Quote:
Originally Posted by
leungccsg
yesterday, she took the initiative to sms me.
Her sms : " Had your lunch ? i am having bad day at
work so not in best of moods today".
my sms : what happen ? R u crying ?
her sms : nope.. just fyi.
my sms : hugs to u. if u need a listening ear, i will be there for u.
is this a good sign ? that when she faced with saddest , she comes back to me ?
It is indeed a good sign. As a good husband, u have to lend her your ears, be it a small talk, a gossip, a trivial complaint about her work etc etc.
Every individual, man and woman alike (especially woman) likes to have someone to confide in and speak to in order to destress. If your wife can’t find it in you, she will turn to any other. If she finds it in a man who has intention to fuck her, he will one day succeed, so you better make sure you are the one who fucks her and not another man. Pl excuse me if I have used too much vulgarity. If you don’t like it, dont fuck me back, just ‘make love’ to me.
as mentioned in my earller post , i called up that guy on the weekend and ask him abt the incident.
at first he denied and then he say he has the liking for my wife ( she is very popular ), but he maintain he has stopped contacting her and nothing of sort of an affairs.
my call to him is to demend him to stop all contact and funny acts.
he even say he is not afriad that i am talk to his wife as he has not done anything wrong ( maybe physical ). or maybe he does like my wife and made his advances but my wife rejected him ( something which i do not know why both of them stopped contacting each other for 6 mth liao ).
after my call to him , he gave my wife a call to ask what has happened ?
my wife called me saying that she has stopped contacting him and right now i am opening up a can of worms again .
shuld i try to get back to the guy ( bash me or destroy his reputation or family )
or i just let it rest ?
TS, from what you posted, I too feel that your wife might have taken for granted the type of treatment you’ve been providing… and her ‘overtime’ and reaction from your complaining is indeed very suspicious.
She might not be involved with any 3rd party… but don’t be so sure yet for your own good.
Really agree with some bros here. TS, you are a control freak, I would say you have overlooked your wife giving in to you as well.
If you love your woman, treat her with respect. If she doesn’t want to have a baby, which is probably due to her desire to progress further in her career, why cant you wait? Marriage is a two person issue. Having a baby is an even bigger issue and decision for both parties.
Just because you want to have a baby she has to give in? Have you asked yourself, why do you want to have a baby? Have you asked her, why doesnt she want to have a baby? Why cant you compromise with her instead of she compromising with you? Why not come to a joint compromise? Pardon me for sounding blant, it come across to me that you are the only “right” party here, painting picture she is in the wrong etc.
You probably pushed her to her limits before she left the house! No wonder she needs to seek solace outside from other men. YOU made her so!
If she works late, it means she is having affairs outside? I am not sure why kind of line you are in, if you do not have OT, it doesnt mean she cant have. Flip it over, if you are the one having the OTs, reach home and see your wife sleeping everytime you reach home at 11pm, how would YOU feel?
You are being totally selfish here! Why cant you reach home, take a short nap, wake up at around 11pm when she gets home so that you can have some small chats with her instead? Or go better by going to pick her up from her work, have some small supper sometimes? Wait up for her, ask her how’s her day before going for your beauty sleep, that so difficult? You sleep earlier than her and wake up later than her, how much beauty sleep do you need?
Everyone deserves a career, whether you have 100times of your current salary savings are bullshit. You come across to all that you are very proud of your achievements, and the only thing you are unhappy is bacause she wouldnt “listen” to you to have a baby, i.e., have things your way. You are now “lost” because she deliver a blow back to you by leaving the house, and do not know how to counter punch back at her.
If you can be successful in your career (assuming so since you can live 10 years on a 10k monthly budget without working, you must be earning top dollars and have huge amount of cash savings), why can you give a her a chance to prove herself at the top too?
In short, if you love your woman, treat her with respect. She is not your baby producing machine, if you get upset with her because she doesnt want to have a baby, it is fair to her to be upset because you are forcing her to have a baby. Have you been a parent? Do you know how much it takes for a woman to carry a baby for about 10 months and delivering the baby (which is literally one feet in the coffin for them, ask any woman who has delivered whether it is easy)? Do you know if she is having phobia on pregnancy? Could it be something medically that she has kept away from you?
Take that ego off yourself if you still love your wife. Treat her with respect and I am sure she will give you back 10 times what you deserve. For all your know, she will be more than willing to be your baby producing machine (puns intended).
You only want her back, but you will not know what to do to her when she is back, so why want her back in the first place? Say she is back today, it is going back to the same routine, is that what you want? Is that what she wants? That is probably the reason why she still chooses not to come back.
I do not apologize for being blunt, you come across to me as an egoistic man who wants his woman to listen to his everything, keep moaning about her shortcomings etc. Anyone perfect out there? Are you perfect?
I feel from your posts that you think you are. If you cant accept the fact that she is strong will too, go get a baby producing machine outside, it is cheap to keep mistresses nowadays. Let them produce your babies and suck your money dry instead. They will stroke your ego to the extreme too.
If you love her, you will know what to do. Good luck.
No TS, you are not stupid, just a decent man who loves his wife. But be forewarned this is a long path of potential extreme pain and frustration, and you might not succeed, because ultimately, you need her to want to try too.
You need to watch yourself with this guy. He probably would have told her crap like how he was disconnected with his own wife, sob stories about his kids, given her a feeling about how they share the same sense of disillusionment with their marriage, and how he feels so sorry but cannot help how he feels etc. As long as your wife is vulnerable he may still try his luck. Don’t do anything illegal. There are other ways. Your actions against him, (if any) for now, is simply to win your wife back. Revenge is a dish best served very, very cold.
lostALau: it depends how good a manipulator the other guy is. It’s not hard to drive a woman to the point where nothing her husband does is right, such is her negative mindset. It’s a vicious cycle, she’ll feel disconnected with the hubby while in denial that her contact with this other man had made the situation a lot worse than it actually was or could have been. In other words, whatever marital problems could have been sorted out with less heartache with proper counselling if need be, but she chose to open up to someone else, and if this person is so disposed, he can play her mind like a violin. I don’t care how intelligent she may be, she has lost herself. In the initial stages, she might even find it even more saddening that the husband and her has lost their “connection”, spiralling the negativity quotient.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
leungccsg
…or i just let it rest ?
Let it rest lah. It’s not a win-win situation if you pursue.
This is the point where you have to live up to your words when you say you are prepared to take back your wife.
So, if you really are prepared, forget the past and look to the present.
Just revel in the fact that you have a gorgeous wife who has never failed to make men hard in their pants (quote, she is very popular, unquote) and the important thing is, she’s YOURS and not anybody else’s.
Now work towards reconciliation. She has taken that first step to sms you. Don’t open up that can of worms like she’d mentioned. I am 100% sure she is feeling very bad about confiding in someone else. But do not blame her entirely because you might have neglected her and moreover, she’s stopped all contact with that guy. She must have awoken from the stupor she was in so don’t dwell on the past.
As for that guy, I can tell you he is just putting up a front acting tough. “Not afraid that you talk to my wife” ? I am not too sure myself. Of course, maybe nothing physical has happened. But it doesn’t take his wife to blow things up once she learnt that her husband had feelings for someone else’s wife.
But then again, there’s really no point to pursue the matter since your wife is showing positive signs towards you. The above scenario was written to soothe your ego but it can also be very real.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
et911
Everyone deserves a career, whether you have 100times of your current salary savings are bullshit. You come across to all that you are very proud of your achievements, and the only thing you are unhappy is bacause she wouldnt “listen” to you to have a baby, i.e., have things your way. You are now “lost” because she deliver a blow back to you by leaving the house, and do not know how to counter punch back at her.
Women should not have careers. A woman’s place is at home. Her job is to cook, clean, produce offspring and look after the kids.
It’s about time women are put in their place. They have been running wild far too long.
bros and sis,
i took your comments seriously
et911 :
i asked her for pregnancy since our 3rd yr of marriage. now it was 8th yr.
is that call compromise or being patient ?
plus , i told her getting a baby is out of love and committment.
but to choose baby over her ? i choose her 110%
secondly , when she comes home late after OT , i always wait for her. after she settled , i would try make small talk but everytime she say she is too tired. we have our own cars , so picking her up is not ideal. going out supper ? she is too tired ?
i even waited out for her to come home so that we can have dinner together.
you made a good point , do i want her back just to have her back ?
what am i going to do if the routine continues ?
i told her last week in fact in my earlier email abt understnding her work stress and proving herself etc …… so i just want to be her understnding husband.
did i miss out anything ?
i will try anything just to win back this relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sammyboyfor
Women should not have careers. A woman’s place is at home. Her job is to cook, clean, produce offspring and look after the kids.
It’s about time women are put in their place. They have been running wild far too long.
I beg to differ. Without women in the the work force, how can men get FBs, OLs to drool on, FOCs offer from ladies of all ages trying to hit their sales quotas??
think. if she can walk out so easily the first time, who’s to say there wun be another? if it is the guy who did this act, he be labelled as irresponsible..so think carefully..