-
It’s been so many years and it’s still troubling you. Get rid of the demon by writing it out. The first step to recovery is to acknowledge you can’t change the past.
-
A lot of brothers and sisters here will give you advice and form a support system for you to move on and recover from whatever traumatises you. You can clearly see some of us trying to do that now, even in the first few posts.
-
Personally, I think you write much better than Ah Lian. I like your writing style and I’m looking forward to reading about your life.
- It’s been so many years and it’s still troubling you. Get rid of the demon by writing it out. The first step to recovery is to acknowledge you can’t change the past.
- A lot of brothers and sisters here will give you advice and form a support system for you to move on and recover from whatever traumatises you. You can clearly see some of us trying to do that now, even in the first few posts.
- Personally, I think you write much better than Ah Lian. I like your writing style and I’m looking forward to reading about your life.
After viewing some of the stories posted by readers here since starting of tis yr, I found out that there are quite a number of female readers writing on their personal life and how they feel. Henceforth, I decided to open an account and share a life story of mine. I hoped that all of you can be my listening ear as I cant tell anyone abt this. What I did in the past really troubled me till now, I cant forgive myself and feels really guilty whenever my husband ask whether should we have a baby of our own.
During school day, I mixed with bad accompany, join SS, fight, gang fight, take drug….so on and so forth. I was young, ignorant, naive and also very very foolish at that time. I even went for abortion, cut my wrist when my bf left me previously, tattoo my ex bf name on my arm…etc (yes. others call us ah lian but so how or rather it’s the trend previously)
Now I am married to a “honest” guy but dun dare to have my own kid. He is those guai guai type, very conservative and traditional. His dad is a lecturer and their whole family thought that I am really that innocent which have been acting all these while. I did not want to keep in contact with “those” sisters even all my sch frd and I even balloted house that is faraway from where I stayed previously.. I dun want my dar to know abt my past, dun want him to know about what foolish things I did and also dun want to have a broken family eventually when he knows. But if I dun tell him, I will be guilty for the rest of my life and till now having a baby of our own is a big “NO! NO!” to me.
All these started when I first entered a notorious secondary school due to my poor grade for PSLE. Being a new student in school, I was very timid and naïve. Still remember at that point of time, lotsa sec 1 guys even sec 2 guys going after me probably because my breast grow slightly faster than other school mates. On the other hand, I was always bullied by seniors as I supposed they are jealous. They will intentionally “chay tai ji” (find trouble) with me but fortunately those guys will help me and bring me away. Eventually, their “tow eh” (leader) knew abt this and once again came to me, she was almost double my size and her looks was enough to scare me to hell. I was taken to the girl’s toilet and was surrounded by whole bunch of them, I could hear noise of my guys frd outside the toilet trying to “rescue” me but to no avail. They simply told the guys that its “char bo tai ji, da bo mai chay qiu” (girl’s matter, guys dun interfere). I felt so helpless and afraid at that time, I was thinking what had I done wrong but while I am thinking, “Piak”, I got a tight slap from the “tow eh”….The laughter from the rest and the look of the leader made me feels so humiliated but yet what can I do? Blap….Blap….Blap….. eventually I was forced to join them so that I will not be bullied by others anymore. My entire life was change since then………………
During my era, we communicate with lotsa & lotsa *$*%$# and those gangster “language”…. I am penning it down just to relieve myself as I got no one to confront to, hopefully it wont bored u all that muchie. I will cont with how my life was change, what I did, what happened to me, so on and so forth, when I have the time and opportunity to do so.
Hi TS,
Sorry about yr past but……
CONGRATS
to yr new beginning. Overjoy for u turning over a new leaf. Don’t be too concern about yr past. Its over. Everyone has a past. Remember what I say "
Is not what u have done that makes a different. Is what u do now that makes a difference
. Yr future children depends on u."
About revealing yr past to yr dar, cannot advise u. Is really up to u. However, I can only say that if yr dar is an understanding person, then reveal to him. If not better think twice. But revealing to him will mean a relief of pressure and stress from you isn’t it. Also, if u meet yr “tong” outside, don’t worry. If ask by yr dar or in-laws, just say, last time school friends. If ask further why mix with them…..just answer, well young and naive…not mature and not sensible at that time. Then everything will be fine!
Good luck.
dont worry….. just ask yourself your huuby married u because of who ur at the present…. not for what u did in the past….. even if finds out i believe he will not mind as he can see ur no longer that kind of gal anymore
no person of sound mind will go crazy of what u did when u were in ur secondary school days…. so long liao… everyone got their stupid times lah
so pen down ur worries….. and let them off ur heart and mind…. move on… even if u keep dwelling about it the world will not stop and wait for u…. it stills turns round….. so be brave and tell ur hubby… if he loves u i dont think he will leave u because of that
thanks for your biography… it will help youngster to choose right direction.
please also give advice to local teenage boy and gir.
expecting more from you.
thanks
congrats that you take the first step to voice out your story.
everyone got a pass. yours are just a passing of young adolescent.
we have seen our share of “pai kai” but who is the biggest and licence “pai kai” in sg
your old “buddies” still scare you?
keep in mind that you have avoided them is not you are afraid. It is to avoid needless reunion with the gang. Be brave and stand up to it.
anyway, once you have decide that it was all in your past and can share it without being uncomfortable. Go ahead and have a good laugh with your dar.
then he know that you have a tigress inside and not play play
I agree with some of our bros who say it’s all in the past. You are no longer like that… But I want you to write everything out as detailed as you can. 3 reasons why.
well everyone has his or her own past..when we’re young, we always do foolish things..only when we grow up, we will think all our actions are foolish n we are just silly…
u r lucky to married to a gd guy..a honest guy doesnt mean he’s not open minded, doesnt mean he will not forgive ur past..
n y scared to have ur own baby?..cos scared soc checked out u had abortion b4?…
TS, your past is water under the bridge. Guilt won’t help you move on.
Could have been worse, right? You are now blessed with new marital life, and face your (maybe unfounded) fears on new addition to family.
If your therapy is in getting off your chest, write on. We are all ears
Heed my words.
Life is a soreful journey of hardships and choices.
Few moments of grasp are of happiness.
Only with pain shall happiness be appreciated.
Only through hardships shall happiness last.
With happiness comes the appreciation of life.
And with life the meaning of hope.
And with hope comes trust.
And with trust, faith arises.
With faith, nothing else beats you into believing what you can do.
Past is past. Take them in heart not as regrets, but as lessons.
Thats the mindset of successful people.
Especially scientists whom make life better.
I am thinking why after I posted, nothing came out. I supposed the fact is that I am still under moderation therefore the posting was delayed. Sori abt that.. I dunno how to use the function well here so I will type out my reply.
To: Oralcraz, Hotdick69, qwerty66 & Headon,
Thank you for your advice. Frankly speaking its not only my abortion. Impt is who cause me to get pregnant in the first place? What happened to me previously that cos me unable to walk out of the darkness? You will see why am I traumatises till now when I eventually revealed in my bio.
To: Xgenre,
Yes, I got no one to talk to abt this and also dun wan let my frd know abt this. I feels comfortable writing here because no one know me.
It will be great too if I receive support and advice here. Realli appreciate that.
Thanks. I did upgrade myself by going to some courses. I can say that I am totally change now but just that the permanent scar still remains.