- weight loss, 2) eating habit, 3) lost of sleep, 4) get nervous easily, 5) At times, talk to himself. 6) He do not know himself.
Her boyfriend called and he was waiting at her office downstairs. She told me what happened after she put down the phone and I make a 45 degree turn, no question asked. I never get a chance then to see her boyfriend, but the feeling was terrible.
The next day which is a Saturday, she called me up early in the morning and chit chat. I have to admit I missed her and so I asked her whether she want lunch together since her boyfriend was working. At first, she didn’t want; say she can’t go to town in case her boyfriend called to check on her. I told her that I didn’t mind going to her area or rather her boyfriend area since she is staying with him now. She agreed.
Just as I was about the leave the house, she called me to asked me whether I am going out later as she bought something for me and knowing I wouldn’t like to carry it with me if I am going out. I told her yes and insisted to know what she has bought as I didn’t want any expensive present from her.
Me : Aiya, what you buy for me? I don’t want any present from you lah.
DD : Is ok, anyway I have already buy. It’s just a brief (underwear). Thought it look nice on you.
Me : Don’t know lah. Anyway later I go out, don’t want take a box of underwear around. (thinking why all my girlfriends like to buy brief for me. Those I buy also not ugly)
DD : Hmmmmm…..why not you come don’t wear, later u go kopithiam toilet to put on.
After much here and there, finally I relent.
Finally I reached her place, it was from one corner of Singapore to another, but to me is worth it. I called her and asked her to come down meet me, but she say she was not ready and needed a while more with her housework and ask me to go up waited for her.
Seriously, I wasn’t thinking of anything initially, but when she asked me go up, my lower head started to think of something before my top head. I went up and she invited me in saying she need more time. Then she led me to the room, passed me the underwear and asked me to change. She left without closing the door, leaving me hard and don’t know what to think of. I started to unzip my jeans when I heard her coming in; she was holding some laundry and she just put it on the chair next to me. By then, my jeans is already half way down, showing my hard cock. She looked at it, move to me, and ask me “Can I?” I knew what she meant and responded with a yes. She knelt down and started to suck me. The feeling of my cock in her mouth was good, and after a while, I pulled her up, kissed her while at the same time, undressing both of us. Soon, we were in bed, dragon fighting the phoenix. I stayed there from 11am to 8pm.
After that, things change; we didn’t remain just lunch mates, but every Saturday, when her boyfriend was off to work, I would sneak in and spent time with her.
Two month later, I can’t take this relationship anymore. Ironically I asked her to choose between one of us. She asked me not to force her, but I insisted as I don’t feel right about this relationship at all. Finally after some arguement, she gave in and asked me to give her 1 week to think through.
We still maintained our lunch meetings for the next two days which on the third day, she asked me whether I would like to go over to her place as she was on leave and her boyfriend was on an oversea trip for four days. Of course I went over, and yes we fucked most of the time, but for the next few days it was special.
We took leave on the next day, both of us. We woke up and she made me breakfast, on her computer for me to play, bring me hot tea to drink, make lunch for me, fuck a bit in the afternoon, boiled home make barley, took a nap together, cook dinner together, watch tv together and we didn’t do all these just on that day but for the next two days. I have to leave on the fourth day as her boyfriend would be coming back. Those three days was heaven to me.
Yes I know I am an asshole, but I was madly in love then, and during that 3 days, she assured me she will leave her boyfriend and even planned with me how to break with him.
7 days is up, I asked for an answer, she told me her boyfriend is giving her a hard time, she needed another week to tell him. I consented.
Another 7 days passed, she called me and asked to meet me at Toa Payoh, where she broke the news that she is breaking up with me. She said she couldn’t leave her boyfriend and when I pressed for an answer, she refused to tell me and walked away, saying she is sorry; leaving me puzzled and hating her and heart broken.
Thanks all bros who take time to read and comments.
Yes, I am an asshole. I have no right to be angry or “hate” her. But at that moment I have to admit, I did have these feelings. She has assured me she will choose me; we even planned on ways she can break with her boyfriend, but why the sudden change. My world came crushing down. What happen? She refused to tell me. I called her up after she walked away seeking for an answer but she just refused to tell me. Was it that he had something over her? What happened? She just refused to tell me. All she say was she is sorry and she still loves me.
My anger turned into disappointment and worry by the end of the day, still worrying what had happened. Disappointed because I was all geared up to be with her; I was ready to take back my rental unit to stay with her, forgoing my $2500 monthly rental; everyday dreaming about spending time with her; enjoying our world; but it crushed all of a sudden and not even knowing why. Worried because I didn’t know what happen; is he holding something against her.
For the next few days I earnestly seek an answer, but she just refused, crying saying she is sorry, she didn’t mean it and that she still loves me. Finally I gave up after she assured me she is ok and nothing is held against her by her boyfriend. She asked me whether can we still be friends and would love to continue to meet up with me for lunch. I told her yes, at least to me I can still spent time with her. However we understand that things can never be the same again and we make a pact that we stop meeting in private, no more lovely dovely, no more kisses and of course no more sex. I guessed that is the best we can do since the break up.
We still met for lunch but not that often; but each time I met her, it was a terrible feeling inside. It was like we love each other but yet we can’t respond to that love. I knew she wasn’t happy at all and it hurts me to see that.
One week later the break up, after our lunch, I sent her back to her office. As usual, by then I would take my leave; but she asked me whether I can accompany her up. I knew something is coming and I knew is against our pact and is unfair to her boyfriend; but I can’t help it. I accompany her up. Half way the staircase at a corner, she asked me whether she can hug me as she missed me; without further ado, like a hungry lion, I grabbed her and we kissed violently. Yes, we have sex on that staircase that afternoon; a quickie. She was hungrily unzipping me and pulling out my dick while I turned her around, pull up her skirt and down her panties. Yes I am again an asshole. Yes, we wanted each other so much that we just let things happen. No, I didn’t shoot into her. Yes, that staircase contains my sperm.
After that, for the next few meet up with her, even a blind man can see that she is more cheerful, happy. About our sex life, yes, we continued back to meet every Saturday and also having exciting quickies on the staircase.
By now, I think most bros are tired of our break up and patch back. But the key question to me then is still what make her broke her promise to me by refusing to be with me. She rather has a secret love affair with me than to be my girlfriend.
One Saturday, as usual I was with her. I was meddling with her notebook as she was busy doing the household chores. I came across, through her history, her blog. She never mentioned to me she has a blog. I read it; it was normal, nothing much as she didn’t update it much. One blog leads to another; I clicked on it and realized it was her boyfriend’s blog. I read it from the beginning and as I read, then something from the blog shocked me.
Thanks to those brothers that up me and those that encourages and advise me.
I was shocked in what I read. In his blog, it was written he actually knew DD for many years and was her boyfriend for a few years. DD had tried to break up with him once, but he went into a depression and got crazy and threaten DD that if she leaves him, he will go oversea for good never to return. Below are some abstract from his blog,
Suddenly, I realise my character began to change, I started to speak differently to her.
I cursed her, giving her rude remarks.
She was shocked that this is not the me she knew…
I was always romantic, never curse, warm, forgiving, no foul words…
It was not me at all…
We went off to sleep and I did not sleep a drop.
I woke up early and was not myself.
I cried, she saw me and came to hug me.
But I was like talking to myself and looking at things around the house.
I kept talking to myself and I was finding for places to hide.
At one time I went into the walk-in wardrobe and was hiding around the clothes.
I wanted to go out but she kept all the house keys and my wallet.
She refused to let me out as she was worry that I might do something foolish.
She only let me out if she follows me but I wanted to go alone.
After 1 hour, she let me out, I ran but she followed.
I walked 1 round with her and came back.
I told her that I am considering to leave SG.
It will not be a temporary one but it will be a permanent one.
She cried so hard, she begged me not to leave her.
That she wants me to stay in SG and that she needs me.
She does not know how to answer to my mum as it will hurt the old lady heart.
But this is the only choice that I can do to forget her.
I am doing it for her and not myself.
She admitted to me that I am still her hubby, that she still have love and feeling for me.
That she don’t want a break up…
Both knew that there was something that is preventing this break off.
Later, I tried to recall the happening but I can’t fully remembered.
In the end, I told her that the doctor dignosed that I was suffering from depression.
She was in shock, she did not knew it and that she has caused this to me.
She told me not blame myself, to love someone can be very painful.
She now at this very hour is waiting for my decision.
Am I able to accept her back as my lover?
To some brothers, this might seen confusing. What happened was, DD tried to break up with him once before. She found someone, but her boyfriend refused to let her go and go into depression. In the end, he amazingly turned the table over and made DD guilty. After that incident, DD’s boyfriend started to check on all her bills, what she spent on her credit cards, check on her handphone call logs and messages, her bank statement, call her every hour to check where she is, emails, etc
At that time, I was angry and also pitied her. I confronted her about the blog. She broke down and admitted that the reason why she had to gave me up at the 11th hour was that she can’t bear to see him going into another stage of depression and that she doesn’t want to see him leaving Singapore permantently leaving his mother all alone here as he is the only child. I was hot, to me this is all just an act to keep her; how can this guy treated her like that; I wanted to confront him, but DD stopped me. We hugged as I comforted her and she cried herself to sleep in my arms. I was in no mood to sleep as I was more determine to “save” her from this guy.
To clear the air on why she didn’t tell me about him when we met, that’s because she treated me as a fling initially and she see no reason to tell me; but after she falls for me, she didn’t tell me as she has no solution to her current situation until after I didn’t accept her the first time.
P.s : Lolz, when I told my friend about this, he is more interested in the depression story so that he know what to tell the doctor to excuse himself from reservist.
Thanks all the bro for both positive and negative comments.
I have to admit, I did tried to persuade her to leave him as I felt painful for her. I felt it was not fair to her. She claims she loves me more than him, but didn’t want to leave him because she doesn’t want him to go through another round of depression. I felt she was noble but yet sorry for her as she had to go through all these. I wanted to protect her, love her; thus I can’t bear to see her going through all these. At the same time, I also slowly turn my anger towards DD’s boyfriend into pity, so after a while I stopped trying to persuade her.
Seriously I did entertain the thought of wanting to leave this relationship; but then every times her “I love you” would melt my heart. This relationship is no longer a fling but emotion is involved in it. I hung on to it, at times hoping she will one day choose me. So officially I become a “mistress”.
Months passed and we have our many good times. I remember celebrating her birthday and seeing her so happy was a joy to me. Despite a typical “mistress” life, like last minute can’t meet me coz the boyfriend meeting her; or when I talking to her over the phone, boyfriend call I have to put down the phone; secretly meeting her; I was still pinning on the hope that she will one day choose me.
One day, a bomb shell drop on me. She called me one night and told me her boyfriend has proposed to her and she has accepted the proposal. They will be getting engage three months later. I was stunned after I heard the news; immediately I knew all my wishing thinking hopes about being with her was destroyed.
That night I couldn’t sleep at all. Finally I came out from my bed and on my computer and wrote her a letter at 4am in the morning. Of course I created an email account where her boyfriend has no access to and put it there.
This is an abstract from the letter
Dear DD
It really took me sometimes before I decided to write this letter to you and with great difficulties and pain. For the past many days, I have been thinking a lot about us, what we are doing, where we are going and I found no answer. I knew it was wrong for us to carry on, but the heart has ruled over my head and that I still wanted very much to see you and be with you; however I think after yesterday conversation when you told me about the engagement, I knew it is all over for us.
My world has collapses. I stayed up the whole night pondering what is happening. Up to now, I did not come out with any conclusion. I believe you know this relationship meant a lot to me; I rather end it now and keep the good memory rather than things turn ugly for all three of us later.
Even as I am writing now, it brings back so many of the sweet memories with you. Do you know what is the one of the most enjoyable thing I have when with you? It is when you are happy and seeing you smile. It is like a God’s mission for me to make you smile, and by seeing you smile, you have melt my heart and bring joy into me too. I will never forget the day when we celebrate your birthday together; it was so thrilling seeing the excitement you shown on your face as we took the bus to Jurong. Remember the words you told me at the Pub when I asked you whether are you comfortable there? Maybe you have forgotten, but not me. To me, seeing you happy is more than anything else.
I remember then when we first started, it was meant to be a fling, but who would have known it ended up having a relationship evolving. During then, our so call first break up, I was so sad that I knew instantly something is amiss in me because disappointment and sadness grabs my heart. I knew you didn’t have a good time too. For the first time, I have experience my true love as never in my life I have experience this feeling with any girls I dated.
I remember then, we finally got a chance to meet for lunch. I guessed you were sad, and the first thought I have in my mind was to make you smile and happy. I spent that morning searching and learning the song 安靜 and sang to you on the staircase. It was our song. You cried and then break into a smile, that’s all it matter to me and that is to see you smile.
I guess by now you know that you meant a lot to me. I was so worried for you when you came back from your trip sick that I didn’t even bother whether is H1N1 or I be infected; all I knew was that I was worried sick for you and I wanted to fly to you to take care of you and see you. I would have fly down if you have not stop me but still, I am so glad and thankful that you have allowed me to accompany you to see a doctor and let me cuddle you in bed to sleep and buy lunch for you. My worries for you did not stop for the next few days until I knew you are well.
The second break up was like a stab in my heart. I still remember I treated you badly because I was shocked and disappointed. I did not know how to react and up to today I felt so bad in treating like that.
Then, I knew my love with you is so strong that I am prepared to take back my house for you. I was fantasying everyday for that many days about we living together; it must be so sweet and happy. Unfortunately this dream did not happen and like the word I used, it was pure fantasying.I was confuse why you have make that decision, but I choose to respect you because I told myself “loving one person doesn’t mean having her by my side, as long as I know she is happy”; at least that’s how I console my friends.
But I have to admit, that statement is noble and is hard to exercise. It was not an easy period for me. I missed you very badly, I wanted to be able to dote on you, able to protect you, able to do things together with you. In the end, I knew I can’t have any of those moments with you, so I convinced myself just by seeing you and spending some times with you will be good enough.
By some luck, I managed to stumble onto your boyfriend writing about his past experiences with a breakup. At that time, my heart went out for you and him, and only then I understand why you have made this decision. The air has clear for me. I told myself I will wait for you as your decision is not of what you want. I will give you times to settle and I will support you in all ways.
However after learning about the engagement, I knew and understand that you have made your final decision. I guess you know what you want and I will respect your final decision. I have told myself I shouldn’t hold any hopes of us being together anymore.
By continuing on what we are doing only bring more pains to me and you, I hope for your understanding that I did not choose to desert you and as for me, do not worry for me. No doubt I will be sad, but I am strong and I will try my utmost to live by the noble statement, that is to “not having being with you and yet wish to see you happy”.
And because it is you, I wish from my bottom of my heart you and your boyfriend well and happy.
After she read this letter the next morning, she called me and cried over the phone saying how sorry she is; but I was firmed in the break up as I knew that is the last straw for me.
We did talk over msn and occasionally over the phone, but I have set in my mind that our conversations were strictly friends. It was very painful in my heart, but I guessed all good things have to come to an end.
Tick Tock, tick tock….as the day for the engagement is drawing near, it’s like waiting for 2012 to happen. Lolz.
I would like to thanks those bros who up me and taken time to read.
This will be the last installment of this story as all stories need a conclusion and this is the up to date conclusion.
Yes, we did talk occasionally on msn and met for lunch. I knew that as long as we are in the open public place, we are safe; safe from getting intimate, safe from having sex with her. I wanted to; to me that is making love more than having sex; so passionate so loving, I really missed that.
There is one thing that she always do since we started this relationship and that is she would make an effort to call me every day at least once, usually in the morning as we both travel to work separately.
During a week before her engagement, she called me saying she burnt a CD of my favourite animation and asked me to meet her for lunch and to collect from her. I agreed. After we had our lunch, she told me she left the CD in the office and asked me to go with her to collect. I wanted to wait for her downstairs, but seeing me perspiring so much from the hot afternoon, she invited me up for some aircon. I didn’t want to, but she told me its lunch time and I only stayed a while so it’s ok.
Passing through the staircase up her office brought back lots of memories; afterall, we have some many memorable time there. I rebuked myself for thinking that even though the thought did make me hard.
We stepped in the office and I was surprised to see it empty. I asked her where her colleagues were and she replied they went for the company trip leaving her behind to mend the calls. She then stepped forward in front of me and pecked on my lips which caught me by total surprise. What is she thinking and doing? I stepped back and told her I needed to go and headed off even though I wanted that peck but I knew I shouldn’t do anything further.
Very soon, she called me on my mobile and she apologized to me what happened as she cried. She asked me to go back and picked up the CD and said that she did that because she misses me and she will not do it again. I was softened by her crying and I went back. Once I reached there, she was crying and I went over to comfort her. I wanted to hug her but I restrained myself from doing it. I stood just beside her and comforted her; but as she cried she moved over and hugged me tightly. I was lost, but in the end I caved in and returned the hug. The hug was so tight that I am sure she can feel my harden dick. She then looked up to me as our eyes met. Her eyes were tearly and sweet; it melted me and I knew I wanted her very much. I grabbed her head towards me and our lips met. Our kiss slowly raised the heat as it now turned into a very fast pace. We were kissing breathlessly and the next moment she was “tearing” my shirt apart. I stopped the kiss and asked her whether are there any camera, which she answered in a fast “no”. Ok, what happened next is very direct.
After that, foolishly, my hopes of her being with me surfaced again. I asked her one last time, but she again seeks my understanding for her decision and she ended the conversation with a “I’m sorry”.
A few days later, she was engaged and after which she still called me daily.
One week after she was engaged, she called me and asked me to go up her place as she bought a present for me, it was an underwear again. I smelled something not right. It was quite obvious what she wanted. I rejected her. Three days later, she called me and asked me to meet her for lunch to pass me the 2nd part of the CD, again I rejected. Ever since then, she stopped calling me, not even msning me when both of us are online.
Am I sad? Of course I am sad. Am I happy? Yes, in a way that this thing is finally over. Does she really love me? I really don’t know. All I prefer to know is that it has been a sweet memory being with her.
All the best my DD, and wish you happy with him.