’s no way we wlll ever be together…We both made it very clear on this point…Though nothin really have happen between us till now, I hv somehow bcum sort of emotionally attach to her…
When she goes out wz her frens, somehow i felt wee bit of jealousy & emo…Stimes she tells me whom she goes out with…She said mostly are her gal pals…& the things they do when they meet,clubbing…Man..Somehow its like a needle pricking my skin….Wishing she dont go clubbing & be a good good girl at home…But not that she goes clubbin weekly…Just once in awhile…But it somehow “hurts me”…What if she meets a guy there…So many what if wonder thru my mind…I shldnt be feeling this way as she is just a frend only…This kind of feelings shld be reserved for my wifey…
Very very heart pain for me nowadays…Mayb im too emo…I admit since my teenage days i got some jealousy blood flowin thru my veins…Not since my dating days wz my 1st gf, M, hv i felt this way abt a girl…My wifey thank god so far hvt given me this kind of emotional distress…Tts why we r still married aft so long…Now comes this wechat girl who is 10 yrs my junior turnin my world upside…
Usually at nite,my time table is watchin tv b4 i doze off…CSI,Criminal Minds,Law & Order:SVU,Fox Movies & Fox Sports News are my religion…But now for the past 3mths,all i could think off at nite is her…Chattin wz her…Wat to knw how was her day like…Stimes chat abt sex also…I mean i shld be thankin my lucky stars to hv found a girl tt is willing to chat & meet wz a married man..So far its been a plutonic friendship…Suits me fine till now…
Stimes when i knw she went back home late, i will be emo…Sigh..So pathetic…But i cant control myself…I wont tell her off for going back home late but i will be be kind of cold towards her…Who am i to tell her off..Im not her bf..I would just dont feel like chatin or talkin on de phone wz her…Once i gave her the cold treatment (again so pathetic of me) & she left me a message like this…“u nowadays seem to avoid me…why??”…Heart melt rite away…Then i will go back chattin or talkin on de phone wz her again…Im weak in her presence…
Next week when we go back together,i dont knw at wat level our “relationship” will be after tt…Surely will be more closer…Tts wat im afraid of…Getting too close to her!!!…Then my emo level towards her will also raise…More headaches!!!!…Stimes it cross my mind to end this friendship so i can go back to my normal life…Mayb abit boring but at nite i can slp comfortably beside my wife…No need to think abt wechat girl…But do i hv the strenght to end it…I really dont knw…Just hope after our trip back home,i wont fall deeper into emo state…Must knw how to separate the thin line of friendship wz her…Just hope everything will turn out well next week…Keeping my fingers & balls xxxxx…
But before next week, im meeting her in 30mins time for dinner & drinks….Mayb unknowingly i have aldy fallen deeper….