For non-Chinese speaking readers.
Hello there, I am Lu Lu
Lulu come here from Cheng Du (Cheng Du is a city in Sichuan Province)
Ok ok… speak Eng Ger Rish
Why can’t you all learn CHINESE?
You might know me from The Noose
When I talk, my lips come loose
Lulu armpit virgin hair
No pluck, no shave, always there
Lulu’s clothes all look like art
Buy from China Supermart
Lulu work in K T V
Every night sing M T V
Sing songs like that Chan Mali Chan
Cos it sounds like Come Money Come
Lulu come here for short run
Of course want more money come
Visa when end got fixed date
How much she earns count on fate
(sing the song if you know the tune)
Chan Mali Chan, Money Come!
Chan Mali Chan, Money Come!
Chan Mali Chan, spray my face with your hot cum
(on life in a Singapore ktv)
Lulu love you Singapore men
$1 K per night confirm can
Lulu’s boobs you like to squeeze
Don’t squeeze too hard, fake one please…
You guys love to lick my boob
Sing while fingers rub my hood
You like ballads, I like rock
You sing use mike, I use cock
You need release for kuku??
Of course must come find Lulu…
Lulu shake stick, pay fifty
Kuku want more, add money
Pretty Lulu from Sichuan
Ma La Blowjob do you want? (Ma La is a spice famous in Sichuan)
You say your wife loose chee bye
Lulu’s cave… big bats can fly
Lulu’s mouth will speak honey
That’s why you like paid pussy
(on the lao heros with CPF money in KTV)
Old man penis hard to stand
Egos linked with cash in hand
Spend more they feel they BIG MAN
Lulu want cash just pretend
Soothe their egos like a king
Happy Old Men spend don’t think
They spend money, enjoy life
Broke liao, cashless, fuck the wife
(on Singaporean curry)
Lu Lu no like smell curry
I smell curry, walk hurry
Curry cook with what? Fish Head?
Lulu prefer Carrot Head (a term for men who spends unwisely)
Carrot Head Singapore sure a lot
That’s why Lulu many God
Men who spend like God of Wealth
Improve Lulu’s wallet health
Lulu like carrot curry
Made from men who Jiak Liao Bee (Jiak Liao Bee is a hokkien term for useless men)
(on Presidential Election)
4 men stand for Election
President must have ERECTION?
Oh, Sor Li sorry… Election
Lulu make this correction
All 4 men do look quite smart
Not like China…. all black heart
President pay got 4 million?
China President make billion!
Supporting this thread
‘My Sex Education
.’
My Sex Education.
Hong-Kong those 2 give you porn,
Ah Ying really sharpen horn
Door not close tight watch her change
Watch through small gap, eyes must strain
Skin coloured panty so sexy
If only then know P C C
How to make that door unlock
Zhu Ge brain storm like Sherlock
Ah Ying want to watch T V
Help her and she show pussy!
Quickly switched the T V on
Ah Ying stripped shorts, real live porn!
Why her pussy got no hair
Not waxed, Not Shaved, Just born bare
One day come home take a shower
Ah Ying barged in with towel!
She then give my back a scrub
While I give her booby rub
Watch her naked want to fuck
Damn it, toilet why so dark???
Ah Ying whisper ‘Let’s hurry.’
Later get caught by mummy
Heard her words but no worry
Maybe then I too horny
One day Ah Ying was naked
Jump and scare me so wicked
Ah Ying menses so bloody
Every monthly bleed weekly
When she show me damn smelly
Will she bleed till she mati?
Will you like to get a kiss?
Oh Yes! Ah Ying… wet one please
What does ‘I Do’ really mean?
Friday night go meet guy friend
He is married, ring in hand
Ask him so how married life?
Poor guy start to complain wife
Last time he says he no clue
What it means to say ‘I do’
Now that he is married too
‘I do’ now means cannot do
All his income joint account
What he spend she sure will count
He go for beer, she raise hell
She buys Birkin never tell
What he spend now need license
Even his mum’s allowance
Last time massage rub the gun
Now no money, can’t have fun
Boyfriend Girlfriend Sex Life More
Now wife thinks that sex is chore
She says his cock is not clean
But he really scrub till glean
Before marriage, she suck cock
After marriage, she talk cock
More sex part of marriage plan?
‘I do’ now means use more hand
When we dating, walk IKEA
After marriage, ka ki kia (own self walk in hokkien)
I feel my mum lost a son
All she control, how I run?
Have you seen Lord of the Ring?
Evil plans all start with ring
How we spend time she decide
No way can I over-ride
Bro, my bonus keep with you
Let this money be fun tool
Sometimes I need C C A
Use this money for those day
You not scared that I will run?
If keep with wife, he gets none
Don’t ask me to keep in shoe
Trust you my friend, Yes I Do
Think now outside wife got man
I think that guy’s name is Ben
They are colleagues, flirt at work
If we divorce, I’ll be hurt
Marriage vow says she obey
Where got such thing in this day?
Vow says till death do we part
You go die lah, break my heart!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LoveAngel
So what inspires this?
What sparked this off are guys who complain about their wives. Really quite common and I thought it will be fun to write them all down. Especially the part about going to Ikea before marriage. Another thing about this topic is that I can write a rebuttal from a lady’s point of view. I’m sure the ladies complain about their husbands too right? If any lady has any complaint that comes to mind, please PM me and I will try to include it in if I can. Guys can also PM me about what your wife complains about you.
Love come in its various form
Angel? Potion? That’s the norm
J R Boy is someone’s son
Shuang_Jie_Gun just scold for fun (<– Just kidding, haha)
Noticed my thread is in ‘Adult discussions’ now. Didn’t request for it but I guess it’s more suitable to be in ‘Adult Discussions’. Thanks Moderators.
My previous poem is about things husbands complain about their wives. As mentioned, I am collecting feedback about things that wives complained about their husbands. So if you want me to write some complaints you know, do PM me. So far, received 3 useful points. Some points are things guys don’t really realise that the ladies are so irritated about.
Something interesting cropped up. Thought I share this. There is a girl whom I’ve been chatting with in msn for about 6 years. We knew each other from irc in 2005 and kept in touch. We had never met. Recently, I told her about SBF and showed her a poem from here. She said she had seen it before! Well, there is a lady who actually sends my poems to her group of friends. Probably just for laughs. Happen that the msn girl is on the mailing list. Whoever the lady who forward my poem is, glad you like it.
I told the msn lady that I am the guy who wrote the poem. She is very surprised. We then joked about it. I will be writing a poem about this msn girl soon (i think after the wife’s complaint poem). To spice things up, she told me it’s ok to include her name in my poem. She want her friend (the lady who forward the email) to be very surprised. Plus she was wondering if the guys who know her and surf SBF will actually come up to her and ask her if she is the girl in the poem. Interesting right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
goodpartner
For unknown reason(s),
I’m
looking forward to that sammyboyfor poem where he gave the green light to make it as insulting as possible…
Hi Bro, I did post out a poem on sammyboyfor. Just some observation on him. Didn’t mean to make it as insulting as possible. I did write a very insulting piece on HBB’s thread ‘Just a minute of your time’. I PM her and she did reply. I think i might have been too harsh and thus I deleted that poem. Anyway, her thread got deleted too. So people won’t understand what I was writing too. Better to make love, not war. Although if an opportunity arise for me to be as insulting as possible, I will try.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ichigo_Kurosaki
Bro 2centsworth, Haven’t seen you in a while. Welcome back, dear friend.
I have been around. Hanging out in the chatroom, making friends, meeting some of the ladies here. Hope my poem for your thread did help. No date report one ah? Haha…
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KeanuReeves
Really envy you bro 2centsworth, can write poems & sian gals..
I do meet guys too. I didn’t ‘sian’ girls lah. Just meet for a meal, coffee and chat. Nice to have a face to link to a nick. Would you believe me if I tell you I pick up a lady from here, we go for Char siew rice, chit chat during the journey and lunch, then send her home like a normal friend? It’s nice to have friends whom you can chat SBF with. Chat sex but no actual sex, friendships last longer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rob_onny
Wow Bro 2centsworth, ur england is very powderful… lol… Pls give us more…
My poems will get me banned in any other Singapore forum I suspect. So I can only rhyme here. I do rhyme Lan Jiao, Cheebye, Hiao… a lot of hokkien terms too.
If i get zapped anymore, I will soon reincarnate myself as a new nick ‘NOTworthAsingleCENT’.
Let me tidy up the next poem. Will post soon.
thanks bro 2cents for the thread, really very fun and stress-releaving
But what is this “Chee Hong” mean? can anyone explain thanks
What the wives think
You guys think girls no complain
Live with you guys go insane
Wedding when we say ‘I do’
You think only you no clue?
Before marriage, know you plumb
How I know you live in slum
Now that I am married too
‘I do’ now means you don’t do
Weekends, I must do house chore
You don’t help me out somemore
When I rest, still hear you snore
Ask you ‘Tired’. Say Ya Loh!!
You say baby, shall we fuck
Oh my god, don’t push your luck
I clean the house round the clock
At night still must please your cock!
When you force me suck your cock
Bitter taste like something rot
You don’t wash behind the skin
How does cock then become clean?
If my privates got urine
You smell, will whine and then scream
Basic hygiene you don’t know?
Wash with soap between the fold!
Our sex now no foreplay
Fuck one style, on bed I lay
Foreplay to you, finger rough
How to get high? I think tough
You still ask me why so dry
I say because I’m not high
Dry cos you have outside flings?
Slap you ah! Why say such things
You want kids but never plan
I just joined firm, so how can?
You just fuck and inside cummed
Then I pregnant, career harmed
When boss knows she ask me leave
Small firm can’t pay 4 months leave
Baby born on sole income
You still ask me ‘Hey how come?’
Baby born and I breast feed
Milk not enough, duct impede
Pump used daily for compress
Thirty M L, so depress
Worry about baby starve
You still suck milk!
Make life tough
Nipples so black why not pink?
We have 2 kids, what you think?
You go drink beer I raise hell
Mask Five One
think I can’t tell?
That place full of Vietnam girl
You write report in thread here
I don’t raise hell, how you stop??
Jazzy
to Mask, you will hop
You rub their breast is clean fun
I let guys rub, do you want?
When you busy, no miss me?
Only miss me when you free
Call and call the whole day long
If I’m busy, is that wrong?
Pick up phone to hear you scream
Where the hell ah have you been?
I just hate to hear that tone
Wife must stand by for your phone?
Cook for you is no mean feat
Many hours stand on feet
You just wait and do your thing
I will chop, boil, fry and steam
Eat the food while it is hot
Come and join me, you will not
Call and call but you won’t come
Food turned cold, you say don’t want
Still say your mum cook better
Better is divorce letter!
I did try hard, Yes I know
I can’t always go with flow
What’s the price of don’t love wife?
Women Charter pay with life
Vow says till death do we part
You want marriage, do your part!
Wow… very impressive Bro 2centsworth!
Your ability to rhyme & wax lyrical (with so many stanzas some more) is really no horse run!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
emperor11
For record, my wife don’t please my cock.
When the marriage on the rocks, she says its my fault.
Can be a 7-2 poem too…
Here’s an Emperor record,
his wife do not please his cock.
When the marriage on the rocks,
she says it is all his fault!