- For your information, my command of the Chinese language is not that good as well. Whatever level you are at, it will probably be better than mine when I started my PRC mistress ventures. In fact, I still struggle with lack of Chinese proficiency. I know this for a fact because only last month, I tried helping my goddaughter with her homework - Primary Three Chinese as a Second Language – and could not do so!
- Yes, I will address the “security” element that you talk about. However, this will be put under the category of “Petty Masterstrokes” which will come in much much later in my treatise. Threats to a would be mistress’ security have a blackmail dimension to it. Yes, it WILL work, but the efficacy is limited in scope. Why?
- I have not personally read Neil Strauss, ‘The Game’ although I have heard about him when discussing buaya strategies with friends. As such, it would not be right that I comment about his works without knowing its explicit contents first hand.
-
First off, do not accede to her request unless you have checked with the referral first.
-
Then, you must make a judgment call on the “cool” factor of your referral. Like it or not, you are judge and assessed by the quality of the company you keep. You need to take to take a dispassionate and objective look at your friends.
- By succumbing to her insistence of you disclosing the identity of your referral, you already lose out in terms of dominating and controlling the interaction. It is very disempowering to you.
- What ever her reaction is, don’t ever be bully into meekly submitting to her orders and reveal the informant (unless he has the “it” factor). Because even if you do get to meet her, you esteem and position in her eyes will be so lowered that you have to take massive steps to recover lost ground!
-
Knowing your own affordability limits. Note that besides the mistress allowances, there are numerous other plus plus which the Mistress expects the Patron to pay.
-
Having a sense of the true takings of your prospect (as opposed to her claims – which is often inflated)
-
Knowing the circumstances of your mistress life condition.
-
It is also dependant on whether you take the budget route or direct route. Jus always takes the Budget route by the way! Like a budget carrier, you will definitely need to give up something in the budget deal. One of which is that you may have to give up your first preference!
-
As a rule of thumb, it appears that for the direct route, the median amount of money that most Patron offer here is SGD 10, 000. It makes no sense to me, but this arbitrary ‘round number’ seems to be most popular going rate. When comparing notes amongst one another this is most often cited figure. Offer any less, and the prospect will feel a sense of being shortchanged – especially if the Patron is deemed as “old” aand/or “ugly”.
- On a brighter note – the SGD 10, 000 has been around for ages. Inflation does not come into play. However, the economic crisis does seem to have its impact. Always use the “economic crisis” as your bargaining tool to get better deals monetary wise.
-
After SGD 10, 000, the next most popular sum is SGD 6, 000 to 8, 000. This figure makes more sense to me. Why? It is because it the monetary target range of a Singer at a Hanging Flower Joint. They would rather be BAOed than to work the stage every night for seven days a week!
-
No ego, no thinking with the pecker, but an honest old hard fashion look at your financial status is the way to go in determining whether you can afford Mistressing or not. (Short time outlets can be quite fun too!)
- For SGD 6,000 to SGD 10, 000, it usually means that the girl is taken off the KTV market. In other words, she can go only when you do so.
- By accepting the proposal, it is definitely a no-no for Chu Jie (Short Time, Long Time, BJ time – anything that has to do with sex!).
-
The “grey area” is going out with other men. One on one is a definitely, no-no, while a group setting is more or less tolerated by more easy going patrons.
-
Usually accommodation should be provided. Like a “Lau-gong” providing a roof over her head – the Patron is also a provider and the home is the best expression and manifestation of this role.
- For my XH SGD 1500 deal is a loosely coupled deal. She has absolute freedom to go and work anywhere. She can see customers (even one-on-one) to entertain. However, the defining line is again – no sex of any sort whatsoever. Any instance of a breach and the deal is off.
- I’ll admit that I went a little on the “seductive” route with XH, plying her drinks, booked her (paid $250 for the first time) and take her out for dinner and then entertainment. I did that for two nights consecutively for XH.
- Warbird, you have met and engaged more than a fair share of KTV lasses, do quick a snapshot profile of what you think JJ is about. I will help you with the interpretative / analysis part if you want.
-
I know that you (XH) are uncomfortable with ST arrangement. However, face it. Most men here will want to have sex with you. All men who go to KTV will want to fuck, you must accept this truism. Most mei mei working here at Amani chu jie. If you keep refusing, you will get less and less customers.
-
How many men here do you really want to have sex with? Did you meet even one man here that you like for the past week that you don’t mind to sleep with?
-
My SGD 1500 means that for every 3 days, you get a confirmed ST arrangement with someone you like — charming smile put on here —– you will therefore not need to worry about considering ST anymore.
-
Also I will take care of how you live (I had already known about the price and living conditions of her existing accommodation arrangement).
-
You can continue to work and earn money and you get extra from me. Its a win-win situation and Who knows, if we strike it really well together, we may build a nice future together….
- As a recommendation, the book is way off the mark in terms of the intended audience. Most of the people at this forum here are lusty heterosexual males. The female perspective (right down to the title of the book itself – mind you) will alienate a lot of readers here in terms of emotional connectedness.
- I have read this book during a flight delay. My staff passed it to me and say that its “un-put downable” and that its part of the Oprah’s book club recommendation.
- Quickie plot summary: It basically about a woman’s journey of self-discovery as she learns of her husband’s double life when the plane he pilots crashed. What followed was the typical shocks, grieve and angst moments as the Pilot’s wife unveils the dreaded secret of her husband – he is a bigamist!
-
I don’t know about other readers, but for me personally – it’s a gigantic bore! Hell my personal life itself is so much more colorful from the narrative standpoint.
-
In addition, the Pilot’s wife internal battles too are very hackneyed. Essential angst aside, the ethical – philosophical dilemmas put forth are so shallow that I laughed outright.
- Wonderful writing aside, this book can also be subtly disempowering because of the undercurrents of guilt complex.
- Also the morose way she goes about the ending is not life affirming at all. Absolutely lame. Come on, the ending where the Pilot’s wife accepts / settles / come to terms to her husband deceit. It is a thrill ride only an “emo” person can apprehend and appreciate.
- I don’t read books to ‘get’ the different emotional flavours. There is no need to. I live life hard and experience it viscerally (as opposed to vicariously through books).
Apologies for the delay in my expatiation of “Creating a Crutch Mentality: The Mother Hen”. Quite inundated with business projects and XH was quite an energy sapper yesterday (in a good way).
In response to some of the posts:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nitefyre
bro warbird and justime,
quite an intellectually stimulating topic. Fantastic info … and I considered it in the past. Sadly, my limited command of chinese does not make it a worthwhile and enjoyable pursuit.
That being said, this has made very good coffee-shop-talk material with like-minded brothers. One experienced brother mentioned that ‘security’ is good leverage for negotiation (as in ‘security’ of not being caught and deported). Since this has not been discussed, i wanted to get the expert’s view.
on another note, i think the content in this thread is very good and will make a good book when organized properly. If you have read the book ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss - the same idea.
Hi nitefyre, nice succinct post with many excellent points!
Immersion (there is an innuendo in there), by the way is the fastest way in learning a language. So is necessity (the mother of invention). Notwithstanding my language handicap, but because of the need to communicate with my PRC mei meis, I had learnt to SMS in Chinese (an accomplishment in itself) and can even hold some basic philosophical discourse with them.
I will not be flippant and say that there is “no need to talk, only use body language”. Verbal communication adds a certain flavor to interaction, that is a given. But this is not to say that you cannot have fun during the picking up of the Chinese language phase.
More empowering perspective for you is therefore not to use your perceived lack of command of the language as an ‘excuse’
. Use it to your advantage. Learning Chinese via immersion can be very enjoyable. It adds flavour and new dimension to the interaction too. In addition, you can teach your prospect English too (this is empowering).
(By the way, how do you think I learnt my Thai, Malay and German (which is very rusty now)?)
Assuming that your command of the language is at the below rudimentary level, here are some fun ‘starter’ activities:
Start with nouns – eyes, nose, ears, pussy, ass, clitorious,
Add verbs: run, walk, sleep, fuck etc (ask her variations on how to express verbs differently)
For adjectives, (my favorite as it allows me to slip in subtle compliments without being direct. Woman love this subtlety), go for things like radiant, elegant,
In time, you will pick up the language simply via immersion. (Come old gogies like me can also do it!).
Let the relationship stimulate both heads – the mental and the genital.
A new Patron that comes along can easily negate this hold you have on her. Threats emanating from the contravention of visas (study, work or social visit) can come only in the context of her having to work in a KTV. Take away the need to work at such establishment and the “security threat” hold is almost blunted.
Also, as the case of Professor Bryan Ngoi Kok Ann (accused of giving false information to the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority) about Chinese national Guo Juan (his Chinese girlfriend), the blackmail based strategies such as via the threat of immigration may come to haunt you later. (Google for details if you are not aware of the above case).
And it should be very obvious to reader of this thread that notwithstanding his academic prowess, Professor Ngoi is one hellva “Uninformed Robert” when it comes to handling mistress!
Only advice I can give is a general one (with regards to all self help materials – including this very thread itself): Take and weigh the advice against the context of your personal life. Use what’s useful and discard the non productive. Use the “What works in real life” test criteria to determine if applies to your life.
I presume that you are not gonna sit on the self help material without some form of validation in the context of your life. If not, might as well read porn - at least you will get a good reaction/erection out of it.
I know that some brothers here may be “hungry” for more Masterstrokes as well as for me to get going on to “Creation of a crutch mentality: Dealing with the Mother Hen”. Rest assure, I am working on it – albeit slowly due to my very busy schedule.
Pardon the slow pace, but
do note that the discussions and other so called distractions are equally integral to a successful cultivation of a mistress as the Masterstrokes itself.
That being said, I recognize that the Masterstroke makes for easier and more interesting reading as it is a radical and counter intuitive strategy that is proven to work in the real world.
So to temporarily assuage the hunger of some brothers, I hereby provide some bite size (tidbits) Masterstrokes. I call this Masterstroke Tit-bits. This is because they are not part of the overall Masterstroke banquet per se but rather stand alone nuggets of wisdom in the field of Mistressing and dating in general. Yes, and like the main Masterstrokes itself, they serve to empower you:
Ooooooooooooo
Masterstroke Tit-bit 1
ooooooooooooooooO
What if you get a lady’s contact from a buddy or a brother here and then when you call, she insists that you disclose the identity of your referral?
For example, based on looks and general presentation alone (without the accompanying knowledge of the fact that Mike, Hua and Terrence high status), a casual referral from them might not take me far in upping my desirability factor to my prospect.
I may love and respect my friends to bits, but this respect is probably not translated onto the prospect – especially on the superficial level. The prospect may just see the picture of relatively well off old fogies who is not desirable by any stretch of the imagination. This poor perception will be rubbed on to me.
What then do I usually do?
a) If I were to meet her in person, as in I call her at her place of work and ask her to come over to “xx” room so that I can book her, I would “explain” how I got her number by simply looking incredulous and say that it is she herself who gave me the number – (an indignant “how can you forget”) is a good.
Allude to the fact that she must be drunk when she last met me and show a little “annoyance” and displeasure in a non threatening way for her ‘forgetfulness’. The fact on how you get her number is soon swept away as you continue the interaction naturally.
By the way, if the woman does (pretend or otherwise) not buy the above story and is still insistent that I disclose the identity, I will simply just walk away. She is not worth the endeavour. You have got a long way to go in taming this shrew! Other strokes are needed.
b) If over the telephone, I will also apply the similar – “you must be drunk when you gave me your number routine”. And but then add “Meet me. I guarantee that once you see me, you will definitely remember me”.
Let the curiosity percolate in her brain. Like before, walk away (by hanging up the phone) if she gets too suspicious and insistent.
OooooooooooooooooooooooooO
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nitefyre
I was referring to ‘security’ being presented as a benefit from BY and how (if at all) it can be leveraged to negotiate the final price. I am sure there will be exchanges before settling on an agreed price. Is there a BY price calculator for inexperienced brother like me?
Definitely do not intend to support a mistress with poor ROI (and of course, ‘returns’ here is subjective). The Masterstrokes you have discussed are very important to achieve the maximum ROI. I too, want to be ‘blown’ away
Hi nitefyre, I had so much ‘fun’ doing the Tit-Bit Masterstroke in my earlier post that I thought I do it again.
Ooooooooooo
Masterstroke Tit-Bit 2
ooooooooooooooO
How do you broach the subject of BoaYing without disempowering yourself if she refuses?
nitefyre, this is where the “Security” that you allude to comes in.
These are more or less the words (need to be translated in Mandarin obviously) that I have previously used in presenting the offer:
“I would like to take care of you. How can I take care of you?”
“Working in a KTV is so stressful, always worrying about Immigration catching you and all that. How would I protect you from all this hassles?”
“Take care”, “protect” ect … are euphemisms (“a substitution of an agreeable or less offensive expression in place of one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant”). The Chinese Lass will understand your intended meaning so no need to go elaborating on this. Couching the offer thus does take away the sense of crass commercial-ness a little as well as leaves a hint of romance in the proposition. More importantly, it confers you an alpha position is the relationship.
(By the way, the line also works for Ang Mo prospect. Yes, I have ever kept Ang Mos (Eastern European Girl) under my retainer before as well)
If she refuses, don’t beg or ingratiate yourself. Say simply, “think it over”!
OooooooooooooooooooooooooO
Yup, there is a pricing calculation guideline in this. It is simply too long to elaborate in this post per se, but since you asked, let me mention some key guideline figures in the tabulation:
I think I have “interviewed” literally hundreds of girls over the years under retainer and/or who are offered a retainer: From what I hear this “yi wan” (10, 000) figure props up the most often.
(Note that a true
blue blood
Patron will NOT use this strategy. They pay a comfortable and what they deem as a fair rate - never a bargained one. Almost a take it or leave it proposition).
Hope that the above helps a little in the formulation of your calculation.
(Give me more details and I will give you a better approximation! And remember, always think affordability)
And as for how to gun for better ROIs, I will cover this a little later in this thread.
But for now, I shall put forth my personal score card and general impression of PRCs mei mei about their ‘servicing element’ in terms of sex : Band “C to D” (to use a common Performance Appraisal system here.
Blow jobs are not standard issues and even when given, poorly executed. (An example is XH, her skills are perfunctory at best, she is now under my personal tutelage to become a better lover).
In short, to get the ROI you desire, be prepared to invest in some time and “training”. And I will show you what Masterstrokes to apply in order to achieve this!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
warbird
Thx for ur pricing guideline!
For SGD 10,000 or 6,000 to 8,000 a month, is the gal still allowed to work at KTVs? There will be additional expenses such as rental n food, etc.
I guess I offered my first BY too little, although I did let her continue to work at KTVs.
But how did u get to pay only SGD 1,500 for ur current gal??!!! You must be a gifted negotiator
Thx n hv a great day!!
Hi Warbird,
Again I can provide only a guideline. Every situation is unique you have look into all variable and pitch the proposition accordingly.
Note however, that the girls have “no other life” besides those that involve the KTV establishment. Their friends are there and they are comfortable (as in accustomed) to the environment. As such, many will still go there to KTV with or without you Mistress arrangement/agreement notwithstanding.
Only two days ago, I played chauffer to one of XH ‘friends’. She is purportedly under a retainer (I think it is SGD 5,000) by her so call Singapore Boyfriend. Yet, she still goes to Amani (she always dresses “Office Lady”) in order to earn extra income.
From what I found out, initially her Boyfriend-Patron refused but later relented. Man are sometimes quite a sucker for “tare-tare” behavior of a gal (hell .. don’t have an English equivalent that quite capture the essence – “manja” feminine wiles?).
Crossing this line is a point of no return. In the context of my experience, I am pleasantly surprised of the Mistress by and large do keep their end of the bargain with regards to this ’line’. They know the limits!
Most Patrons usually factor this in under the allowance. For example, if his budget (and please always do budget) is say SGD8, 000, he will offer only $6,000 as allowance. The other SGD 2,000 is set aside as accommodation. Of course, in the proposition, he will mentioned SGD 6, 000 plus accommodation.
Due to my “cash flow” situation, I nowadays hardly provide accommodation. (See Page 6 post #89 of this thread – Budget Masterstroke #1) on how I get round this.
As this is the Budget arrangement, I would have done some profiling on her. I will perhaps touch on some elements of profiling later on – but let me tell you that a lot of it is intuitive (perhaps cultivated over the years through experience).
From what I gathered, XH is not the aggressive type in pushing for a “tai”. She is passive (I think JJ is a little like that – despite my limited interaction with her). As such, XH does not maximize the “tai” potential she undoubtedly have – especially at Amani . She is the sort who sits a little longer with a prospect in the hope of getting a larger tip rather than going round to generate volume.
Also XH may do “ST” but is likely to be very selective with the prospect. (I think the same applies to JJ too – but her selection criteria will probably be much more stringent than XH – almost as good as no “ST”).
Anyway, we clicked (got some Masterstrokes for that) and ended up in bed. This is when I first broached the subject.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I arranged accommodation for her (again see post # 89) and made it clear that sex on demand is on the cards as I have tight and relatively inflexible schedule (some semblance of truth here).
“Today I may “do” you 10 times (of course exaggeration lah – think I superman is it?), but there may stretches of consecutive days whereby I’ll be too busy to even kiss you”
(I am very hesitant to do any profiling as my interaction with JJ is cursory at best. – as I said to you – JJ is virgin and she is yours!)
Oooooooooooooooo Tit-bit #3 oooooooooooooooooooooooO
Some brothers may want to know how to frame, present or persuade a mei mei into accepting a Bao proposition. Now to worry, I’ll cover it on the Main Maserstroke Menu.
Meanwhile, a “Tit-bit” version of a recent example (in a narrative format) ….
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justime
…. my XH SGD 1500 deal is a loosely coupled deal. She has absolute freedom to go and work anywhere. She can see customers (even one-on-one) to entertain. However, the defining line is again – no sex of any sort whatsoever. Any instance of a breach and the deal is off.
…………..
From what I gathered, XH is not the aggressive type in pushing for a “tai”. She is passive ….
XH does not maximize the “tai” potential she undoubtedly have – especially at Amani . She is the sort who sits a little longer with a prospect in the hope of getting a larger tip rather than going round to generate volume.
Also XH may do “ST” but is likely to be very selective with the prospect. …
I’ll admit that I went a little on the “seductive” route with XH, plying her drinks, booked her (paid $250 for the first time) and take her out for dinner and then entertainment. I did that for two nights consecutively for XH.
Anyway, we clicked (got some Masterstrokes for that) and ended up in bed. This is when I first broached the subject.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I arranged accommodation for her (again see post # 89) and made it clear that sex on demand is on the cards as I have tight and relatively inflexible schedule (some semblance of truth here).
“Today I may “do” you 10 times (of course exaggeration lah – think I superman is it?), but there may stretches of consecutive days whereby I’ll be too busy to even kiss you”
The following are what I used as “logic” to help seal the deal with XH.
The “logic” I proffer to XH is frankly a whole lot of rubbish and riddled with poor assumptions, fallacies and inconsistencies!
What the hell – she bought it and it works though!
Anyway, just for fun, for the heck of it, here is my logical proposition (don’t laugh!) to XH to get her accept the offer.
(
Precondition is of course XH must ‘like’ me at some level
)
There, this is how it went
Big caveat:
This is a little anecdotal fun posting (and is applicable with XH and woman of a similar profile). Do
NOT
use this same logical reasoning for the experienced mei mei please!
Note also that my arrangement here with XH is NOT the typical patron-mistress. The power dynamics is subtle (slightly favouring me of course!), and there is a fair bit of “persuading” needed to be done before I can get XH out of her comfort zone when it comes to sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jj_jj
Bro, would “coquettish” be a good equivalent?
This thread surely qualifies as “sticky”-worthy
Cheers,
jj_jj
wow “jj” (double some more) - we are doing a reality blog on you!
I was rather thinking of the word “minx” (especially as how a Brit would use it) but somehow I feel that it does not quite translate.
It is rather like the term “sian” (I know the ang mo equivalent is “ennui” - but somehow it does not quite encapsulate its essence.
cheers mate!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rorschach
I can see clearly so far that it is all about having the confidence as a man to know what you want, and then going for the kill. It is this mental framework that I have been trying to develop, be it in my interactions with PRCs, in business or in just personal relationships.
How does one plant his feet so steadily on terra firma and deal with self-doubt about your own abilities and the future? What should one’s attitude towards money be, knowing that $$$ is such an important factor in securing such arrangements with these women?
Hi Rorchach, you write well. Maybe if the so called book deal does somehow come into fruition, you can be its editor.
I will address the above issues you raised in my next Masterstroke: Be a Confident Bastard. But even at this stage, I believe that it should be obvious to you that the concepts of self empowerment do not reside only in the realm of mistressing. It is applicable to other aspects of your life as well.
It’s a visceral and intuitive impression, but your post above suggests to me that you are someone who has quite a strong sense of introspection. And that you are probably just ‘starting out’ in a new phase of your life. For you then, may I suggest that you take all the concepts with regards to mistressing as a metaphor for self empowerment.
Being a ‘business person’ I am most concerned with practical application. The Masterstrokes are strongly action oriented. And the action is bias towards “what works” in real life rather than theoretical abstracts. Obviously the “what works” is forged in accordance to my own personal experience (which is largely validated by similar experiences of the Mistress Brotherhood and others).
That being said, I will whenever possible provide the logical and philosophical premises underlining why a particular Masterstroke works (such as Masterstroke #1).
But in the interest of not boring anyone with too much theorizing, my own personal philosophies (everyone has their own set of personal life paradigms), will be naturally woven in the context of discussion.
And I am pretty certain that you have the intellectual wherewithal to discern what my philosophies are from there.
Preamble:
Okay, people who are inherently bored with discussion about books, movies and general philosophizing please ignore this post.
Unless there is a high level of interest in this kind of discourse, it will just be a one off post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rorschach
Fantastic reading. Thank you - what I took away from everything thus far is that the tactics (and the reasons behind them) that you’ve employed are worth examining again and again.
However, being the wide-eyed and inquisitive disciple that I am, I was wondering if you could expound more on of the philosophies behind this particular art that you are imparting to us all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
swain
A very interesting thread. I would recommend all the bros who have a mistress to read “The Pilot’s Wife” by Anita Shreeve.
Hi Swain, thank you for your interest in the thread as well as the book recommendation – I appreciate it.
But let me at the outset apologize for my straight talk with regards to this book. If you have any emotional attachment to the contents of it, I suggest you don’t proceed.
Not casting any aspersions here … but here are my frank views (mostly negative) on “The Pilot’s Wife”.
Remember, this is only MY PERSONAL TAKE!
Myself: I would rather read it from the pilot’s perspective ………. I may just learn a thing or two.
My reaction was very “beng”-like (although I did not show it outright): “Oprah? sian 1/2 liao”
But since she is a very good staff of mine, and as I was feeling a little restless about the delay, I indulged her recommendation.
And my initial visceral impression of the book is vindicated as can be obviously seen from the comments below..
Anita Shreve also throws out some sub-plots of “pilot error” and the dynamics of mother-daughter relationship as they cope with their own personal tragedy among others.
Philosophical and ethical dilemma peppered the book – such as a marriage quietly morphing “from being in love to just loving each other” etc.
I personally think that Anita Shreve (the author) does not have width in understanding cultural dynamics (and other non mainstream lifestyle variables). She appeared not to possess the sufficient depth of experience to draw on to make it thought provoking and at the same time within the real life possibilities that a truly good book should have.
Come on, men having two “wives” (hence double lives)!!. Alternative enough but not too far from mainstream … might as well say that you can screw a lady while administering cunninglingus simultaneously! Ahem …and that I have done!
Anita Shreve does not ascribe attribution of guilt whether to the pilot, his wife or life circumstances per se. I am afraid she is trying too hard to be deep (chim). What life complexities? You can pass judgment. In Anita’s Shreve world (as espoused in “the Pilot’s wife”), “Everybody is at fault here (and then has redeeming features as well)”.
Don’t sit on the fence Anita – tell it like it is! Take sides and pass judgment. Say the pilot deserves to be castrated with a dull spoon. You may sound like a shrill feminist (like AWARE ah?) but at least you provoke a reaction.
And it is definitely so NOT me!
How’s that for a book review?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justime
Come on, men having two “wives” (hence double lives)!!. Alternative enough but not too far from mainstream … might as well say that you can screw a lady while administering cunninglingus simultaneously! Ahem …and that I have done!
errrr…. it should be bladdy obvious that there are two ladies involved here.
Its been a while since I last update on the “main” Masterstrokes.
To recapitulate:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justime
Crutch mentality and Animal farm: Identifying and Cutting Off the “Mother Hen
”
…..some Mother Hens are so immersed in their zeal (largely to fill their own ‘ego’ needs) that they sometimes forego the tai themselves as they try to push and sell you the services of their more inexperienced friend.
Note however, that this mentoring and guiding system does not stop inside KTV world. The tortoise also defer to the Mother Hen in many other matters. Ironically, it is easier to get a Mother Hen to be a mistress than her tortoise chick.
The Mother Hen provides the tortoise chick with the emotional crutch. As such the chick will defer to the Mother Hen in many matters - especially “big decisions” regarding the acceptance of a Patronage.
You can work with and through the Mother Hen initially and then cut off the Mother Hen or loosen the power of the Mother Hen at the outset…
……..
Like to mentioned that the payback of having provided the Emotional Crutch can be quite big. Once a Patron make himself the sole (or primarily source) of emotional support, he literally can twirl his mistress around his little finger. The Patron can get his Mistress to do things that she is not comfortable with by just temporarily withholding the emotional support.
……………
Yes, despite their independent exterior, almost every mei mei I know have their own sources of emotional crutch.
The Mother Hen is like a double edge sword. You can utilize her services to serve as a catalyst in order to get the prospect to agree to become your mistress or she can be a huge stumbling block that will stymie any progress you make.
The first step is to obviously find the tortoise’s main source of emotional dependency.
Note that the Mother Hen may NOT be successful in her own right. She could be placed in that vaunted mentoring position simply by circumstance. For example, she may come to Singapore first (hence by implication more experienced and purportedly able to show the tortoise the ropes). The Mother Hen simply be a “friend of a friend”. The Mother Hen may be one who arranges and takes care of the tortoise’s accommodation. Or simply, a chance meeting that leads to ‘friendship’ between that of the tortoise and the Hen.
* Most people don’t go about actively cultivating friendship. We allow the diktats of “chance meeting” (usually brought about by similar life situation at that particular time) coinciding with some degree of rapport to deem someone as a ‘friend’.
In the above instance, the connection is not strong. If she is against the Tortoise to be your mistress, I would suggest that cut off the Mother Hen right away. Point out to your prospect the lack of success of the Mother Hen. Be direct, and ask point blank “How can the Mother Hen be qualified to dispense advice given her lack of personal success thereof”.
Conversely if the Mother Hen is strongly for you, you may want to demonstrate some kindness toward her (such as when buying your prospect food / flowers / mini gifts) by giving her token gift as well. It should be obviously that there must be differentiation. The Gifts to your prospect must always be superior to that of the supportive Mother Hen.
The bigger challenge is when the Mother Hen has already some pre-existing depth of connection (such as member of an ‘extended’ family and/or already friends). Obviously if the Mother Hen is in favor of you being the Patron, you ‘incentivize’ as per the above.
If she is against you, then its time you play down right dirty: you need to create a “distrust” situation between Mother Hen and your prospect.
Fortunately for you in a KTV situation, it is very easy to manipulate such conditions. Simply present it to your prospect that the Mother Hen always steals her customer. Do so several times and let the subtle resentment fester in your prospect’s mind.
For example, get an accomplice-friend to sit with your prospect and you call the Mother Hen to your tai. Your accomplice flirts with Mother Hen (who is sitting with you). When the tip comes, your accomplice-friend gives minimal to your prospect (remember the masterstroke about limiting the income potential of your prospect?).
For the next visit, your accomplice-friend calls the Mother Hen to his table. He now tips her generously. Repeat the generous tip routine for a couple of times.
For added effect, as Mike and Hua likes to play it, repeat the scenario in different room. Get the mummy to allocate the girls as per the above arrangement. Then tell the person (one who sits with the prospect) to flirt with the Mother Hen. Remember Mike and Hua determines the tips payment, they take care of the cost and the allocation of tips for this.
Take a while and imagine the above scenario. Try to get into the skin of your prospect and it is easy to empathize how she will be feeling.
Know that essentially there is an element of competition with regards to the girls working in KTV. And that they always compare notes among each other.
Don’t under estimate the power of competitiveness amongst girls (sub-conscious or otherwise). I had mentioned that Xin2 had a Mother Hen Joey. Joey and Xin2 connection is relatively tight. But even then, it takes only two such arrangements before Xin2 complains to Mike about her so called friend’s behaviour!