wife wanted out - help

my opinion is that she has someone outside. probably already doing it in the office, during lunch hours and even after work. i suggest you call it quits. no point tying her down further. she has found her freedom elsewhere.

Hi Bro TS,

The following point are just my 2 cents worth.

1. When a woman wants out…… Its almost impossible to keep the relationship going. But when a man wants out, there is a high chance that it will still work out when the woman persist.

2. If she is not earning more than you, and she do not like her boss, then why is she spending so much time at work? Do you know that nowadays we could work from home, all thanks to technology.

3. I know that you love her too much to believe or suspect that she is seeing someone else, but have you spoken to your In-Laws? Do you know where is she? Do they know what happened?

4. If she is seeing someone, then she would be very careful in her mail, SMS, etc. Are you sure that she only have 1 HP or SIM Card? Are you sure that she does not have any other web mail, which is easily available, etc.

5. As some of the fellow BROs her have said please go get a PI. Also get a good one.

6. As you are able to provide for yourself and your wife, then why is there a need for her to work sooooo hard.

Just my little points of view. Hope it helps. I know these words might be painful but I think its time you learn how to protect yourself from getting hurt further. Life goes on no matter what happened. But if eventually things do workout, then forget what I had mentioned.

Just let her do her things and if she really wanna cherish the relationship, she will be back to you.

As for asking her to do lesser OT, i doubt you can because with the market now and reject doing OTs, you might as well ask her to quit otherwise her Boss will also do so.

Chill now, don’t pester her and let her do what she want if you really love her.

Treat it as a BET, either she will return to you after she sort out her thought or she won’t.

Good luck and take good care…

Bro,

Go register a marriage counselling program. The counsellor will act as a mediator between you and your wife to help resolve your marriage issues.

Just google on Marriage Counselling… you will see a lot of community centre offer this kind of program.

Hope its useful to you.

just plan and get ready about how you can manage your life without her. In the worse case, since she is the one that opts out, assets should be ruled more in your favour. This is a fact of life. without $, dun talk anything else.

Only then that you can overcome your own life, with or without your wife.

My speculation is, as with most bros, must be a 3rd party involved. Guys are more careless in hiding secrets. you’ll be surprised how well girls can hide secrets when things goes wrong. If you have not been there, you won’t know…

Just be sure that you’ll be in a better position once you can make her understand that you can live on life well (or better) without her. She’ll see a difference, whether she’s going to be with you or not.

we still have regular sex ( at least 2 times per week ) . in fact duriing that day when she walk out of the house , the same afternoon we have a good kissing and fondling sexxsion ( her aunt visit so cannot do ).

can a woman still have sex without the feeling of love ?

i spoke to in law since she is putting up with them now , they also confirmed that there are no 3rd party. In fact , for the 8 yrs we are married , she has very little friends and seldom goes out with them. she only join the new company 6 mths ago……. and since the start of job , OT is on regular basis. so i see no reason that office affairs happened since 1 day of her work.

marriage counselling ? i want but i guess she will not go. she those kind want to save " face “. she does not want people to know abt this incidents , she never speak to anyone as well. she just keep all to herself. even not opening up much to her parents ( which is the close ones )

Hi Leung,

I’ve been in the same boat as you. So here’s my experience. Take whatever you can from it to help your situation.

Was with my gf (my soulmate) for 5 years. All was good. Graduated, good job , and good pay. But, was accused for being possessive. To her, I was smothering her till she felt like she could not breathe. I was devastated. Just starting to build my career and then this happen.

Here’s what I did. I left her. If you love somebody, set them free. You cant hold someone back especially when they are an adult. Furthermore, you may want to take a look at yourself. I say this because I was insecure. Like any man, you are afraid she may be eating elsewhere. Call and meet everyday. Now, I learn to be more independent and be confident.

On the bright side, you are now given a clean bill to start again. Now you can get back into the hunt and take your time to choose and really find out if the two of you share the same philosophy, i.e., marriage and children.

So look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. And you will come out of this better.

Cheers,

THG

Quote:

Originally Posted by

Clyde Frog

Other brothers may call you to consider salvaging such a relationship, but I will let you be the judge of that. I will reply this post base on salvaging the relationship.

Do you know any of her friends?

Because if you do, that will surely help. ……

Try that avenue. …….. If you don’t know any of her friends/close family, then I don’t how to offer you any help already.

Good Luck Bro.

Good advise (or advice..my english no good), but over time and hwat some bro pointed out, she may not be what you think pure work and no 3rd party.

If you love her..let her cool down…and you too.. if she really want to leave you for some one can you accept?

If really no 3rd party… after cooling down she will realise what she miss in you but…if there is you want to wait??

Just my 5cents

thanks bro and sister for giving me the moral support and advice.

my heart still feel very painful though.

i cannot sleep in the night , daytime can’t help but to think abt the “hurtful” word you said to be ( be it impluse or real ),

she told me that she wanted me to be emotionally strong during this painful times after she left me. she say how can she ever rely on me if i am so weak if she were to return.

saying that is is also opp of it all. how can i be emotionally strong and prevent nothing has happened esp my only love ran away from me ?

i am trying to cope life without her but was damp difficult and painful.

counselling is a good option unless she is willing to go. ( now she dun want to see me even, how can i ask her to go ??? )

well , i behave like most guys…. if my partner sudden commit so much of her time at work or such rather than me , of coz wild imagination will come.

fear overtook me last time , that’s why i started to monitor her emails secretly , check her sms secretly . everything pointed to one fact , she is cleaned.

but due to my past mths complaints of her OT , i said to her is work has taken over me as priority of her life. she did tried over the p[ast mths not to do so much OT and but seems like the work stress is getting onto her and passed onto me.

we still sms each other till today.

i even called her parents and aunt which she is closest to and ask her she is opening up. All of them said she kept quiet to that ques. but she did not mention the word divorce at all.

is this a positive sign ? i dunno. coz she did mention to me via email during our quarrel but lately nothing of such.

but she still dun want to see me.

i asked her if she love me still , she said she gotto think abt it .

is this a good sign as well ? if she wanted a breakup , she would have say she stopped loving me ?

i am confused.