Mistress

2. Relevance

(A lot this material below extracted from a Private Conversation)

One of the key objectives of the mistress thread is meant to address unfair exchange between a WL & her bf/Robert.

Yes, the first part of the mistress thread is admittedly and intentionally done to generate interest in this thread. I extracted an interesting and not oft used concept as a novel way in order to invite readership.

1. It should be however obvious that this is a “Rich Men’s Strategy” and not wholly suitable for most people – hence the unrealistic perception that it can sometimes generate.

That being said, although they are not rich per se, many Bros have got the money to indulge in a WL (whether BY or simply keep them as a high maintenance GF).

And the sad thing is that instead of letting money put him in a “power” position, the monetary advantage gets lost in his interactions with a WL.

I have seen too many brothers here ‘bankrupted’ by the manipulations of WL – simply because they don’t know how to handle their own emotions with regards to interacting with WL. (Sad but true, you hardly see a ‘rich’ Chinaman being manipulated like our locals by WL. They know that who holds the money is king. Hence sometimes the negative perception by the Chinese mei mei that Singapore men are naive).

To this end, my constant harping about empowerment and bringing fair value (especially monetary) into the relationship has already helped certain brothers. They are more circumspect in how they spend money – especially with regards to WL.

2. If you continue reading the thread, you will notice that I am slowly gravitating towards another very important defense mechanism. That is to “Create choices and Options for yourself”. I aim to go further, not only do cast your net in terms of choice for different ladies, you cast your net in terms of the range of personal life choices you can make. This important tool of empowerment is equally relevant to the everyday man as it is to the tycoon.

3. If you patiently go through the threads, you would also see that the “everyday man” focus slowly coming into the fore. From Mistress-seduction tactics, the focus is now toward self-empowerment. And that means taking control of your life choices and financial destiny. It something a lot of people can relate to and they did according to the feedback I receive.

I am not sure how many brothers detect the evolution that I talked about. But I am glad to report that in my private correspondence with some bros, many brothers here

actually GOT the point about empowerment I am trying to make

. They are not interested so much on “Masterstroke” per se – and see it only as a metaphor.

I also got several encouraging and heartening feedback on this. Some brothers have told me that since learning about empowerment, they are now more circumspect on the wiles of the WL – and refused to take any crap from them! They saved money and know when to disengage a disempowering and unproductive relationship. For that alone, I have achieved my modest objective when I first embark on this thread.

(When I first started this little project, I told myself that as long as two or three person can be ‘figuratively saved’ from emotional & financial devastation I will be exceedingly happy as I had achieve my goal. Now it appears that a little more than three persons have benefited from the concept of empowerment….)

Hello everyone, glad to be at this thread again after quite a while. Glad to see that the thread is very lively during my absence. Thank you one and all for your kind participation. Keep the discussion going, we can mutually learn from one another so that we will always remember to empower ourselves when engaging and interacting with a PRC mei mei.

As I have just completed a major project, I am feeling a little enervated hence my reply will be brief for now. (Hey, to tell you how busy I have been, I did not have sex for more than five days already … and rest now appears a more compelling proposition than sizzling sex presently!!!)

Starting from the latest few posts:

Quote:

Originally Posted by

sing11235813

You’re right. But, then, homely also means less-bonked and purer! So, if you are successful, the feeling is better too. If she is one who says yes to every proposition that comes along, then the fun and challenge is not there anymore.

…. But, I am really not into the messiness of long-term arrangements. Also, I think it’s better to hunt by myself rather than to have one handed on a platter.

Hi Sing, it would be very disingenuous and hypocritical of me to dissuade you from your BY forays. But let me tell you that

Mistressing can be very addictive indeed.

To me personally, it is better than having a gf or engaging in Short Time. Again always be mindful of the costs (not only monetary) in your pursuance of her.

This being said, I have looked into your posts, and you came across as a person who knows exactly what you want. This ran the gamut from the type of girl you like to pursue to the cost and context by which you will frame the proposition. This is very good indeed. You have defined the parameters clearly and you know the “stop” or “cut loss” points (a carry over from your career in the financial sector?).

As to the discussion regarding a KTV WL or a ‘homely’ one, the answer (which is also a non-answer) is obvious. It is really dependant on the personality and character of the girl herself.

A homely girl can be as susceptible to sexual disease as a KTV WL. We cannot know for sure how promiscuous she is (and a ‘normal’ PRC girl can be usually quite complacent in the use of protection -this I can confirm).

The truism should be therefore be noted: women usually lie about how many men she slept with by discounting the number in order to appear virtuous - which is generally coveted by most men. (Men also lie, but they exaggerate the quantity on a higher side

).

Also note that a KTV WL can just be as noble and many a times present a more interesting “chase” prospect (if it is the challenge and thrill of purchase you seek!). Here you are competing against many other men in addition to winning your quarry’s heart.

So Bro Sing, do “reality blog” your pursuits here, and we can collectively dispense our viewpoints so that you can make the most informed decisions based on the context of your own personal agenda and situation.

By the way, if you have been following this thread, you will know that I currently have both “types” of mistress under my patronage. So I can just provide some anecdotes and personal sharing in order to help you shape you decisions as you go along your little adventure.

Good luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by

wolf2305

…after reading this thread and learning from the masters. I must say that i have learnt alot and I believe in my case i will be using Bro Justime methods. Although different strokes for different pple, currently I am putting it into action while I might have reinvented some of the strokes and put into my use.

For the information

I am in my early 30s and running a small business.

Thus i might have the time but I have not had the money.

Thus, I must salute the gurus and thank you Bros for all the advices and methods that you have employed.

Thank you

Hello bro wolf, if it is alright, could you document “the chase” if it is not too personal?

Every plan needs to be adapted to suit context, and you may just hit upon a powerful masterstroke that can benefit a lot of bros.

Quote:

Originally Posted by

Soul_Reaper

Something I need to get off my chest……. hopefully the BAO Masters here can help.

What would you do in this scenario? -

Bros Alex & Ben were buddies and colleagues.

Alex married their mutual friend Carol and later left the company to set up his own business. As his business grew he employed Diana whom he later bao as his mistress.

Ben came to know Diana a few years later and they both fell in love (Diana was still Alex’s mistress). One day Ben came to know about Alex & Diana’s relationship from another party. Carol calls Ben regularly to get feedback on Alex.

Ben is confused how he should deal with Alex, Carol & Diana under these circumstances? What would you do if you were in Ben’s position?

DYBJ is correct. Alex must right away cut off his relationship with Diana. Never allow a mistress to have her cake and eat it too. You are not the Uninformed Robert that condones such nonsense. (I have not talked specifically about “control” mechanism iof the patron so that the situation described above will not even arise in the first place - obviously Alex does not have what it takes to compel “loyalty” despite paying good money.)

Let me tell you unequivocably that

even the most naïve and/or seasoned veteran WL all know about this “boundary

”. (You don’t see other men when you are under a Patron!). Without a doubt, Diana breached the boundary knowingly and must be unceremoniously dumped. If as you say, Alex is a business person and an employer, would he then tolerate such disloyalty from his staff?

Ben may be the innocent party in that he did not have prior knowledge of the relationship between Alex & Diana until he is immersed in it. (By the way, Ben should never ever betray Alex’s trust by providing Carol feedback). Now that he discovers his position, he should right away know of Diana’s propensity for deceit. He too should therefore dump her outright – as there will be betrayal of sorts in continuing the relationship.

Now in order to draw a useful stratgic tool in this scenario: I am presuming here that Diana is one hell of a beautiful lass (who knows how to sensuously pleasure her lover). Yes, there is always a powerful attraction to such women and many men cannot disengaged themselves from the pull (or lure) of this dangerous liaison. A lot of men (probably Ben and Alex?) may find it difficult to let go of such magnetic personality. There will be longing, tears and pain in the story if the guy protagonist do not know to put himself in an empowered state.

Lesson here: To inure yourself against such powerful and pervasive fatal attraction, an empowered person must always strive to have several viable choice(s). He would therefore not be needy and getting psychological / psychic / physical satisfaction from a single source as this makes him vulnerable.

Litmus Test: Always ask yourself what are my options and choices in any given scenario. And if you cannot think of any other viable and equally compelling choice, you have inadvertantly put yourself in a disempowered position!

Quote:

Originally Posted by

biker_man

Bro Justime,

I just want to tell you that your contribution to this thread is really appreciated by the quiet majority here.

Thank you for taking the time and effort to contribute to this forum with your engaging style of writing.

I chanced upon this thread early this morning (Sunday), and I have been reading it the past 2 hours. A lot of the information and techniques that have been described by you is freaking awesome!

Even though i am not doing any “mistressing” (already enough headache with Wife & Gf), the guide that you have provided will come in handy in other situations……..

hi biker man, thanks your lovely gesture and your encouraging post. It is very heart warming indeed. And it certainly gives validation that my clarion call for bros to be empowered is heard in numbers that is above my original expectations when I first embark on this project.

Hope that I can live up to your expectations!

Hello everyone, this (and the one above) post is written in the LOS (Bangkok, Thailand). I am currently at Paeng’s (my Thai mistress) home, waiting for her to close shop before coming over here for “supper” (innuendo here … but of course!)

Anyway, XH have left Singapore about two weeks ago. Recollect if you will, XH is my “hybraid” mistress-GF that I picked up at Amani. She is ‘featured’ in my Reality Blog and used several times as an illustration of certain Masterstrokes.

Well, we did not break up or anything like that. She simply taking a hiatus to go back to China as she misses home.

Since she is physically not present (out of sight out of mind), I thought I just use a little hindsight analytical perspective to see how I fared in terms of practicing what I preached.

As the experience is still fresh in my mind, I am able to better recollect the nuances of XH behavioural patterns.

To kick off, we shall be of course talk about the issue of MONEY in order to see how the theories dovetail to the real world scenario with regards to XH.

(By way of a refresher, I shall use some quotations - by myself & contributors here - as a starting point)

(Part 1 - to be con’t)

Refresher:

Quote:

Originally Posted by

justime

…….will

not

be enough if your ‘mistress’ is an Ang Pai (or even a semi Ang Pai) or if she has high consumption / consumerism habits. As such, there is a need for her to develop alternative ‘income’ channels to feed the habit. This is a practical and logical thing to do - and one which I myself will do if the roles are reversed.

Think of money in a mistressing context like this: It is not the sum of money that is important here. It is the use of money (regardless of amount) in enforcing and consolidating your power status in your relationship with her.

The corollary of the poor use/execution of “money as leverage” is that the ‘mistress’ will always stretch the limits of your tolerance. The more they can get away with it the better.

…. Never meekly submit nor play the ‘hurt’ man.

In getting your mistress to execute your desires, you do

NOT

ever seek her understanding (in the vain hope that she will be sympathize with you, feel kinda bad and then be somehow emotionally blackmailed into compromising with you). It never ever works this way!

b) Also Never get worked up and all riled up - to use anger as way to enforce the mistress desired behaviour.

The “My way or the highway” threats are very dispowering - especially if not backed up by deed!

Calm, factual and rational tone that underlies the seriousness of your intention is best. Follow up on the relevant “punitive measures” - there must be one. But never of the “throw the baby along with the bathwater” variety such as immediately ending the mistress patronage! (Or you will be missing a hellva good opportunity to take your relationship at the next level.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by

cablesnwires

Certain points made in this thread is crucial:

[1] Budget control - Determine how much you are willing to forego.

[2] Be prepared to walk away if something is wrong.

[3] Need to show who the boss is, and it’s not THEM!

[4] Maximize your returns with the minimum investment.

[5] Be a confident bastard!

Quote:

Originally Posted by

DO_YOU_BJ

If you Bao someone for say, 2k a month, cmon, be practical, even for a local, how to survive?

What you got is not a steal, but a shared toilet. So in this light, is it really worth the little money spent let alone, sharing it wif someone else??????

Having a mistress, excuse me, is not a cheap thing, the entire game requires $$$$ and also, a thief to catch a thief mentality.

Always know, what you hear isnt real, to outwit them, you have to think like them. What would you do, say think to help you make more money????? This goes through their mind all the time.

In this game, there is always a looser.

If the man spends more than he wishes to get the meat, he lost.

If the gal submits to all your demands and has no bargaining power to squeeze you of more juice, she lost!

Remember, NO EMOTIONS!

Just treat them as whores and you’ll be fine.

Once you allow their sweetness and charm to smitten you or have a crush on them, man, you’re already dead…………

The entire charade is to not allow them to pose anything to you, thus will always be placed in the backseat. You drive, they sit, so in very crude term, JUST SHUT UP AND FOLLOW!

$$$$$ is the root and most important fundamental of this game.

If you want a mistress, in my book, it’s called personal toilet, be prepared to spend $$$$$$$

If you cant, suggest you save your money and get STs when avail rather than spending money on a shared toilet, just dun make sense…………

These gals are very realistic, so shud we…….

Quote:

Originally Posted by

formidable

Extract from Net:Economics n Psychology of Commercial Sex.

A pros is like renting a car.

A mistress is like buying a car.

Not many men can afford a mistress.

…

Quote:

Originally Posted by

justime

…laying out the cards on the services you expect

. …Many people use the courtship / girlfriend route and mistakenly assume that they are Baoying a girl (mistress). This is NOT correct. What you are doing is simply giving the girlfriend an allowance or as the mei mei like to put it – help them with their living expenses. Expectations are not communicated and your allowance to her is taken for granted

You therefore need to make a distinction that you purchase her time and service

. (No need to be so commercially crass about it if it is not your style – you can romanticize the relationship saying that I take care of you in return for love, loyalty and devotion).

(One important Test whether your prospect is girl-friend or Mistress is your ability to assert and articulate the service you expect or want. If you cannot do this step – you pursuit is in a girl friend mode! And expect a “girlfriend” type of service!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by

justime

…….will

not

be enough if your ‘mistress’ is an Ang Pai (or even a semi Ang Pai) or if she has high consumption / consumerism habits. As such, there is a need for her to develop alternative ‘income’ channels to feed the habit. This is a practical and logical thing to do - and one which I myself will do if the roles are reversed.

Think of money in a mistressing context like this: It is not the sum of money that is important here. It is the use of money (regardless of amount) in enforcing and consolidating your power status in your relationship with her.

The corollary of the poor use/execution of “money as leverage” is that the ‘mistress’ will always stretch the limits of your tolerance. The more they can get away with it the better.

…. Never meekly submit nor play the ‘hurt’ man.

In getting your mistress to execute your desires, you do

NOT

ever seek her understanding (in the vain hope that she will be sympathize with you, feel kinda bad and then be somehow emotionally blackmailed into compromising with you). It never ever works this way!

b) Also Never get worked up and all riled up - to use anger as way to enforce the mistress desired behaviour.

The “My way or the highway” threats are very dispowering - especially if not backed up by deed!

Calm, factual and rational tone that underlies the seriousness of your intention is best. Follow up on the relevant “punitive measures” - there must be one. But never of the “throw the baby along with the bathwater” variety such as immediately ending the mistress patronage! (Or you will be missing a hellva good opportunity to take your relationship at the next level.)

Now that I have extracted - almost randomly from throughout this thread, let me provide a little analysis on whether I lived up to the precepts of empowerment that I talked about ….

(To be con’t …..)

Quote:

Originally Posted by

warbird

….

Are u back from Thailand?

I want to ask u n other experienced bros here re the many problems associated w/ long-term BY of 1 yr or longer. It’s almost like keeping an er nai or getting married!　Some gals want long-term commitment of at least a yr.

Hi Bro Warbird, I am still in BKK, Paeng is treating my exceedingly well. In fact so good that I have not visited my usual hangout at Poseidon (Ratchada) this time round ….. yet!

With regards to Long Term Commitment, it is heartening to note that your Time Perspective classifies a “One Year Period” as LONG term. When you enter into a BY arrangement,

we always note the transitory and transient nature of the relationship.

I have mentioned here that Hua have a mistress in Shanghai for four years and that Paeng herself is with me for longer than a year. XH, on the other hand, (if there should be no follow up, lasts for about two months thereabout). Notwithstanding the duration, we always know that (and may I add our mistress too) the relationship will inevitably run its course. No such “Tian chang di jiu” (general translation: live-time, forever) nonsense!

Note that the key feature here we call the shots with regards to the duration of the patronage/tenure. If boredom sets in, we will extricate ourselves – quickly and without guilt or any remorse whatsoever. Being experienced, we are inured against tears, emotional blackmail etc …. (it is part of the “bastard” attribute that I will talk about later).

You also need to recognize that the above cuts both ways, your mistress too can cut you off if a better prospect comes along or that she want to take her life into a new direction. You too need to itinerant mentality. When the need to move on surfaces,

you move on. No lingering. That is why it is of paramount importance to create multiple options for yourself.

I am presuming here that your questions stems from the “negotiation” stage. Of course, most prospective mistress would “prefer” or present a viewpoint that they want a “Long Term” arrangement. Firstly, it will massage her would be patron’s ego i.e. that she want a relationship and not only money per se.

(DO NOT have this thought whatsoever, its $ sign and only $ that fuels this relationship).

Secondly, not only does this arrangement secure their immediate financial needs, they can also have the option of finding their other prospects during this time.

As such,

never, never pay anything upfront beyond the first month advance

*. Also be vague about the period of Patronage. Theoretically a one year period is no problem – so you can (and should) mentioned the following provisos : that the one year period is no problem, provided you, my mistress, treat me good and ensure that I am not bored with you. (The latter is almost invariably used by a prospective mistress during the negotiation process to secure a long term commitment – and the proviso I alluded earlier is your counter argument).

Now you make the onus on your prospective mistress to ensure that you are not bored with her and that she has to work hard to make it work for the year.

* (It should be obvious that the payment system works on a monthly/fortnightly/weekly/daily/houly basis. Never even bi-monthly advance payment!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by

DO_YOU_BJ

Actually, in my book, a 二奶 is a mistress.

All others are lovers, toys, meat , toilets or FBs

Let’s start on the wants of long term commitments.

From a guy’s POV:

1. Unless you wanna stop cheonging, this is a good way to maintain a new LOVE LIFE in your life

2. Can be headache, if you still cheong, everytime you see new blood, headache, cos need to part more $$$$ just to get new meat, some can’t just outright dump the mistress, cos of the amount of time sacrifices she made for him, thus emotional attachments will lead you to pity her & thus still keep her around

3. A big danger is to actually fall in love wif them, for your initial aim was just the GFE and of cos, the meat

4. As time progresses, and feelings will develop in time for sure, she who entertained & fulfilled your WILDEST needs may want more than just $$$$, that’s when a beautiful dream becomes a nightmare for you

5. These WLs can become extremely possessive when they decided to stick with you for watever reasons, then, you will have to not only sneak out from your wife, but also this new BY…..thus, you actually trap yourself from freedom of movement

What happens when i’m traveling or out stationed for a while?

I still have to put $$$$ into her account but is she gonna be faithful or have secret rendezvous behind my back?

Thanks DYBJ for once again brilliantly highlighting the pitfalls of having a Long Term commitment with a BY. If should be obvious by now that, in addition to having some financial wherewithal to support a mistress, you must also be emotionally steady to engage a Mistress or else run the risk of being manipulated by them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by

Soul_Reaper

So troublesome for wat? I have forgone many offers to BY some really chio and young ones……. coz my mantra now is f*ck n forget

Quote:

Originally Posted by

warbird

….. in a long-term RS, even though the gal is a paid woman she may become very possessive n sticky. If she knows her man is not faithful to her, she may hv no qualms in fxxking around…especially when he is not in town.

Of course the biggest danger is for the man to fall in love w/ his BAO-ee…then he is ruined.

Since falling in love is not a conscious choice, no man is immune…

Having a mistress or a BY is not for the everyman. You must recognize that in addition to the money, there is also temperament, personal idiosyncrasy and character element to consider.

If you are emotionally vulnerable, do NOT go this route.

This being said, there are differences between “F**k & Forget” based relationship vis-à-vis a mistress besides the time element. In a mistress based relationship, the emotional texture and content is much more intense and multi faceted.

(Please note that this not necessarily a positive attribute – it can do you harm on your psyche if you cannot handle it).

I have mentioned earlier, that human relationships can be expressed in variety and a myriad of ways. For some, the sex element is NOT central. I can therefore appreciate and empathize why the “F**k & Forget” model is not a viable option for some brothers.

Know however, the potential price to pay when emotional content is involved in the equation. Yes, you have very sweet wayangs (when I see how Paeng diligently & conscientiously manicures me, I feel bit touched!), but you also have to encounter the more negative emotional content like: tantrums, jealousy fits etc…..

It is therefore safe to say, that the F**k & Forget model is best bet against unnecessary vexations – as bro Soul_Reaper so elegantly puts it: So troublesome for wat?

I would in fact highly recommend that you endeavor this “F&F” model first even before you BY. (If you have the ‘skillset’, you can even create nice sweet wayangs in the context of ST relationship). Only after you have developed a certain degree of callousness with regards to your interactions with women do you attempt BY. This is what I call getting emotionally prepared. (Re-read Bro DYBJ posting on the pitfalls of BY).

If after you have tried and done all that, and still think that BY is the route you want to go. The decision (and the consequence) is yours alone. But do always always pay heed to this key precept:

You must always think whether you are empowered in the relationship - before & during and even efter the relationship!.

If you are not empowered, quickly cut it out.

Also think in terms of your own selfish gratification rather than winning over the heart of your mistress

. You money already won her heart – no other niceties are needed!

Cheers and Happy Singapore National Day to all Singaporeans!

Quote:

Originally Posted by

warbird

I do hv a question. It’s a given that the gals u BY will not fxxk other men. Do u simply trust them or trust them but verify? If u verify, how far would u go? Would u get them accommodation w/ surveillance cameras very close to where u reside? Would u hv spies around the promises n at places where they work? Would u hire PI to follow them?

Hi Bro Warbird, just got back last nite. After BKK, went directly to Down Under for a fair bit of negotiation. Not much shagging there save some snogging session with an old ex gal friend there. “Old” is the operative word, she was a classmate of mine! See I can go beyond SYT if necessary!

(My personal credo – which is probably different from yours: As long as you look good, age is no issue …. Hsu Qi is in her thirties for example! )

Frankly, I can appreciate why there is the perception of “Trust but verify”. This “Reaganesque” view is due in part because:

1. We know that at the back of our mind our hold on our BY is tenuous at best. Another rich prospect come along and with a better financial offer, she flits away. There is perception (correctly I might add) that for a PRC mei, loyalty to a patron is foolish. They see you only as means to an end.

2. We are not confident that our ‘emotional hold’ on her is strong enough to withstand assault from competing Johns. Like it or not, if our prospect are aesthetically pleasing (which they invariably have to be in order to be BY by us), there will be other bees competing to pollinate her flower. We don’t want to see our efforts & money thrown in ‘courting’ her go to waste, especially if we are not done with her yet!

Okay, let me put it thus: the problem of verifying and surveillance occurs only when we are not “done” with our mistress for the present moment. We still want our sexual dalliances with her to go on for a while yet.

(If we are verge of letting her go, we can hardly be bothered. In fact, we encourage duplicitous behaviour because this can be our pretext of dumping her.)

Now I can empathize why such thoughts of verification emanate. I used to hold such notions too. For me however, no surveillance camera etc .. but I did engage PIs to trail my BYs. This is however during my earlier, nascent days of mistressing.

I hardly do so anymore. I can, by now, read very easily the verbal and non verbal cues when my BY lies. Be in this game for a while, it becomes so very easy to tell.

Now the prevailing atttidue is: Even if she does lie, I am not bothered. Since I want her to be at my beck & call, she simply has to be there whenever I need her. In other words, as long she meets my time / scheduling demands, I am alright with it.

As a check, if she happens to go out with her friends which coincides with the time I want her company; I simply say I want to join her & see the company she keeps. Do it randomly, without advance warning. Any excuse by her to say it private/personal matter etc does not cut it.

(If you are in the game long enough, you will also hear the following line a lot of times: “No need to pick me. Don’t inconvenient or trouble you, why don’t you rest, you must be tired. – sometimes a little sexual tease accompanies this display of ‘care and concern’ such as resting to conserve energy in order for wild sex session later).

Remember an earlier advice on not throwing a hissy fit should you discover her little ‘unfaithful’ dalliances. Remain calm at all times and use this to your advantage: such as when she heretofore does not want to swallow cum, use this pretext and moment to make her do your whims. This is turning an unpleasant situation to your advantage.

And to assuage some curiosity, let me tell you that out of the several times I engaged a PI to investigate my mistresses’ activities, there are no hotel visits or secret tryst of the sexual kind. They are mostly normal “dates” & sometimes a little light snogging and hand holding session. (Note: as far as a BY is concern, they know that they have crossed the line even with that).

I used to get extremely emotional when that happens. But now, I simply calmly assess what whether I want to continue with her.

a) If I do not want to continue the transaction – yes it is a transaction! - I will dump her outright. I will throw out all her things from the Love Nest (if need be) without a word being spoken.

b) If I decide that there is still some value – some women can be so aesthetically pleasing with the requisite skilful love wayangs that is so not easily replaceable at short notice (much like C. Ronaldo), I will use it to my advantage – mostly carnal. Whatever the case, the writing is on the wall on this one as her value in my eyes will plummet. (Now you know why having options & choice is a good thing!)

And finally, the most important thing is

do NOT obsess over the ‘being faithful’ aspect of the relationship

. This can be an Achilles heel to you. If you cannot let go of this, your obsession with your BY not keeping her end of the bargain can get to you.

Remember that when you put in emotions & constantly thinking her (even in the context of something unpleasant such as her being unfaithful), it empowers her vis-a-vis yourself. You will find it harder to let go without some ‘emotional damage’ unto yourself.

A

detached nonchalance

attitude is the best bet! And since I adopt this detached nonchalance attitude several years back, there hasn’t been a single instance of my BY (or even a gf) calling it quits on me because of a better prospect …. It has always been me to call on the shots on whether I want to continue on the transaction/relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by

wolf2305

… To getting to know the gal, i do employ your methods of getting to know the mummy/her best friend and limiting her income (although i have a budget, i have great friends that are willingly to help out …..

….. After 3 wks, i ask her, using your methods that whether she could accept my terms.

Without this thread, i think i could not have done it.

And without the 3 gurus here, i think i am still sitting down and just thinking about it.

FYI, my gal has went back to China, and she cant wait to come back

Hi Bro Wolf, let me first extend you my heartiest congratulations that you have taken action in order to bring your desires into fruition. This is the most essential step of manifesting success in whatever you do - including mistressing.

I remember a Chinese idiomatic expression: “shou zhu dai tu” (rough translation is “waiting beside a tree stump waiting for rabbits”). This essentially means that to be passive recipients and wait for chance rather than to show initiative in getting what you want. I am therefore glad that, you did

NOT

“shou zhu dai tu”. You went out to “sharpen your saw” (to borrow a Stephen Covey) in the fields rather than simply sit down with theoretical abstractions!

Also very good is that you are very methodical in your approach. It is the best way and most efficient way to learn & make the necessary adjustments so that you will be more efficient in the approach (landing your prospect) as well as handling the interpersonal dynamics of the Mistress-Patron relationship over the course of time. You sure that it will a one time off experience? …

Although the approach looks complicated on theory, I am sure you find the execution of it is very easy. You will find that on the fields, sometimes to get a mistress is as simple as an exchange of niceties and then you make the offer; while at other times “masterstrokes” are needed for the more challenging cases – you want that particular gal and enjoy the process of the pursuit.

Once again, kudos for taking action. And enjoy the fruits (papaya?) of your labour!