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Ah Thao (my based in Singapore Viet Fuck Buddy) introduced me to her Wet-nam friend, Ah Ho, as I was alone in Ho Chi Minh. Its my first time there - and totally spontaneous.
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Ah Ho (who is dam aunty looking) has a sweet niece who looks like porn star Tia Tanaka. I shall call her Tia in my chronicles.
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Tia recently had broken up with her boy friend is a looking for another.
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Of course, in the first instance I am not considered as an option. I look older than Tia’s father and I am butt ugly.
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Met Ah Ho and Tia and we decided to go to another place for lunch. Tia is with a motorcycle and I decide to be opportunistic and hug hug this sweet young thing as I pillion.
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Unlike what you see in Jap porn, when the guy is “flossing” the girl’s vulva using her g-string, most girls don’t find this kind of foreplay a turn on.
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Using your palms to bounce your lover’s head like a basketball as she gives you a blow job and then saying “nothing but net!” is not flattery!
- Contrary to porn when you spit at your girls poontang to lubricate her, it is not sexy. (Got a story to tell you about it)
Bro, i like the horse calling sexiting bed story. Was on a bus home while reading it. Laugh so loudly that everyone look at me as if i’m a retarded person or something. Immediately, i took the phone to my ear and make up a conversation with fake friend.
Wa really no face.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SharkAttack
Bro, i like the horse calling sexiting bed story. Was on a bus home while reading it. Laugh so loudly that everyone look at me as if i’m a retarded person or something. Immediately, i took the phone to my ear and make up a conversation with fake friend.
Wa really no face.
So glad you enjoy my chronicles.
Laughing out loud okay lah …..but what is REALLY “bo bin” (no face) is when a young boy offer me his seat with a polite “uncle nah, you sit down okay”.
didn’t taste women squirt juice before, but the contents of women squirt juice are very different from urine contents
wah ! make love 3 times still no physical vigor?
your mate quite demanding!
how could she laugh at a Lao Hero?
got eyes see no Tazan !
so how was your time in HCMC?
haven’t been there for quite long - 9 years?
any changes ? still more bikes than cars? or cars slightly more than bikes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
callmebad
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wah ! make love 3 times still no physical vigor?
your mate quite demanding!
how could she laugh at a Lao Hero?
er, I think what she meant was in-out, in-out, in-out, three times and then pumchet!
bro, love your writing style. fantastic. i couldn’t help laugh multiple times, specially with you being royalty like prince charles - both like horses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ansonsohna
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You know what I nearly did after kena squirt juice on my face. I was afraid that the bacteria on the juice can give me pimples and make me even more ugly than I already am …. so I thought the best way is to wash my face with “Vagisil” (the soap which women use to wash their pussy) since it would have contain the necessary ingredients to wash away all pussy related bacteria.
Guess what? I finally used the women’s “Chee Buy Soap” (that’s what I call Vagisil) to wash my face ….
Olive was particularly wet and horny when I ate her today. She over gyrated and literally spread her love juice all over my face. And when she saw that my face is wet with her PJ (PJ is NOT “Pang Jio” but “Pussy Juice”), she laughed and say its SK2!!!!!!
macham TV like that got re-cap!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ansonsohna
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The events are a little hazy now as so much as happened thereafter. I shall give you an encapsulation to the story (so that you don’t have to re-read the back story):
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The first thing to do before mounting Tia’s scooter is of course to use a cap! Ahem .. notice the clever use of “mounting Tia” and cap (condom). In this uncle’s day, we call condoms “French Cap”, nowadays don’t know what they call it. Raincoat? Didi Protective wrap?
Okay, besides the obvious innuendo, why else do I say cap and not helmet? In Vietnam, the safety helmet all for show nia, most of the so call look like cap worn by those at the polo club (oh please don’t get me started on horses again!
)
As usual, this uncle head a bit “tua tao” (big head) and cannot fit in the cap-helmet properly. This is where Tia does a cute action. She clenched her fist and started to pound lightly on the cap in order to fit my big head in, laughing as she does so. Bladdy action so cute that my lan cheow marikita ….. especially as her smallish boobs shimmer ever so slightly in each pounding action!
Then I did the most macho thing. I raised up my hand in surrender and say “ocuh, pain …”
Tia gave me a half wink and beckoned me over to pillion ride on her scooter.
Now this uncle here very sua-ku and whose balance is totally crap. Even when go riding with Olive at east coast on a two seater bike can langa (accident-crash).
On one hand, dam shoik to sit behind pillion a Sweet Young Thing - I pictured, in my mind that my kuku to have many brushes on that sweet tight ass as Tia negotiates the HCM notorious traffic. hmmmmm … nice (Homer Simpson’s voice) as I imagine the delight!
As I walk up to Tia’s scooter and about to straddle, I realised that I have to hold on to something. I am not sure whether to “hug” Tia or grab hold of the sides of the scooter. I half wanted to grab Tia’s neh neh as my support!
But all thoughts of eroticism quickly vanished. The fumes, the uncomfortable cap-helmet which is at least two sizes two small, the weaving in and out of traffic made what my marikita (erection) punchet! Not only that, when a car nearly grazed my leg, my didi almost did a tortise and retreated its head in its shell! …. and yah, btw uncle her held on to Tia’s waist as support!
Sexual advice from Lao Hero:
Take it from me, these are all proven by my personal experience.
And “Linsanity” or not, most ah Lian will respond: “lan qiu? lan cheow lah! laun chu pak gua eh tao” (Basket ball? balls lah. anyhow bounce my head) or something to that effect.
Cheers and yam seng!
Interesting advice bro!
. Looking forward to more of your chronicles la. Mai tan ku ku hor?!!
. Cheers bro, ………………