Quote:
Originally Posted by
kingrex
Hey douchebag, you are good in your writing. I am also old, but not a hero. Do continue.
ha ha ha
… knn call me douchebag. Urban Dictionary define douchebag as: “Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed with douche.”
but bro. cannot be douchebag leh … I fucked a mother (with two kids) just before coming to Ho Chi Minh City!
Still in Ho Chih Minh as I type in my report:
Talking about Ho (as in whore) and the Chi (as in Chee Bye) and the Minh (… wanted to try to be witty and come up with a something cute but mental block), the action just got a little better for me.
So far I didn’t sample any “ho” or “chi”, but had dates with Vietnam gals. Ahem, note the plural ….
You see when my Viet Fuck Buddy (based in Singapore) called, I told her all about my spontaneous trip to HCM .. she proceeded immediately to call her friend to host me.
Whether its to check on me or whether its out of genuine concern I don’t know. But anytime a situation like this happen, my hopes rise. I keep picturing some chio bu ….. but alas real life not the same as Playboy and Penthouse. My FB’s friend is an aunty. Her face cannot make it. But she is shapely still despite having borne a baby.
Actually who I am to call anyone aunty? I only uncle status but already look like the beginning of Ah Pek - hood.
Note to self: I better delay wearing Flying Wheel Brand of singlet and underwear, if not confirm that I reach “ah pek”-dom liao!
Anyway, looking at my FB friend, I thought to myself: “supposing she give me for free, do I accept?”. Now this surely the height of presupposition, but I guess this is how the horny sẽx deprived mind works ……
I was deliberating this in my mind for so long that I didn’t notice a sweet young thing coming along side us. The aunty had brought along her niece. And she is only twenty years old.
When I saw her, my mind go: Dam she í very cute. And she reminded me so much of the porn star Tia Tanaka. (Please google her picture if you don’t know how she looked like).
Still deliberating whether to post her pic (strategically cropped and censored of course to hide hẻr identity but good enough show you what I mean …)
….. knn got to stop now, keyboard very irritating, everytime i type suddenly revert to tinh viet and I have to cancell and re-retype before it becomes english.
Lao hero finally returned home from Wet-nam. As usual, got a series of advantures and misadvanture to share. With my cheapskate attitude, anyhow shoot mouth and hum-ba-lang whack first before engaging brain, you know that something interesting is bound to happen!
Anyway, back to the story line. My Singapore FB (who is Viet btw) introduced me her friend to take care of me whilest I was in Ho Chi Minh City. And this friend brought along her 18-19 year niece when she met me. My FB’s friend name is Ah Ho (“ho” as in how those pretentious bastard who think that the chao ang mo pronounced “whore” is cool).
But “Ho” here quite live up to her name. Ah Ho really got a slut attitude, eveything also can relate to sex. Fruit lah, food lah, cars lah. Basically Ah Ho is milf … not too bad looks but not cock standingly beautiful. You know, “can lah”, especially if drunk and kena strike out when buaya-ing. A experience I am so so familiar with.
But her niece is another thing altogether. She is yummy! Like I mentioned earlier, she kinda reminded me of Tia Tanaka - especially her smile. I shall call her Tia in my FR as I cannot properly pronounce her name.
Anyway Aunty Ho introduced me to Tia and then ask me whether I know anyone in Singapore to match-make for her.
I thick skinly volunteered myself. The CB Aunty Ho, forthrightly pointed out that I was “too old”. KNN …..
Tia can speak basically Mandarin - not good but better than most of the Viet I met so far. From what I can dicipher, Tia essentially dumped her bf because she caught him with hostess.
This uncle here then suggested she take her revenge by rabba rabba me, taking a pic and showing up her cheating bf. Or purposely go to where he hangs out and show him that she can play the same game.
Most Sinkie gal will be repulsed by this suggestion (and would have probably slapped me or vomitted by the sheer audacity of my disgusting suggestion). But not for Tia. She simply smiled.
Me, Aunty Ho and Tia made further small talk. i suggested lunch to continue our conversation. I blanjar. They took me to a restuarant called “Broken Rice” which is within walking distance of my hotel.
Walking distance is quite inaccurate, because only me and Aunty Ho is supposed to walk. Tia took her little scooter and said that she will meet us there.
This is where Lao hero thick skinly asked whether he can pillion ride as he wanted to experience how it is like. Come on lah … of course this opportunistic. If it was a Viet man, i will not even make such a suggestion. I find that to “hug” a man while pillion riding - and with your dick place so near his ass … just a tad too ….. gay!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Echo3
Si beh ho . Bro I will be supporting your thread from today. Hope you dun mind.
Wah liao, of course don’t mind lah. In fact, I kum siah you for your sappork. Up you a little for your good taste!
This is Lao Hero reporting from Changping.
I went to the spa at hotel Lihao (fifth floor) and have this to share. Mummy was a tall pimp who introduced the various girl. Don’t know why but I suddenly felt like having a tall girl. So I choose the tallest in the group. It set me back RMB 800 (the rates go from RMB 500).
She looked like a model with a nice long legs. Her face also very sweet. But when we went to the room, she gave me a shy smile. Alamak, the bladdy teeth beng-kok, senget one. As my friend used to say, the bladdy teeth can use to grate coconuts!
Teeth aside, everything about her is good. Nice size breast with pink nipples. Although not shaved, her armpit is naturally sparse with hair. I even have fun gently tugging at her arm-pit hair during the sessions (allowed two shots).
The first thing the bitch does when she my xiao didi was to comment that Singapore men dick very big. I told her off. If my dig is big, girls won’t comment that it can used as toothpick.
I instructed her to do a strip tease which she readily complied. But before she does so, she switch on the TV which showed porn. KNS, the porn movie babe is very chio, so don’t don’t where to concentrate, live show or TV. At least the porn music is house/trans - and not the bladdy seedy organ type of music.
Just before she pulled off her panties, I suddenly shout “hold it”, let me remove the last piece of clothing. She complied. In fact I was feeling kinky, if any pubic hair spill out of her panty, either sideway or between the tiny holes, I will gently pull at it. Didn’t know that pulling-tugging of panties can be so ticklish. The bitch laugh and kicked out because she was ticklish. Heng ah never kena me!
(to be con’t)
okay soli for “chit-teh” “Chit-teh” (one piece - one piece) story that never connect. So many things happen and with so many girls that I blur liao! hee hee hee (its me giggling like a chao ah qua or school girl!)
So readers, can pan-chan while I “sam-mu-lah” (start again)?
I’ll start with my latest story and work try to connect the past events:
Just last nite, uncle Lao Hero here the ultimate “lao kwee” (disgrace) moment!
I was reading an old copy of 8 Days where they feature Ho Sun and they made a mention of a video call “China Wine”.
Curiousity got the better of me and I you-tube it.
.. and knn, while watching the video, I GOT A BONER! (seeing how many people say she got horse face, does it mean that I into bestiality?)
but this is not the end. I since I already got the boner and I want to polish it off i.e. wank. And I did so.
And when I was half way jerking, my fiancee, Olive (Yes, still the same gal whose tits as small as roti prata!) suddenly walked in.
She got a look of disgust and shocked.
“Quick thinking” me blurted that I am not masturbating but rather happen to scratch my cock. And I showed her the video to prove that there is nothing sexy about it ….. I even purposely mentioned that she got horse face!
Olive however does not buy my excuse, She warned me that I had better stop jerking off to paster’s wife, else lightning will strike me. And then berate me for my poor taste, before sarcastically commented: “At least you have royal taste. You same like Prince Charles. Both like you like girls who look like horse!”
Hahahha great u r back!
Wah seh you are engaged ah?! Congrats man…welcome to the realm of the last ring…the suffeRING!! HAHAHHA
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bangster
Hahahha great u r back!
Wah seh you are engaged ah?! Congrats man…welcome to the realm of the last ring…the suffeRING!! HAHAHHA
Hi Bro Bangster … I kena the interim stage before suffer-RING. Its called boRING!
Everytime make love same pattern. Now because I am pussy licking “expert” (thanks to my fantasy girl - see my other thread on fantasy girl), I kena foreplay Olive like crazy by licking and licking until my tongue got cramp.
I think I will buy a dog. And since Olive like to close eyes (yes, I am still that butt ugly), maybe when she is not looking, I get the dog to take over for a while ….
better start applying peanut butter to Olive’s c**t (dogs love to lick it!) so that she would suspect anything!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
uxorious
Thanks for sharing. Anymore?
Yes, Bro uxorious, got lots more lao hero stories ….. stay tune okay?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
a6gorilla
Welcome back! Long time!
thanks gorilla ….. and since gorilla hairy, I will tell you story about pubic hair first!
This Lao Hero here got a lot of stories but since CB hair is mentioned, I will tell you an interesting CB hair story.
I got this little kinky thing about seeing stray CB hair peering out of panty. Remember the incident of a face “cannot make it” wannabe model posing at a car show? What is steam for me about that, is that she accidentally expose some strands of CB hair coming out from the panty!
Anyway, a group of us was at a KTV during the Euro cup, we were flushed with cash - as Germany did very well (at one stage of the competition anyway).
Since we are on a “puak keow” (gambling) mood and the nite happen to be a rest nite (no Euro games), we are feeling bored. We begin to think of nonsense games to play and have a friendly wager among friends.
Mo tin tin I suddenly got this idea: The five of us pool each $50, making it $250 altogether. Then we offer to a KTV girl (no mummy KTV) $50 just to “ka kui kui” (open leg) to show panty. If her CB hair can be seen, those bet “See CB hair” will win. And then split the winning by those who bet the same. Vice versa for the “see no CB hair” bets.
Maybe, its because we look so ham-sap that a lot of girls refused our offer of $50, but finally one girl did. When she ka kui kui, alamak, granny panties (in fact shorts). Uncle here lost the first round as I bet can see CB hair.
Determined to re-coup loss. I suggested we go for round two. Everybody agreed. Again, we ah pek uncle tikos find it rather difficult to find gal to “ka kui kui” for us for $50.
After several failed offers, finally one really really sweet mei mei agreed. Her face so macham innocent and a cutie pie too.
Anyway, this time everybody bet that cannot see her CB hair except for uncle here. I would stand to gain $200 if girl expose her CB hair! (Why people would want to share $50 between four person is not logical for me! Such poor odds!).
When the cutie pie mei mei “ka kui kui”, alamak … no CB hair exposed. I was about to pay up when I detected like a stray black hair peering out of her rather large panties. I offered the girl another $50 to stay where she was and not move so as to inspect the stray strand of CB hair closer. She agreed.
When we scrutinised, we still cannot be sure whether its CB hair or not. So I asked her whether I can tug at her panties (we didn’t tell her that we are looking for CB hair that peers out panty). cutie pie mei mei surprisingly agreed. … and KNN, it not stray CB hair but the black stand thing is actually a friggin’ tampon siah! The strand is actually the end of the tampon string! Don’t know why the edge of the tampon string is black!
More important is why on earth would a girl willing to “ka kui kui” when her “ah yee” visits (menstruation) !!!!!!
Anyway cutie pie xiao mei mei just laughed at us for our sheer reaction on find out that it was her tampon. She collected her money and left the room smiling!
…. after that tampon incident, Germany lost!
and we didn’t get the big jackpot of the eventual winners although overall we still come up positive!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ansonsohna
…. after that tampon incident, Germany lost!
Who ask you to put the tampon string? Pull tampon string is like lowering a flag. Lower flag means surrender liao mah.
Gambler play with woman’s menses, of course become sway…
Nice story by the way. Memorable night. Olympics got any games or not? Olympics symbol got 5 rings leh. You lower your pants and stand there with an erect penis. Get the KTV girl to throw a ring from far. Then you can collect bets. Out of 5 rings, how many will get stuck on your erect cock. 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Got 6 possible outcomes.