- Mistress Masterstroke 1
-
Manipulation via Gifts
- First you should not even bother to “try”. Let your natural instincts take over. You should not be fixated over pleasuring her as it paradoxically puts pressure, stress and anxiety onto yourself. And this very anxiety will in turn ironically diminish your sexual performance.
- Second, (now this is rather controversial), the idea of pleasuring a woman lie in the feminist indoctrination of sexual liberation. Women now accept that sex can be pleasurable in itself and not merely as a means for procreation.
- In general, women response to sex involves more than the physical. It is the confluence of the mental and psychological context that sets up the arousal reaction for them. (Read a Harlequin or Mills and Boons novel vis-à-vis Penthouse / Sammyboy forum to sense the differentiation).
- I will not go too much into sexual technique per se – there are some excellent threads in the excellent Sammyboy forum. Search and look out for it.
- Hi Warbird, as you know, I share your sense of aesthetics with regards to JJ. She really is beautiful in so many ways. As mentioned to you earlier in this thread, out of the many ladies I saw at Amani and Dong Men, JJ and XH are the only ones which I fancied.
- Talking about beauty and sense of aesthetics, I don’t have a particular type. It is transcient and shifts with different times of my life. My particular flavour is still “tall and fair”.
- What is the implication of this? I am trying to make the point that impermanence and temporal nature of lust and the shifting sense in your sense of beauty*. (I speak from my perspective here)! The recognition of this fact can take away the power that a beautiful woman naturally command.
- So please remember that sense of beauty (as you define it internally in your mind and visceral) does shift. Remembering this adage, it can help you break that infatuation mode that a stunning and beautiful woman can command from you. “Weak in the presence of beauty” is unavoidable especially for a woman loving hetrosexual man who is into cheonging (I am one of them) - but the recognition of the transcient nature of how this beauty is defined can dilute the power of beauty a little.
-
An important point to note is that despite the different nationality and ethnic make up, the concept of empowerment that I talk about is still very much relevant and applicable. The use of a Tom Yum context as opposed to Dim Sum is just to add different flavouring (make the thread little more ‘colourful’ if you like!).
-
Yes, there will be certain cultural and social imperatives that are different. However, this is subsumed under “Principles of Empowerment”. The Principles of Empowerment still operate. I can vouch for that – in my relationship with Paeng (my current squeeze) and my other post Pat mistressing forays.
-
I have to go back a long way in narrating this story (think prequel!) - close to 15 years. This is because I have been operating under an empowered mode for many years now.
- Pat is indeed very cute! I can still vividly remember her curves and beauty despite it being fifteen years ago. However, in my current aesthetics (Beauty) orientation, JJ and XH is more my type.
-
Yup, absolutely agree about the comment on who cares less in the RS wields the greater power. (That is why an important attribute in empowerment is to always have options and choice - so that you will NOT appear needy!)
-
Will talk about losing interest after ‘conquest’ in due course. Of all members of the Mistress Brotherhood, Terrence suffers from this affliction the most.
- There is no hard and fast rule with regards to sending money whilst she is overseas. Generally some degree of ‘deposit’ is needed to extend your hold on her. (How else could she eke out a living?)
INDEX KEYS
Reality Blog:
Xin2 & Terrence:
- Issue of the day: Mistress Exchange between friends Page 1 / Post 1
- Terrence’s First Offer: Page 1 / Post 14
- Historical (Mike with Xin2): Page 2 / Post 18
- Reality Update (Terrence on Middle East Biz Trip): Page 2 / Post 25
- Reality Blog Update (Terrence Back from Middle East) Page 3/ Post 44
- Update Xin2 intends to take up Terrence’s offer (Page 11/Post 153)
- That’s what friends are for – Jus offered to try out Xin2 as a Mistress (Page 11 / Post 160- 161)
Jus & XH
- Introduction (Page 6 / Post 89)
- Strategy used to engage XH – in narrative format (Page 9 / Post 122)
- Pantyless night out (Page 11/ Post 153)
Warbird & JJ
- Warbird’s First Failed BY experience: Narration, Analysis & Reply
(Page 5 / Post 63 – 68, Post 72 – 73), (Page 10 / Post 151)
- First Meeting with JJ (Page 7 / Post 102)
- Correct Initial Approach for JJ (Page 7 / Post 105)
- Virtual Mentoring (Page 8 / Post 106 – Post 107)
- Update (JJ Malaysia Trip) (Page 8 / Post 116)
- Advise on Baoying JJ (Page 9 / Post 121)
- Negotiation of Terms with JJ (Page 10 / Post 138)
- Girlfriend based vs Patron based Mistressing (Page 10 / Post 143)
- The Psychological Reasoning behind the Manipulation via Gifts (Page 2/ Post 19 & 21)
- Mike’s application of Masterstroke 1 with Xin2. (Page 2 / Post 26)
Mistress Masterstroke 2: Ruthless step of limiting a target’s income potential & Developing a Crutch Mentality.
- Introduction: (Page 2 / Post 28)
- Limiting Target’s Income Potential: Bullet Points (Page 3 / Post 34)
- Creating a Crutch Mentality: Enervate the target and make her work conditions tough: The Use of Alcohol (Page 3 / Post 37)
- Elaboration on what a Crutch Mentality is (the principles behind the Masterstroke) (Page 6 / Post 83 – 84
- “Using the Wuss” method (Page 6 / Post 85 – Post 86)
- Crutch Mentality and Animal Farm: Cutting Off the Mother Hen (Page 6 / Post 88)
- Cutting off the Mother Hen (Con’t) (Page 9 / Post 131)
Budget Masterstroke
- Budget Masterstroke Tips #1: Building a Love Nest on a cost sharing basis (Page 6 / Post 89)
- Love Nest Opportunity: Rip off at Sims Place (Page 7 / Post 98)
Masterstroke Tit-Bit
- Masterstroke Tit-Bit 1: Identity of Referral (Page 8 / Post 118)
- Masterstroke Tit Bit 2: Broaching the Subject of Bao Ying (Page 8 / Post 119)
- Masterstroke Tit Bit 3: Strategy used to engage XH (Page 9 / Post 122)
Mistressing Game
Mistressing Game # 1: Chocolatey Fun (Page 10 / Post 147, Page 11/Post 152)
Uninformed Robert / Girl Friend Based Mistress vis-à-vis Patron based Mistress
- Casual introduction of Girl Friend Based Mistress (Page 3 / Post 39)
- Uninformed Robert (previously known as Dumb Fuck Robert) – “Romanticize” relationship (Page 3 / Post 43)
- Illustration of an Uninformed Robert – William (Page 3 / Post 51)
- Practical application of a Patron base relationship (Page 10 / Post 143)
- Money and Mistressing Ventu’s case study (Page 10 / Post 145)
Thinking / Business Tool:
- “It’s Bladdy Obvious” (Page 4 / Post 58)
- “It’s Bladdy Obvious” – continuation (Page 5 / Post 63 – Post 64)
- Success Traits (Page 9 / Post 133)
Book Review:
- “Pilot’s wife” (Page 9 / Post 128)
Accommodation and the Setting up of a Love Nest
- Quick pointers, why a Love Nest is the best option for sexual fun (Page 12/Post 171)
- Great Experiment1: Project Love Nest (Page 12/Post 172-Post 173)
Miscellaneous:
- Mobile Phones (Page 12 / Post 176)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
warbird
If BY-ing is a “make me happy operation,” does that mean I shouldn’t try to give pleasure to the gal? I hv found it to be physically tiring n taxing even when I follow David Shade’s best sex techniques.
Cheers!
Hi Warbird, no need to take this literally. Happy here is construed as a state of being joyous and the feeling of contentment. You are internally satisfied that you have gotten a fair deal (or better yet – a good deal in your BY venture). You are glad that you are in an empowered position and that you cannot be bullied or ‘inveigled’ into submitting to her whims. Instead she has to cater to your whims!
I shall craft my next response carefully with regards to “giving pleasure to the girls” as it can tread on some sensitive toes. I can expect some ‘disagreements’ over the general purport as to what I write here as my argument can go against some apparant ’truisms’ are very much in grained.
This being said, do try to be open minded and think through my points:
To put it bluntly in another way, she is there to satisfy you and not vice versa. You tell her what you want, and she has to find within her means to deliver on your request.
Once this idea of women as a sexual being is generally taken as a truism, men foolishly take it one step further to their detriment. They placed it upon themselves to prove their masculinity by linking the sex act of bringing a woman into orgasm / satisfaction as an affirmation of their manhood. This is actually not good for the psyche as it is essentially a manifestation of a fragile ego.
And a fragile ego will emasculate you as it robs you of your confidence (which is by far the sexiest attribute that a man can have)
In other words, what I am suggesting here that its not where and how to touch that is important into bring her into heighten state of arousal, but rather in how you bring her into a sexual context that will trigger the biggest response.
Of course, I am not dismissing the physical aspect. Too clumsy and “losing your way” on a woman’s physical terrain is one of the biggest turn-off ever for a woman. It shows you up as an inexperienced person (by implication cannot provide for her well being and hence undesirable).
So guys, you must know the minimum “technique” (which sadly many don’t) and be comfortable and confident with yourself and your body image. There is really no need to obsess about mastering the entire rituals of the Karma Sutra or even engage in transcendent sex.
For me personally, the axiom that mind the sexiest organ (the top head) rings very true. I had women discharging copious fluids by her giving me a blow job the way I want it (without me expanding any physical effort). I am a very lazy lover in terms of physical exertion but I know how to mouth things that I know would turn her on as she is performing fellatio on me.
Trust me on that, a lot of women get off by giving pleasure to a man. Sometimes to the throes of quivering orgasm even with only limited physical contact. This is especially so for a man whom they hold in high regard (such as a Patron).
Seen or know any fat bastard tycoons (that you just know don’t have the physical wherewithal for hot pulsating sex) and yet women confide that they are good lovers? It mind fuck – and woman cannot tell the difference simply because of their different paradigm in viewing sex.
Cheers Mate!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golfnut
Bro Justime and all others,
You may want to be careful about Nitric oxide. For me, Cod Liver Oil works, It has Vitamin A, which boosts testosterone.
Just Say NO!
Thanks golfnut for the info. Appreciate it very much. Don’t know whether the NO has a “placebo” effect on me - but I do feel a little more energetic after taking it for about one month. (I since have been taking NO for about a year already … without any adverse effects watsoever).
Anyway, in the light of this new information, I may just desist taking NO for a couple of months (once I finish my current bottle) to see whether it this will impair and/or impact me adversely.
Medical findings always so contradictory. One minute coffee is said to prevent alzheimer’s, and then another study from an equally respected medical study disclaims this and say that caffeine promotes dementia. (The same for the case of egg yolk - one study its good for you while another contradicts it … and both from Lancet like medical authority!).
Certain Food is deem carcinogenic and then later retracted. Heard from my doctor friend that there are even some studies that show that anti-oxidents has a contary effect and actually facilitates cancer .
…. well perhaps what you consume and in what quantities is
casino
-genic. Literally like a gamble.
Anyway, thanks once again for your research and for posting the information golfnut!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
warbird
I may not want to BY JJ.
She has been delaying her medical exam n blood tests at DSC, something she promised to do over a wk ago. Although it’s not that important to me as I always practice safe sex, I feel that she has breached the terms of our agreement.
We exchanged a no of SMS-es yesterday. She told me that she is having her big auntie n abd cramps n would get the tests in a few days. I more or less ORDERED her to get them today or else. She was displeased, accusing me of being mean n insensitive.
She wrote, 你不懂对女孩子要温柔一点吗? I didn’t fall into the trap of agreeing w/ her.
I replied, 我是不懂，我只知道君子一诺千金, meaning that I’m not a sensitive, wussy beta male who will agree w/ whatever she says, instead I’m a man whose words r as good as gold (one essential attribute of a dominant male). I also implies that she has reneged on her promise by delaying the tests. I know her respect n attraction (especially at the subconscious level) for me, if there was very little before, has just shot up. She suddenly became very affable n tender n admitted that perhaps she was overly sensitive n she would get the tests done ASAP.
There is one other thing I dislike abt her. She has a large tattoo which covers almost 1/4 of her otherwise nice ass n beautiful body!
BTW, I did give her a nice deposit plus fees to cover the blood tests the other day, in exchange for spending 2 hrs in a hotel rm. IMHO, it’s a fair deal for both parties. So when I tell her I’m not going to BY her, she shouldn’t be upset. I’ll offer my continued friendship n will try to help her get some business at DC if she wants.
Also, my 1st BAO-ee, the 21 yo Fujian student, sent me a sms last night that she had just returned from China…hmmm. She had previously avoided me as if I was a leper after I abruptly terminated my patronage when she refused to go to a hotel rm after dinner. She hated me so much that she gave up a steady stream of income from TAM n DC n went to work at a smaller joint. But I continued to send her SMS-es on a weekly basis…If I do re-BAO her, firstly, I want to make sure she service me well n secondly, I want her to fall in love w/ me n beg me to make love to her, hehehe.
* Clap! Clap! Your response toward JJ is exactly what I am trying to communicate with regards to handling woman. Don’t be bullied and take no crap from them. Paradoxically this will win their respect and you appear more attractive in their eyes!
Anyway, as I mentioned to you in PM, whether you want to take JJ into the next level or discard her to move on, its your absolute perogative. Whatever that you think is in your best interest is the one I support.
Don’t want to delve into the metaphysics and such, but in my personal experience, once you have that “attitude”, it somehow magnetises you and draw new woman unto you (or old flames back). Previously luke warm response turn red-hot desire etc ….
Warbird, you may not know it, but you have imbibed some of the key principles here in the thread and have turn you into a raging Romeo.
Without you being over conscious about the processes, you internalised the message, went out to field for experiential validation and reaped the benefits. I doubt you will be so traumatised or manipulated like in the case of your first BY foray.
All in all … my heartiest congratulations!
This post and the next couple of posts will be a little “whimsical” to a certain extent. But it has an intended purpose. (Sorry for delaying Masterstroke yet again, but this is very important!)
In the course of writing this thread, I have several people contacting me about their particular situation. I want to do my level best to help, but sometimes I am operating on a very tight time constraint that does not quite allow me to give personalized attention. That being said, I will still try my best to assist whenever I can. So do contact me when you want some “wise counsel”.
What I want to put across is that time is really a great healer. I want to let you know that I am NOT always this composed and empowered. There was a time when I was very emotional and have no sense whatsoever about being empowered in a relationship. Hua, literally had to sit me down and share with me the lessons (some of which I am incorporating now in this thread). Hua’s wise counsel and life’s lesson literally saved me from doing personal violence against myself!
It is from this counseling session and heavy dose of self introspection that I had a life changing moment. I suddenly had a significant paradigm shift in how I look at life and relationship (from a self empowering perspective). This is where I made the most progress in terms of speed and alacrity to the empowered state that I am in currently. If you read my thread purposefully and with personal introspection, perhaps you too can have that moment. Or your personal growth might be more gradual – with incremental growth towards the goal of self empowerment!
To make things a little interesting, I shall share a little personal disclosure about myself. It was during a particular period of my life whereby my approach to relationship (and mistressing) was so disempowering. Learn from my failures / mistakes so that you need not suffer any unnecessary grief. (The time and energy used for coping from grief can be better applied elsewhere, like building a business or self development!)
As I am preparing my little story, let me refer to you another thread that I created at the Link and Picture Exchange Plaza at Sammyboy Forum.
Chloe, Kor-American SYT (“Pat’s Dead Ringer)
The thread has no real bearing to the substance and content of what I am about to write except that the protagonist – Pat (who is my Thai ex-mistress) look remarkably like the girl, Chloe, in the picture. A real Dead Ringer, including that little ‘scar’ on that belly. Sort of like a “visual aid” for my story narrative.
See you in a bit!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
warbird
…..
BTW, I hv not decided on my future course of action w/ JJ. My only worry is that I may start missing her the day after I terminate my patronage. After all, she is very fair, tall n quite a looker. Despite her height, she can also be whimsical, very cute n alluring like a little gal…This also happened w/ my 1st BAO-ee.
Anyway, take your time in deciding. Be comforted that whatever your choice is, at least you had made love to her - which is a feat in itself as she is not the ’easy’ sort! (We both know that some men spent oodles of cash, but have absolute no returns in physical intimacy).
Technically if I were to see Pat (the Chloe lookalike in my above post) who is a SYT, she may not make the impact like she did the last time (yes, albeit 15 years ago). Pat is definitely beautiful and desirable, and I still do remember every crevice and delicious curve about her like it was yesterday, but the same girl at different epoch of my life provokes different reaction and has different impact.
* You can and do get bored (not matter how beautiful your gal is). On the other side of the coin, Beauty can also “grow” on you.
And you want this mental weapon because you should take control of your emotional and rational self in the presence of beauty. (An over powering beauty can sometimes make you vulnerable because she catches you at a visceral level which many a times is more powerful than the mind!).
Cheers!
Cheers!
The below story is dedicated to a “Thai champion” in Sammyboy’s Sex forum .. you know who you are! Do come out to share your interesting story if you are so inclined, I am sure we can help many brothers here see different dimensions on empowerment. I will dispense my “2 cents” within the confines of your story and apply the concept of empowerment in order that readers here can have a more through apprehension in the application of the concept.
In addition, just for you, I set up “visual surprise” in order to make the below story a little more delectable for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justime
…..
To make things a little interesting, I shall share a little personal disclosure about myself. It was during a particular period of my life whereby my approach to relationship (and mistressing) was so disempowering. Learn from my failures / mistakes so that you need not suffer any unnecessary grief. (The time and energy used for coping from grief can be better applied elsewhere, like building a business or self development!)
As I am preparing my little story, let me refer to you another thread that I created at the Link and Picture Exchange Plaza at Sammyboy Forum.
Chloe, Kor-American SYT (“Pat’s Dead Ringer)
The thread has no real bearing to the substance and content of what I am about to write except that the protagonist – Pat (who is my Thai ex-mistress) look remarkably like the girl, Chloe, in the picture. A real Dead Ringer, including that little ‘scar’ on that belly. Sort of like a “visual aid” for my story narrative.
See you in a bit!
Some factoids about the pictorial:
i) For those that do operate in the LOS (Land Of Smiles – Thailand), Chloe’s body type can be quite the norm. However, in Thailand they tend to be more tanned. In a quite a reversal however, Pat is actually fairer (albeit marginally) than Chloe.
Chloe’s sweet alluring features (“kawaii” like) appear also quite plentiful in Thailand. If this type of SYT appeals to your presence sense of aesthetics; you may want to consider visiting LOS.
ii) Yes, Pat too shares the “Bald Tiger” look in her groin area. I personally did her first shaving during the initial good times.
iii) And unfortunately down to the faintly visible ‘scars’ too. ( Read my story to find out).
Some important pointers to note:
In spite of the intervening years with different mistress (between Pat and Paeng), my experience with Pat remains the most tumultuous by far! My relationship with Pat will therefore make an excellent case study on the don’ts when mistressing.
(I have since learnt a lot from this which I will share with you guys so that you can avoid the same mistakes I made – whether its PRC WL, Vietnamese mei-meis or Thai lasses).
Quote:
Originally Posted by
warbird
Yes, I’ll remember to stay composed n empowered in a RS. Also, the one who cares the least controls the RS, hehehe.
Wow! Pat must be a very chio n sexy Thai gal!
….. Getting bored is an understatement.
I hv been afflicted w/ a psychological illness since I was a young man. I long to fxxk gals I can’t get or who play very hard to get. The chase can be very thrilling n sexciting. However, as soon as soon as I get her pussy, my interest seems to deflate like a punctured balloon! It’s akin to a severe case of buyer’s remorse. Strangely, very soon after the breakup, I start craving for her pussy again.
It’s like a riding a roller coaster!
I’m going break this curse once n for all.
I may yet continue my patronage w/ JJ bcos she is my 2nd BAO-ee n I hv not spent so many intimate hrs w/ a gal (other than my OC) for decades. It would be a good learning experience, hahaha.
……..
I do hv a question. Do u pay a monthly “retainer” to ur mistress even though she is thousands of miles away? My 1st BAO-ee wants me to keep sending her some money (not the full amt she is getting in SGP) after she returns to China.
Cheers!
Hi Warbird, just a quick reply before I have my afternoon siesta.
With proper “grooming”, she can be very appealing indeed.
I empathise and relate what you are trying to communicate - essentially its wanting what you ‘can’t’ have and enjoying the psychic rewards of a successful chase. BTW I am still afflicted by this syndrome too.
Putting / investing money whilst she is away is kinda like a business proposition whereby you stake your future claim on her in anticipation that she will return. Most do however return (in the context of my experience) However, know the risk that she might ‘run away’ and leaving your wallet lighter.
Accept also that by you not being in close proximity, your authority, influence and span of control is reduced (- but not eliminated altogether). Will show you how to maximise this control while remote from her. Remote control!
Two obvious points. One, never pay the same going rate as in Singapore. Cost of living in China (or Thailand) is lower. Two, if your interest in her is begining to wane, pay minimal or even not at all.
(
Absolute Max
you should give is SGD 1800 - SGD 2, 000 for a girl you still have hots for!). Absolute max!
By the way, I did not give Paeng a cent. Have NOT been giving her any for close to a year now. I had earlier ‘helped’ her to set up a salon which now generates her income. Although it is profitable, I did not take my entitled share of profit that was due to me. So its kinda like a retainer of sorts.
Cheers!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golfnut
…
I found celery juice and pure cod liver oil (the vitamin A in it) works… especially after 30 minutes of weight lifting of fast twitched muscle training. I am 40 and still look and feel 28….
And libido and physical qualities remained the same.
Cheers,
Hi Golfnut, I am very impressed that you are so in touch with your physical self! Good on you. Good physical health, helps to make you look better (better body aesthetics does aid confidence) and also makes the love making session better. Sex is a physical activity after all that is said and done!
Guess from your nick that you are a golf aficionado and your fast twitched muscle training is geared to improve your round.
I really should take a cue from you to improve my physical condition via nutrition and exercise. Unfortuntely for me the only ’exercise’ I have these days is the use of my “birdie” to get into “the hole”. (and it ain’t golf I am talking about)
I would like to extend my sincere thanks to everyone for keeping this thread running in my short absence. The views, discussion, stories, anecdotes and conversational exchanges very interesting and it give me great pleasure reading it. Thank you all – appreciate if you could keep this going.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sean110
i am following these posting very closely. Only to say i am lucky to see how other bros deals with their women and learn from them. Sure save me many many pain and time. Salute u guys!!!
big thank you.
Hi Sean, we are all here to learn and share from one another. Sharing enables us to tap into the rich tapestry of other people’s life vicariously. And in this regard, not can we enjoy a person’s life story but occasionally we can also profit from their experience. Keep the support going and remember to always empower yourself in all you do!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
yinyang
I’m not in same league as you or other guys. Will try to share my experience.. no gems of wisdom but more of anecdotal dimension.
……
This had nothing to do with her messing about at my back… but rather I felt that I deserved better both tangible and intangible. By the latter, I mean emotional warmth in a already difficult to manage LDTR (long distance tirak r/s). Her’s more of her personality, and she’s even the “boss” of her family with other 2 elder sisters calling the shots on home matters.
Not sure if mine fits this thread, but with such a tenure, there are emotions attached in our r/s. I do not profess to give any insights here, but we all do learn from lessons in life.
Pause for a cause.. I come to terms with 2 things. LDTR can play havoc on your insecurities, so it may help to realise you cannot control what she does in your absence. And I can relate to what TS seem to say here (maybe diff ways): You deserve to be made happy, not just make her happy. I was wet behind my ears in the beginning, and feel foolish looking back (before both piece of self advice dawned on me later).
Future? Wish I had a crystal ball. And facts is that we know that women do amortise (sorry for better choice of words).
Yin Yang, you have my sincere appreciation for the sharing of your life story. To use your terminology, LDTR (Long Distance Tirak Relationship), is indeed a challenge. It is a dimension that we often forget when we court ‘foreigners’ be it Thai, PCR or Vietnamese.
Whatever the nature of the relationship (girlfriend, mistress, flings etc), if strong emotional attachment develops, we must be prepared to surmount the geographical challenges or compromise the relationship.
I wrote earlier that despite the fact that all of us has mistress overseas (except Terrence), we still need to cultivate one at your own domicile – in this case Singapore. There will be times where you have physical and emotional cravings where only proximity (being physically close) can address adequately.
The axiomatic expression “absence makes the heart grow fonder” does not bear out in the context of my experience. People largely get on with their lives. Just like time healing all emotional hurt, absence too in time, will diminish the intensity of the intimacy.
In addition to geographical barriers, there are also the socio cultural dimension to contend with when courting foreign girls (I will show this when I talk about my past relationship with Pat).
As for the “feeling of insecurity” aspect, it should be obvious that it is disempowering. The feeling of insecurity is actually a manifestation of some personal feeling of inadequacy at some level. And this feeling of inadequacy often stems from the lack of confidence (more commonly known as poor self esteem).
To illustrate the point, I shall jump the gun a little and talk about Masterstroke 3: Be a confident Bastard.
The lack of confidence usually manifests itself in “action inertia”. This means that you are not actively on the lookout to create choice in your life. So whatever and whoever that comes along (by chance I might add) and can satisfy your emotional needs you tend to hold on tightly.
I hope you recognize that this is the “reverse crutch mentality” - and this time YOU are the “victim”. In short: You need the lady to fulfill some emotional lack. You do NOT have viable options. You do NOT know how to break this vicious cycle so you accept and settle (to your own personal detriment). And the crutch can be so strong that you accept poor behaviour, sacrifice your finance, and give justifications (excuses) on why you must continue the relationship despite it not making you happy.
(And not to worry Masterstroke 3 will show you exactly how to break this vicious circle!)