hello corny123
in a way i am envious of your mom. her efforts bore fruits.
my husband seems determined to go. i guess i need to have the grace to accept his decision and move on. all these seem so surreal. i am not prepared for it and not sure what to do next.
i wish i were in his position, looking forward to a happier future. now my future seems bleak and i have to make it otherwise, for my son’s sake.
i wish your mom would talk to me too… cos till now i dare not beak the news to mine. she wont be able to take it.
i feel real alone in this pain. that is why i know i need to see a counsellor quick before this snowballs into something else.
thanks again
hello lemon
i remember this story and i also recall another one about a chinese property couple where the husband strayed and upon earthquake, protected his cash register while his wife covered him with her own body.
i wish my husband would read these but i know he wont. i cant recall how it started but he doesnt have time or make effort to read long stuffs (other than when they relate to sports or IT gadgets).
i wish there was some way i could do to change his mind, or even open his eyes to see what he is doing to me and his son. but there is only so much i can do. eventually one can only try so hard and when it is still not enough, i guess i will have to let go.
it has been a painful struggle. i am still in shock and denial.
Dear Spanner
praise the Lord for intervening in your marriage. glory be to God. May He bless your marriage richly and guide you and your wife through your lives together.
I sure can do with some divine intervention now. I have fasted and prayed for 3 days months ago when he was cold towards me. I started fasting and praying again after his confession on Saturday morning. I am waiting for the Lord to help me, in His time. It is painful but I will wait upon Him.
I wish i could give my marriage another go now but it is out of my hands.
I beg you, please pray for me and my son. For He is the only one that can help me now.
i wonder how he can still sleep so soundly when i am tossing, turning and eventually getting up.
i wonder how he can continue with his happy life when he can clearly see how he has destroyed mine.
it is really easy to hate him
but i am so weak.
help me.
i need to sleep. i need to sleep. i still have to work and be there for my son tomorrow.
help me.
Love? What is love?
Love is just a feeling within yourself, you feel a longing, want, lust and selfishness for someone. Love will never sustain forever! Its a feeling, and nothing but an emotion. Love is blind (thus the phrase, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder…) and it clouds your ability to make realistic and calculated judgment.
Love has different languages. Some people see receiving gifts as being loved. Some view touches and having sex as love. Some others prefer to talk and receive compliments from each other. Some just need to spend time with each other. So what kind are you? and what kind is your husband. Are you loving each other the right way?
My parents are divorced as well. Although i don’t feel anything now, it was quite saddening initially to know that i belong to a incomplete family. I didn’t have a fatherly figure to grow up to… and that is a fact that i still find hard to live with from young.
Love is nothing but an attraction. How to get guys attracted to you? Go watch “The Ugly Truth”! Read “The Game”! “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus”! If everyone in the world is able to understand and tolerate each other’s beliefs and expectations, the world would be a much better place!
Relationship takes 2 hands to clap. 1 hand swinging and the other not moving = a slap. After sometime, you will find that you are slapping yourself, slapping yourself hard.
I am not about the right person to tell you which road to take. Nobody on this website is qualified to do so! Not even your counselor, or your parents, or your best friends. We are not you and thus do not understand the situation as well as you do. You need to look within yourself, look without yourself and have him do the same thing together. You two need to come up with a decision and act upon it.
Life is nothing but lessons learnt. Happy events bring you happy lessons and painful events bring you painful ones. It shapes how you behave and how you mature. Ultimately who knows what really will happen 5 yrs down the road? or 10 or 20 yrs? It might be a blessing in disguise that this happened… it might not… who knows?
Ultimately, both of you should know (and understand clearly before making the decision) that whatever the decision, never regret and never look back! If you two decide to work it out, keep going and change for each other. If not, move on and better your own life.
No matter what, Life is short. Smile and stay happy forever!
=)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
i need to sleep. i need to sleep. i still have to work and be there for my son tomorrow.
help me.
Get yourself a new man. In a couple of months, you’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about.
PS: You’re still under moderation so your posts don’t appear immediately. Just post ONE copy of each message. It will appear once it clears the moderation queue.
As I did not go through the entire thread, this may be a repeat of some brothers who have given you the answer.
My advice is “Hang on” to it. He will eventually come to his senses and realise his other relationship is also getting nowhere.
Forget justice. Forget about what’s right or wrong or who’s at fault. You get what you want if you persist and hang in there. Don’t throw the book at him and talk about legal right, etc.
pray for patience, perserverance, love, etc. At the end of the day, he will come crawling back and worship the ground you walk and realise what an idiot he has been.
Believe me. I have seen so many divorced couple lamenting it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wahlau
As I did not go through the entire thread, this may be a repeat of some brothers who have given you the answer.
My advice is “Hang on” to it. He will eventually come to his senses and realise his other relationship is also getting nowhere.
Forget justice. Forget about what’s right or wrong or who’s at fault. You get what you want if you persist and hang in there. Don’t throw the book at him and talk about legal right, etc.
pray for patience, perserverance, love, etc. At the end of the day, he will come crawling back and worship the ground you walk and realise what an idiot he has been.
Believe me. I have seen so many divorced couple lamenting it.
I agree. My OC hung on to me and I went back to her.
Hi Sis,
A close friend mine once advised me that things happen for a reason. Though we may not know the reason now, we’ll see it when time comes. She believes that the reason is always for the better tomorrow.
So I live by this belief. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I’ll just remind myself that this phase will pass soon. I’ll emerge out as a stronger person.
Take a deep breath, calm down. If possible, take few hours break from your work, do something to stop your mind from thinking of this problem. With clearer mind, I’m sure you can see the situation in different light.
Most importantly,
STOP
treating yourself as a
victim
in this incident. Be strong and start taking charge of your life now!
We are here for you.
Take Care!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
adviseme
i wonder how he can still sleep so soundly when i am tossing, turning and eventually getting up.
i wonder how he can continue with his happy life when he can clearly see how he has destroyed mine.
it is really easy to hate him
but i am so weak.
help me.
i need to sleep. i need to sleep. i still have to work and be there for my son tomorrow.
help me.
I am sorry to hear that your problems, xiao mei.
hope that my humble points contribution will clear you out of the moderation phase.
anyway, my 2 baht worth.
The person most affected will be your son. No two ways about it. He will be bewildered as to why is daddy not at home and you are so sullen most of the time. He will be anxious and probably feel unloved and abandoned.
Children are more sensitive than we can imagine.
I believe that as parents, you and your husband must consider the young one. If he moves out, the boy will be confused. Tell him that.
Meanwhile, work your differences out amongst yourselves and honestly, it takes 2 hands to clap and if he does not wish for reconciliation; begging him may not help. He has to search down within himself if he wants to carry on.
Honestly, love is overrated. A marriage is about Commitment also and it takes effort to make that commitment work and again, it takes 2 hands to clap.
Now, to be fair to your husband (and i may sound like a prick here), we have only heard one side of the story - yours. Although your husband may have said that there are no “push” factors in his affair, there definitely would have been. Men will always lie to take the blame on themselves. So i think that you may want to do some soul searching and talking to him about that.
Hope that all work out in the end…