- and rang the doorbell.
It took her almost an hour to reply.
By that time, I had already finished almost half the bottle or Martell,
while watching Alex and Keng fool around with the hostesses.
J: I’m at Butter Factory. Wat’s up?
My long-time fuck buddy, Jenny, had finally replied.
Me: I’m bored. Wanna meet up?
J: Now? You need sex ah?
Me: Not really la. I just need someone. To talk.
J: Sure or not? Where you now?
Me: Armani.
J: Wah, go lup sup place cannot find girl meh?
Me: Don’t like them la.
J: Orh. I’m with my friends. You meet me later? 3 plus?
Me: Where?
J: Come Butter Factory la.
Me: Ok.
J: See you later!
I did not know why I messaged Jenny instead of Shirley, when I really should
be clearing the air with her. Maybe I really as that horny and wanted some
sex. It was not as if Jenny was not willing. We were, after all, fuck
buddies.
I said goodbye to Alex and Keng but I doubt they even acknowledged my
presence or impending absence.
I left Armani and grabbed a cab. Somehow or another, I ended up at Boat
Quay. I headed towards the river and sat there, taking in the cool night
breeze.
Jenny messaged me awhile later.
J: Where you?
Me: Singapore river.
J: Huh. Asked you to come butter factory leh.
Me: I’m nearby la.
J: Ok la. Which part of the river are you at?
Me: UOB plaza there.
J: Ok. I go find you.
I must have stoned for another hour before Jenny arrived. I did not even
know she arrived. She snuck up behind me, covered my eyes and went “Guess
who?” in her most childish voice.
Me: Who else can it be?
J: You’re no fun.
Me: Yeah.
J: What’s wrong?
Me: Stuff.
J: Nabei. You ask me out to talk and all you say is one word. You want sex
issit?
Me: Would be good. But not now.
J: Basket. You want or don’t want!? I turned down an ang moh at the club
just for you ok? Now I won’t know if he’s got a huge cock…
Me: You want you go la.
J: Never mind la. I’m here liao. You better fuck me good later.
Me: Anything la.
Jenny settled down beside me, slid her arm around mine and lay her head on
my shoulder.
J: So what’s wrong?
Me: I don’t know.
J: That girl issit?
Me: How you know?
J: Eh, you forgot who my brother is ah?
Me: Huh? Why he tell you all this?
J: Casual conversation.
Me: Just what exactly did he say?
J: He say you are fucked up, keep fucking around. Can’t stick to one girl.
What the fuck. And to think that he is my best friend. At least he was being
honest.
Me: Then what you say.
J: I pretend to be shocked lor.
Me: You are no better then me…
J: Then I told him I’ve been sleeping with you for the past 6 years.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK???
J: Kidding la.
Me: Basket. Not funny ok?
J: Quite funny leh.
Me: Whatever.
J: Then he say you should settle down. Since there’s a girl who wants you.
Me: Not as though no other girls want me…
J: Ya lor.
She playfully grabbed my crotch. I pushed her head down playfully. She tried
to unzip my jeans. I stopped her.
Me: Oi! Public area la!
J: You scared ah?
Me: Of course la! Police come how?
Me and my fucking mouth. No sooner had I said that, a pair of cops
approached from the back.
Cop: What are you two doing? Show me your ICs.
Great. Just great.
I produced my driving license instead while Jenny surrendered her IC.
Cop: You deaf or what? I said IC.
Part of me wanted to fuck him upside down. But I held back. I gave him my
11B.
Cop: Oh. Regular. What are you trying to do?
Me: We were just talking.
Cop: I saw something else.
J: Hello sir, just what did you see?
Cop: You unzipped his pants.
J: Fooling around cannot ah?
Cop: You better watch your tone or I’ll charge you with disorderly behaviour
and obstructing a public servant.
Me: Sorry. She’s drunk.
Cop: Ok. I give you chance since you civil servant.
Me: Thank you.
In my mind I was cursing him. The cops left us alone.
J: Dickheads.
Me: Yeah.
J: I’m quite high. You wanna go hotel or not?
Me: I’m horny but I don’t think it’s sex that I want.
J: Bullshit. We go hotel now see what happen la.
Me: Never mind la. I send you home.
J: Sure or not?
Me: Ya lah. Let’s go.
We caught a cab back to Jenny’s place and I sent her to her door.
J: You ok?
Me: I’m fine.
J: You sure? You seem a little depressed.
Me: Normal.
J: Come in la.
Me: Don’t want la. Not nice.
J: My parents are overseas. Only Jason is home.
Me: Damn paiseh la. If he finds out I’m fucking you how?
J: Please la. I’m an adult liao. Somemore I was the one who seduced you. I’m
quite tired. You wanna come in or not?
Me: Ok.
We proceeded straight to her room. She immediately stripped.
Me: Eh. I told you I don’t want to fuck.
J: Who wants to fuck? I’m gonna shower.
Me: Orh.
J: You wanna shower or not? I’ll get you a towel.
Me: Ok.
Jenny went to get me a towel and I removed my clothes. Dirty thoughts
entered my mind and I got a hard on.
Jenny reappeared with the towel. She stared at my manhood.
J: I thought you said you didn’t wanna fuck?
Me: Sorry la. I got horny when I saw you naked.
J: So you wanna fuck or not??
Me: No need.
J: Sure?
Me: Sure.
J: At least shower together la.
Me: Ok.
We proceeded to the bathroom. Under the shower, she kept teasing me by
rubbing herself on me. My hard on persisted.
J: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing.
J: Then why aren’t you touching me?
Me: Your toilet is a little cramped.
J: Since when did space affect you?
Me: Huh?
J: Never mind.
We finished showering, dried ourselves and headed back to her room. I was
still sporting a raging hard on. She lay on her bed, I sat on the edge. It
was only a super single, and we used to have a lot of fun on it previously.
This time, it was really strange. My body was definitely telling me it
wanted some pussy, but somehow or another, my mind refused to work in
tandem.
Jenny pulled me towards her and in a swift motion, got on top of me. She was
still naked, while I was wearing my boxers, looking pretty ridiculous with
my cock still forming a tent.
J: Seriously, what’s wrong?
Me: I really don’t know.
J: Random erection that won’t go away?
Me: Maybe.
J: It’s quite a serious medical condition right?
Me: How would I know?
She pulled off my boxers and I didn’t resist. She grabbed my cock.
J: It’s damn hard. I thought when you drink too much you can’t get a full
erection?
Me: You mean me or guys in general?
J: I mean generally.
Me: I don’t know.
J: Did you take drugs or something?
Me: What?! No. I don’t think so…
She grabbed my cock and pushed it towards my stomach before letting go. It
sprang back into its original position.
Me: What are you doing?
J: Testing it.
Me: So now you’re a doctor?
J: No la. I’m amused by it. Usually, you’re not this hard. And usually, I
would be riding on it by now. So tell me, what’s wrong?
Me: I really don’t know.
J: Fine. Take your time and think about it. I’m not about to let this go to
waste…
Jenny opened her bedside drawer and took out some lube.
Me: What’s that for?
J: I’m not wet you idiot. You didn’t make me.
Me: Then don’t fuck me if you’re not horny.
J: Oh course I’m horny. Just not wet.
She lubed herself and spread some of it on my dick.
J: You don’t mind right?
Me: Why should I?
J: I don’t know, you’ve been acting weird.
She lowered herself onto the pole. All the way. I flinched a little when I
felt my dickhead hit her cervix.
J: OHHHH YESSS….
Me: Keep it down will you? Jason’s next door. We never fucked when he was
home.
J: He’s a pig la. He won’t wake up.
She continued riding while I lay there like a human dildo.
J: Ahhh… Actually… Uhhhh…. I know what’s…. Yes… wrong with you…
Me: Could you stop and speak properly?
She did, but rubbed her clit on me while I was still prodding her cervix.
J: It’s that girl right?
Me: I don’t know.
J: You’re torn. You like her. Love maybe. You want her back.
Me: Maybe.
J: But you… ahhh… can’t give up sex with me…
Me: Don’t think so highly of yourself…
J: And other girls you sleep with… Yes….
Me: Like who?
J: Wait.
She rubbed harder, biting her lower lip to suppress her moans. Within a few
more strokes, she heaved a sigh of relief.
J: Ok. Where was I?
Me: The other girls I sleep with. Who? I only sleep with you frequently, the
rest are like one off.
I expected her to get off. But she did not.
J: Damn. You’re still hard. I could do this all night.
Me: Could you focus on the question?
J: Oh. Sorry.
She started grinding again and I did not stop her.
J: You want variety. Sex with other girls is thrilling. Yet you want
stability.
Me: That sounds logical. And are you seriously gonna use me again?
J: Baby, I could go the whole night as long as you’re hard. You sure you
didn’t take anything?
I tried to recall any instance where an illegal substance was slipped into
my drink but could not.
Me: Pretty sure I didn’t.
J: Well, too bad for you. Good for me.
I was a bit irritated and tried to shove Jenny off, but she pushed herself
further down on my cock and lay on my chest.
J: Don’t like that leh…
She kissed me. I pushed her away. But she remained firmly stuck to my
crotch.
J: You don’t like having a girl on your cock?
Me: It’s not that la. I’ve been feeling quite strange recently.
J: And you forgot how to have sex?
Me: No I didn’t.
J: Then?
Me: It’s just… I don’t know…
J: We’re fuck buddies ok? I’m not your girlfriend. Put aside your feelings
and just go with the flow!
Me: I can’t.
J: You used to be able to…
Me: Yeah.
J: Why did you message me then?
Me: I thought maybe we could talk.
J: Then why the hell do you have a constant erection?
Me: I don’t know.
J: It’s been like half an hour…
Me: So?
J: I really read somewhere that if your erection is too long, it’s quite
bad. Have to amputate.
Me: What?!
I immediately tried to sit up. Jenny shifted too, and wrapped her legs
around my back. She still refused to get off.
Me: Oi…. Get off la…
J: Don’t want.
I got off the bed and stood up. She grabbed me tighter, her arms and legs
wrapped around my back.
Me: Jenny, please.
She started kissing my neck, and nibbling on my ear lobes.
Truthfully, I was fucking horny. But somehow my thoughts alternated between
banging her till she screamed, and not doing anything at all.
And then it hit me. She was probably right. I did like Shirley a lot. And it
was not because sex with her was bad, but I guess I was so used to having
Jenny as a fuck buddy that it felt normal to fuck her.
But then again, Shirley and I were not attached. Not officially anyway. I
knew she liked me, but I did not think too much about it. I assumed that she
would be there forever.
I sensed a slackening of Jenny’s grip and broke free. I placed her on the
bed. She lay down, spread her legs and beckoned to me.
I lay down next to her. She snuggled up to me.
J: So how?
I smiled at her.
J: Well.
I pointed at my crotch. It was flaccid.
J: What!!! You’re playing games with me issit?
Me: No. I kind of understand now. I’ve been treating her badly.
J: And before you realised that you could maintain a fucking hard erection
for so long?
Me: I don’t know about that la…
Jenny kissed me again, forcing her tongue into my mouth. This time I
reciprocated, pulling her towards me, our tongues fighting their close
combat war.
After five minutes of frenching, she broke away, trailing her tongue down my
neck, teasing my nipples, my ribcage, and down to my thighs. She stopped and
looked up at me.
J: Now can we fuck?
Me: Erm.
J: Pretend I’m her la.
Me: No.
J: Then pretend I’m me lor.
Me: That doesn’t make any sense.
She held my flaccid cock in her hands and ran her tongue from my balls up to
the head. I shuddered but did not feel myself rising to the occasion.
J: Ewww… Can you go wash it? The dried lube and my juices taste funny.
Me: You don’t have to give me a blowjob you know…
J: Hey. We’re fuck buddies. And I want to get fucked. Now go wash it.
Sighing, I got up, wrapped the towel around my waist and headed to the
common bathroom, taking care to be as quiet as I could so I would not wake
Jason up and have him chew my head off for banging his little sister. I
wondered what he would do if he found out.
Yeah. That’s me. I realised I was wrong in the way I treated Shirley and yet
there I was, in my fuck buddy’s house, doing the exact thing Shirley was so
pissed about.
I guess one fine day it will all come full circle, and I will get what I
deserve…
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shuang_Jie_Gun
very nice write up. u got another fan here. Cheers.
thanks for the support guys. updates may be slow or crappy. i’ve been alternating between depression and normality recently. drinking every night…
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mclovin
so go reconcile with Shirley
btw not to surprise you… i think i know you and shirley
er. PM me.
I washed my dick and headed back into Jenny’s room. She was snuggled up
under the covers and snoring lightly.
Just as well. I bent down and kissed her forehead. She did not stir.
I got dressed and let myself out, find the spare key exactly where it was.
It was only 6am but the sun was already up, its warm rays permeating from
the little cloud cover there was. I lit a stick as I stepped away from the
lift lobby, took and long drag, and proceeded to empty the contents of my
stomach on a little shrub by the side of the footpath.
My head was extremely clear, and now, so was my stomach. I had been an ass
in the way I was treating Shirley. And I had to do something about it before
it was too late.
I hailed a cab from the main road and instructed the driver to go to her
place. The short journey there was apparently not short enough to keep me
awake, and the driver had to rouse me from my restless slumber upon reaching
the destination. I headed up to the flat I called home for a pretty
substantial period of time.
It seemed as though nothing had changed.
Just as I was about to ring the doorbell, I heard chatter from the other
side.
Something came over me. No, it was not another wave of nausea. I ran towards
the staircase and hid there, waiting to see who would appear.
True enough, the door opened and a guy stepped out. He looked familiar but I
could not place where I had seen him before. Shirley appeared in the
doorway, dressed in a brown Army T-shirt, one of mine no doubt, one that we
were no longer allowed to wear due to the issuance of the new green ones.
She gave the guy a hug and pulled him in for a kiss.
Strange feelings overcame me as I watched the scene unfold. Here was the
girl who had harboured a crush on me for the longest time. The girl who
saved her virginity for me and yet had it taken in the most unpleasurable of
manners. The girl who took me in and let me stay in her house when I did not
have my own. The girl who willingly gave her entire heart and soul to me not
expecting much in return.
The girl who was now kissing another guy whom I knew from somewhere.
The saddest thing was that it was my own fault. Mostly.
Perhaps if I had paid more consderation to her feelings, she would not have
run into the waiting arms of another guy.
From my spot at the staircase, I could see everything clearly. Part of me
wanted to rush up to them and confront them, and yet the other part
rationalised that it was my fault and that I should leave them alone.
Shirley appeared happy, and who was I to dictate who she should be seeing or
sleeping with? Considering I could not provide the happiness she wanted.
I watched as they broke from their embrace. I think Shirley caught sight of
me and actually made a move towards the staircase. I quickly ran 2 floors
down and headed for the lift.
As luck had it, he was in the lift going down.
Maybe I looked like crap after drinking so much. Maybe I smelt bad. But I
remember the look of disdain I received when I entered the lift.
And he looked really really familiar.
I tried to recall where I had seen him before. Was he one of my ex-recruits?
It did not seem likely as most of my recruits were still around, some of the
previous intake had signed on, so he probably was not from my battalion.
Suddenly his phone rang, and he identified himself.
Fuck, he an inspector in the police force. Most likely a NSF as he looked
really young. Unless he was scholar material and signed on, but if he was,
he probably would be studying now.
Ok. So I was jealous. This guy was probably better than me in more ways than
one.
Maybe it was best that Shirley was with him. At least she would have a
better life. Or so I hoped.
As we exited the lift, I intended to follow him to see where he was going
and possibly figure out where I had seen him before. But the dude walked
really fast and my hangover prevented me from catching up with him.
At the car park, he got into a BMW convertible and drove off. So he was
rich, or relatively well-off. Or his parents were.
With that in mind, it more or less made me realise that with him, Shirley
would be well taken care of.
Resigning to my fate, I dropped her a text.
Me: I’m sorry for everything. Enjoy your new life.
As expected, there was no reply.
I hailed a cab and headed back to camp.
I reached back camp around 8am and practically crawled to my bunk. The
journey up to the 4th floor seemed absurdly long.
I fumbled for my bunk keys and flopped onto my bed like a dead fish,
removing my clothes at the same time. My phone decided that enough was
enough and jumped out of my pocket, landing on the floor.
I promptly KOed, not realising that the battery of my useless phone had
detached itself from the main body, effectively rendering me uncontactable.
It was only around 9pm, when the COS came knocking on my bunk door to see
why the fuck I was still around that I awoke.
COS: Sergeant, never go back?
Me: Huh? Er. Not feeling well…
COS: Sergeant, the BOS say whoever not supposed to be in camp must ask them
go home.
Me: Basket, I got no home la. Who’s the BOS?
COS: SSG Nick.
Me: Orh. He ah? Nvm, I call him.
I searched for my phone, and found it in pieces on the ground.
Me: Fuck.
COS: Sergeant, you ok or not?
Me: Fuck la, we’re both sergeants, stop calling me sergeant can?
The COS was a junior spec from another platoon.
COS: Sorry sergeant!
I waved him off and called SSG Nick once my phone was revived. I ignored the
couple of SMSes that came through.
Me: Hello? Encik? Enigma here ah. I currently don’t have a house to go to,
staying in camp, my OC knows about this.
SSG Nick was the Battalion’s Intelligence Sergeant, a relatively nice guy, I
encountered him a few times when I was the COS.
N: Bro, don’t like that leh, CO and RSM say dunno what work-life balance,
all go home la. Somemore now Saturday night man, you no girlfriend?
Me: Don’t have la.
N: Can go out or something or not? Don’t come back until tomorrow night la.
My BOS report must write all those who still in camp leh.
Me: Encik, help la. I really have no where to go.
N: Bro, it’s not healthy to stay in camp all the time la, even though you
have problems. Go out, enjoy yourself. 2300hrs I’ll ask the COS to check
again, if you are still around, I’ll recommend you to the paracounsellor.
Me: Wah lau Encik, can don’t so kua zhang or not?
N: Bro, it’s for your own good.
Me: Yes, encik.
He hung up and I checked my SMSes.
There was one from Jenny, a couple from Alex, and one from an unfamiliar
number.
I dealt with Alex’s SMSes first, which were basically him berating me for
leaving Armani without saying goodbye, or taking a girl with me, and asking
me to go back that night to finish up the bottles. I politely declined and
told him to have fun.
Jenny’s SMS was next, she wanted to know why I left without a word and asked
me to go over that night as she did not have any plans, maybe we could hang
out. However the SMS was sent 6 hours ago, and I doubt she was still free,
so I replied asking her to call me if she still wanted me over.
The unfamiliar SMS was next. Some dude (or I assume it was a dude) told me
to stay out of Shirley’s life.
Unknown: You hurt her enough. She’s happy now. Don’t ever look her up again.
Or else.
I figured it was probably her new cop boyfriend. I did not like his tone so
I replied.
Me: Or else what? She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. I don’t
see how this is any of your concern.
After replying, I went to take a shower and changed into fresh clothes. I
checked my phone again. No reply from the cop. But there was a new SMS from
Jenny, and SSG Nick.
N: Went off yet? You have about 1.5 hours.
I replied.
Me: Going off now. Sorry for the trouble.
I did not expect a reply but it came anyway.
N: Good. Take care of yourself. Remember God is with us always.
I did not know he was a Christian.
I read Jenny’s SMS and got a shock.
J: In pain. Come quick. No one home.
I grabbed my car keys, rushed to my car and left camp.
I must have been doing at least 130km/h on the highway. I had no idea what
came over me, or why I was so concerned about Jenny. She was after all, just
my fuck buddy.
I reached her place in a record time of 15 minutes (it usually takes around
I expected Jason to open the door but no one did. I kept ringing the
doorbell and knocking on the door. For five minutes, there was no response.
I wanted to call Jason to see where he was and tell him that his little
sister was unwell, but before I could hit the “call” button, Jenny opened
the door and unlocked the gate.
She was dressed in her nightgown without underwear and she was deathly pale.
I could see that she was struggling.
As she opened the gate to let me in, her knees buckled under her but I
managed to catch her in time.
Throwing her arm over my shoulder, I helped her back inside, shutting the
gate in the process.
Me: You’re burning up. What’s wrong?
J: I don’t know.
And she fainted.
Me: Shit.
I carried her to her room and lay her on the bed. I looked around for towels
and a basin to sponge her.
I found the basin but could not find appropriate towels.
Short of rummaging through her parents’ room, I mustered up my courage and
gave Jason a call.
Me: Bro, before you say anything, please hear me out…
To my surprise, Jason did not sound shocked that I was alone in his house
with his sister, or that I was the one she called when she was ill, instead
of him.
He told me where to find the towels, and I filled the basin with ice water
and soaked the towels before bringing it to Jenny’s room. Her
airconditioning was turned on at full blast and even I was shivering.
I shook her lightly.
Me: Hey. Wake up.
She stirred.
J: Help me.
Me: You’ve got a fever. What happened?
J: I don’t know. After I messaged you I went back to sleep with a headache.
Then I started feeling really hot. Then u message back then I asked you to
come.
Me: I’m going to sponge you to bring the fever down. Do you have a
thermometer?
J: Somewhere. Storeroom I think.
Me: Ok. I’ll find it later.
J: Take off my clothes.
Me: Ok.
I gingerly removed her nightgown and placed it by the side.
Me: You still want the aircon?
J: Yeah.
Me: No. I’ll turn it off. I’m gonna sponge you. You might get sicker.
J: Ok. Bring the fan in from the hall.
I turned off the aircon and folded a few towels, placing them on her
forehead, neck and armpits. I pulled her blanket over her lower half to
protect her modesty before heading to the hall to grab the standing fan.
I flipped the towel on her forehead and she weakly grabbed my hand.
J: Thanks.
Me: Don’t mention it.
J: You’ll make that special girl very happy one day.
I did not answer as Jenny released my hand and drifted back to sleep.
I sat there contemplating about what she said and realised that it probably
was true.
Essentially, I was a nice guy. I treated girls well. Maybe just not the girl
I was supposed to. I could not explain why.
A tear formed at my eye but I quickly wiped it off.
I got up and went to find the thermometer. Thankfully it was an ear
thermometer.
Just as I was about the head back to Jenny’s room, the front door opened.
Jason was home.
Jas: Bro, I need to talk to you.
Me: Yes?
Jas: I don’t know what your relationship with my sister is, and frankly I
know what kind of person you are.
Me: Uh huh…
Jas: But I’ve known you for a decade. You’re a good guy. My sister needs a
good guy.
Me: Dude, don’t misunderstand. We’re friends.
Jas: But close enough for her to call you? I didn’t even know you were on
talking terms.
I decided to be honest.
Me: Bro, you know some of the girls I slept with?
Jas: Fuck. Don’t tell me.
Me: She’s one of them.
Jas: Fuck you bro! She’s my sister!
Me: Sorry. It happened.
Jas: How long? Weeks? Months?
Me: 6 years.
Jas: What the fuck.
Me: I’ve got nothing to say.
Jas: If you weren’t my good friend, I’d beat the shit out of you. And you
can still act like normal around us?
Me: It’s not something I want the world to know…
Jas: Shit you. Really. I expected better.
Jenny called out from the room.
We both entered.
Jas: Fuck. Why didn’t you tell me she’s naked?
Me: I’m sure you’ve seen her naked before.
Jas: Not when she’s this, erm, developed…
Jen: Kor. Shut the fuck up. Would you have rushed over if I called you?
Me: Jen, it’s ok.
Jas: Er. You’re right. I wouldn’t.
Jen: So shut up. At least he cares about me.
Jas: Bro, you’re a real bastard. I’ve got nothing to say. What about
Shirley?
Me: It’s over bro.
Jas: So now it’s Jenny you want?
Jen: I’m not the one he wants. But at least he cares. So fuck off to your
room and let him take care of me.
Me: Bro, I’m really sorry. But what’s happened has happened. Jenny’s not
well now, and I’ll do what I have to do.
Jas: Do as you wish.
He left the room. I sat on the bed, took off the towels, re-soaked them, ad
replaced them on Jenny.
Me: Hush. Go back to sleep.
She closed her eyes. I took her temperature. 39.5.
Me: I check on you in an hour.
I left the room and joined Jason in the living room. His Chivas was open and
he poured a glass for me.
Jas: Drink.
Me: Wait. I thought you were pissed?
Jas: I am. But there’s nothing I can do. You’re still my friend. And you’re
taking care of my sister.
Me: Thanks bro.
Jas: I don’t approve. But what’s done cannot be undone. And at least I know
it’s you and not some other lowlife.
Me: Long story bro. Long story.
Jas: We’ve got all night.
Jason and I chatted till it was time to check on Jenny.
I entered her room. She had flung her blanket off and removed the towels. I
checked the temperature again. 38.5. At least it was dropping.
I brushed her hair off her forehead and replaced the towel. She woke.
J: Hmm?
Me: Don’t wake up. You’re still feverish.
J: Thanks.
Me: It’s fine really.
J: Do you have feelings for me?
Me: Huh?
J: Do you like me?
Me: Erm.
J: You’re really nice to me. Not just the sex.
Me: I don’t like you that way.
J: I know. But I’ve never felt such care or concern from any other guy.
Me: I’d treat you the same as anyone else.
J: She doesn’t know how lucky she is.
Me: I didn’t cherish what I had.
J: It’s not too late.
Me: She’s seeing someone else.
J: As long as she’s not married, you still have a chance.
Me: Why are we talking about this?
J: Because you seem unhappy.
Me: I am.
J: So do something about it?
Me: Nah.
J: You’re afraid.
Me: Maybe.
J: Of?
Me: I’ll never be the guy she wants me to be.
J: Did you even try?
Me: Not really…
J: What if one day we stop being fuck buddies and start a real relationship?
Me: You’re kidding right?
J: Nope. I’m getting old. I should settle down…
Me: Old? You aren’t even 25!
J: My eggs need fertilising.
Me: Huh?
J: I want a kid la.
Me: Why?
J: Dunno. Just feel like having one.
Me: I think the fever scrambled your brains.
J: Why leh?
Me: You’re still young. A lot of time to find a proper man. Who’ll treat you
well, provide for you and take care of you.
J: You can tell me all this and yet you can’t do it for that girl?
Me: Hey. This isn’t about me.
J: I know. But she and I are the same. Every girl wants the same thing. Are
you ready?
Me: I don’t think so.
J: Well, if you aren’t ready now, then when? A girl can’t and won’t wait
forever you know?
Me: Are you asking for her or yourself?
J: Don’t avoid the question.
Me: I’m not. You’re still feverish. Go back to sleep.
I soaked the towels again and set them on Jenny.
Me: I’ll be back.
She drifted off to sleep again and I rejoined Jason for drinks.
I never realised that Jenny was actually so mature in her thinking. No doubt
she enjoyed sex a lot, but what she just told me was years beyond her age
and maturity. In my opinion of course.
Jason poured me another glass.
Jas: Bro, you need to think about your life.
Me: Yeah.
Jas: What I’ve heard from you about Shirley tells me that you really like
her, but I believe you’re afraid of committment.
Me: Maybe.
Jas: Jenny is the same as you. I can’t even count the number of guys she’s
been with. And now I find out you’re one of them.
Me: It was an oversight.
Jas: An oversight that lasted 6 years?
Me: Hey.
Jas: I really can’t get that image out of my mind.
I decided I really should not be more honest than I already have, and tell
him everything that Jenny and I did, including the threesome with my
half-brother.
Me: She’s not as innocent as you think.
Jas: I know. But she’s still my sister!
Me: I can pretend to be apologetic about it, but I’m not going to lie to
you…
Jas: Yeah. That’s a damn big problem of yours. You’re too fucking honest.
Me: And that’s a bad thing?
Jas: No… But just don’t let my parents know. You’re like a family friend.
Brother-in-law material, most likely not.
Me: Haha. She’s not interested in me that way.
Jas: Are you sure?
Me: Damn. No.
Jas: There was a period of time when she kept asking about you.
Me: And?
Jas: I figured she’s interested.
Me: Is, or was?
Jas: Only you can find out. In any case, I don’t doubt the sexual
compatability of you two, but you know your problem. Don’t make more
mistakes than you already have.
Me: I understand.
We drank a couple more glasses just to finish up the coke and Jason excused
himself.
I lit a cigarette and pondered about everything he said, as well as what
Jenny said to me.
I realised that there were startling similarities between Jenny and Shirley,
other than them being the same age, and their birthdays being a few days
apart.
I slept with both of them on a fairly ocassional basis, and there was no
real talk of a relationship. But in terms of feelings or affection, I was
more inclined towards Shirley. And yet now it seemed that Jenny wanted
something more.
The breakdown of the relationship with Shirley (if we even had a
relationship) had hit me harder than I expected, and suddenly Jenny was sort
of offering herself to me, long term or otherwise. Was she using the
opportunity to get to me emotionally? Would I even be able to commit to her
since I failed so miserably with Shirley?
I lit stick after stick until my pack was empty.
It was time to check on Jenny again.
I entered Jenny’s room again and stuck the thermometer into her ear. 39.5.
It seemed like her temperature was increasing again.
I took the basin to refill the ice but Jenny awoke and stopped me.
J: I don’t feel too good.
Me: Yeah, your fever went up.
She tried to sit up and fell onto me instead.
She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into bed. I lay next to her.
Me: I think I should bring you to see a doctor.
J: Don’t want.
She snuggled up to me.
J: Just lie here with me?
Me: You need to see a doctor, your fever’s pretty high.
She hugged me tighter.
J: Just hug you to sleep.
Me: Bad idea.
I got up.
Me: Get dressed. I’ll bring you to A&E.
She pouted.
J: Fine. Let’s go.
She stood up and walked towards the door.
Me: Erm, maybe you should get dressed?
J: Huh? Oh.
She struggled to find her bra and panties and put on t-shirt and shorts. I
literally had to support her as she was swaying a little. Probably from the
dizziness.
Me: Wallet? Handphone?
She pointed to a clutch on the table and I grabbed them.
Me: You ok to walk?
J: Carry me can?
I looked at her incredulously.
Me: Serious?
J: Please…
I sighed.
Me: Ok.
I contemplated a piggy-back but she did not seem to be comfortable with it
so I simply cradled her in my arms, putting her down only to open and close
the door.
She appeared to be enjoying herself, burying her head into my shoulder as I
carried her to the car park, unlocked my car, and placed her in the
passenger seat.
J: You’ll do this on our wedding day right?
Me: I think you’re delirious.
J: I think we are good together.
Me: I think you need a doctor.
I started the car and drove to Changi General Hospital.
J: Do you think we’ll be happy?
Me: Jenny, please. I’m afraid of committment.
J: You finally admitted it.
Me: Yes.
J: What are you afraid of?
Me: I don’t know.
J: Are you going to give up one relationship because another didn’t work
out?
Me: A couple of years ago you didn’t think this way. All you wanted was sex.
J: Maybe I grew up?
Me: You’re still young.
J: I know.
Me: Then?
J: I also know that if there’s one guy who could make me happy, take care of
me, give me good sex, it would be you.
Me: You don’t know that.
J: Hasn’t the sex been good?
Me: Well, yes.
J: Aren’t you taking care of me?
Me: For now, yes.
J: Do you think I’m happy?
Me: Only you can answer that question.
J: Well, I’m happy now.
Me: What if you aren’t next time?
J: Are you going to treat me bad?
Me: I don’t know.
J: Maybe it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Me: Look. You’ve a high fever. Maybe you aren’t thinking straight.
J: I’ve never been more lucid.
Me: Maybe I don’t like you.
J: Then why come when I messaged?
Me: You’re sick! I would do that for any girl!
J: You did it for me. That’s good enough.
Me: Do you seriously like me?
J: Not that much.
Me: Huh?
J: Sometimes being in a relationship is not all about love. I want someone
who will take care of me. You’re doing that right now. I love it when your
dick is inside me.
Me: You love it when other dicks are inside you too…
J: True. But they don’t take care of me.
Me: Did you message any of them?
J: Nope. Only you.
Me: You’re nuts.
J: Perhaps. But I believe you’ll continue to take care of me.
Me: You can never be certain.
J: I trust you.
Me: I don’t even trust myself.
J: I’m not asking you to get married now.
Me: Why are you even asking me to get married?
J: Hmm. I never really thought about that.
Me: Then?
J: I just want a baby.
Me: Ok. You’re really crazy. I’ll talk to you when you don’t have a fever.
J: Fine. Be in denial. You like me.
It was really the wrong time for Jenny to be doing this to me, so soon after
Shirley totally blew me off.
The rest of the journey to CGH was spent in silence, we did not even talk
when she registered at A&E. She went for triage and saw the doctor herself.
I stoned at the waiting area the whole time.
Even after she came out, we were silent. She collected and paid for her
medication and headed out to the taxi stand.
Me: Hey! Where are you going?
J: Taking a cab.
Me: Why?
J: Cos you don’t care about me.
Me: But I do!
And instantly regretted it.
J: I knew it!
She dumped her clutch bag and medicines on me and headed to the open air car
park.
Me: Hey wait. You know I didn’t mean it that way.
J: No I don’t. You said you care about me. Don’t go back on your word.
Me: Crazy. I’ll send you home.
Suddenly, she sat on the pavement and refused to move.
Me: What now?
J: You don’t care about me. I’m going to sit here.
What a time to be throwing tantrums.
Me: Oi. How old already. Grow up please.
She still refused to move. I grabbed her hand and she screamed.
J: Molest!
Me: Are you crazy?!
J: Nope.
Me: What do you want?
J: Tell me you love me and will take care of me for the rest of my life.
Me: What?
J: You heard me.
Me: You’re crazy.
J: Rapist! Molester!
Luckily it was in the wee hours of the morning and probably no one heard
her. I squatted down to her level.
J: Say it.
Me: No.
J: Want me to scream again?
Me: No.
J: Then say it.
What in the world was she up to?
J: I’m waiting. And I’m sick. Don’t make me wait so long.
In order to get her moving, I did as I was told.
Me: I love you, and I want to spend my life taking care of you.
Jenny broke into a smile and pulled me in for a long, wet kiss.