Perhaps she finds the relationship stifling. If there is no 3rd party involved then perhaps back off a bit and give her some space. Esp where a person is very independent minded, too much attention can be a turn-off.
i would also agree to a cooling off period. giv her some time to think. she will come back if she realli loves n needed u. if she dont, then realli its difficult to have her back. ger heart change already difficult change back liao. my own experience is tt… if a ger treats mi too good. i will soon take it for granted and worst.. i start to find her annoying as they will be more possessive… on the other hand.. those gers which sometimes treat mi gd sometimes dun.. i will wan them more.! the feeling is stronger. so maybe u should giv ur wife some breathing space. if things still dun change. then maybe u should have a gd tok wif her. c can find solutions anot.
When a person wants out, he or she can find thousand and 1 reasons to be out. Seems like bro u r in a bad situation. You can weigh which is important. Do u actually love her so much? Since u did nothing wrong, then she might have did something. She might be running away from certain things. If she is willing to talk and trash it out, then it will be good. But be prepared for the worse. Things will be over. Is just how it will be over and done with. Hope u can take things easy.
Find a PI and you will know if there’s someone else.
It seems she wears the pants in the relationship. Deciding when to have kids, seems to have a better career than you etc. If she is indeed career-minded, coming home to a nagging husband who wants her to sacrifice her hard-fought career success for a child will be a big turn off. Especially so if she earns more than her husband and it’s likely that she will end up footing most of the bills of the kid.
Is she more successful than you? Earning more than you? If so, then put yourself in her shoes. She sacrifice her career prospects cos when she has a child, employers may not want her to hold too much responsibilities. She may end up being the main bread-winner of the family cos you have no career…
8 years is a long time for a marriage to stagnate. Having a kid moves the marriage to the next level in my opinion.
Hi bros,
thanks for all the advice.
i believed no 3rd party from her is that i have monitor her phones call , emails etc and everything is clean. most important is that i know her character , she will not “eat outside “.
i did brough up the point abt getting professional consulting, but whatevers things i suggest or even compromise , she rejected it all.
we are still on talking terms…. just that she does not want to see me at all for 2 reasons, (1) she ran away (2) she held me to my promise for the cool off period.
i have approach her close aides to talk to her. But seems that she is not opening up to them as well. she just shut everything out.
in fact, i am earning more than her all these years. and i am the one who plans out future. she has been a supportive wife all these yrs.
she does not like her current employer but they are giving her a lot of opportunity to grow. maybe career minded , but she just say she is too busy with work until no time to do her own job except after office hrs since dytime she has tons of meeting to attend. guess she trying to fulfill the duty in office but expect me to be the 100% supportive husband even to the point i dun get to see her on weekday ( she come home , i sleep . she leave for work , i still sleeping )
i do love her a lot until i dare not to face life without her.
i guess she is using the cool off period just to do her office work instead.
bros , do u think a woman would think of relationship problem esp when they are so busy at work ?
i seriously do not want out.
bros
let me hear your opinion
what is the fine line between being possesive and wanting to spent time with her out of love.
she work 4out of 5 days OT till late.
i ask her to give me a bit of time ( be it lesser OT , or maybe try not to work too late and come home, etc )
asking my wife to give me time after office hrs is it too much to ask for ? id this call possesive ?
Hi TS, i dont think your wife is cheating or have someone else outside to be honest. Speaking from experience, why she does overtime almost daily is just that she doesnt want to spend so much time at home. Basically want to avoid you as much as she can and just spend more time at the office. It doesnt mean she has that much work to do, she just want to do her work slowly and not head home too early and see you.
Usually when it comes to this stage, the female already feels otherwise and she has already stopped trying, whatever methods you try, counselling and all, if she doesnt want to try anymore, to be honest, its better to give her a cooling off period and let her think. If she thinks it through, she will decide whether she wnats to be with you or not. And if she does decide to be with you, she will start trying again, in the mean time, let her cool off. Ball is no longer in your court. I experienced this before and it was identical to what you are going through. In the end it didnt go through, but it is for the better anyway. Better chop off the finger now and suffer a bit, then to wait for the diseased finger to infect the entire arm and then chop off the arm.
my 2 cents worth.
Bro TS,
forgave me for being direct..
are you guys still having regular sex? when is the last time??
if the answer is “NO”, then it would mean that she most probably is seeing another guy..
sorry for my bluntness.. just that i have been there, done that..
Quote:
Originally Posted by
leungccsg
now she wanted out of the marriage.
she left our home while i was not in and since then refuse to see me .
demanding a " cooling off " period.
I?
Bro,trust me, ur wife is seeing another guy. I got a friend,his wife also walk out of the marriage out of sudden. Also refusing to see him and send him a lawyer letter for separation.When a girl is heartless,there is no way u can change her mind.take care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
qwerty66
Bro leungccsg.
If you are serious about saving your marriage.
Advice to seek help from a marriage counsel.
use this link to find the centre you like.
Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports
Make a appointment and talk to them first. They will give you good professional advise and could also arrange counselling session for both you and your wife to patch up.
Get help before it is too late.
Dun waste your time with those jurbronees, went to TOUCH Family Services at Bt ***** talked & spent $$ with Counsellor Tan C*** K****
Meet me once & my wife on separate occasions, 1 tim, after that the usual no more followup, from my meeting in Aug 08, got back only Feb 09.
By then I think I Si Liao… KNN