Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
i wonder how he can still sleep so soundly when i am tossing, turning and eventually getting up.
i wonder how he can continue with his happy life when he can clearly see how he has destroyed mine.
it is really easy to hate him
but i am so weak.
help me.
i need to sleep. i need to sleep. i still have to work and be there for my son tomorrow.
help me.
Hey there.. please go see the counsellor and stop brooding over it.. it will not help and will only make you more bitter and think and think and think…
Sometimes, there is no answer, no reason, no magical hand deciding your fate.. things just happen and we will all need to cope with it.
Please dun go on sleeping pills ‘coz in the long run, u will only get worse…
Take a day off work and go rest your mind, have coffee… wander around the malls and freshen your mind b4 you think more
Hey, I may be younger than you but I have seen my fair share of ‘clients’ marital woes in my previous life in the social services
So.. hang tough …
Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
I beg you, please pray for me and my son. For He is the only one that can help me now.
The lord will help you but please remember that ultimately, your life is in your hands.
Pray for strength and wisdom but most imptly, pray for love to enter your heart and heal you..
Hi sis, your mail box is full… PM me when you have clear your mailbox… I’ll try to help you to get out of this emotional trauma….
Quote:
Originally Posted by
OC.SIN09
Hi Sis,
A close friend mine once advised me that things happen for a reason.
Huh?
I’ve never heard such crock in all my life!
[QUOTE=adviseme;4147171]Dear Spanner
praise the Lord for intervening in your marriage. glory be to God. May He bless your marriage richly and guide you and your wife through your lives together.
I sure can do with some divine intervention now. I have fasted and prayed for 3 days months ago when he was cold towards me. I started fasting and praying again after his confession on Saturday morning. I am waiting for the Lord to help me, in His time. It is painful but I will wait upon Him.
I wish i could give my marriage another go now but it is out of my hands.
I beg you, please pray for me and my son. For He is the only one that can help me now.[/QUOTE
I will try to pray for your family that your marriage will be save by the Lord. If you can, together with him, seek help from Father Bill Heng (Novena Church). He is currently counselling my wife and me.
Also try your best to go with him for the marriage encounter course. I believe he will go with you.
You can Pm me for his contact number. Take care and God Bless Always.
get on with ur life, even if he is to die tomorrow you will still need to live on with ur son. just be prepared for the worst 3 yrs annulment might just be the way out.
there is a saying;
free the bird, if it fly back its yours,
time will heal all pain.but i the mean time look ahead, though not easy.
for ur son. i believe you can do it.
rgds
ethen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
6 months ago, he finally told me he doesnt feel the same anymore, but denied that there was anybody else…
He finally came clean today.
He has been sleeping with a colleague for almost a year now. She is also married, with a young child, has no problem with her husband.
… He does not expect to marry her but decided to come clean as he is tired of hiding and lying.
So far, all you have are affidavits from your husband … have you actually verified every single thing he tells you? Look, a liar will need more lies to cover up the very first lie … that’s the only truth in this world.
Anyways, some nice lady just mentioned the theory of “everything happens for a reason” … I understand what she is saying, but I call this same theory “it takes 2 hands to clap”.
Look, this is not an issue of your husband cheating on you by engaging some street-walkers for paid sex … it is an affair with a married woman that has now gone beyond “blame it on a spur-of-a-moment impulsion of my little brother”.
I mean, just like your husband was facing the risk of wrecking his own family (specifically, losing the love & respect of his precious son), the married colleague was facing the same … if she was not facing marital problems (just like your husband was), then why did she allow it to happen? Even if your husband was her sexual fantasy, how did that novelty not wear off after this 1 whole year?
Anyways, what’s the point of getting advised of who’s right & who’s wrong now? The only thing I can deduce from here is that your husband is not doing this for the thrill of it, he is dead serious that he has found a woman whom HE THINKS is much better than you are.
The fact that you are really a better wife, a better mother, a better housekeeper, etc etc … is IMMATERIAL, at least for the foreseeable future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
the latest update is:
the other woman’s husband has found out about the affair. seems very likely that she will divorce him and give him full custody of her son to be with my husband.
…
This is the point of no return already … simply becoz in your husband’s eyes, he had a hand in wrecking this woman’s family, so being the man that he is (this is meant as sarcasm, not that I’m on his side), he’ll wanna take up the responsibility of taking care of her from here, ever after.
Whether it’s from you or a professional counsellor, the reminder to your husband that he also had a hand in wrecking another woman’s family will still fall on deaf ears … why?
One represents the regretted past, one represents the promising future … which would you pick, if you were him?
Yes, life is this simple … you just need to know where to look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
i honestly dont know how long i am going to take.
it isnt fair to my husband
but i need the time to speak to counsellor, lawyer and get a grip on the situation.
too many things have happended over the this weekend and i am not sure if i am still sane.
What you are doing now is still your instinctive defence mechanism (aka self-denial) working overtime … look at it this way, if your boss tells you he finds you a nuisance & he wants to employ someone else to take over you, would your reaction have been the same?
Like what boss said, get a grip on yourself … & walk on. Further down the road, you’d start to realise even the air smells sweeter … remember this: though you lost a husband, you gained a son who’s gonna be with you (in mind, body & soul) for years to come.
Hey, wait a minute, you never had your husband to start with … so what did you really lose?
Most importantly, dun you lose your dignity … & the strength & courage to live life for your son.
Of course, if you have the occasional sexual urges, you can always come back to this forum to seek help.
Hi Kingeros
your
“Hey, wait a minute, you never had your husband to start with … so what did you really lose?”
actually gave me strength.
thanks
hi corny123
i am beyond suicidal. i doubt it would change anything if i kill myself. honestly i suspect i am bottling up all my emotions still cos i have not hurl abuse at my husband, plan revenge on him or her or even threaten him. from the time he confessed until now, i managed to control my emotions and talk to my husband calmly, (of course with tears rolling). i just dont want our relationship to sour because of this. he has been my soulmate for almost a decade and has always been gentle and kind to me. i hope this will not snowball to a huge outburst later. that is why i am seeking counselling first.
can you believe this… i have posted my problem on this world wide forum but have only told my younger sister about it. maybe i am just too ashamed of this personal failure.
i am not making myself out to be the victim. i must have contributed in some parts to case my marriage to end up like this. i have been complacent and overly confident of me and us. at least i will carry some learning points away from this episode.
wish me well as i find my footing.
and cherish your gf. not many girls approve sbf. i can imagine the number of woman scorning at me for asking a bunch of chee kor peks (no offence) for help.
Hi oralcraz
I am trying very hard to shield my son from what we are going through. I cant control the tears very well and I am ashamed of the extent of the damage.
even when son ask “why is daddy always not home” - i would tell him “daddy works hard so that we can buy such and such etc”.
so i really dont know how to enlist my son in my fight.